The Daily Life of a Hogwarts Terrorist

Although Seamus's physical condition is somewhat unique, it's not the kind of abnormal uniqueness. Seamus doesn't really agree with certain British cultural customs that have been popular since the Victorian era.

Mr. Seamus felt he had to make it clear to Louise that he was not a patient with the Masoch phenomenon.

However, Louise's answer nearly drove Seamus to despair: "Um, I don't know either. I just feel like the feeling of 'whipping you' is familiar, like I've done it many times. Hey, what kind of look is that?"

Well, Mr. Seamus has confirmed it. Based on some modern literary works he has read, he can conclude that Mademoiselle Louise Vallière is very likely, no, she is an out-and-out patient with Sade syndrome!

My master is a freak!

This result was quite surprising, at least to Seamus. As a result of his surprise, Seamus decided to spend more time with Louise while he was still by her side.

To reiterate, Mr. Seamus is not a patient with Masochism; he simply wanted to help Louise break this bad habit out of a desire to heal and save lives.

Mr. Seamus was thinking: [What if Louise has a relapse after I leave? What if she takes a whip and starts whipping people? What if she offends someone? What if this peculiar illness means she's destined to be alone for life?]

So after organizing his thoughts a little, Simon expressed his ideas to Louise.

Louise listened patiently, very patiently, until the very last sentence before picking up the whip to show that she wasn't the kind of person Simon thought she was; she was only interested in whipping Simon. She wouldn't whip him even if someone else told her to.

And so, the chase began again in the small room, accompanied by joyful laughter.

27. Mr. Seamus's Astonishment 3.0

It was around two o'clock in the afternoon when Simo emerged from Louise's bedroom. He strolled leisurely for a while, then suddenly accelerated as he reached the corner of the hallway.

Ignoring the screams and complaints of the students around him, he walked through the crowd, through the corridors, through the courtyard, through the gate, and finally stopped in a secluded corner near the castle's stables, where he had been covering his mouth the whole time.

After cautiously glancing around a few times to make sure no one was nearby, Simo took out a bag, turned around, and, leaning against the wall for cover, spat out a bunch of things. Upon closer inspection, it became clear that these were all food items: chicken legs, beef, fruit, vegetables, and so on.

Without exception, these foods were all smaller than normal foods, in fact, much, much smaller. To give a specific idea of ​​how small they were, they were probably 1000 times smaller than normal-sized items, looking about the size of miniature toys made by Muggles.

Then, in less than a minute, these "mini toys" began to slowly grow larger.

At this point, Simo finally breathed a sigh of relief.

Just moments ago, after a playful tussle with Louise, the two, their relationship restored, gazed at each other silently, drawing ever closer, until...

Suddenly, Louise, realizing what was happening, shoved Simo away and stammered, "Haven't you had lunch yet? Are you hungry?"

"I was just angry earlier, so the hay and stuff was just a little joke I played on you~"

"Actually, I prepared lunch for you. Here it is over there."

"You must be starving, eat up."

With one hand clutching his stomach (from being too full) and the other clutching the back of his head (from the bump), Simo stared in astonishment at the "mountain" on the table. He had been so focused on Louise that he hadn't noticed the unusually large tablecloth.

As he watched Louise open the lid of her plate and see the pile of food on it, a bead of sweat rolled down Seamus's forehead. Now Seamus finally understood why the witty maid Pros had been surprised and then burst into laughter upon seeing him eating in the cafeteria.

[She must have brought these foods for Louise. How awful, she didn't even tell me!]

The astute Seamus deduced the whole story: "Louise first found Pros and had her serve her hay, while secretly preparing a normal meal as well. If I had given in then, perhaps Louise would have let her bring out the real food."

However, Louise angered me and drove me away. Louise must have been very angry too, but even so, she still had Pros bring food to her room so she wouldn't go hungry when she returned.

Faced with Louise's kind offer, Simo couldn't possibly refuse "to her face," but he truly couldn't eat right now. If he didn't eat, Louise might be sad, and more importantly: [What if Louise knew I'd secretly eaten lunch? What if Louise knew that the kind, beautiful maid had invited me to lunch...?]

Stealing a glance at the riding crop Louise had tossed on the bed, Simo swallowed hard and decided it was best not to provoke Louise any further.

So, with a "food crisis" looming, Simo really didn't have the energy to condemn a maid for her inaction, failure to report the incident, or gloating. His priority was getting through this crisis safely without betraying Louise's good intentions.

but......

