One person: Starting with the Rumble-Rumble Fruit, his grandmaster uncle emerges from seclusion.

Zhang Tianyi's eyes lit up, and he became even more interested.

"Then I definitely have to go see it. Come on, take me to see Longhu Mountain now, and while you're at it, get me a decent set of clothes."

He tugged at his loose, elderly-style Taoist robe, looking disgusted.

"This tattered fabric is rotten. I want to wear trendy brands! I want one of those... T-shirts with skulls on them! And sunglasses too!"

Zhang Zhiwei: "..."

Tian Jinzhong: "..."

Chapter 7 Rongshan! Why is there no internet?!

The first rays of morning sunlight streamed through the window lattice and into the side rooms of the Celestial Master's Mansion on Longhu Mountain.

Zhang Tianyi slept very soundly.

There was no longer that lightning tribulation hanging overhead, threatening to turn him into charred remains.

There was no longer the rattan cane that Master Zhang Jingqing could use to whip her buttocks at any moment.

This feeling is absolutely amazing!

"yawn--"

Zhang Tianyi stretched out a big yawn, and his joints cracked like popping beans.

He sat up in bed, looked down at the loose-fitting Taoist robe he was wearing, which he had swiped from the big guy yesterday and which had an old-fashioned feel to it, and frowned in disgust.

"Tsk, this aesthetic sense is just as outdated as it has been for seventy years."

He jumped off the bed barefoot and walked to the bronze mirror that had been passed down for countless generations.

The person in the mirror had sharp eyebrows and bright eyes, long hair that was casually draped over his shoulders, and skin as white as a rich young master who knew nothing of the hardships of life.

Although there was a hint of weariness in his eyes, his face truly looked like that of a twenty-year-old.

"It's so good to be young."

Zhang Tianyi touched his face, a mischievous smile playing on his lips.

"Now that I'm awake, I have to live like a modern person. If I keep wearing these tattered clothes, people will think I'm some kind of old zombie that just popped out of nowhere."

……

Half an hour later.

Several young Taoist priests from the logistics department of the Celestial Master's Mansion stood trembling in front of Zhang Tianyi.

They were carrying a large pile of personal items that they had just rummaged through at the visitor center at the foot of the mountain or even in their own suitcases.

"Second...Second Grand Tutor, is this really going to work?"

A young Taoist priest stammered, "If the sect leader sees us, we..."

"What's there to be afraid of?"

Zhang Tianyi had changed into a loose black hoodie with a huge white skull printed on the chest.

This was requisitioned from a young Taoist priest.

She wore a pair of cargo jogger pants and a pair of limited-edition sneakers.

He casually grabbed a pair of sunglasses, put them on his nose, and struck a cool pose in front of the mirror.

"Hmm, that's more like it."

Zhang Tianyi nodded in satisfaction, then turned around to look at his disciples who were trembling like quails.

He casually tossed over a small, gleaming gold bar—something he'd casually taken from the old master's private vault last night.

"Take these and distribute them; consider it your errand fee. Remember, get me plenty of these kinds of clothes in the future, especially those trendy brands, understand?"

"I understand! I understand, I understand!"

The young Taoist priests' eyes widened as they held the gold bars as if they were treasures, their earlier fear vanishing instantly.

How could this be the capricious and unpredictable patriarch?

This is practically a money-giving god descended to earth!

After dismissing the young Taoist priest, Zhang Tianyi pulled a brand-new smartphone from his pocket.

This was something he specially asked Rongshan to go down the mountain early in the morning to buy; it's the latest model of a fruit machine, top-of-the-line.

As a time traveler with a modern soul.

During his more than seventy years of seclusion, what he missed most, besides fried chicken and cola, were cell phones and the internet.

"Hehe, let me see what people are playing these days..."

Zhang Tianyi skillfully turned on the computer, his fingertips dancing across the screen.

That tiny bit of bioelectricity allows him to unlock any screen instantly without even needing to input his fingerprint.

"App Store... Popular Games..."

"Temple Run? Sounds good, it seems like all the young people play this nowadays."

Click to download.

Zhang Tianyi stared expectantly at the progress bar on the screen.

The little circle began to spin.

1%...

2%...

Then, it got stuck.

It keeps spinning in circles.

After spinning for a minute, it's still 2%.

Zhang Tianyi frowned slightly, his fingers unconsciously tapping on the screen.

Another minute passed.

A cynical message popped up on the screen: "Network connection timed out, please try again."

"..."

Zhang Tianyi took a deep breath and clicked download again.

This time, it didn't even change by 1%, and a pop-up window appeared: "[Current network signal is extremely poor]".

He glanced at the signal bar in the upper left corner.

Occasionally it will jump to one bar of signal strength, and then instantly turn back to "no service".

"Zizi..."

A dangerous blue-white arc of electricity emanated from Zhang Tianyi's fingers holding the phone.

The screen of that brand-new phone, worth tens of thousands of yuan, flickered twice and almost broke.

"Rongshan!!!"

A roar, accompanied by rolling thunder, instantly resounded throughout the entire front and back mountains of Longhu Mountain.

Rong Shan, who was supervising his disciples' morning lessons in the main hall, was so frightened that he dropped his whisk and scrambled towards Zhang Tianyi's courtyard.

"I'm coming!"

"Second Uncle! What happened? Is it an enemy attack?!"

Rongshan rushed into the courtyard, panting.

But then he saw his second uncle sitting cross-legged on the stone steps, wearing sunglasses, looking utterly hopeless as he held up his phone, searching for a signal.

In the sky, the once clear clouds were rapidly gathering into a dark cloud because of his emotional turmoil, with faint rumbles of thunder.

"Second...Second Martial Uncle?"

Rongshan called out cautiously.

Zhang Tianyi slowly turned his head, his eyes behind his sunglasses seeming to kill.

How has the big guy managed the household all these years?

He pointed at his phone screen and asked through gritted teeth:

"Such a huge Longhu Mountain! A 5A-level scenic area! The ancestral home of Taoism!"

"Why……"

"Not even WiFi?!"

That final shout triggered a thunderclap from the sky.

With a loud crash, it struck the old locust tree in the yard, startling Rong Shan so much that he almost jumped up on the spot.

Rong Shan was completely dumbfounded and on the verge of tears:

"Second Uncle... This is, after all, a place for quiet cultivation. Master said we should stay away from worldly distractions, so this area behind the mountain has always been a signal-blocked zone. Moreover, the terrain here is high, so base station signals really can't reach it..."

"What nonsense about spiritual cultivation!"

Zhang Tianyi interrupted him abruptly, stood up, and was surrounded by lightning, like a berserk Thor:

"How can I fix anything without internet! Do you know the pain of watching the progress bar get stuck at 99%? That's a mental demon! That's the biggest mental demon hindering my path to perfection!"

"Rongshan, I'll give you half a day."

Zhang Tianyi raised a finger, its tip crackling with lightning, conveying a strong sense of threat:

"Go contact China Telecom, China Mobile, China Unicom... who cares who they are! Get the fiber optic cable up here!"

"I want gigabit broadband! I want whole-house WiFi coverage! I want to play games without any lag!"

"Money is no problem, put it on Zhang Da Ge's tab!"

"If I can't get online before dark..."

Zhang Tianyi narrowed his eyes, revealing two rows of white teeth, and gave a sinister smile: