The Daily Life of a Hogwarts Terrorist

Mr. Seamus didn't react on the spot, didn't use halal, yes, didn't. Seriously? This is the Whisperer! This is the Whisperer the Order and the Amalgam have been longing for, this is a walking, talking gold nugget!

It's like if one day you spent countless RMB to create a cute girl, and then this cute girl could move around on her own, go out on the street, and bump into you on the street, would you find a lighter and set her on fire?

No way, no one would do that, right?

Mr. Seamus wouldn't do that either. He would just gentlemanly help that soft-spoken girl... up, then gentlemanly invite her to lunch (the kind with something added on), gentlemanly drive her, still drunk, to a deserted wilderness, and then gentlemanly... um.

So how could Mr. Seimei possibly be angry at the beautiful, lovely, and golden-haired Miss Chidori? Hahaha!

Especially after Ms. Chidori repeatedly and sincerely bowed in apology. Hahaha!

"You little vixen, just wait until the day I devour you completely!" Mr. Seamus, whose capacity was greater than a wheat awn, secretly vowed, and then sat down.

The classroom fell silent again, and then, after about 10 minutes (while organizing a young teacher with a gloomy life to create incomplete combustion and carbon monoxide indoors), everyone began to introduce themselves under the guidance of the now-reinvigorated, desperate teacher.

What followed was uneventful and unremarkable.

Even someone as twisted as amalgam could only manage to turn his self-introduction into a speech about just how much he loved his sister, all under the guidance of his sister-obsessed brother.

Although, judging from the effect of the speech, the students generally still paid serious attention to these guys (for those who are perverted).

However, for someone like Mr. Simo, who frequently attends internal (male-only) meetings of amalgam, the declaration "Gentlemen, I love my sister the most" was initially quite shocking, but after hearing it many times, it could only elicit a lukewarm response like "Ah, here we go again."

The only thing that Mr. Simo found a little unbelievable was how Kosaka, the sister-complex, could repeat the same content a thousand times and still be so passionate every time?

"Bland and boring" was Mr. Simo's only assessment of the first class meeting.

Lengthy and nonsensical are the most accurate compliments Mr. Simon made to it.

Finally, after a fat man named Li Weizhong, who had no sense of shame whatsoever, shouted, "I have no interest in ordinary people. If you have Chu Bai, Muscular Bald Guy, or Futa among you, then come find me," Mr. Ximo stood up amidst everyone's eager anticipation.

Please note that there is absolutely no exaggeration here; everyone is genuinely looking forward to Mr. Seamus's self-introduction.

Huh? Does everyone really like Mr. Seamus?

No, it is not.

Keep in mind that although there are only 39 people in the class, including Mr. Despair, it would only take about an hour if each person took a minute or two or even just a sentence to introduce themselves.

However, those perverts who write "mercury alloy" but read "sister complex concentration camp" each talked for at least 30 minutes about how great their sisters are!

So it's well past lunchtime now, and if we think back to how everyone got up early this morning and expended a lot of energy on a long journey...

So when Mr. Seamus, who was sitting in the last row by the window, stood up, didn't that mean the bugle call for lunch had been sounded?

Mr. Simo, who had been hearing thunderous sounds that hadn't stopped since earlier, was well aware of this. He even clearly saw the threatening looks from Kosaka's siscon gang, who were giving him the message, "You bastard, finish this already!"

But when has Mr. Seamus ever been afraid of anyone's threats?

Furthermore, if it weren't for those die-hard sister-obsessed people wasting their own time and suffering the consequences, how could they have dragged everyone down with them, starving and unlucky?

Anyway, Mr. Seamus is someone who observes Ramadan every year, so he's not in a hurry, not at all.

Do you know how to conserve energy during Ramadan? How to avoid feeling hungry?

Of course, it's done with slow motion!

So, amidst everyone's anxious and expectant gazes, Mr. Ximo stood up in 10 seconds, looked around in 10 seconds, glanced at Kosaka, the siscon, and smiled at him for 5 seconds. Then, he looked at Nozomi Itoki in 10 seconds, nodded to her, and finally cleared his throat in 5 seconds.

[Damn it, you idiot! Just say it already!] x37

"My name is Ximo."

Mr. Simo stopped after saying just one sentence. Just when everyone thought that was all Mr. Simo had to say, and even Chidori Kaname was already preparing to cheer (after all, hitting people with a folding fan is quite tiring), the idiot Mr. Simo actually spoke again!

Upon hearing this, some people's joyful expressions froze on their faces.

What did I just hear? What did that mentally challenged man named Seamus say? Many people couldn't help but ask themselves these questions until they heard Mr. Seamus repeat himself clearly once again: "Yes, that's right, I am a Muslim. A fighter from Afghanistan."

