I'll wait for you amidst the romance of nature.

After Wang Lei's sudden passing, I began to reflect more deeply on life. I kept asking myself, how should I live? Is it really a dead end for people like me to stay in a big city?

It's not actually that extreme, but I definitely won't be happy because there are countless painful memories here, and I don't have much hope of earning enough money to establish myself here. I feel like I'm always living in a vortex of right and wrong, constantly struggling to cope.

I'm tired, and I've had enough pain.

As evening fell, golden rays of light, like waves on the sea, blanketed the streets and alleys of the city. I sat in one of the few remaining shadows, thinking of Lu Jia, and of Wang Lei, who had just left...

The transition from day to night was so swift, seemingly only the time it takes to smoke a cigarette. The city lights replaced the sunset's glow, becoming the very essence of the city. I stared, bewildered, until only the giant Maxwell House sign across the street remained clearly visible. The towering buildings seemed to transform into countless trees, forming an urban forest, while the corner where I sat became the most vulnerable spot, threatened from all sides, yet no one was willing to stand beside me anymore.

……

A phone rang, and I picked it up from the floor. It was my dad calling. I answered, "Dad."

Have you eaten?

"I ate. A colleague got married today, and I went to the wedding banquet."

"How's work lately?"

I lit a cigarette, not wanting to disappoint him, and gritted my teeth as I said, "It's fine."

"That's good. I know it's not easy for you in Shanghai, but Lu Jia is not getting any younger. Don't keep dragging her along like this. Find a suitable time to get married."

I was still lying: "It's probably not going to work this year... Lu Jia has been transferred to another job; she went abroad just last week."

"Go abroad! ...That's a long way, something bad could happen. Didn't you try to stop her?"

I laughed and replied, "Don't worry, Lu Jia isn't the kind of girl who's fickle. We've had a four-year relationship, how could things just fall apart like that!"

There was silence on the other end of the phone. After a long pause, someone said, "Your mother and I are both retired workers. We can't help you much. Just be mindful of your behavior and be sincere with that girl."

"Know."

"Let's bring Lu Jia back to our area for Chinese New Year this year. It's lively here, and it feels like Chinese New Year."

"Let's talk about it during the New Year; it's not even certain if she'll come back."

After chatting for a few minutes, I hung up the phone and then mustered up the courage to call Lu Jia again. This was the first time I had done this since she left, but the number I had dialed countless times had been canceled.

At that moment, I seemed to see Lu Jia's eagerness to sever ties with me. Actually, I didn't want to get entangled with her. I just wanted to ask her, the person who was once closest to me, whether life is treacherous or kind.

If she was full of kindness, then why did such a good woman like Wang Lei leave in such a heartbreaking and unfortunate way?

I threw down the phone and lay heavily on the ground. I saw the night sky with only the moon, like a mirror reflecting my own shattered self. I wanted to cry, but I didn't want to shed a single tear for this messed-up life.

……

Twenty-four hours later, the murderer who accidentally killed Wang Lei was apprehended. As the only person in the city connected to Wang Lei, I received her belongings. She didn't have many things; the cosmetics she could still use were given to her sisters as keepsakes. I only took her tablet computer and a notebook she used for keeping accounts.

Her biggest expense before her death was the 190,000 yuan she gave me. After that expense, she wrote: "Before May 12, 2008, I had a happy family. My father was a construction contractor, my mother only needed to be a wife and mother, and we were never short of money. I was a princess in everyone's eyes. After May 12, everything changed. The only thing that remained unchanged was that I was still a 'princess' in other people's eyes, but this time, envy turned into contempt… When I have insomnia, I often think, if it weren't for the 2008 earthquake, what kind of life would I be living now?… I don't dare to hope to go back to the past; I just want to change myself… Perhaps I've spent too long in the glitz and glamour of Shanghai, and I've become unable to believe in love, unable to believe that there are still people who can live so carefree in Dali… But this time, I'm truly moved. I also hope for that kind of love, I hope for a man who loves me and whom I love, who can take me on a motorcycle, and let us while away the time by Erhai Lake and under Cangshan Mountain… If we could open a guesthouse together in Dali, wouldn't this life be worthwhile?"

I didn't want to cry because of heartbreak, I didn't want to cry because of the burdens of life, but at this moment I was already sobbing uncontrollably. My mind was filled with Wang Lei's short and unfortunate life, and her unfinished dreams...

I want to break free, to break free from all constraints. I'll pretend that I died in this city with Wang Lei, and then choose a place to be reborn.

