I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

Didn't you say you'd be the first to help me when I was in trouble? And you also promised not to leave me alone again...but you acted like you forgot all that.

Maybe it's because of me...after all, every time I see him, I say something to alienate him.

But it wasn't from the heart...it was just an expectation.

Looking forward to his rebuttal, looking forward to him saying those words again.

However... maybe this is just my wishful thinking.

Chapter 18 [Memories] Impulsiveness is also human nature

"People of different ages will inevitably have different ways of thinking and behavior. Age determines the maturity of thinking and behavior, which is understandable. However, although people of the same age group have certain commonalities, differences in behavior still exist.

In other words, even among people of the same age, there are people whose thoughts and behaviors do not conform to that age group.

Those whose thinking is slightly behind or ahead of their peers are considered outliers by most of their peers, and are instinctively rejected. Well... I guess I'm one of them."

"So, which type are you, brother?"

I didn't feel that I didn't understand my brother's chatter. Instead, I asked my own questions with great interest.

"Ah... well..."

Holding the notebook, he thought for a moment, then closed it and scratched his hair with the corner, as if he was thinking seriously.

"Well... well, I guess in those people's eyes, my way of thinking is backward. After all, it's impossible to get them to admit that someone else is better than them."

He seemed to be amused by his own words, threw the notebook in his hand on the table, and then looked at me with a smile.

"That's just the way it is with people who can't tolerate others. They're not very broad-minded at all."

"Ah...Is that so?"

But the teacher always says that those who are not sociable have no intention of making friends with others...If you sincerely want to make friends with others, you will definitely succeed.

Who should I trust...

"You are worthy of being my cousin... You don't fit in with those guys at school, do you?" He suddenly turned his eyes to me, still smiling.

"No, not really... I just don't want to talk to them. And I'm trying to get along with them..."

Actually not, because they seem to be avoiding me...

"And why do you have to call me cousin? I call you brother, and you're still so distant."

"But this is the truth. Even if we are related by blood, she is not my biological sister."

"I think you're looking for a fight..."

Although it was impossible to beat up someone who was a few years older than me, the brother in front of me was an outlier among his peers after all, so I was still able to subdue him.

"If you change your violent personality, you might be able to find friends."

He didn't take my threat seriously, instead turning his gaze to the bookshelf to the side. "Even I wouldn't start a fight just because someone said something bad about me... You should stay calm. After all, words can't cause any physical harm."

"...Yeah..."

I know, but it doesn't matter what I say. I don't care if I get scolded... It's just...

"Don't you have a brother? He looks like a coward too..." "Is that really his brother? He looks so gloomy, so scary." "No, no, no, I think he's disgusting, right? I wonder if he's taken a shower?" "Hahaha, he's worthy of being this guy's brother..."

"You simply don't understand..."

Even though I didn't want to, those words still popped up in my mind and lingered in my ears for a long time.

"Don't understand? I'm not bragging, but there are very few things I don't understand..."

My brother, who had not taken my words seriously at first, suddenly met my eyes.

I must have made an expression I don't normally make. Otherwise, he wouldn't have been stunned.

"I'm...I'm sorry. Did I...say something wrong?"

He asked me nervously, "Are you concerned or just frightened?"

It seems like there are things I don't understand...

He hesitated for a moment, then reached out his hand, as if wanting to touch my head, but I took a step back and dodged.

"..."

"Stupid brother! You know everything!"

After saying this, I left his house and ran straight to my own home.

......................

Since then, I don’t know why, but I never went to my brother to listen to his teachings or ask him questions about the lessons he didn’t understand.

But even without anyone to talk to, life was still a bit lonely. Even my parents noticed that there seemed to be some conflict between my brother and me, and they asked him about it personally.

But even though he came to my house to apologize in person after that, I didn't say anything and still didn't go to see him like I did before.

This went on for about half a month.

Then my parents had to go on a business trip, so I ended up staying at my brother's house...though I still didn't talk to him.

But in the mornings, we inevitably had to walk together for a while on our way to school... We just walked together in a dull manner, without any conversation. I think he must have felt quite awkward, too.

But no one said it out loud.

...................

Just a day like any other.

Walk towards your seat under some people's unfriendly gazes, and then first check if there are any thumbtacks, dust, glue or anything like that on the stool.

By the way, because I know that they only use those few methods, I always take my things away after school. They have no chance to retaliate against me by damaging my things. The most they can do is incite others not to approach me.

