I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

When I am daydreaming in my room, I will also look out the window.

...This feeling...isn't something that comes naturally; it's more like a habit...But why does it exist? Not only is it easy for the teacher to notice, but it doesn't seem to have any special meaning...

I always feel... so weird.

People like me shouldn't do meaningless things.

If the purpose of daydreaming is to kill time, then looking out the window while daydreaming...

"Sheji! Hey~"

A familiar voice suddenly came from outside the window.

"Sheji~Come out and play!"

Very...very familiar...

As shown in the figure, the body met the reflex conditions and suddenly stood up and looked out the window.

That's right... I looked out the window just for this... to see this figure.

That's a familiar figure...it's her...

"Don't stay in the classroom~"

"Can we come out and play?"

She asked me this, as if it took a lot of effort to shout to me.

"Of course...

I responded to her through the window, which also took quite a bit of effort... but I felt very happy.

Her smile... was just as I remembered.

Then, she would frown and start urging me:

"If you don't come soon, I'm leaving!"

"Then come down quickly."

I'm waiting for you, why should I let you go? Wait for me a little longer... I'll be downstairs to find you soon.

I also followed the usual practice of leaving her words.

"I'll be right there! Wait a moment longer for me... Dream..."

It was as if it was just a dream, and I felt myself suddenly wake up.

Wait...wait a minute.

What did I just say?

dream?

What is this? A name? A nickname? Is this her? Is this the one I created? Impossible...

I looked towards the figure to confirm again.

The black ponytail, the sportswear, the slightly short shorts, and that smile... this is clearly Ye Hui.

"What's wrong? What are you daydreaming about? Xiaolin and the others are looking for you too."

Yehui shouted at me again and waved to me.

"Um...I'm going down."

An inexplicable sadness and disappointment flooded my heart.

Without saying anything else, I turned around and prepared to go downstairs.

.................

"Sheji, you're a little slow..." Yehui spoke to me when I was still some distance away from her, "Well, it's almost noon. If you don't have lunch, don't go to the cafeteria. I've prepared it..."

"Nightlight."

I interrupted her.

"Huh? What's wrong?" She looked at me strangely.

"I...just realized..."

"Hmm?" Her eyes grew more confused. "Realized what?"

"...I...maybe"

"Oh, here you are! Captain Rin, hurry up and catch up!"

Lingcan's energetic voice suddenly interrupted me.

"Ah... So you are here." Lin Quanchuan saw me and just said this lightly, without saying anything bad, and seemed to have restrained her bad mouth... I feel like she is quite amazing.

"I'm hungry. Let's go eat together." Lingcan seemed a little impatient. "I even found a place to eat together. It's all my fault for running around after the Sheji game."

Faced with such words...how should I react?

"Yeah...it's not too late, let's go together." Ye Hui looked at me and said, "It will be very troublesome if someone else takes it."

"..."I wanted to say something, but suddenly I didn't know how to organize my words.

Eat with them... Well... I'm already hungry, but...

"I'm sorry, I...I might...have some things I need to figure out."

.............

The first person to react after hearing this was Ling Can.

"Ah? What's more important than eating? Could it be that you're a loser... ahem, Sheji, are you going to save the world?" Ling Can began to guess.

"Yes, even if it's a very urgent matter... it's not too late to deal with it after dinner..." Ye Hui also advised me this.

I glanced at the lunch boxes she was holding... There were two of them, so it looked like they were for me. How happy I was... However, if that scene hadn't just happened to me, I might have actually gone to dinner with you guys and then enjoyed the leisurely time afterward.

What a pity...I really care about her more.

"..."

How should I...explain it...If I say it out loud, I'll probably think it's insignificant...I'll probably find some excuse to give myself some time off, and then maybe I'll forget it again.

I just want to...solve the problem before I forget it.

"Well, this is a very important question."

Lin Quanchuan still asked me coldly, I don’t know if it was because I was silent for a long time.

"Well...if we don't figure it out...it could get serious, deep down inside me."

In the end it's still my own problem...

"So what is it..."

"That's enough." Rinquanchuan interrupted Lingcan's questioning, "Do you know what you are going to do?"

"Yeah, I thought about it when I went downstairs just now."

"..." Rinquanchuan's face revealed a helpless expression. "You may sound cool, but...are you so inconsiderate..."

"That...Xiao Lin..." Ye Hui seemed to be still thinking about how to persuade me to stay.

"It's okay. Since he's in trouble, it's better for us not to interfere." He turned around and said, "Leave him alone."

"...That...is it really important?" Ling Can asked again.

"Um."

"...Okay then." She stood on tiptoe and punched me in the chest. "Come on!"

"Ahh... Xiao Ling, why are you also..."

Ye Hui seemed very surprised by their performance.

"Well... I'm leaving now. If everything goes well... I'll see you after school."

I said this to Yehui...but maybe I was talking to all three of them.

...............

"Please...take a leave?"

Brother Nan, who was sitting in the office with his bowl of rice in his hand, expressed doubts about my request.

"Are you...hurt?"

She said as she looked me over.

"Well...of course not..." I told the truth.

"I was saying, just a moment ago I saw you full of life, and now you're injured... What happened? If you're talking about taking a leave to go home for dinner or something, forget about it now."

"That's not the case..."

Why am I thought of in such a perverse way?

"...What the hell is that?"

"...I...want to take a leave and go to the elementary school I used to attend."

"puff!"

. . . . . . . .

It’s hard to imagine the usually serious Brother Nan choking while eating... In short, I think taking a photo will have great collection value.

"...Although I didn't believe it before." Brother Nan suppressed his cough and pushed the bowl aside, "But...what you just said makes me feel that it was a mistake to leave Ling Shen to your care..."

"What strange thing have you misunderstood..."

I just said I was going to the elementary school! Is that weird?

"...I'm not saying anything, it's clearly lunchtime, and you're coming to me to ask for leave, and to go to the elementary school...and the school is still in the afternoon, what else can I do?"

"...While I think it makes sense, I'm here to find my old teacher..."

I explained to Brother Nan.

"Looking for the teacher... do you want to ask something?"

Guessed it?...

"Hmm..." I nodded.

"I can't go into detail, but that's been bothering me for a long time. If I don't resolve it now..."

"...Are you sure you can contact your former homeroom teacher?"

Brother Nan interrupted me.

"It shouldn't be difficult... I should still be teaching in the next few years." I had never thought about this problem before.

"..."

Brother Nan glanced at me, took out a note from the drawer, and handed it to me along with a pen. "Write the reason properly. Also, if you can't find it, come back immediately."

"...Um."

I have a feeling that this time there will be results.

It's not a love, it's a habit

My world was once just a dark place.

Alone in this small corner of the world, I watched with some worry... the world called "school".

I don’t know how to get along with the so-called “classmates” around me, I don’t know how to talk to the so-called “teachers”, I don’t know what the so-called “school” is, and I don’t know what the so-called “answer” is after being asked a question.

But I know... what 'ridicule' is.

As if to provide others with a reference, I am often asked questions by so-called teachers.

And then... silence.

Maybe it's because I'm used to this kind of thing. Even if I know the answer to a question, I will remain silent, pretend not to see the teacher's disappointed expression, and pretend not to hear the laughter of my so-called classmates.