Therefore, I hate it when people are not dignified when I speak, because that is not halal at all.

Do you know what halal is? You don't, and I know you don't, because you are not Muslims, but I am.

Therefore, I have an obligation to let you know: the consequence of not being halal is holy war!

A holy war waged to uphold faith and justice!

I love it when a string of fireworks is set off from a neatly arranged C4 bomb, accompanied by a deafening roar, blasting everything that isn't real into oblivion. As they're sent flying into the air and then riddled with shrapnel, my heart races with excitement!

I love placing little gifts for travelers by the roadside! When those Brittany soldiers who don't follow traffic rules rush out of burning cars and accidentally step on another little gift, I feel an immense sense of joy!

I like to mercifully offer a last supper to those traitors who are about to atone for their sins. Although it is just some simple drinks, you can't imagine how pleasurable it is for me when Coca-Cola and a lot of Mentos accumulate in my stomach acid and intestines!

So don't hug and kiss me in front of me. You should know that impure heterosexual relationships are not pure at all.

Don't make noise in front of me, because true Muslims prefer quiet except when enjoying the hustle and bustle of fireworks.

Don't over-decorate yourself to show off your wealth and power. (At this moment, Mr. Seamus glanced at the iPhone 8 in Fatty Levi's hand. Although it was already badly damaged, it still made Levi shudder.)

But I would be very happy if someone were willing to give me a Note 7.

After saying that, Mr. Seamus happily tossed the phone he was holding so everyone could see it.

53. The best performing group of the year, Mercury Alloy, is here!

"You're kidding, right? Huh? You're kidding, right?" Li Weizhong looked at Ximo in disbelief, his body involuntarily leaning back, as if this would keep him away from Mr. Ximo's threat.

However, this only provoked the displeasure of Matou Shinji, who was sitting in front of him. The fat man was not only large in size but also heavy; Li Weizhong's leaning back pushed the table back 20 centimeters, causing Matou to want to curse: "You fatso! Watch where you're going!"

The other students also looked at Mr. Seamus with horror, as did the man from the amalgam.

Mr. Simo expressed his heartfelt gratitude for such acting. Look at Shusuke Takanashi's trembling expression—how convincing it was! It was as if he truly didn't recognize Mr. Simo. This is truly the best of the best! Excellent! Thumbs up!

Taking advantage of the atmosphere, Mr. Seimo gave Chidori a very gentle look.

This immediately turned Chidori Kaname's face ashen, her expression a mixture of surprise, doubt, fear, and unease.

Mr. Seamus nodded; this was exactly the effect he wanted.

Mr. Simo even began to maliciously speculate about what Miss Chidori, number 002, was thinking at that moment: "Oh no! Is this a terrorist attack? Has my relationship with my father been exposed? Kidnapping the daughter of a Britannian diplomat to threaten the Imperial government? How could such a reason be possible... Damn it, if I were a terrorist, I might do the same!"

"Oh no, it's over? What will happen to me? Will I be turned into a human bomb? If it's just death, that's fine, even though I won't see my sister again, but what if I'm also..." Mr. Seamus's shameless fantasies were finally interrupted by the WeChat communicator in his ear.

It turns out that Kosaka, who has a sister complex, secretly texted him: "Stop playing around! Be careful you don't go too far!"

Mr. Seamus smiled knowingly. This siscon must be starving by now.

So, following the pre-arranged plan, Mr. Simon put down his phone, a warm and sunny smile spreading across his seemingly harmless face, and then clapped his hands vigorously: "Hey! The joke's over~"

For a moment, time seemed to stand still in the classroom. There was no sound, as if you could hear your own heartbeat. It was the birds outside the window that broke the silence, but their clear chirping sounded exactly like "ahong" (idiot) to everyone present.

Chidori was so angry that her face turned pale, but this was not the paleness she had shown before when she was frightened; instead, it was a more vibrant and delicate face that was closer to a pinkish-white.

[Hold on! Hold on! Xiaoyao, you have to hold on! Don't get angry, mind your image! This is the first day of school, you need to be mindful of how you appear in everyone's eyes!]

Chidori had to constantly remind herself that suppressing the class rioters (Kousaka's sister complex) and beating up a brain-dead child were different. The former would make her classmates cheer for her, while the latter would only make everyone think she was petty or had a bad temper.

So don't bother arguing with this kind of idiot! Xiao Yao!

But just then, Chidori saw that mentally challenged, idiotic, brain-damaged child speak to her again: "Huh? Everyone seems to be frightened. I'm so sorry for causing you trouble~"

Chidori couldn't hold back any longer. She grabbed her weapon and charged forward, hacking at Mr. Seamus's head repeatedly: "Causing trouble? You dare say it's just causing trouble?! (This is giving me a heart attack!)"

