I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

Forget it, because that's impossible.

It's almost impossible for me to do anything other than studying, right?

"What is this you drew?"

"That thing on TV yesterday..."

"Wow! No way? You actually said this thing is... Hey, come and look at this guy's drawing."

"What is this..." "It's so ugly..."

"He himself said this was the main character from yesterday's animation."

"Hahaha, it doesn't look like anything at all!" "Don't talk nonsense! It's clearly a monster." "Are you insulting the protagonist?" "You're such a rubbish! You still want to compete with the best painter in class?" "No way! You'll never be a painter in your life."

“That’s enough!”

I grabbed the painting that had been ridiculed enough and tore it into pieces.

At the same time, this idea was torn to pieces.

That's when I noticed.

I...there's really nothing I can do.

Chapter 24 [Memories] Hope

No matter what I do it's impossible to accomplish.

Even though no one told me explicitly, I felt like that was the way it was. No matter what I did, they would tell me, "You're not cut out for it," "You'd better give up," and "You won't be able to succeed."

If you can't do what you want to do, then just do what others have done...

It’s not glorious, but at least it won’t be questioned.

I don't have any dreams, so when people ask me what kind of person I want to be, I always answer like this:

“I don’t want to be a hero or a god, I just want to be a tree, growing for the years and hurting no one.”

Even though this statement was not sincere.

But if you say this, no one will question it, because it is said by a celebrity.

People are very realistic. It seems that as long as they become famous, everything they say is right.

It doesn't matter what...because I don't want to be denied by others anymore.

..................

As usual, the teacher at the podium picked out my composition and read it out to those who were not good at writing, as if he was demonstrating it.

But I understand that this is of no use to those people because they simply don't care.

And I wouldn't care.

In a sense, it wasn't my work at all. I just tossed in other people's famous quotes...but the teacher seemed to like that kind of writing.

I hate such articles, but such articles will not be disliked by teachers, and will even be affirmed.

That's how strange things are.

Ultimately, my teachers and parents just want me to become what they want me to be. To do this, I need to cut off a series of factors that may affect my studies.

Even if it will hurt me... Oh, yes, they all think it is good for me, so they don’t feel that they are wrong. Well... Yes, I am the only one who is wrong.

I shouldn't have thought too much. I'm just a guy who can't do anything. Even if you let me make specimens or draw comics, I will never succeed.

I can't do anything at all.

"You're still a long way off."

Yes, there is such a voice that reminds me of this.

"Really... You also think I don't have a talent for writing, right?" It must be so, this is fate... No matter what I do, there will always be someone who denies me.

"That's not the case... I think there's still hope."

"...You mean... hope?"

No one had ever said such words to me before, so for a moment I really thought I had misheard.

"Yeah, even though the content isn't great, the sentences are still better than everyone else in the class... except me."

「…………」

I stared at her blankly.

Her lively, vibrant face seemed to be perpetually adorned with a smile, a different kind of smile... as if it hinted at something she was thinking. Why... why would someone who looked so outstanding be talking to someone like me?

Maybe this is a miracle?

“Every day we experience is a miracle that comes together.” This statement is true.

If it weren't for her, I don't know who I would be.

"Okay, could you please stop imitating others and have a little of your own style?"

She suggested this to me.

In my opinion, she is the only one who can understand me and the only one who does not deny me.

"Do you... do you think I have the ability to write?"

"Yes, but in my opinion, you're still a long way from being a true writer. If you don't mind...how about I teach you?"

Everyone has been denying me.

In fact, I am not afraid of other people's denial... because I know that everyone makes mistakes and has things they are not good at.

However, those who put forward opinions and expressed their views...never said the words "I will teach you".

"I...I'd be happy to... No, I'd rather ask you to teach me!"

Maybe this is the only thing I can keep going.

I've lost so many things I wanted to do...and haven't found anything I want to do in a long time.

This time, it finally showed up... I don't want this to disappear again like before.

