The cycle begins to repeat itself today.

Doing such things is bad; that's common sense telling me, and my common sense is the same as most people's, so I don't need to change it. I shouldn't do bad things. I didn't have a proper rebellious phase; I'm afraid that rebellion might cause my relationships at home to go from indifference to complete breakdown. I know I don't have the corresponding dreams or the ability to survive; living under someone else's roof is my best option.

The best outcome, of course, is to live under the protection of my biological parents. Maintaining this is a necessity for survival, and I will likely remain in this state for quite some time to come. A rebellious phase was no longer an option for me once I understood these things; it wasn't even a pipe dream. I never longed for anything like that.

My ultimate goal and principle is to do what normal people do, avoid doing bad things, and live a peaceful and stable life. If someone says that high-intensity pressure can change a person, then as things stand, the pressure I am currently under is far from reaching that level.

As usual, I went inside the cafeteria, randomly chose a window with a shorter queue, and then found an empty seat next to me to eat. I wouldn't bother anyone, and no one would bother me; this indifference was paradise for me, and I was completely satisfied.

Having spent the entire morning observing others, I've become somewhat accustomed to observing their behavior, and this action is being performed once again at this moment. As I eat my food, I look around at the people. The usual noise, the chaotic sounds, the perpetually unordered nature of the place, the crowded throngs, the conversations—some joyful, some abusive—the space is filled with all sorts of noise.

Human beings' social nature brings its sociality, but it is also filled with disorder and chaos. People must be on the same semantic level to understand the accurate information conveyed by each other's language and achieve the so-called mutual understanding. But unfortunately, I am not a member of any of these circles. Their conversations are to me no different from the chaotic sound of a closed-circuit television without a signal, extremely noisy and meaningless.

I quickened my pace, eager to escape this space as soon as possible. After finishing the remaining food, I returned the plate and chopsticks and left the noisy place. Perhaps because the outside space was more spacious, the irritating noise lessened considerably.

I walked towards the convenience store near the cafeteria and bought a bottle of water. The cool touch of the water, fresh from the refrigerator, made me feel much more refreshed on this hot summer day. As I was about to return to the classroom, I looked up in the direction of the teaching building.

Coincidentally, the senior high school building is a standalone structure, very close to the cafeteria and convenience store, which is a good thing for students who want to eat as soon as possible after school. And from where the convenience store is located, you can see the side of the senior high school building.

Looking up along the side wall, there was a vast blue sky with a few floating clouds... and a figure that seemed somewhat familiar.

Chapter Ten: The Illusion of the Afternoon

Seeing Ye Yuqing standing on the top floor of the teaching building, I wondered if I was seeing things, so I blinked and checked again.

My eyesight isn't bad; while it's not significantly different from the average person, it's not to the point where I need glasses to see the blackboard. Compared to my classmates, my eyesight should indeed be considered quite good. But after confirming that the person I saw was indeed Ye Yuqing, I had a question. What was she doing? At this time, and on the roof of the teaching building. And, is it even possible to get up there?

While it's rare for senior high school students to commit suicide due to unbearable pressure at our school, it's not entirely unheard of. It's certainly a very serious matter, but when this situation becomes widespread across all high schools, it seems less significant. Moreover, many parents are probably gambling—gambling that their children can withstand such pressure and succeed. They have no choice but to gamble, because other children are gambling, and if they don't, they'll lose.

Furthermore, while the impact of these issues may be somewhat underestimated, schools are not entirely without means of control. The high-rise teaching buildings are surrounded by fairly high walls from the first floor to the top floor, and there are also iron bars inside the classrooms, making the classrooms more like prisons than classrooms. Although this serves a purpose of preventing theft, is it really necessary to place such things on every floor for theft prevention? I think it's just a cover-up.

In a school where even the lower floors are under strict control, is it really permissible to allow students to go up to places where, even without intentional suicide, there is a very high risk of accidents?

I've never gone up there. Although our classroom should be the closest to the entrance, I don't see the need to go up. And not doing anything unnecessary is something I've always insisted on.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to get up there.

As I checked on her, I had a feeling, or maybe it was just my imagination, that she was looking at me too. She was looking down at me, and seemed quite pleased, waving in my direction with that expression.

I didn't interpret this as a greeting, because the conditions for this to actually happen weren't met at all. I was inclined to think she was making that gesture towards someone nearby, glancing back slightly to check her surroundings. But unfortunately, I didn't have the ability to spot a specific target in such a large crowd. I turned around but didn't find what I was looking for. The person she was greeting was probably hidden in the crowd, somewhere I couldn't see.

Although I didn't find out where her actions were directed, I did notice something else strange.

