I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"The girl I like..."

"Ah... so there really isn't one? That's really troubling... Really, we're already high school students, but we still need to think about it..."

"No, I didn't say no."

“…”

Lu Yunzi, who originally thought he was stable, fell silent in an instant.

"Come to think of it... there is one... but I wouldn't say I like him, right?"

"Eh? Is it a secret crush?" Although she was not very happy in her heart, she still couldn't suppress her curiosity... maybe it was the gossip mentality at work.

"No...it's stronger than you said...it's not an exaggeration to say I'm obsessed with it."

"......"

Because the message was too direct, she was completely unable to react for a moment.

Obsessed...obsessed? Is this true? Ah Hao doesn't look like someone who would do such a thing.

"But I guess we won't meet again...her and I."

"...Why?"

I feel like I shouldn't ask any further, but...if I don't find out...it will be very uncomfortable.

"I don't know either..." He looked at Yun Zi with a wry smile.

“Maybe I just don’t understand her.”

The human heart is unpredictable

"that..."

That was someone I had never been close to, nor had I ever thought of being close to, but he spoke to me somewhat abruptly.

"Can I take a look?"

She leaned her face toward me as if to ask.

"What?"

I didn't know how to react for a moment, and just looked at her clear eyes quietly, shining softly in the sunlight.

What a nice view...

For the first time, I realized that there were people around me who could attract my attention.

"The composition the teacher read today, was it written by you?" he confirmed to me.

"Oh... yeah, I can..." And I did write it, but I don't think it's anything special.

The teacher used it as a model essay probably because no one else wrote it seriously.

I took out my composition book, and she snatched it away from me.

"Ah..." I was a little afraid that she would tear my notebook... It's just a personal habit. I take better care of paper things.

However, she ignored me and quickly opened it to read.

"..."

For some reason, I feel a little nervous.

"As expected..." she muttered to herself, then nodded to herself.

"Wha...what?"

"Although it's well-written, it's in the style of another author, and the imitation is quite immature." She smiled at me. "Who told you to imitate him? If it was someone else, I probably wouldn't recognize it."

"..."

The person in front of me is very powerful.

"But you should also try to find works I haven't read to imitate. I'm not showing off, I've read a lot of books, and it's not easy for me to not notice."

"...Is...Is that so? But doesn't that contradict what you just said?" You just said it wouldn't be noticeable if someone else changed, and now you're saying...

"Those two sentences are unrelated! Don't try to understand them together. This is a tactic, understand?"

"...I've never heard of such a method."

"Hmm..." A hint of embarrassment appeared on her face. "That's... that's your own fault. You're still far from perfect at writing! You still need to learn!"

"...oh..."

That's true... After all, I have read very few books, so I can only learn and apply what I have read.

"So..." She looked at me seriously, "You should learn how to write from me."

"well?"

Although I had never thought about investing energy in writing before, after hearing these words that sounded like an order, I suddenly realized what I wanted to do.

I want to...write a successful work.

Then...

Chapter 15: The human heart is hard to predict

"Anyway, since you called me here, you have to be responsible for me." After saying this, I swallowed a big mouthful of ice cream.

"...Isn't this harassment?" Lin Quanchuan's tone was full of disgust.

"Oh no...you still care about this..." I thought this guy would be indifferent to any situation.

"How can I not care about someone like you?"

...Hmm...? I always feel that this sentence is ambiguous. Is it my illusion?

"Really? I think I'm a guy that not many people care about." After all, I can only name a few of my good friends now.

"Yes, you are." She supported her face with one hand, "But to be fair... once you care about someone, you can't let it go easily... Humph... Forget it, there's no point in telling you."

"..."

That's not polite. At least finish what you're saying.

"If you don't want to talk about it, forget it..."

I sighed, and although it felt like it was out of habit at the time, the reason suddenly occurred to me.

In my impression, I seem to be a...useless guy, a guy who, no matter what you say to me, nothing will change.

"Do you think I'm useless?"

"Oh, you're asking even though you already know the answer."

"...Well."

..................

I never had any fantasy, but since then, I have wanted so badly to acquire a skill.

"What the hell is this?!"

"Why have you become like this?! I can't talk to you properly anymore!"

"You don't understand what I'm thinking at all!"

These words kept echoing in my ears, but I didn't know why she said them so excitedly.

If only I could understand people’s hearts.

In this way, I will know what to say and what not to say... I must have said something wrong... But after careful thinking, I still couldn't find the answer.

So...it would be nice to be able to understand people's hearts, then maybe I can know what you really think of me.

I don’t understand, I really don’t understand.

As you said...

But I really want to understand you and know you, just to stay by your side.

Looking at your serious eyes, looking at your smile as if you are teasing me, looking at your narrowed eyes when you are arrogant, looking at your smile as if your prank is successful.

...I never thought you would look sad.

What were you feeling when you said that to me? It was clearly an angry word, but tears welled up in your eyes.

Is he sad? It couldn't be for any other reason.

But why...how did it happen...

If it's my fault, why don't you tell me why...

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Is she beautiful?" Lu Yunzi asked somewhat unwillingly.

"Beautiful, at least that's how I see her."

Without hesitation, Sun Hao expressed his opinion.

"Really..." Lu Yunzi felt a little unhappy, but he also felt that it was a bit ridiculous to do this for someone he didn't even know.

It’s so annoying... Lu Yunzi felt confused.

"Although many years have passed, her figure is still engraved in my mind and I will never forget it...even if..." Sun Hao seemed to realize something and did not continue.

"Even what?"

"...nothing."

Lu Yunzi didn't ask any more questions. She knew she couldn't ask any more questions, otherwise Sun Hao might dislike her.

"So... do you want to see her?"

“…”

After a moment's silence, he spoke.

"Of course I do, but I'm sure she doesn't want to see me."

"Has there been a conflict?"

"I guess so... Let's not talk about it anymore..." Sun Hao ended the topic on his own, "It's all in the past."

.................

Although I have always maintained a condescending attitude, pointing out your shortcomings here and there, and sometimes laughing at the childishness in your writing style.

But...I actually envy you.

You have talents far greater than mine.

Your understanding of words far exceeds mine... I felt it from the very beginning, because you can accurately find an author's style and then imitate it accurately, although this imitation is a bit childish due to your age.

But, I saw it.

As you age, you change as well, and your writing style changes as well.

I have always seen your changes and I have always been happy for your changes.

But this joy did not last long.

How many books have you read? Why can't I see where your style comes from?

After a while, I suddenly realized this problem.

Have I finally read a book I haven’t seen before?

Or... have you already transformed simple imitation into absorption, forming your own style...

Should I be happy for you, or sad for myself?

In that case, I have no reason to talk to you... I don't know how to respond to your smiling face asking for advice.

I have always been looking for other people's styles in your writing, and then pointing them out to you to correct them.

I never thought that there would be a day when I couldn't find it.

What an irony.