Love, Gun, Cupid

Love, Gun, Cupid Author: Gray Descendant

Summary:

Cupid taught me that there are three steps to winning a heart: load the bullet, find the target, and shoot the heart.

This is not true.

So I took a .44 caliber revolver, loaded it with bullets of four colors: joy, pain, submission, and resistance, and shot at the target Cupid had chosen for me.

But one question still bothers me—

Why are all my potential marriage partners... not human?

Labor Day Special Episode: Hehuan IF

A female beggar was holding up a QR code and begging from us. My companion, Lin Jiade, actually scanned it and gave her five dinars, which surprised me a bit.

He said to me, "This poor woman reminds me of something from the past that I can never forget."

"RPG?" I asked.

Lin Jiade retorted, "Do you think this is the Universal Empire Geographic Forum?"

"In any case, we'll make another five dinars."

"Now I'll tell you about it."

My family is originally from Fuxing City, and we're not wealthy; we just barely make ends meet. My roommate, Mumian, works and comes home very late from the office. She doesn't earn much, and since we both do magic research, our savings are dwindling rapidly.

My other roommate, Jasmine, and Kapok don't get along. She's very distressed by our increasingly tight budget. It's precisely because she used to be wealthy that she feels sad now that her bank account is down to five figures.

Back then, the family had to be frugal in everything: they never played gacha games to avoid spending a lot of money on impulse; they never went on trips, as Kapok worked every day and didn't have time to go; and Jasmine didn't dare to have the child she had been longing for, because raising a child required a lot of energy and money.

Every Sunday, Mumian only works half a day. In the afternoon, our whole family dresses up and goes for a walk in the green space near the train station. Mumian wears a black onesie and a helmet, Jasmine wears her high school uniform, and I wear an anime shirt that captures the future.

Whenever she sees a train pulling into the station, Kapok always says the same thing: "Ah! If the Albizia were on the train, how wonderful that would be!"

Kapok's good friend, Senior Sister Hehuan, was once our family's only hope. Before that, she betrayed her path as a magic researcher to play music, becoming an object of everyone's sighs.

Now, Kapok often talks about her, to the point that I have additional memories of my senior, Hehuan, that didn't exist, and these memories are gradually becoming more detailed.

If Senior Sister Hehuan comes back, I think we'll probably recognize each other as soon as we meet.

It is said that Senior Sister Hehuan behaved very improperly back then. In order to pursue her musical dream, she overspent her connections and spent seven-figure dinars. Even though she had a powerful family background, it couldn't stop her from burning money for her dream.

To us ordinary folks, burning money is a sin, and the worst sin we can imagine.

In wealthy families, as money dwindles, the relationship between parents and children grows increasingly distant. Finally, one day, Hehuan has a huge argument with her parents. Her career has already taken off, and she only needs one last investment to monetize the traffic she has generated, but her parents disagree.

In keeping with the traditions of families that study magic, Hehuan was sent to the Dream Rehabilitation Center in the western province of Azkaban, a place known for its Dementors and electrotherapy, ensuring that every young person with lofty ideals eventually recognizes their place in society.

Once there, Senior Sister Hehuan accidentally met a glamorous Egyptian game producer, joined Siren Records, and released a wildly popular catchy song, making back all her previous losses.

Soon after, she wrote a letter expressing her hope to repay the money she had borrowed from Kapok and to resume their correspondence.

This letter caused a huge stir in my family. Hehuan, whom everyone thought was a spendthrift son obsessed with music and not on the right path, suddenly became a big star.

Having money is the greatest virtue. Senior Hehuan's reputation here has suddenly reversed. People who used to laugh at her for not having talent are now praising her talent; people who used to deny being friends with her are now showing off their acquaintance with her.

Soon, businessmen from the western provinces told us that Hehuan's new album was expected to achieve double platinum sales, which made everyone admire her even more.

Hehuan, a senior student, sent a second letter, mentioning that she was in good health and planned to go on a multi-city tour soon. She also mentioned that she had bought a lot of internet concept stocks, saying that they were very profitable and that everyone was investing in them, so she followed suit.

Finally, she said she would like to go back to Fuxing City to visit if she has the opportunity.

Kapok treasured the letter, showing it off whenever a guest visited. Unfortunately, for several years afterward, Senior Sister Hehuan never wrote again, but Kapok's hope grew stronger with each passing day.

Jasmine often said, "As long as the mimosa tree returns like lightning, everything will be alright."

So every Sunday, whenever she saw a train approaching from afar, Kapok would repeat herself like a broken record: "Ah! If the Albizia were on the train, how delightful that would be!"