"Please... teach me..."

I felt my eyes getting warm, and my voice became excited... It seems that I really like... writing.

"Well...I'll teach you."

She said, gently holding my hand.

"Work hard."

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

"When love is in its infancy, a little hope is all that is needed." — Stenthal

Maybe I'm just being too sentimental.

I think I'm starting to like her.

That girl who can’t be described as gentle and considerate, but is absolutely beautiful in my heart.

When the day begins, I hope time will pass slowly so that I can spend more time with her in the classroom. But when the day ends, I hope time will pass quickly so that I can see her again.

I want to be there for her.

I wanted to see her concentration as she read the article.

Sometimes he frowns, sometimes he smiles, and sometimes he suddenly says that what I write has this or that shortcoming.

I want to hear her ecstasy when she reviews an article.

Like a picture introducing a friend, she could pour out her heartless tales of famous authors, anecdotes about their writing, experiences, her opinions of the books, her favorite plots and passages. Her selfless emotions were as pure as a white lotus.

I want to hear her opinion of me.

Like a search engine, she can proudly point out where certain paragraphs of my articles come from, and then point out the similarities and differences between the emotions expressed and the original.

Every time this happened, she would put on a cute look, point and tap my forehead gently, or say something complaining.

At the end, they always add the phrase "get rid of the constraints of others" and "how many times do I have to say it?"

I knew she wasn't angry, but she was behaving in a subtle way.

There are so many reasons to like her.

But what I like most is that she gave me hope.

Living in darkness, I longed for light. And she was that ray of sunshine. It might seem insignificant to others, but she showed me what light looks like.

I decided... to write a real book... to be a real writer.

By then... maybe I will have enough courage to tell her the words that have been hidden in my heart for a long, long time.

Um... "Can I stay with you?"

[From "The Cat Who Lived a Million Times"]

unknown

“Do you think I could be a writer?”

I had asked that person this before.

"I think you're still a little short."

She answered without thinking.

"What else is missing?"

I know that she always sees things very clearly, so I have unconditional trust in her.

"Too many~ For example, the writing is still very immature, the subject matter is inexplicable, the writing has no unique characteristics... Most importantly, there are too many clichés, right?"

"I see..."

So I'm still as far behind as I was at the beginning... This won't work at all. I need to... grow faster.

"Don't frown like that. You're still young, after all. There's no need to rush. As you grow older and gain more experience, your writing will definitely change. Just like fine wine, it gets better with age."

"oh..."

Maybe my expression showed my anxiety...

I couldn't help but be anxious because I wanted to tell her that sentence as soon as possible...after all, I was about to graduate. So I couldn't wait that long.

It's all because I met her too late... No, I was lucky enough to meet her, what am I still thinking...

"I understand... I'll try my best."

I'm not just talking...I will work hard to correct my shortcomings, and then say those words before we part ways which will come sooner or later.

Wait for me...it won't be long.

Chapter 25: Unknown

"You've been in a daze lately, Ahao."

Lu Yunzi patted Sun Hao's shoulder helplessly. Sun Hao was looking into the distance at this time, holding the unfinished barbecue and half-drunk beer in his hands.

"Oh... because I remembered some past events..." He smiled at her sheepishly and quickly finished the things in his hand.

"..."

"And we also have to think about the next plans for the club. We can't just bother our seniors and juniors when we run out of ideas."

Perhaps noticing Lu Yunzi's lost expression, he immediately added another sentence.

"Ah...that's right...after all, Senior Su will be graduating soon, and by then the only one he can rely on will be the country..." Lu Yunzi finally relaxed his brows.

"If possible, I'd like to plan the script myself. Sheji isn't really suited to scripts, but I'm drawn to his wonderful imagination and writing style."

"Is that so? I haven't seen many of his articles... I only read the preface in the class publication they put out at the cultural exhibition."

"Ah...that." He laughed unconsciously. "I think it's pretty good...even though it's short, it shows his level."