It's little things like this, you just get used to it.

Just as I finished checking the stools and sat down, I suddenly realized that I forgot to bring my own lunch box... Because I told my brother's mother that I wanted to eat her cooking today, so she made it specially for my brother and me, but I seem to have forgotten it when I left today...

Ah, there is no other way. I can only eat bread at noon because the food in the cafeteria is not to my taste.

However, as it was approaching dinner time, I was sitting by the window and daydreaming when I was suddenly startled by a noise coming from the table.

It was the sound of something hard hitting the table... It sounded like someone threw something on my table.

Just when I was about to get angry, I suddenly realized that it was my lunch box.

...What? Did someone send it to you?

I don't know who handed it to me, but I'd like to thank that guy anyway.

Thinking of this, I prepared to open the lunch box.

Just then, I heard a slight laugh... A bad premonition immediately came to my mind, and I hurriedly opened the lunch box, only to find that it was empty and even filled with soil.

"Hahaha, thank you for the treat!"

"It tastes really good, but it would be better if there was a little more meat."

"Yeah... And the person who brought you food wasn't your brother, was he? Wow, that really scared me at the time. Doesn't that guy know how to communicate with others?"

"Yeah, yeah, that look is really scary."

"Don't be angry, at least we have prepared other things for you. You can eat dirt instead."

"Hahaha..."

I was amazed that I didn't throw my lunch box at them or hit them with a stool.

Perhaps he has realized that doing so will not help.

Besides...no one will care.

After class, I had no appetite anymore, so I went to find a faucet to wash my lunch box.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Hey."

After school, an unexpected person showed up.

No...he should have shown up. My brother was waiting for me at the door and greeted me.

"...Why are you here? Never mind, let's go back together."

Actually, I was a little worried that he would meet those people, so I wanted to urge him to leave quickly.

"Yeah." He nodded.

"By the way, do you think today's meal is delicious?" he asked me.

"Mm, it tastes pretty good~ but I think there could be more meat."

Ah... saying these words always makes me feel a little... pathetic.

"..."

But the older brother had an angry expression on his face.

"Brother...what's wrong with you?" I felt something was wrong.

"There's no meat in the side dishes today," he said coldly.

"Ah...but..."

"That's something my mom makes with tofu. It looks similar, but it doesn't taste like meat at all. It's understandable that others can't tell the difference..." He looked at me, "But haven't you been eating it frequently at our house these past few days? And the first time you said 'I got tricked', there's no way you'll forget that."

"..."

I don't know how to explain this...

"Is it them? They ate the meal I sent you without your permission...right?" He seemed very excited. "Have you had lunch...Did you feel hungry all afternoon?"

"No...well...it's all over. We'd better go home quickly." I looked inside the school gate and saw those guys walking towards the gate together.

"Tell me who did it."

He ignored me.

"There are a lot of them here, and...if you act impulsively...I might not be able to attend school properly."

"..."

When he heard what I said, his anger seemed to subside.

"I see... That's right... Sorry, I was so angry just now that I didn't think of that..." He smiled bitterly, "But is this really okay..."

"It's okay..."

Before I could finish my words, I heard the voices of those guys behind me.

"Hey, isn't this Sister Ye? What are you doing here so late?"

...these blind guys...

"Oh, even your brother is here."

"Nice to meet you again. Do you still need me to bring you food? I haven't eaten enough yet, haha."

"Well, I have to say that rice is really..."

However, before they finished speaking, I noticed that the brother next to me was gone.

"I'm going to Harmony!"

As he said this, the brother punched one of the men in the face.

I don’t know if it’s because of the age difference, but in my opinion, this guy who has no fighting ability at all actually beat up these bitches, and judging by his posture... it seems like this is not his first fight.

"I really can't see through you..."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

After being stopped by passers-by, security guards at the door, and teachers who came after hearing the news, I explained the situation to my brother who was not seriously injured, and then contacted their parents to send those guys to a nearby clinic.

"Although your intentions are good, how can a senior like you bully the weak?"

Faced with the questions from our principal, my brother, who had not been attending our school for a long time, was of course not afraid at all.

"Because they bullied the weak first, I was just upholding justice. Besides, they were outnumbered, so I didn't take advantage of them."

Although it sounds good, it is still useless.

In the end, I contacted my brother's school, and it seems that he was given a demerit... That's fine.