Heroes Return

"It doesn't matter who it is," Leng Yan merely sneered.

Just as he let out a cold laugh, the door slowly opened, and a beautiful figure in military uniform appeared before everyone.

"Hello everyone, my code name is Po Jun. Please take care of me from now on." The girl bowed to everyone, then looked nervously at the many heroes present.

However, when the heroes present saw this figure, they all showed expressions of surprise, and almost everyone froze on the spot. Blast, who was holding a plate, dropped the plate, which landed at the feet of the girl in the blink of an eye, but she didn't even react.

Even the usually composed Leng Yan showed a shocked expression at this moment, and at the same time he looked warily at the petite blonde girl in front of him!

The heroes present recognized the girl's face all too well, for she was none other than the Horned Angel who had appeared in the Holy City. Although her wings were gone, her beautiful face, petite figure, and the holy radiance emanating from her body proclaimed her identity to everyone.

"Have the World Government and military gone mad?!"

This idea came to everyone's mind.

Although they knew the World Government had retrieved Horned Angel's body, they never expected that this young girl would stand alive and well before them once again. Even veteran heroes like Captain Justice felt a sense of unease, knowing that Horned Angel had been an extremely dangerous figure in the past.

"Huh? What's wrong with you guys?" The girl looked at the heroes present in a bit of a panic. "Hey, hey, hey? They said this would leave a good impression! Did I do something wrong?"

……

Volume Nine, old classmates and such...

Chapter One

"Young man, drink this bowl of fresh hot shit... fresh medicine." A bespectacled man with a sleazy appearance said to Lin Jie, holding a bowl of dark, viscous substance that emitted a strange smell.

At this moment, Lin Jie was still acting like a three-year-old child. Upon seeing the bowl of black substance that emitted a strange smell, he immediately asked Xiao Zhan beside him, "Are you sure this person is reliable? Why do I feel like this lewd-looking guy isn't very trustworthy?"

"Don't worry, brother, this is a master I hired at a high price. He's an expert who specializes in lifting curses." Xiao Zhan gave Lin Jie a thumbs up.

“Mr. Lin, I’ve actually learned a bit about the curse you’re under. Because it’s a completely new curse, I’ll call it the Comical Curse for now. And to be honest, breaking this Comical Curse isn’t going to be easy.” The lewd-looking man said to Lin Jie, “According to my research, this Comical Curse is extremely lewd, just like what you’ll look like when you grow up.”

"Damn it! I may be sleazy, but I'm not as sleazy as you!" Lin Jie shouted at the person in front of him, clearly annoyed.

"Don't worry about the details!" the lewd man said to Lin Jie. "Let's talk about your condition. The most despicable thing about this comical curse is that there's almost no power specifically designed to counter it. It's like a completely new attribute that transcends nature—let's call it the comical attribute for now. To solve this problem, I used a large amount of medicine to simulate a power similar to this comical curse. You could say it's a method of fighting poison with poison. Now, drink this bowl of hot shit... medicine!"

"Damn it! Even if you say that, I still don't want to drink it!!" Lin Jie shook his head and said.

"There's no other way but this right now," Xiao Zhan said, placing the bowl of hot, black, unidentified substance in front of Lin Jie.

"There's no other way, let's try anything!" Lin Jie said as he picked up the bowl of the strange-smelling substance.

Lin Jie had tried several methods during this period, but none of them had any effect when faced with this strange and comical curse.

Immediately afterward, Lin Jie gulped down the medicinal soup from that night. But the next second... Lin Jie's entire face turned green...

"Damn, this shit is poisonous..." After saying this, Lin Jie collapsed.

"Holy crap, no way!" Upon seeing this, Xiao Zhan immediately grabbed the lewd man's collar in anger: "Lin Jie, with his incredible physical abilities, was poisoned! Are you trying to save him or harm him?!"

"That's impossible!" the lewd man said to Xiao Zhan. "There shouldn't be any poison here! I didn't add any ingredients that could poison someone!"

As the lewd man spoke, he reached into the soup bowl that Lin Jie had overturned, dipped his hand in a little bit of the remaining medicine, and put it in his mouth. His face immediately turned green.

"It tastes so damn awful..." After saying this, the sleazy man collapsed to the ground.

"Damn! And they still say it's not poisonous!" Xiao Zhan looked at the two people who had collapsed and immediately collected the remaining liquid, then placed it on his research workbench: "Speaking of which, this stuff really does look like poop!"

While the machine was analyzing the components, Xiao Zhan took a close sniff of the substance in front of him and said, "It smells a lot like poop!"

At this moment, the analyzer displayed the words "non-toxic," so Xiao Zhan tasted a tiny bit: "...It tastes...like shit! Although it has a bit of a Chinese medicine flavor."

After saying that, Xiao Zhan went to the bathroom to rinse his mouth, looking disgusted...

At that moment, Lin Jie found himself on a beach on a small island. As he stood there bewildered, a woman suddenly hugged him from behind.

