I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

Looks familiar...ah...it seems like the time when they were misunderstood a long time ago. Xiaoye and Liu Yan had met once, but they never met again after that.

"Well, that lewd boy is my classmate, his name is Liu Yan, and the girl who looks like she was molested is his childhood sweetheart, her name is Mu Linyou. We usually call her Xiaoyou... You may not believe it, but Xiaoyou has a crush on Liu Yan, so I think this situation must have happened on purpose."

So, since they have had physical contact, Xiaoyou can use this to tie up that stupid guy Liu Yan. You even touched someone's back and you still want to be irresponsible?

It seems that Xiaoyou is surprisingly capable...

"Then let's not disturb them, shall we?" Xiaoye whispered to me.

"Hmm..." I nodded.

And I also noticed that the others were not there, probably to create space for them... Could it be that everyone has transformed into a King of Glory support?

"Then let's go find someone else."

I don’t know if Rinquanchuan is still in that store.

............................

"Why are you here alone? Where are the others?"

Because he was tired of playing alone, Lingcan planned to buy some drinks, but he saw Rinquanchuan who was also alone.

"...Who knows..."

Faced with the indifferent Rinquanchuan, Lingcan did not choose to leave, but sat next to her.

“…”

However, Rinquanchuan looked at her with a slightly unhappy look.

"Don't be so stingy. I'm a guest too. It's perfectly reasonable for me to sit next to you."

"...Hmph...whatever you want."

Because he felt it was inappropriate to get up and leave at this time, Rinquanchuan did not get up for the time being, even though he had already finished eating the shaved ice.

"Come to think of it, we haven't played games in a long time."

Out of the blue, Ling Can suddenly brought up this topic.

"...You're going to lose anyway, so what's the point of not playing?"

When it comes to the game, Rinquanchuan is as confident as ever.

"...But you didn't participate in this game." Ling Can said with a smile, then took a sip of the drink that had just been brought to him.

An unusually familiar feeling.

This way of speaking is so familiar...

Rinquanchuan was slightly surprised and realized that this was the way that girl spoke... But how could she say such a thing? She was clearly a girl who used to say such a thing... No, that's not right. It has been a long time since I heard her say such a thing.

"......"

What's wrong with her?

Looking at Lingcan with a calm expression, Rinquanchuan had doubts in his mind.

"Oh, you must be wondering, 'Why is this beautiful girl so eloquent?'"

“…No.”

Isn’t this statement too narcissistic?

"The reason is actually very simple."

"......"

"Everyone changes over time." She pointed at herself, then at Rinquanchuan who was staring at her, "You and I both change."

............................

I've lost a lot of things.

Everything I hold dear will vanish without exception.

My favorite specimen disappeared.

A hobby I cherished was gone.

The comics I loved disappeared.

My beloved pet disappeared.

My favorite thoughts disappeared.

I threw away the worthless specimens under my parents' scolding, tore up my clumsy paintings under the ridicule of others, gave away my comics under the criticism of my teacher, threw away the stray cat I picked up under my parents' rejection, and under self-denial... I abandoned the idea that I wanted to carry out throughout my life.

To others, this may seem like a trivial matter.

However, that depends on how serious the situation is that each person can bear...I'm not a strong person.

It was only after I met that person that I realized that my aching heart had been healed.

but...

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Have you read any good books? When I think back to your writing, it gives me a sense of calmness, even though it's not a very orthodox literary novel."

Xiaoye suddenly asked me this.

Maybe he was looking for a topic. After all, it would be quite awkward for two people not to talk to each other...but I didn't want to deliberately look for a topic.

"A good book..."

Although I do read quite a few books, if I were to say what my favorite is...

"............."

What was that just now?

I can’t remember... I feel like I already have the answer in my heart, but... what is it?

"Great books... I've read so many books... it seems hard to compare them."

I lied again... Well, never mind, no one will know anyway.

"Then I asked the wrong question... Hmm... So, what's the most impressive book for you?"