*Slap slap slap!* Chidori's folding fan struck Mr. Seamus's head twice per second.

Powerless to resist, Mr. Seamus could only retaliate verbally: "Stop! Stop! You violent female gorilla!"

Unfortunately, this angered Ms. Chidori again, and she increased the frequency of her folding fan to five times per second: "Who is this gorilla calling a gorilla?"

Although his brain was being subjected to this external interference, Mr. Seamus's IQ did not decline at all. He wisely did not reply with "The gorilla insulted you," but instead gave a non-sequitur reply: "If you hadn't accidentally hit me earlier, would I have joked like that?"

Miss Chidori immediately became embarrassed. Although she slapped Mr. Seymour a few times "hard" due to inertia, her bright red face showed that Miss Chidori was already feeling guilty: "Shut up!"

Women, when they're in the wrong, can only resort to being unreasonable. However, not everyone can enjoy this kind of unreasonable behavior.

Seeing this, Kyosuke Kosaka silently thought to himself, "Dude, this is all the brothers can do for you."

Meanwhile, next to his sister-obsessed friend, Shirou Emiya was secretly chatting with his best buddy: "Shinji, you really hit me hard just now. You weren't deliberately trying to take this opportunity to hit me a few more times, were you?"

Meanwhile, Second Master retorted angrily, "I hit hard? Look me in the eyes and you have the nerve to say I hit hard? Don't expect me to put in a good word for you in front of Sakura after school!"

That's right, all those events just now were part of Mr. Seymour's and Kosaka's siscon plan!

Because there is a crucial piece of information in the data collected by the amalgam: No. 002 Chidori Kaname is generous and cheerful, with strong work ability, amazing action and sense of responsibility. She has been the class monitor from elementary school to junior high school, but she has an extreme personality.

According to the research of the amalgam intelligence department, if an ordinary classmate were to approach someone like Kaname Chidori, it might not attract her attention or even cause her to resist. However, if she were to approach someone who is a troublemaker in the class, given her personality, she would be more likely to attract her attention.

So, in response to this "excellent class monitor" personality trait, Simo and Kosaka, who were obsessed with their sister, devised a countermeasure in the infirmary (this was done incidentally when signing the "Kosaka Twenty-One Articles").

Next, Kousaka and the Amalgam crew, back in class, start creating conflict; and Chidori Kaname's personality makes it impossible for her to ignore it. At this time, Mr. Shimo "coincidentally" stands next to Chidori Kaname, watching the battle between the siscon and others, giving Chidori Kaname the first impression that "although I don't fight, I'm definitely not a good person."

It doesn't need to leave a deep impression, because sometimes too strong a feeling of disgust can backfire, so just being able to get attention is enough.

After that, no matter what Chidori wanted to do, Amalgam would cooperate with her to stop the riot and take the opportunity to bring out her class monitor personality.

To expect Chidori to take on the responsibilities of class monitor and worry about the class without being elected or appointed by the teacher is a recipe for disaster. Given her impulsive personality, Chidori is bound to be extremely dissatisfied with certain aspects of the class.

For example, a lazy, uncouth person who looks listless and lacks any manners.

54. A war without gunpowder

Of course, if the homeroom teacher of Class 1-F had been a very competent person, then Ms. Chidori wouldn't have had any further involvement.

Fortunately, Ms. Nozomi, nicknamed "Mr. Despair," is not the kind of teacher who makes people feel at ease at first glance.

But is this really just a lucky coincidence?

If a terrorist organization like Amalgam can infiltrate a school as a high school student, why can't it also infiltrate a teacher?

So, with wolves in front and tigers behind, Miss Chidori didn't fall into the trap.

Do you really think that flying folding fan hit Mr. Ximo by sheer coincidence? It was the result of Mr. Iroha's manipulation.

The travel bag filled with suicide devices was indeed eye-catching, but precisely because it contained so many eye-catching items, no one noticed that the bag had a hidden compartment where a miniaturized λ-driver system was operating covertly.

λ-driver is a technology that can significantly enhance the combat effectiveness of existing weapons. It can convert the operator's mental energy into physical energy, and units equipped with this system can generate destructive power surpassing any existing weapon. In defense, it can create a protective layer similar to an air wall to isolate attacks, but this is only applicable to nuclear-powered Gundams that are tens of meters tall.

For miniaturized λ-driver systems, their role is limited to providing individual battlefield support, such as using magic like "telekinesis" to transport wounded soldiers.

As for why the folding fan, which should have just grazed Seamus's body, "just happened" to hit Mr. Seamus?

Hahaha!

It's not because Nozomi Itsuki has a cute little sister named Nozomi Itsuki!