"Honey, what are you daydreaming about?" The voice held a hint of playfulness. Upon hearing this voice, Lin Jie froze on the spot. He knew that voice all too well; it was Xiao Qian's voice.

"Xiaoqian! Is that you?" Lin Jie immediately turned around, and in front of him stood a woman in a swimsuit with an alluring figure. But Lin Jie was stunned the moment he turned around. Because Xiaoqian's face had turned into a comical expression…

"Honey, really! Aren't we the only two adults on the whole island?" Xiaoxi said in a reproachful tone, but her comical face was just too damn funny for Lin Jie to bear!

"If anyone can send me back to the illusion created by that angel of light, I'd rather be chopped up..." Lin Jie looked at Xiao Qian with a ridiculous face in front of him, feeling annoyed. She was just too damn distracting.

"Really, honey, what nonsense are you talking about!" Xiaoqian said, grabbing Lin Jie's hand and pulling him toward a house on the island. "It's time to eat, the children are getting impatient."

"Wait! We have a child?" Lin Jie asked, somewhat shocked.

"What are you talking about! Haven't we already had two kids? And aren't we expecting another one soon?" Xiaoqian said, touching her belly. Although this should be the most heartwarming scene Lin Jie had ever longed for in his life, that funny face of hers was just... damn too lewd!

If your wife tells you she's pregnant with a funny face, I believe no man wouldn't feel disgusted.

Just then, the two finally arrived at the dining table. The two children were already sitting on the table, eating heartily.

Just as Lin Jie sat down, both children looked at him simultaneously. This look sent a chill down Lin Jie's spine, because the two comical-faced children staring directly at him went beyond mere lewdness; it was downright terrifying!

After cursing "Damn it!" a few times in his mind, Lin Jie finally managed to get used to the scene before him. But just then, a dog ran into the house.

"DouDou, time to eat!" XiaoXi, with her comical face, called out to DouDou.

"Woof woof..." Dou Dou barked twice, then pounced on Lin Jie.

Lin Jie looked up and was immediately stunned. Even Dou Dou had put on a funny face. At that moment, the funny face stuck out a snake head and kept licking Lin Jie's face.

"Stop licking, DouDou..." Lin Jie said, still dizzy, as he opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was a normal DouDou, and the scenery around him changed back to Xiao Zhan's laboratory.

Lin Jie slowly stood up, immediately tasting a strange flavor in his mouth. Without a word, he rushed into Xiao Zhan's bathroom and began vomiting uncontrollably. Of course, at the same time, Xiao Zhan and the lewd man were also vomiting in the toilet.

"What the hell did you feed me? Ugh..." Lin Jie questioned the man beside him while vomiting.

"Ugh... Don't worry... Ugh... Although it looks like poop, smells like poop, and tastes even more like poop... Ugh, I can assure you, this thing is definitely not poop... Really..."

"Ugh... You've vomited like this... Ugh... And you still say this isn't shit!!!" Xiao Zhan yelled at the lewd man while vomiting.

"Really, no! Ugh... I never imagined I could concoct something so disgusting." The lewd man explained frantically while vomiting, "I swear on my life, the ingredients inside are absolutely a drug used to lift curses! By the way, didn't it have any effect after you drank it?"

"Ugh... I had a dream, does that count? But it was all funny! And my body doesn't seem to have changed at all so far!" Lin Jie said while vomiting.

"That's ridiculous! At least my medicine has found the curse, which is why you had such a dream! As long as you keep taking the medicine every day... ugh! After you've eaten forty-nine lumps... forty-nine bowls, the curse on you will definitely be lifted!" the lewd man said.

"You yourself treat this stuff like shit, don't you?!" Lin Jie shouted angrily at the lewd man, "And eating too much of this stuff can kill you!"

"Anyway, your physique isn't very strong, is it? You're still an A-level hero, aren't you?" The lewd man said, getting up to rinse his mouth. "This is the only way I can do it."

"I rely on!"

Although Lin Jie found the lewd man very displeasing, he still bought forty-nine doses of medicine in the end. This was because Lin Jie did indeed feel that the curse within his body was showing signs of weakening.

However, Lin Jie is not mentally prepared to start using these medications every day right now.

Well, actually Lin Jie had no intention of drinking this stuff at all. The purpose of buying it was to wait for something else to happen in the future, in which case this potion might become a magical artifact.

After seeing off the lewd man, Lin Jie looked at Xiao Zhan and asked, "Speaking of which, why haven't I seen Thirteen and Glasses lately?"

"Thirteen? He said a couple of days ago that he found out about the Salvation Army and has already set off to investigate." Xiao Zhan said as he walked into the house.

"Oh? So you mean he's hiding because of the investigation?" Lin Jie asked.

"No, his plane crashed en route, he should still be in the Atlantic Ocean..."

With that, the two returned to Xiao Zhan's room.

At that moment, DouDou was drawing something on a piece of paper with a pen in its mouth. Lin Jie vaguely saw that it was a design drawing of a mechanical dog.