With Senior Sister Hehuan's return a sure thing, everyone had come up with a thousand plans, even including using her to buy a large villa that could house dozens of people. When Jasmine's desire to have children reached its peak, she wanted to have as many children as a football team.

Today, Ms. Yang came to visit us. Even after we graduated from university, we still maintain a complicated and tangled relationship.

We went for a walk in the green space near the train station. Suddenly, we saw passersby offering their partners sugarcane. A woman dressed in coarse cloth, with her head down and her face obscured, peeled and cut the sugarcane on the spot with a knife, then handed it to the buyers, who then passed it to the two partners.

Their way of eating was also very elegant. They would hold a piece of sugarcane in one hand with a handkerchief, put it in their mouth, chew it thoroughly to get the sweet juice, and then spit the residue into a napkin held in their other hand. The napkin would then be thrown into the trash can.

My act of eating sugarcane while enjoying the cool air touched Kapok, and my roommate asked, "Want some sugarcane?"

Jasmine and I both agreed. The people who had been eating sugarcane earlier had already left, so Kapok followed suit and took a piece of sugarcane. Unfortunately, she didn't eat it elegantly and ended up spitting the sugarcane residue onto her clothes, making herself look rather disheveled.

"Pfft." Jasmine immediately laughed.

Kapok suddenly seemed uneasy, glancing at the sugarcane-selling woman a few more times before walking back towards us. He muttered, "Damn, why does that person look a bit like Hehuan?"

Jasmine asked, puzzled, "Who?"

"It's my good friend Hehuan. If I didn't know she was doing well at Siren Records, I would have thought the person selling sugarcane in front of me was her!"

Jasmine also became frightened and stammered, "Are you crazy?! Since you know it's not her, why are you talking nonsense like this?"

Mu Mian was still worried and whispered, "Go take a look. I just feel... damn it, how can they look so alike?"

Jasmine pretended to be very interested in sugarcane processing and went over. I also looked at the woman selling sugarcane. Her clothes were dirty and tattered, her hair was dry, her face and hands were wrinkled, and there were thick calluses on her palms. She looked like she had suffered a lot.

The woman kept her head down, completely focused on her work. When someone called her, she would only respond with a soft voice. Her voice was hoarse and tired, completely different from the voice of my senior classmate Hehuan in my memory.

Not long after, Jasmine returned, and I could see she was trembling. She quickly said, "I think it's her. Go and ask around the neighborhood. Be careful, don't let her come back and bother us again, asking for money for some musical dream."

There was a grilled gluten stall nearby that had been there for a long time. I bought a few skewers of grilled gluten on behalf of Mumian, and chatted with the stall owner while they were being processed.

“I come here often. There’s a sugarcane vendor over there. He must be new here.”

The stall owner nodded: "It is said that she came back from a western province. She used to be very wealthy, but her company launched an art design collection project at a reasonable price to improve her reputation."

The company initially prepared 100,000 sets of the artbook, but they sold out in an hour, so they had to keep restocking. The amount of soil they gave away was in the tons.

The company lost a fortune on this project, forcing the glamorous Egyptian producer to commute by bicycle, which triggered a chain reaction, along with what seemed to be a stock market bubble... so she quit.

She said she still owed money to local friends and didn't dare to acknowledge them. Look at her, she's fallen so low.

Kapok returned stiffly, plopped down on a bench in the green space, and stammered, "It's her, it really is her! What do we do?"

"Let's go, while she's busy working, let's make sure she doesn't recognize us!" Jasmine said angrily. "If she had listened to advice and stopped playing music, and instead worked honestly in a government office, earning a fixed salary, even if she wasn't successful, she wouldn't have fallen to this state!"

"Ugh."

“Just consider it bad luck today, Lin Jiade. Go pay the bill, and be quick about it. Don’t let her look up and recognize us, or others will laugh at us.”

It's always my turn to step in at times like this; I have a clear understanding of my position in the family. Reluctantly, I went over and asked, "How much should I give you?"

I longed to call her "Senior Sister Hehuan," but with Kapok and Jasmine watching me from behind, I could only stand there awkwardly.

“Three dinars,” Senior Sister Hehuan replied.

I scanned the QR code on my phone to pay five dinars. Suddenly, Senior Sister Hehuan looked up, and before I knew it, our eyes met. I saw a Senior Sister Hehuan with rough, dark skin and hopeless eyes. She had been completely swallowed up by life, becoming a cautious, timid person who just went through each day in a daze.