The area around the convenience store is a relatively open space with a very high volume of foot traffic. To facilitate movement, the only work done in the past two years has been leveling the concrete surface; adding benches or similar structures was clearly never considered. With such a large flow of people, what practical use could one or two benches possibly have? It's easy to see. Instead of wasting money on such pointless things, it would be better to use the money for staff salaries or school renovations.

However, even in this open space, Ye Yuqing, standing alone on the roof of the teaching building waving, should have been a relatively conspicuous presence in my field of vision. Moreover, the teaching building isn't very tall, only three stories, and with the roof, it's only four stories. It's impossible that I was the only one who could see her, and it's even more impossible that no one else was looking up at that spot. Was her presence really that insignificant?

Even someone like me, who isn't good at observing things, could see her; there's no reason why no one around could. Perhaps it's just a coincidence? Did I see her when I looked up at the sky? We can't completely rule out that possibility.

But if that's the case, would the person she's waving at be able to see her? Or did they actually contact each other beforehand and know each other's locations? That makes sense.

Realizing I'd been thinking about a whole bunch of pointless things again, I clicked my tongue. Normally, I wouldn't even notice these things.

I looked up at the roof of the teaching building again, only to find that Ye Yuqing, who should have been standing there observing, had disappeared at some point.

Have they found their target and are they preparing to go downstairs to meet up? Maybe.

I stopped thinking about her and headed back to the classroom with the water I'd bought. I had a test tonight, which would start half an hour early; if I went back now, I'd only have time to rest before it began. This was the third time I'd done this test; I'd struggled with the questions two or three times already. This time, with a little preparation, I was able to answer them all. Was this the only benefit of repeating the same thing over and over again today? Were they worried I wouldn't have enough time?

I walked towards the teaching building. My class was in a classroom on the third floor, towards the back. Next to it, near the stairs, was a lecture hall, a small, extra resource for our class. This lecture hall wasn't used much, but when our class wanted to take tests, half of us would go there, supposedly to get used to the exam atmosphere and the test format. In reality, it was just a tactic used by the teachers to minimize cheating. It was pretty useless. For those who wanted to cheat, it was ineffective, and for someone like me who didn't care much about my grades or what grades I needed to achieve, it was completely pointless.

As I was going upstairs, I saw Ye Yuqing coming down. She didn't pay any attention to me, just walked past me and continued downstairs. This proves that the person she greeted earlier was someone other than me.

I wasn't too surprised, since this is the most normal situation.

I returned to the classroom, sat in my seat, and while recalling the contents of the exam papers from the previous two nights, I flipped through the textbook, looked up the knowledge that had been tested, and spent some time writing it down.

That said, it would be great if we could change the date. Although the Chinese exam paper has many subjective questions, you won't leave many blanks if you want to write them, but the amount of writing required is too much, which is a bit tiring.

I hope it can be changed to math problems or something similar, so that even if it's just memorization, it can be memorized.

Chapter Eleven: Useless Thanks

Ye Yuqing arrived at the classroom three or four minutes before the test started. She was still panting when she sat back down, indicating she had run straight back. However, given her panting pace, without any hint of swearing, I was slightly reminded of a dog.

If I had planned my time better, I probably wouldn't be in this situation now. People like her who like to rush things often end up being caught off guard. At least I leave myself some room to maneuver. Although I often have to wait a while, the chances of making mistakes are much lower, so it's a pretty worthwhile deal.

Ye Yuqing was busy catching her breath and drinking water, so she didn't notice me observing her. She seemed quite happy, which I couldn't quite understand. My knowledge of dating or similar matters was limited to descriptions in books.

I hope she can have a good outcome, after all, this world is equally kind and equally cruel to everyone.

I continued reading, waiting for the teacher to arrive. Right on time, she appeared at the classroom door, holding a stack of white test papers—the ones I had already completed twice. This time, I could write the answers without even needing to carefully read the questions.

The exam was scheduled for half an hour before evening self-study began. I finished the exam by 9 PM, and then spent the remaining hour explaining it without a break. If I was lucky, and the exam was relatively easy, and I explained it quickly, I might have a few minutes of rest left. But generally, there wasn't. Almost all my subject teachers had excellent time management skills; they often managed to explain everything clearly before the end of get out of class, just in time for the bell to ring. The exam wasn't originally that long, but they always wanted to expand on some points. And even with just that explanation, whether you learned anything still depended on your own effort. But that's reasonable; after all, only those who study hard can go further in their studies.

Because I was already somewhat familiar with the exam paper, I finished all the questions in about half an hour before the deadline. Since it was a Chinese exam, I couldn't slack off. If it were math, I could have memorized the answers a bit and finished the two-hour exam in less than fifteen minutes. However, if the teacher saw me doing that, it would likely be considered cheating, which would be very troublesome. Besides, I wouldn't have had the chance, since although there was a math class "today," there was no math test at all.

