A Certain Magical Hogwarts

Chapter 808 A glass of toilet water every day

The foyer was bathed in the glow of torches, and the group passed through two large doors into a long-awaited auditorium.

The auditorium was packed with four long college dining tables, and the magic in the ceiling was shining brightly, filled with mushroom clouds of explosions.

Candles floated above the dining table, illuminating the few silver-white ghosts that adorned the hall.

Most of the students had already sat down and looked up at William and the others who had entered last. A deliberately hushed discussion immediately filled the auditorium.

William didn't mind and walked through the crowd toward the Ravenclaw table.

Luna had already reserved seats for them, and William and Cho sat down next to her.

Luna was watching "The Quibbler" and was wearing sunglasses, seemingly afraid that the light from the ceiling would hurt her eyes.

William glanced at it out of the corner of his eye and realized that he hadn't watched "The Quibbler" for a while, and it had changed its style.

I used to like writing cheap, sensationalist stories, like crystal skulls, the end of the world, and souls weighing 21 grams...

Any story that is intriguing and eye-catching is a favorite of old Lovegood.

He made money this way and raised Luna.

Now, their style has completely changed, and they've started taking a "poisonous nerve" approach.

For example, the article Luna is currently reading with great interest:

A young wizard went to work at a Muggle hotel and was assigned to clean the toilets. He felt nauseous and wanted to leave.

Old Muggle appeared just in time, cleaned the toilet, scooped a cup of water from it, and drank it all in one gulp.

Then he taught the wizard: You haven't tried hard enough.

The young wizard felt ashamed and resolved to do every little thing well, so he drank a cup of toilet water every day to detoxify and beautify his skin...

Decades later, through tireless efforts, this young man finally became the Minister of Magic.

That's right, this young man is Connery Fudge.

So Fudge grew up drinking toilet water?!

This has a strong "Yilin" magazine vibe. Although William doesn't like Fudge, he feels this is the worst he's ever been criticized.

It's not easy for Luna to grow up so well, even though she's a bit strange. But it's also not easy for her to have a healthy set of values.

Several ghosts were whispering around the table; not only were the Ravenclaw ghosts there, but those from other houses were too.

William tilted his ear and listened carefully for a while.

It turns out that Mischievous Ghost was causing trouble in the kitchen again, and everyone was trying to figure out how to deal with him.

It's not really the ghost's fault.

During the Triwizard Tournament last year, the ghosts were afraid that he would play a prank and cause a bad influence on Hogwarts.

So I discussed it with Pipi Gui and agreed to let him attend the annual New Year's Eve party.

But this year, the ghosts turned their backs on them, and in his anger, Pippi the Ghost went and vandalized the kitchen.

Although William was on Peeves' side, judging from the ghosts' appearance, he suspected that they might not get a hot meal tonight.

Suddenly, Qiu nudged William with her hand and raised her chin to indicate the main table.

William's gaze passed over the heads of his classmates and landed on the long faculty table at the front of the auditorium.

Dumbledore has returned from Vienna.

He was dressed in a deep purple robe covered with silver stars and a matching pointed hat, sitting in the middle of a high-backed gold chair, looking very energetic.

Dumbledore tilted his head toward Professor Flitwick and was chatting with him.

Professor McGonagall isn't here; she must be dealing with Stoddart's matter.

But that wasn't what Qiu wanted to say. She tilted her head and said:

"No new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor is in sight!"

Last academic year, Mad-Eye Moody served as a professor at Hogwarts for a year.

Even Luna, who always admires eccentrics, couldn't honestly give this former Auror's teaching ability a very high rating.

But Moody felt pretty good about himself; he not only didn't want to leave, but he also planned to continue teaching for a few more years.

Why?

At Hogwarts, you can not only catch Death Eaters who have been on the run for years, but also face all sorts of life-threatening dangers and unexpected disasters.

It's even more dangerous than being an Auror.

When he said this, Moody's face was almost expressionless, and you couldn't tell whether he genuinely liked the place or was just being sarcastic.

Anyway, what he said was clearly implying that the school was unsafe.

Therefore, Snape was a black sheep, the rotten apple in Professor X's team!

Anyone who works with him for a year or two will inevitably pick up that advanced rhetoric—the skill of being sarcastic and sarcastic.

Whether it's sarcastic or genuine affection, Moody does want to remain at Hogwarts.

Because he's using this place as an Auror training base!

Moody felt he could have a second spring in his life and strive to provide the Ministry of Magic with qualified Aurors.

But Dumbledore dared not keep him in his post.

As it turns out, Old Moody's magic resistance was no stronger than Quirrell's and the others.

If William hadn't used the time loop, Moody's body would already be at the bottom of the Black Lake, being fed to Greendylow.

If things are like this in the first year, and he continues to stay in the position in the second year, he will probably die prematurely after teaching for only a week or two, leaving no place to be buried.

Dumbledore had no choice but to let Moody go and start looking for a new unlucky guy.

As for that person, why didn't they come?

He's still in prison, of course he can't come!

Just then, the doors to the Great Hall opened, and the first-year students, led by Professor Snape, entered the Great Hall.

He was also carrying a stool with a wizard's hat on it.

The Sorting Hat's lips were pursed high, as if he disliked Snape.

The Sorting Hat itself was covered in patches, and if Anne hadn't helped it bathe, the stench emanating from it could have been smelled from hundreds of meters away.

And it still has the nerve to complain about Snape's lack of hygiene?

Snape didn't notice the Sorting Hat's movements. He glanced around, and the buzzing conversation in the Great Hall immediately subsided.

It felt like we weren't in a sorting class, but in a Potions class.

The first-year students were all trembling with fear; this strange old man seemed difficult to get along with.

The entire school held its breath in anticipation. Then, the Sorting Hat began to sing.

There have been some changes this time.

In the past, the Sorting Hat mostly praised itself.

What beauty and unparalleled wisdom? She punches the idiots of Gryffindor and kicks the mentally challenged Slytherin.

Incidentally... this describes the different qualities that the four colleges value.

If they encounter an interesting student, they might chat about philosophy of life for a while, and incidentally scare the little wizard.

For example, you could tell them that they've hired the wrong person, that they're actually a Muggle or a Squib, and that they should go back to where they came from.

Some students who were fooled burst into tears on the spot.

The Sorting Hat is a wicked creature!

I don't know who he learned it from, but after being taken out to play by Annie for several holidays, he turned into this shameless person he is now.

But tonight... the Sorting Hat is acting out of character, starting to tell the story of the four main figures.

What? Gryffindor and Slytherin are half-brothers, their friendship is stronger than gold.

Or perhaps, Ravenclaw and her two useless men, and her gluttonous best friend—the badger-raising expert Hufflepuff.

Then, changing the subject, he told everyone about the differences among the four leaders and their departure from Hogwarts.

Finally, the Sorting Hat used the story of one wand breaking easily, but ten wands breaking to warn everyone:

We must unite.

To achieve an unbreakable friendship.

Has even the Sorting Hat, like Lovegood, taken the same path of toxic motivational platitudes?

If Hagrid weren't here, William would definitely have shown him something:

What does it mean that even twenty magic wands can be easily broken?

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(End of this chapter)