【what to do?】

【what to do?】

"Even if I were starving like before, let alone now that I've already eaten, I still couldn't eat such a big plate!" Ximo's eyes began to dart around in a panic.

Simon understood that the key issue wasn't whether he ate the food or not, but whether Louise "saw" him eat it. As long as Louise thought he ate the food, she would be happy, but in reality, he didn't necessarily have to actually eat it.

In fact, Seamus already had a preliminary idea of ​​how to get away with it. The first of the "Five Exceptions to Gamp's Basic Laws of Transmutation": Wizards cannot conjure up delicacies out of thin air, nor can they turn other things into food or even eat them, but they can enlarge food.

Conversely, shrinking food is also possible, but if your magical skills aren't good enough, the food you eat might not even be fully digested before it shrinks back to its original size in your stomach, causing you to choke to death.

However, if it's small enough, you can secretly put it in your mouth and spit it out before the magic disappears.

But the problem is, why should he do this? What reason can he give Louise to believe that he must use magic to shrink the food, otherwise it will only arouse her suspicion? What Seamus lacks now is an excuse, an excuse to justify casting the spell.

At this moment, Louise noticed that Seamus hadn't started eating and found it a bit strange: "What's wrong? Eat up, it'll get cold if you leave it too long and it won't taste good."

[Wait a minute!] Suddenly, Simo had an inspiration after grasping the key words.

It must have been quite a while since the morning classes ended, right?

Mr. Seamus then expertly drew his wand: "Shrink quickly!"

Mr. Seamus discovered that although he was no longer at Hogwarts, his application of knowledge was becoming increasingly proficient. Indeed, it is only under pressure that new uses of knowledge are discovered, and only through practice can one gain a more intuitive understanding of knowledge.

However, Mr. Seamus had no doubt that if Professor McGonagall knew he had used Transfiguration knowledge in this way and wasted food, he would certainly be punished.

However, thinking of his own health and taking responsibility for his stomach, Seamus ultimately chose to solve the problem with magic. So, under Louise's strange gaze, Seamus used the reduction spell to turn all the food into a tiny bite.

"Why use magic? Have you already eaten?" Louise looked a little disappointed, even though she had been worried that Simon might be hungry.

"No, how could that be? I do this so I can eat faster, and the nutrients inside won't be reduced at all," Ximo said loudly, sounding guilty.

He thought that speaking loudly would make him appear innocent, but Simo didn't notice that although his voice was loud, it was actually a bit off-key.

To avoid arousing Louise's suspicion, Seamus quickly continued, "Don't we have class this afternoon? It's already getting late, and if I eat slowly, it'll be a waste of time. I don't want to see you get 'called out' by the professor for being late."

The quick-witted Simo came up with a plausible excuse for his actions, and before Louise could react, he shoved all the food into his mouth.

Then, while pretending to chew food (actually secretly hiding the food in the back of his mouth and under his tongue), he asked indistinctly, "Where are our afternoon classes? Let's go!"

Louise believed Simo's story and felt a small warmth from Simo's "thoughtfulness" towards her; however, she couldn't help but blink and take out her timetable to tell Simo that she actually had no classes that afternoon.

28. Mr. Seamus's Astonishment 4.0

Upon hearing the news, Mr. Seamus was immediately stunned with embarrassment. On the one hand, he secretly rejoiced that he had acted quickly enough; on the other hand, he began to worry. He had originally hoped that Louise would not notice and would get rid of the food hidden in her mouth in time on the way to the classroom. What should he do now?

Given Simo's current strength, it would be quite an achievement if he could sustain the food for half an hour, so Simo really didn't dare to swallow it.

Just thinking about what will happen in half an hour—the food waiting to be digested in the stomach, the food already digested in the intestines—once it returns to its original volume...

Mr. Seamus swore he absolutely, positively, would not let such a "wonderful" scene actually happen, especially not in front of Louise. So he began to look for an opportunity to make a strategic retreat.

It's not safe to keep food in your mouth like this, because if you can't spit it out in time, the food will burst your mouth.

So, after mumbling (because he had food in his mouth) that he wanted to take a walk to "digest" his meal, Simon slipped out of Louise's bedroom.

Louise originally wanted to accompany Seamus for a walk and show him around the school, but how could Seamus possibly agree to that?

[Just kidding, if I really let you stay by my side, wouldn't I be exposed?]

So Simo used a number of excuses, such as "she stayed up all night chatting and needs to rest well" and "women look older if they don't get enough sleep," to strongly stop Louise from going on a trip with him. Of course, if it were a different occasion, Simo might have been happy to take the beauty on a trip with him.