Compared to others, I had about half an hour more to do my own thing. And the teacher didn't pay much attention during the Chinese exam. If anyone did anything wrong, I could tell pretty much just by looking at the test paper. That's how easy it was to manage a Chinese class.

Ye Yuqing next to me was biting her pen, pondering the content of her essay. The others were in similar situations; aside from me, the slightly faster ones had probably already written a paragraph. It was getting boring again.

I propped my head up with my hand, looking out the window at the dimly lit area. It was the unfinished residential area, supposedly with contracts signed and construction starting soon. I wondered how much they'd gone to get the construction permit. After all, aside from other issues, the first to be affected by construction here wouldn't be the local residents, but rather the high school buildings located nearby… It's easy to imagine the immense pressure they must be under dealing with the students and their parents.

However, this was also the school's decision, and no one knows exactly how the matter was resolved. After all, apart from being too noisy, there was nothing else of concern to them.

I was staring out the window, lost in thought, when I noticed Ye Yuqing's subtle movements beside me. I turned to look and saw her secretly glancing at my completed exam paper. She still hadn't started her essay, probably hoping to get some inspiration from me. But I'd just scribbled something down, so she was likely to be disappointed. After being caught peeking, she seemed a little embarrassed but didn't say anything, probably thinking about how to phrase it.

Anyway, it's just a random essay I wrote. It wasn't written in an exam room, and I don't have any deep-seated grudges against her. I don't mind showing it to her.

After I unfolded the exam paper, I gently pushed it next to her and continued looking out the window. Compared to her, the pitch-black space outside the window was more interesting to me.

"Thank you." I heard a very soft voice, but it wasn't something I needed to thank in any particular way. I waved slightly, and our conversation ended there.

Besides, she won't remember anything in a few hours anyway.

Although I think it's possible that today is the last day of the cycle, pessimism plays a bigger role. I'm just doing what I should normally do for the sake of being safe, in case "tomorrow" suddenly comes at any time?

My absent-mindedness and Ye Yuqing's subtle actions went unnoticed by others, and I was able to get through the night peacefully.

I packed my bag and waited for Ye Yuqing to leave. Just as I remembered, she quickly tidied her things, then stood up and took a step into the aisle, about to join the crowd heading home. I also stood up with my bag, but to my surprise, Ye Yuqing was still standing there, not leaving immediately. I looked at her, blocking my path, wondering what she was thinking.

"Thank you for what happened earlier." She repeated this meaningless phrase to me once again.

"It's nothing," I replied.

Then, with a smile, she merged back into the crowd heading home, and I followed behind her, though my speed was far slower than hers. After all, she had a very important appointment to keep today, so it wasn't unreasonable for her to go a little faster.

I walked slowly toward the school gate. The thought of waking up to another monotonous day made me feel a little listless, and I even slowed down my pace to get home.

The crowd flowed against the direction I had come from once again, and the scene I had witnessed before was reappearing before my eyes.

Or should we go take a look? There's nothing to do back home anyway.

On the third day, I chose to follow the crowd to see what had happened.

To my surprise, I found myself back in the school building where my classroom was located.

Chapter Twelve: The Dramatic Change of Night

I thought I had gone to the wrong place, but the noisy crowd around me made me realize that I had obviously not gone anywhere else. This was the place where the crowd was gathered, which was my destination.

I tried to pinpoint the source of the crowd, but I didn't even need to look hard enough to find it; the entire senior high school building was brightly lit. On my floor, there were a dozen or twenty people, or even more, gathered at the entrance—I couldn't count them all. What were they doing? I didn't know. But something else strange made me focus my attention on it.

Above those dozen or so people, on the rooftop where it should have been pitch black, there were unusually faint lights. And these lights weren't fixed; they were moving back and forth along the edge of the roof, stepping on the railing. What were they? Because the light was so poor in the darkness, I couldn't see them clearly at all. I couldn't gather any more information on my own, but some people were talking nearby, and I tried to glean the information I needed from their conversation.

"Is that supposedly a senior high school girl? Is someone else about to succumb to the pressure and choose to jump off a building?"

"It's true that the senior year of high school has only just begun, but it's too exaggerated to want to jump off a building because you can't handle the pressure now."

"But there really is someone up there. Look how anxious those teachers are. If someone really jumps down, who knows what kind of big thing it might escalate into? Maybe classes will be suspended for a while."

"Impossible. Although there will definitely be an impact, it won't force schools to close. They don't want our lives, they just want the college entrance rate we can provide for them."

