I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"Is this really all right?" "You don't look like you can sing..."

The members were discussing about Rinsen River.

"That...Sheji." Jiayin appeared in front of me, with her head slightly lowered, and there seemed to be a flicker of depression in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Jiayin... I... I have my reasons..."

"It's okay." She raised her head and smiled, "I know that everything you do has a reason..."

“Is… is that so…”

I clenched my fists...

I hate myself for being like this... To be more precise, I hate myself for doing things with reasons and then making others feel bad.

"Don't mind, we are..." Jiayin seemed to want to say something, but was suddenly interrupted by the sound of electric guitar accompaniment coming from the activity room.

The members also stopped immediately, and at this moment, the singing of Rinsenchuan sounded.

................

“That’s…that’s amazing…”

"No way... Is that person really from the Tea Ceremony Club? Are you sure he's never been in the music club?"

“Now our show is even more powerful…”

The members commented on Rinsengawa's vanished singing voice.

"Rinsenchuan's singing is pretty good, right?" I said to Kanon in front of me while looking at the members' reactions, but I didn't hear any response.

"...Good news?"

I looked at Jiayin who was standing in front of me. Her eyes were a little empty, and she had a thoughtful expression, not knowing what she was thinking.

"Um..." I raised my voice a little.

"Oh, I was distracted." She suddenly reacted and smiled at me with a somewhat uneasy look.

"She's amazing...Rinsenkawa..."

There was a hint of loss in his eyes.

"Well, actually, Kanon, you're pretty good too..."

"Well... Thank you... Sheji..." She looked at the members who entered the activity room one after another, "But, Rinquanchuan doesn't have any special training..."

After saying that, he looked at me with a look that I can't describe.

That look... why does he still have such a gentle expression... I wouldn't mind if you were angry... but that look... is that what it means? The kind that recognizes talent and hard work... and yet can't complain...

“…” I didn’t know how to respond.

"Okay, you should still be going to the drama club, right? Go quickly. Don't worry about what happens next. We will take good care of Rinquanchuan."

“...Ah...That’s true..." I glanced at the door of the activity room with some concern.

"Then I'll leave it to you. This girl has a bad temper and is quite shy. You should be more tolerant when dealing with her..."

Suddenly I noticed a smile on Jiayin's face.

"What...what happened?"

I didn't say anything weird...

"Sheji, you are still the same, caring about those you are worried about."

“...........” I opened my mouth, but didn’t know what to say.

"This is the Sheji I know..." Jiayin said and turned away, "Goodbye then~"

"Ah..." I waved at her and watched her enter the music club's activity room.

Really...really...I'm completely different from the me you remember...right?

【True Title】

I have a lot to ask you... a lot.

That "close friend" in the music club you mentioned, is that me? Or is it that Rinsenkawa you brought here today...

All the things you've done for me, whether it's helping me change or standing up for me...was it simply because you were worried about me as a classmate, or was it...

I don’t understand…and I don’t want to understand.

You should still be the Sheji that I know... Even if you are decadent, even if you don't have many friends, despite this, you are still the Sheji who will work hard, right?

....The cultural exhibition is coming soon...I will definitely clarify those issues with you personally.

And then...what else can we do?

Expectations for tomorrow

Here we go again... the unpleasantly lively atmosphere.

The lively atmosphere before the cultural exhibition, which had lasted for two months, finally reached its climax at this time.

Tomorrow is the official start of the cultural exhibition, which will last for two days. The last day happens to be Christmas Eve, so I can stay until the early morning of the next day to go home.

In short, it was a very tiring activity...at least it was very tiring for me.

"Here."

I was in a daze when suddenly an object appeared in front of me, as well as the voice of squad leader Lin Yi.

"what..."

I came back to my senses and looked at the object. It was the completed class magazine.

"Not interested? This is the result of your hard work reviewing. I'll give you a copy to read." He placed the book on my desk and said, "It's free~"

"Are you planning to charge money?"

I looked at the monitor helplessly and started to ask back.

"Ah...after all, we're using class fees to print it...it would be great if we could just price it lower and make back the money. If that doesn't work, we could just give it away for free."

"How casual is this..."

I don't understand your thought process.

"Don't say that. This is something we all created together. It's great that other people can see it."

My aspirations are really low... Never mind. After all, the higher the requirements, the greater the disappointment. It’s good to have such an idea.

Could it be that I was the one who influenced you?

"Then take your time to look at it. I have something else to do." He said as he was about to turn around.

"Ah... okay..." I responded and watched her walk out of the classroom.

"Since we already know the content...it doesn't matter whether we read it or not..." I muttered quietly, but I didn't let her hear it because it would be troublesome.

"......"

Out of boredom, I glanced at the publications on the table.

It’s actually a comic-style cover...but I have to say, it’s pretty well drawn.

Chapter 31: Anticipation for Tomorrow

"How do you feel? Are you ready to go on stage?"

I asked Rinzenkawa, who had been heading to the music club after school for several days.

"Oh, thank goodness... the melody and lyrics are pretty good, otherwise I really wouldn't have participated."

"Huh..." I scratched my cheek.

In fact, I had already asked Liu Yan to tell Mo Xiaozhi and the others not to tell Lin Quanchuan about the fact that I wrote the lyrics... As for the reason... I don't know myself, but I just don't want Lin Quanchuan to know... It's inexplicable.

"Anyway, do your best. I remember your performance was supposed to be the finale, right? On the last night, right?"

"Well... since you already know this, don't ask me." He looked impatient again... Did he disturb her reading again?

"Oh, sorry..."

"Heh..." Lin Quanchuan didn't say anything else.

...Or, it's better not to take it to heart.

.................

"It's going to start tomorrow, the cultural exhibition."

Jiayin's voice came from behind.

"yes..."

I turned around and looked at her, she still had the same expression... calm but expectant of something.

I can't help but compare this expression with the one I showed yesterday... Are they both real expressions, or...

"Everyone has worked hard during this period, so we must have a good result." Jiayin said to me with a smile.

"Nothing bad can come of this kind of activity..."

Are you still worried that no one will come to see you? There are quite a lot of idle people in this school, so there is no need to worry at all.

"That's right."

"Ah..." I suddenly remembered something and took out the class publication, "Want to see it? That class publication..."

"Is it printed? It looks good..." She took the book from me, "Ah, the foreword was written by you, Sheji..."

"Yeah...it took quite a bit of effort..."

I'm a bit shy when someone mentions it to my face...

"It's written...very well..." Jiayin said, without taking her eyes off the book.

"Really? That's good..."

"True love..." Jiayin seemed to be somewhat touched by the word, "Has Sheji ever shown true love to anyone?"

"Ah?" This sudden statement is really difficult to answer.

"Well, I was just kidding. No need to answer."

After saying that, he smiled.

"Hmm...well..."

I don't think this is a joke...

"Time flies by so fast...before I knew it..." Jiayin smiled, "It's time to say goodbye again."

"Ah..." When I heard this, I suddenly realized that Jiayin and I were no longer classmates in the same school.

Yes... After the cultural exhibition, Jiayin will leave...

"Jia..." I looked up at her and suddenly interrupted myself.

What do I want to say at this moment?

"Hmm?" Jiayin asked with a questioning look, "What's wrong?"

"Ah...it's okay."

I scratched my cheek and looked out the window.

................

"The cultural exhibition is tomorrow!"

"You're the second person to say that to me today."

I said to Liu Yan who still looked excited.

"Alas... I'm not number one, what a pity..."

I don't understand what you regret...