A Young Woman's Heart

"Oh, then you must remember what you learned in physiology class."

"I know."

"You have a girl's ovaries and uterus inside your body, while externally, there is an organ that looks like a male organ, but it doesn't actually have any function. They can't even secrete extra male hormones for you. Your testicles are more decorative than functional. Haven't you noticed that during your puberty, other boys grew taller, developed Adam's apples, and grew hair, but you didn't?"

"..." Mo Xueyao blushed a little. Actually, there was another point: the other boys' penises were bigger than his.

So much so that after the boys in junior high school started going through puberty, he had to hide in a cubicle to go to the toilet, because if he went with everyone else, he would easily be laughed at.

"So, you are actually a genuine girl. The surgery we're going to perform isn't that complicated. It's just about turning your external organs back into a girl's organs. It's like a red bean paste bun that's been shaped like a dumpling. Now we need to turn it back into a bun," Dr. Wang explained with an interesting analogy.

"Can't we just not go back to normal?"

"Well... let's not talk about the social problems that will arise in your life in the future. Just in the short term, if you don't do it, you will often have stomach aches or headaches, or even pain all over your body. Moreover, this abnormal physiological state will affect your brain. In short, it will bring all kinds of troubles."

Mo Xueyao rubbed her still aching head and didn't answer.

He simply lowered his head and remained silent.

"Life is full of surprises, and we all have to face and solve them, don't we?"

"If you keep refusing, it will make your parents very worried."

"Actually, being a girl is great. Most people don't have the experience of being a boy first and then a girl like you do."

Mo Xueyao let Dr. Wang talk, but remained silent throughout.

He gripped the sheets beneath him, feeling that everything had happened too suddenly.

"Doesn't this seem a bit too sudden?"

"Um……"

“That’s life. There are always dramatic things that happen, and there are even many true stories that screenwriters wouldn’t dare to write.” Dr. Wang gently patted Mo Xueyao’s shoulder to comfort him. “If you feel that as a girl you have to date boys and are resisting it, then you don’t have to. Girls don’t necessarily have to like boys.”

In that instant, the convergence of various external factors finally broke through Mo Xueyao's psychological defenses a little.

"me……"

"Ok?"

"Let me...let me think about it...will this surgery cost a lot of money?" Mo Xueyao rubbed her hair in frustration, making it messy and like a bird's nest.

"We will try our best to save money for your family, but it will probably still be around 50,000 yuan."

“So many,” Mo Xueyao blurted out.

"But your health is more important."

"Our family can't afford that much money..."

"If you really have difficulties, our hospital can help you apply for a bank loan—having connections with the hospital will make the loan process easier."

Mo Xueyao rubbed her hair again, then lay back down on the hospital bed as if deflated.

He looked up at the unfamiliar ceiling again, then sighed deeply and muttered, "It feels like I'm having a ridiculous dream..."

"It's not a dream, it's reality." Dr. Wang patted Mo Xueyao on the shoulder. "Think about it rationally. Would it save your family money to stay in this stalemate, or would it save them money to have the surgery directly? And what if you have another accident like this? What if you end up needing someone to take care of you for the rest of your life?"

Upon hearing this, Mo Xueyao immediately pictured herself lying in bed, unable to take care of herself, needing help even with basic physiological needs.

His heart skipped a beat, and he seemed to begin to waver.

It wasn't because she wanted to be a girl, but because she worried that her stubbornness would make things more difficult for her family and cause more trouble.

Let's think rationally...

He slowly closed his eyes, feeling incredibly troubled.

"Well then, let's leave it at that. I believe you will make the best choice." Dr. Wang smiled, stood up, pushed open the door, and walked out of the ward. After that, no one came in.

This blank and quiet time seemed to have been deliberately left for him...

……

Chapter Eight: The Decision That Had to Be Made

Mo Xueyao was discharged from the hospital the next morning.

Since there were no serious injuries, even the scrapes didn't need bandages and would heal on their own in a few days.

Continuing hospitalization would only be a waste of money. For an ordinary or even slightly impoverished family, every penny saved is precious.

It wasn't his mother or Yu Liang who picked him up, but his own father.

My father rode a blue bicycle with a crossbar in the front, carrying me slowly and unsteadily home.

Everything was normal, as if nothing had happened.

"Hmm, the cake smells pretty good, Haruka, do you want some?"

"I'm not hungry." Mo Xueyao, sitting in the back seat, shook her head. "Dad, why are you picking me up today? Don't you have to go to work? That can't be right... Today is Monday."