Finally, after much persuasion and strong encouragement from Simo, Miss Louise, who was worried that lack of sleep would accelerate aging, gave Simo a blow to the waist and finally did not come out with him. Instead, she quietly lay down on the bed, and about 20 minutes had passed by then.

After successfully escaping, Simo finally found a secluded spot and spat out everything that had grown larger and thicker in his mouth due to the loss of magic.

The next question is how to deal with these foods that have been contaminated with his biological information.

Should we dig a hole and bury it? Or secretly toss it into the familiars' dinner? Or perhaps unleash a massive explosion that leaves no trace of the corpses? The last one is too ostentatious and makes too much noise, so pass.

Just as Seamus was racking his brains about how to dispose of these things without Louise noticing, a magnetic and charming voice sounded behind him.

"Oh my, oh my, what a fateful encounter, Mr. Seamus Finnigan!"

Simo, who was carrying a bag in one hand, immediately shivered, then turned his head stiffly to look at the guy who had quietly appeared behind him.

"Oh, Mr. Finnigan, what a coincidence! May I ask who you are here?"

"I heard there are quite a few familiars around here. I'd like to go take a look and maybe feed them some. Here you go." Quickly calming himself, Simo gestured to the bag in his hand. Although on the surface Simo appeared nonchalant, he was actually practically cursing inside.

"So that's how it is. You're really kind~" The visitor ignored, or rather, didn't notice Simona's threatening gaze at all.

Instead, she approached Simo with a blooming rose in her hand and opened her arms.

Simo could clearly see that the person's shirt was deliberately buttoned only up to the fourth button, perfectly revealing the soft skin beneath the clothes. The half-exposed figure added a unique atmosphere to the scene.

"It's all fate, it's the goddess of fate who brought us together~" The other person seemed genuinely happy to find Ximo here. After singing a few ambiguous lines in an aria-like voice, the two people quickly closed the distance between them.

boom!

"Get away from me, you pervert, you dead gay, stay 10 feet away! No, you're not allowed to come within 10 meters of me."

Seamus gritted his teeth and pointed his wand at Kisch. He never expected Kisch to be this kind of person. Seamus thought this guy was just an ordinary playboy, but he didn't expect that this kid was bisexual!

And they even dared to set their sights on me!

[As expected! No matter the world, nobles are always disgusting! Except for Louise!] After making a small mental attempt to salvage the situation, Seamus made up his mind: if Kisch dares to take another step closer, for the sake of his chastity, he will definitely blow this guy to pieces, so that he will never be able to commit a crime again!

"Wait! Wait! Mr. Finigan, please don't do this! I just came to ask you for a favor!"

Finally noticing Simona's unmistakable threat, or perhaps startled by the dark crater that suddenly appeared beside him, the flamboyant young boy, Kisch, clutched the rose that was nearly shattered by the blast wave and quickly stepped forward to explain.

boom!

At the last second, Kishu dodged to the right, his face turning deathly pale, then filled with utter shame and indignation: "You...you're going to kill me? You bastard, you want to kill me, don't you?!"

However, Seamus remained silent, and the only response Kisch received was yet another explosion.

boom!

"Back off! Quickly! Back off!"

Simo stared intently at the gay man with a look of disgust, not letting his guard down for a moment until the man had retreated to a safe distance.

"You bastard! I considered you a friend! I even helped you secretly! And this is how you treat me! I was even moved by your chivalry this morning! You shameless scoundrel! What happened to helping your comrades? What happened to being loyal to your loved ones to the death?"

Although Kishu was very angry and furious, and although he kept condemning Simo, his legs still obediently kicked and struggled desperately under the influence of fear, trying to make his body retreat quickly.

The only thing that made Kish grateful at that moment was that, because Montmorency had poured wine on his head at noon, he hadn't worn his wet robes after changing his clothes, otherwise it would have been quite inconvenient to move his body like that.

At this point, Seamus, who had finally lost the physical nausea, calmed down and looked at Kisch with the eyes of someone looking at scraps, saying, "I'm sorry, you're a good person. Although I'm British, I'm really not gay. I hope you find someone more suitable in the future."

Now Kisher was even more frantic. What was this? The lunch incident wasn't resolved yet, and if he was mistaken for being gay again, he might as well not live anymore: "You, you bastard, what nonsense are you spouting? Don't slander me! I like girls! I really came here to ask for your help!"

29. Whether you're gay or not, you're going to die!

Over the next fifteen minutes, Kishu explained to Simo what had happened in the cafeteria at noon after Simo left.