……

The day I quit my job, I painstakingly searched online for the song I had heard in the bar. Its melody and lyrics formed my last impression of Wang Lei, because it was in that bar that I saw Wang Lei alive for the last time.

I finally realized it was a song by Wang Feng called "Goodbye, 20th Century". I don't need to understand what he's trying to express in a deeper way. I'm already there, and I have to say goodbye to Shanghai.

I put on my headphones, turned the volume up to the maximum, and played this song over and over again. I took a taxi, a bus, and a subway, trying to see every corner of the city. Finally, I stopped at the world-renowned Bund. The Huangpu River was right at my feet, and in front of me were all kinds of people and endless streams of vehicles.

I stubbed out my cigarette and took out the tablet and ledger that Wang Lei had left behind from my backpack. The tablet had many of her selfies, symbolizing her beauty, and the ledger was filled with trivial details, reflecting her life.

I've made up my mind. I can leave everything behind in Shanghai, but I must take Wang Lei's beauty and life to Dali. Although she's gone, her dream remains.

……

On July 7.19th, I burned all my memories of Shanghai and Lu Jia on the rooftop, then packed my bags and took a bus to the train station. After a long journey, my next stop was Kunming.

Just as I was preparing to go through the ticket gate as usual, my former boss, Huang Heping, called me. I thought it was because some work had not been handed over properly.

I answered the phone with some doubt and asked, "Mr. Huang, is there something you need?"

Have you boarded the train?

"Get ready to check tickets."

"Don't check the tickets yet. A friend's daughter insists on driving to Dali, and she's having a huge fight with her family. It's thousands of kilometers away, how can we let her drive alone? You're going to Dali too, so it'll be good to have someone to look after her on the road. Make sure she doesn't drive while tired... By the way, can you drive?"

"Yes, I have a driver's license."

"Okay, I feel much more at ease knowing that the two of you are taking turns driving... She's in the train station parking lot right now, you should go find her quickly, I'll reimburse your train ticket and food and lodging expenses along the way."

After a moment's thought, I replied, "Driving is fine too. What's her license plate number?"

"The license plate ends in two 9s, it's a white Land Cruiser."

After hanging up Huang Heping's call, I put the train ticket back in my wallet and dragged my suitcase towards the parking lot outside the train station...

The sun was blazing outside, the asphalt road looked like it was melting. I stopped at a newsstand and bought two bottles of chilled mineral water. Then, peering through the mesh guardrail into the parking lot, I thought this girl must be daring and reckless. This 3000-kilometer stretch wasn't easy to drive, especially the sections in Hunan and Guizhou, which were winding mountain highways. Not only was it tiring, but it was also extremely dangerous. Without several years of driving experience, you really wouldn't dare attempt this route. Thinking about it, her family's concerns were quite valid.

Huang Heping has found the right person, because I grew up in the mountainous areas of Sichuan and am most familiar with these kinds of mountain roads.

……

After confirming the location of the white Land Cruiser, I entered the parking lot through a side door. I knocked on the car window, and she opened the door with great ceremony, then looked me up and down and asked, "Are you Uncle Mi, the one Uncle Huang introduced?"

"I'm not from the same generation as your Uncle Huang."

As I spoke, I gestured for her to open the trunk, but she took off her sunglasses, then bent over and leaned back, peering at me, who was completely covered by the brim of her hat, in an extremely awkward posture.

"One generation older than Uncle Huang! That must be... Grandpa Mi?"

I took off my hat and wiped the sweat from my face. Then I looked her over. She had her hair in a bun and looked to be about 170 cm tall. Her skin was so good that it seemed like you could squeeze collagen out of it. The youthful vitality she exuded was like an unknown world, completely different from Wang Lei or Lu Jia.

After she finished laughing, she said to me, "I know the next 3000 kilometers won't be easy, but as long as we uphold the principles of respecting the elderly and caring for the young, I believe we can still have a pleasant journey..."

I smiled, ignoring her teasing, and looked at her car, changing the subject by saying, "Nice car, quite suitable for mountain roads."

With a hint of pride, she replied, "Of course, this big thing was a 20th birthday present from my dad."

I nodded, and I learned a little more about this girl in her early twenties. Because one's choice of car can reflect one's personality to some extent, her choice of a niche car should reflect a wild and unrestrained youthful heart. If she were vain, she could have bought an X6 or a low-end Cayenne for the same price.

"Grandpa Mi, can we set off now?"

I tossed my backpack into the trunk of the car, then opened the passenger door under the scorching sun. Thus began my 3000-kilometer journey from Shanghai's largest train station.