"Uh, I just took the day off today." The father looked around casually, as if trying to hide something. "Anyway, don't worry."

"Is it really just a leave of absence?" Mo Xueyao gripped the armrest of the back seat and sighed deeply.

"Yes, she really just took a day off. After all, it's not easy for your mom, who works as a nanny, to take time off, right?"

After waiting for a long time without receiving a reply from Mo Xueyao, the father couldn't help but turn his head to take a look.

I noticed that he was frowning slightly, staring blankly at the cars driving by on the street.

"Dad, I wish we had a car too."

"Ha, isn't this a vehicle?" the father laughed, slapping the handlebars hard. "A two-wheeled vehicle!"

"I was talking about cars... Hey, Dad, look ahead when you're riding your bike, don't look back!"

"It's alright, your dad's cycling skills are absolutely no problem." As he said this, the father deliberately shook the bicycle, which startled Mo Xueyao, who grabbed her father's shoulders tightly.

"Wow, you little rascal... that hurts!"

"Who told you to act so recklessly! How old are you?!" Mo Xueyao shouted, attracting the attention of many passersby. His voice trailed off as he said, "Can't you just ride your bike properly?"

"Okay, okay, would you like some cake?"

"The cake shop has already been approved, so please don't ask anymore, okay?" Mo Xueyao said with droopy eyelids.

His earlier antics seemed to have eased his troubled and heavy heart a little.

The bicycle wobbled into the familiar street and stopped downstairs at home.

As soon as Mo Xueyao got out of the car, her father suddenly put his arm around her shoulder.

"What? Do you want me to carry you upstairs?" Mo Xueyao asked, glancing sideways at her father.

The reason I asked this question is because my father had actually made this childish, playful request before.

Although most of the time he was so tired from climbing just a few steps that he almost collapsed.

"Hey, it's been a long time since I've held Xiaoyao. Let's hold her today—let's go!" The father scooped Mo Xueyao up in his arms and rushed upstairs in one stride, 'thump thump thump' as if he didn't have any strength and didn't even pant as he climbed several steps.

"Hey, what's going on? She's not a girl, why are you hugging her?" Mo Xueyao complained.

Immediately, the atmosphere fell silent once again.

The father awkwardly touched his nose and put her down: "Uh, okay, walk by yourself."

"..." Mo Xueyao lowered her head, took a deep breath, and silently followed behind.

The laughter they had just shared seemed as if it hadn't been created by the two of them.

The moment the door opened, the oppressive atmosphere seemed to dissipate instantly.

"Hmm, it smells like porridge. Your mom must have cooked porridge again. How about I make you a scrambled egg with scallions today?" the father asked with a smile.

"Hmm...anything is fine."

Mo Xueyao had little energy, so she lazily returned to her room, kicked off her slippers, and lay down on the bed.

The wind was hot, but it made his heart feel slightly cool.

He sat up, leaned against the window, and looked down at the sparse trees and the weeds that filled the flowerbeds.

My mind seems to be filled with many thoughts, yet it also feels like I'm not thinking about anything at all.

The clouds in the sky slowly changed shape with the wind; a large cloud drifted away, and several smaller ones would drift in.

The bright sun hanging high in the sky made it clear that it was going to be another hot day.

However, Mo Xueyao suddenly noticed a dark cloud drifting in from afar, turning all the white clouds in the sky black, and the clear, hot sky suddenly became gloomy.

He looked up, so engrossed that he didn't even hear his father calling him to have breakfast.

His father didn't call him again, but just watched his back for a while before quietly closing the door for him.

The sky quickly turned pitch black, so gloomy it was suffocating.

A few gray-yellow sparrows flew across the sky, searching for eaves where they could take shelter from the rain.

And the whole world seemed to be suddenly swept by a strong wind.

The wind blew the branches to one side and the weeds to the ground.

I vaguely heard someone shouting something like, "It's raining, go home and bring in the laundry," followed by the sound of windows being slammed shut.

I also saw several pieces of clothing blown into the air and hanging on the treetops.

The sunlight had completely disappeared, and the whole world was plunged into darkness.

Even the streetlights below seemed to sense that it had gotten dark, and they automatically turned on, emitting a dim yellow light.

"Boom—!"

A blinding bolt of lightning suddenly struck down, startling Mo Xueyao so much that he instinctively shrank back, as if the lightning was about to hit him on the head.

As if sounding the call to arms, the pitch-black raindrops began to fall in a pattering thud.

It struck the eaves, the awning, and the ground.

The wind blew obliquely, sending the torrential rain splashing onto Mo Xueyao's face.