"DouDou is drawing design sketches?" Lin Jie asked, somewhat surprised.

"Mechanical design drawings." Xiao Zhan said as he walked to his workbench, "After all, I'm single, it's normal to want to find a partner..."

"Hey! So, the mechanical dog he's designing is basically just an inflatable..." Lin Jie looked at Dou Dou in confusion: "Speaking of which, if he really wanted a mate, why did he take Dou Dou to a pet store or a breeding center? Or just buy it a dog?"

"Don't even mention it!" Xiao Zhan sighed. "I did have that plan, but it says it's a proper dog, it doesn't philander or spend money to buy sex, because there was that news about someone paying to buy a wife, only to have her run away a few days after the wedding..."

"This thing really lives up to its breed..."

Chapter two

"Speaking of which, why didn't I even see the glasses?" Lin Jie asked Xiao Zhan again.

“Glasses has been singing on his rooftop lately, that song called ‘Cold Dog Food’,” Xiao Zhan said after thinking for a moment. “He’s basically not here lately, whether it’s for hero events or games.”

"Could it be that Dong Xiaoye has finally seen through his incompetent nature and is planning to break up with him?" Lin Jie suddenly became curious.

"No, didn't Dong Xiaoye participate in the battle against Ivan? And to thank these people, all water and ice type psychics have the opportunity to receive guidance from the SS-class hero Leng Yan." Xiao Zhan suddenly said, "And it seems that Leng Yan will be providing unified guidance for at least a month this time, and of course, Dong Xiaoye went too."

"It's just special training, why did your glasses get like this?" Lin Jie asked, somewhat puzzled.

"Do you even need to ask? Of course it's because Leng Yan is Dong Xiaoye's idol. Speaking of Leng Yan, Dong Xiaoye always looks like a lovesick fool." Xiao Zhan said, while taking out a box of Extra gum and placing it on his workbench.

"So Glasses is actually jealous?" Lin Jie asked unhappily, "This guy really has a luxurious kind of trouble! Speaking of which, have you and Bu Feiwu made any progress? You two have been together for so long."

"Feelings naturally need to be cultivated slowly, and how can one allow others to sleep peacefully beside one's bed?" Xiao Zhan suddenly said righteously.

"So you've been together for so long, and you still haven't had a chance to win her over?" Lin Jie jumped onto Xiao Zhan's workbench, and then he saw Xiao Zhan nervously combining a chewing gum and a funny toy.

Upon seeing that Xiao Zhan had actually combined Extra Extra and comical elements, Lin Jie immediately chose to leave Xiao Zhan's building.

What Lin Jie and Xiao Zhan didn't notice was that right after Lin Jie left the building, a mysterious gaze began to monitor Xiao Zhan's every move.

This man is one of the most terrifying assassins in the world! His assassination success rate has remained virtually 100% to this day! And at the same time, no one in the entire assassin world knows what he really looks like.

At this moment, he was hiding in a secluded room three blocks away from Xiao Zhan, completely concealed in darkness. Through miniature cameras installed on several buildings opposite Xiao Zhan's building, he could clearly see Xiao Zhan's every move inside the window.

His codename was "The Undead," and unlike all other assassins, he fulfilled almost any request from his employers. As long as they filled out the mission form, he would definitely accomplish those requests!

After glancing at the task list in his hand again, the ghost looked at Xiao Zhan on the monitor once more. On the screen, a comical figure synthesized from Extra chewing gum began to run around Xiao Zhan's room. Then he saw Xiao Zhan being brutally beaten by the comical figure, followed by an explosion.

"Looks like my mission this time is quite simple! Haha, this person should be Xiao Zhan from Xiao Dou Si Company, which currently holds a dominant position in the world of online games. I never thought someone would spend two hundred million to take his dog's life." As he spoke, the undead burned the mission book in his hand, because he had already memorized all the requirements in the mission book.

He then pressed a few buttons on the monitor, and the screen froze on DouDou, who was diligently drawing a design: "I'll take this task! But I really can't figure it out, how did he offend those people?"

……

Lin Jie was unaware that an extremely dedicated, powerful, and experienced assassin had already set his sights on Xiao Zhan's life. At that moment, he was in a dressing room.

"Are you sure there's no other way besides those medications?" Ling Yu asked Lin Jie, who was standing next to him at the time.

Because the comic was developed by Xiao Zhan, Ling Yu had no choice but to follow Lin Jie to H City in order to find his penis.

“There’s another way, which is to find those seven comical orbs scattered all over the world. Then we can have that comical god remove the curse on us.” Lin Jie thought for a moment, then said to Ling Yu, “Speaking of which, Xiao Zhan seems to have a comical detector.”

"Since that's the case! I've made up my mind! I'm going to collect those seven ridiculous balls! I'd rather die than drink that shit-like stuff!" Ling Yu immediately stated his position: "The protagonist can be awesome without explanation! But he absolutely cannot eat shit without explanation! And I believe that as the protagonist, I have absolutely no problem finding those ridiculous balls!"