My sister never calls me brother.

I instinctively hugged myself tighter.

I feel completely insecure.

The school bell rang.

I bit my lip hard, trying to clear my muddled mind.

She tiptoed slightly, searching for him among the many students.

The dense crowd, like a single entity, resembled a rushing river.

But the one I like walks outside the river, appearing particularly out of place.

I found him very easily.

Two years later, he seems to have changed a lot, shedding much of his childishness.

I was filled with many emotions, and even forgot the torment of the high fever—

I was overjoyed to see him; my wish had come true, and I was very satisfied.

Unfortunately, I can't talk to him.

I also feel sorry for him, living his youth all alone.

There was also a hint of secret joy.

Because it seems that no girl other than me has fallen for him.

He still belongs only to me.

I know it's selfish of me to think like this.

but--

Love can never accommodate a third person.

No?

Extra Chapter: My Own Light

On the advance toward the target,

I am a firefly.

There is no need to emit the light of a torch.

Even if the footprints left behind are faint in light,

That is also worthy of praise.

——Anonymous

What if I'm too shy?

Then be a little braver.

What if I'm too timid?

Then encourage yourself more.

What if I'm too ordinary?

Then change yourself, that's all.

There will be no shortcuts for you.

Because the shortcut leads to a destination that is not yourself.

------

My name is Yao Xiaorui.

She was an overly timid, shy, and ordinary girl.

It exudes weakness inside and out.

I'm so ordinary it's pathetic; nobody cares about me.

Many times.

When I'm late, the teachers don't even notice me, or even remember me.

I guess I'm just not very noticeable?

Of course, I didn't actually want it to be like this.

Every class has its own most popular student.

them--

Or they study well.

Or it's good for exercise.

Or good-looking

Or they have their own special skills.

There are many more or...

In short, it has one distinctive feature: it is unique.

These characteristics make them stand out from ordinary people and attract attention.

No one succeeds because of luck.

These are the kinds of people with unique characteristics.

God knows what efforts they made behind the scenes.

Therefore, it is easy to feel jealousy when facing those who are in the spotlight.

I feel the same way, but I keep this jealousy deep inside.

Because of my timid nature, I dared not show my jealousy.

At first, I thought this jealousy was justified, until I met a boy in high school.

The boy actually said I was pretty and happily accepted my chocolate.

In that instant, I realized something—

Over the years, it seems I've focused all my attention on being jealous of others, and haven't paid any attention to myself at all.

Perhaps it's because I don't care about myself that I'm becoming more and more transparent.

Yes, jealousy is just a waste of time.

In the end, all he could do was carry this jealousy with him through life.

So why do most people get caught up in jealousy instead of choosing to express themselves?

I've thought about this for a long time, and considering it from my own perspective—

I had already failed the moment I became jealous.

Jealousy arises from inequality, and when I feel utterly defeated, I use "jealousy" to soothe my escapist feelings.

This is probably... the lonely licking of wounds by the weak, right?

Perhaps the most popular student in the class looks glamorous.

But when you face reality, he is not you.

Why deliberately imitate?

Why make a deliberate effort to get close to them?

Why deliberately be hypocritical?

The whole reason can probably be summed up in "you want to become him".

When you do that, you've already declared your defeat.

because--

Why do you assume he's better than you?

　 I also want many people to remember my name.

However, I did not use methods of imitation, approximation, or hypocrisy.

Although those people looked glamorous, I had a vague feeling that they were somewhat dangerous.

Perhaps it's because I don't have the same courage as others.

It's less about courage and more about a lack of self-confidence, isn't it? Hehe.

During my junior high school years, I was bossed around by others, which subtly fostered a habit of obedience.

Because those people look fashionable and have personality.

They always sit in a large circle, chatting about topics that only they know.

But I seemed very ordinary, even—uncool?

I won't be like those fashionable girls.

She cut her skirt so short.

It looks like it would expose itself if the wind blew.

I won't be like them.

Dye your hair all sorts of colors.

That doesn't look like a student.

I would never be like them.

They use the number of times they've had relationships as something to brag about.

Because that would subject you to a lot of unpleasant gossip and rumors.

Perhaps it's because my personality and behavior are incompatible with theirs that they treat me like a servant?

But I'm not angry.