Her long hair had long been cut off, and her uneven short hair emitted an unpleasant smell from time to time. Even her voluptuous figure, which had once fascinated me, had become shriveled and droopy due to lack of care, leaving unsightly shadows under her clothes.

This is Senior Sister Hehuan, someone I once respected and admired. She was so beautiful back then, full of dreams and striving to realize them, but now she's become like this!

Senior Hehuan recognized me too, her eyes filled with tears. A heartbreaking silence remained between us. Finally, she lowered her head, bit her lip, and whispered, "You gave too much, sir."

This statement established our relationship and revealed her attitude. I breathed a sigh of relief, then felt ashamed of my despicable relaxation.

"The extra amount is for the tip," I said in a low voice.

"Thank you, sir... Good luck."

At that moment, I had already turned around. When I heard Hehuan's voice behind me, for a second, I felt that her voice brought back our wonderful college days, but we can never go back.

She was no longer the beautiful, rich, and stunning senior who attracted attention; and I was no longer that boy who had just embarked on the path of magical research and was obsessed with the football field.

I walked toward the kapok and jasmine, my steps becoming firmer. The mimosa tree behind me lowered its head and withdrew its gaze from behind me.

"Didn't she recognize you?" Jasmine asked.

"No."

How much money did you give her?

"Five dinars."

Jasmine paused for a moment, then sighed. We were going through the seven-year itch and hadn't held hands in a long time, but this time, she took the initiative to put her hand in mine.

This is why I can't help but give female beggars five dinars whenever I encounter them.

The prototype for this piece is "My Uncle Jules".

This is just an IF scenario, focusing on persecuting characters and will not appear in the main storyline.

This is a rejected draft; please do not subscribe!

The May sun was already scorching, but for Lin Jiade, his life was filled with coldness.

Unemployed for two years, lacking any skills, unwilling and unable to do manual labor, divorced by his wife, his child not in custody, and friends who were once close to him have gradually drifted away...

After a series of setbacks, the 37-year-old greasy middle-aged man lay in a rented room, living in a daze, oblivious to the changing of day and night, and the passing of spring, autumn, winter and summer.

Ultimately, when he got up to order takeout only to find that he had no money in his account, he decided to turn to crime.

He could just go to any house, steal some food, get beaten up, and then wait for the police to call him. For someone as rotten and useless as him, prison would probably be the best ending. As for what it would be like in prison... he no longer had the time or energy to think about it.

What he's thinking about now is who he should commit the crime against. To achieve his desired outcome, the target should ideally be a single, relatively weak woman with some financial means... Before going to prison, Lin Jiade wants to eat something good.

Once this absurd and crazy idea was conceived, it began to move towards being put into practice. The target was quickly identified: Jianlan, Lin Jiade's landlady, 50 years old, with a good income, a husband and son, but Lin Jiade had only met her in person, presumably because the men in her household were not often at home.

Lin Jiade was deeply impressed by her. Firstly, although she was 50 years old, she looked only 30. She looked like that when he moved in at 23, and she still looked like that now, as if she had stopped aging and become an immortal fruit.

People say she had surgery, but Lin Jiade doesn't think so. Because from head to toe, she doesn't show the slightest sign of decay; she's naturally beautiful, radiating a captivating mature charm.

This is the second reason why Lin Jiade was so impressed with her. Jianlan's topic revolved around family, her husband and son, and her eyes were often filled with tenderness and affection when she talked about this.

For a middle-aged man who had lost his family and was living in a cramped little house, this tenderness and pampering was something he longed for. So, when he decided to end his life with crime, Gladiolus became his first choice.

When he was striving for a happy life as an ordinary person, fate brought him many misfortunes, but when he decided to end his life as a criminal, fate came to his aid.

At night, it suddenly started raining. The streets were deserted, and the sound of rain and the rain itself provided the best cover for crime. Lin Jiade made his move at this moment. He crouched under the eaves of Jianlan's house, pressed his face against the window covered by curtains, and eavesdropped on the sounds inside.

"Why did it suddenly start raining?" Jianlan's voice came from inside. "Luckily, the clothes were brought in this evening, honey."

Lin Jiade was startled. He had never met Jianlan's husband, but he figured he was an older man than Jianlan. If that was the case, he could barely manage and wouldn't be beaten too badly before the police arrived.

The man inside didn't answer, and Jianlan continued, "In this noisy weather, I don't know if my son can concentrate on writing his graduation thesis. He has to defend it soon, and I heard it's very strict this year. Go and get him a bottle of Coke."