"The one that left the deepest impression on me... is definitely Lovecraft's 'Call of Cthulhu'."

"Oh... what is the content? I heard it should be very scary? I heard it is also a mythological system..." Xiaoye seemed very interested.

"I haven't read it. I only said that because you said it was very impressive. After all, you've memorized it without even reading it."

In fact, the main reason is that I learned about C'Thun and Cthulhu because of "Whispers of the Old Gods"... Oh, the feeling is really subtle.

"...I always feel that your answer is perfunctory."

“…I don’t think so.” It’s an indescribable feeling.

"Even though I haven't read the book, I always feel... that the word 'calling' is very familiar, as if someone is calling me from an unknown place."

"Don't scare me..."

"Ah ha ha..."

......................

"Oh, that's a shame. I don't really understand this kind of topic."

"...That's because it hasn't happened to you yet."

Lingcan did not give much explanation for Rinquanchuan's rebuttal.

"Yeah."

"Some things are hard to express in words, and even if they are said, people may not fully understand them, so the best way is to let the person encounter them themselves." Ling Can had finished all his drinks and stood up from his seat.

"Okay, that's all I have to say... My altar isn't finished yet."

"...Are you a child?"

"No, I'm Troyana Lingcan, a genius mage who combines beauty and wisdom. I'm a member of the Ilingcan Chanting Group."

"..."

Sure enough, not much has changed.

"Besides, this is the seaside. We might actually be able to summon some evil god with tentacles hiding in the seabed. Don't be too surprised when that happens."

After saying that, he ran away quickly.

"...Fool."

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"Speaking of which, do you know this story? A young man came to a seemingly abandoned seaport and was surprised to find that the residents there were all fishmen with strange faces. Don't you think it's very similar to the current environment?"

Sun Hao spoke to Lu Yunzi with some excitement.

Although it is good to actively find topics to talk about, this topic is obviously not suitable for now, right?

"...Why are you telling me this?" Lu Yunzi was obviously not interested in this story, and even felt a little disgusted.

"It just seemed like it was about the sea, and then it suddenly occurred to me... marine life and all that. The thought of it immediately brought to mind the deep seabed and the mysterious creatures."

"..."

This... I can't respond to this. Lu Yunzi chose to remain silent.

"The story I just told you comes from 'The Shadow Over Innsmouth' by HP Lovecraft, the horror novelist and founder of the Cthulhu Mythos."

"Um...So?"

"Actually, the scary atmosphere and all that isn't important... I think the ending is what really matters to me."

"...What's the ending?"

"You should go and see for yourself..." Sun Hao said to her with a smile, "Then you will realize that sometimes... we are not what we think we are."

. . . . . . . . . .

The conversation still needs to be serious

Man is blind.

To be precise, people don't think what they do is wrong... This self-righteous mentality is everywhere. It's precisely because of blindness that they ignore their own stupidity.

Perhaps blindness is the source of happiness, otherwise many people would realize how pathetic they are.

It is also impossible to know oneself.

The human body and the mind are separate, I can conclude.

For example, humans have a lot of potential, but under normal circumstances they cannot use it. No matter how strong your desire is, there will be no significant changes in your body.

However, if you are in danger, your body will unconsciously trigger the instinct to survive.

So...when instinctively protecting one's body, one may sacrifice part of one's spirit.

So... we all can't know exactly what we are thinking or whether what we do is voluntary.

I have also been thinking about the meaning of my existence.

It’s really troublesome... I can use unimportant things to numb myself and stop myself from thinking about these messy and slightly heavy things.

But I still couldn't control myself.

Am I being hypocritical? Am I taking my own affairs too seriously?

I think...it's not like that. I'm in pain. It's just like this, but I can't tell anyone.

Others won’t understand, and I don’t want them to understand.

Fortunately, I see more clearly than those blind people, although I can only see a little more clearly...but it is enough.

I am destined to be unhappy.

Chapter 13: The dialogue still needs to be spoken seriously