Next, their conversation shifted to social phenomena. While having social awareness and thinking deeply about issues is a good thing, it's of no use to me right now.

I roughly understand the situation now. The moving light source above is probably a girl of my age who was contemplating suicide due to unbearable pressure. I only thought about this at noon, and it happened tonight. It's truly heartbreaking and feels somewhat unreal. However, this also means I understand the reasons behind the two large-scale instances of people moving against the flow of traffic I witnessed before, so it's not entirely without merit.

I'm not planning to stay any longer. Everyone values ​​their life; who would choose suicide unless they were truly at their breaking point? If the reason isn't known and the other person refuses to communicate, they probably really would jump. But in my opinion, while the pressure of senior year is indeed immense, it's not entirely unbearable. With guidance and proper relaxation, adjusting one's mindset, navigating senior year smoothly isn't difficult. She's just having trouble handling the pressure right now; a little reassurance should resolve the issue. Besides, this whole affair has nothing to do with me. My only role now is that of a bystander, adding to the psychological pressure on the teacher and that girl. My contribution is essentially negligible, so staying here is pointless.

Frankly speaking, what she wants to do next has nothing to do with me, and I don't have any problem ignoring her.

Then, I heard this sentence.

"Ye Yuqing, come down quickly! We can talk things over!"

My turning motion froze as if under a spell. I looked up again at the light source that had been hovering back and forth on the roof of the teaching building. Perhaps having heard the teacher's call, the hovering light source stopped. After a brief pause, it rose higher and stopped at a relatively high position, then began to sway rapidly from side to side in an arc. Whether others could understand what was happening, I didn't know, but having seen her at noon, I knew what she was doing—she was making a gesture to greet someone.

Who is she greeting? Who can she see from here? Is she just trying to say hello? Or has something happened between her and the person she's supposed to meet? Didn't she say she didn't bring her phone? Whose phone is it? I can't figure it out, I have absolutely no clue.

I watched as the tiny light source stopped moving again. She turned her phone towards herself, and I could vaguely make out her face, but not her expression. She probably wasn't very happy, I guessed.

She looked at her phone, and after a few seconds, the screen went black. I sensed what was about to happen, and instinct drove me to take a step forward, but reason quickly prevailed. I stood still, watching helplessly as what was about to unfold. The surrounding crowd also stirred; they seemed to understand what was about to happen, and people began to back away.

Don't back down! Go catch her! I was thinking about such a righteous thing, but my body didn't move at all. I suddenly felt an extremely strong sense of disgust towards myself, but even this disgust couldn't drive my body forward. My body had long been used to being a bystander. The so-called sense of justice was just a completely useless decoration. What drove me was selfishness and the desire to avoid trouble.

So, on the third day of this endless cycle, I witnessed firsthand the moment a vibrant life was extinguished.

She leaped, whether forward or backward, she plummeted from the top of the senior high school building to the ground. I watched a dark shadow fall before my eyes like trash; I didn't see the moment she hit the ground. The crowd and flowerbeds blocked my view. I only heard the thud of something heavy hitting the ground, the splashing of liquid, and… a second later, screams erupted from the crowd, followed by the roars of the teachers from the building.

The crowd surged forward again, running away from the area centered on my destination, panic spreading through the darkness. I stood frozen, unable to move, letting the crowd rush past me, letting my vision gradually clear and open. I made no other movements, my body stiff, nothing could distract my gaze. Until I saw her, a corpse, head down, the mutilated head clearly visible even under the lamplight, the blood still spreading, its cold color unchanging even by the warm light, the stench of death permeating the air.

My stomach started churning, and an extreme feeling of discomfort seemed to surge from my body. My legs went weak, and I collapsed to my knees, supporting myself with one hand as I vomited.

This time, I witnessed death firsthand.

Chapter Thirteen: The Anticipated Rebirth

Some time after Ye Yuqing jumped to her death, police cars arrived at the scene with flashing red and blue lights and sirens blaring. Because I witnessed the incident and left vomit there, I was recorded by the police and will probably be called to the police station to give a statement sometime tomorrow or the day after. Such scenes appear quite often in movies and TV dramas, so I can say I have some experience with this.

The teachers at the scene weren't as lucky as me; they were all kept there to assess the situation. An ambulance arrived with police cars and doctors gave me a cursory examination, but they couldn't find any injuries. However, they were still very professional and suggested I go to the hospital for a check-up when I had time. I didn't care about that. When they no longer needed me, I left; I wanted to get as far away from that place as possible.

About an hour late, I was on my way home again.

Witnessing the passing of a life is a serious matter, especially when that life was so close to me... I don't have the courage to talk about it and fall asleep peacefully. Fear constantly lingers around me.