The Nightmare Experience of a Useless Person

The room was filled with all sorts of trinkets that Yu Qingjun had collected, making it feel even more cramped now that the four of them were together.

Jiang Zhiyang changed Yu Qingjun into clean clothes, but he was still flustered. He had to hold her in his arms and interlock his fingers to find a moment of peace.

"The reason you were able to remain conscious in the Nightmare Beast's dream, and even awaken Qingjun, is because there is a trace of her divine soul within you."

"Divine soul? Qingjun, is Qingjun a god?"

"It used to be, and it is now... The reasons are too long to explain in detail. In short, Qingjun's situation is complicated. She is now barely prolonging her life with the spiritual power of the Nightmare Beast, which is not a long-term solution. She must pass away and enter the cycle of reincarnation again." Bai Chan took out a book, which was Yu Qingjun's Dream Record.

Jiang Zhiyang finally freed one hand to take the dusty scroll. He carefully unfolded it, only to find that the paper was yellowed, the writing was blurry, and the content was incomplete.

"It is because of me that she has lost her memory and her nightmares are incomplete, preventing her from crossing the Bridge of Rebirth. Now, I have taken the liberty of using the divine soul within you as a guide to send you into the dream. Please help her complete her nightmares and send her to the afterlife."

"Okay." Jiang Zhiyang agreed. Although he was confused, fearful, and lost, he knew that in the haze, he and the girl in his arms were destined for each other.

The little fox touched his heart, and at first it was a warm flow, but gradually it became painful, as if a huge and intricate root was being forcibly peeled from the soil, bit by bit, thread by thread, stirring the entire chest cavity into a bloody mess.

Jiang Zhiyang didn't cry out in pain, letting the fine sweat dampen his forehead and blur his vision. He held her hand, the hand that always gave him a sense of security.

"Without this wisp of divine soul, you will have no memory after entering the dream, and you will not be able to awaken Qingjun as before. If something goes wrong, you may be lost in the dream for the rest of your life and never wake up again." The little fox paused. This was the first time Jiang Zhiyang had seen concern and worry in her eyes. "This path is destined to be difficult. I can only rely on you. As for me... I have sins to atone for. The road ahead is long. Excuse me."

"you……"

"When Qingjun wakes up, please give this to her."

It was a letter, so directly expressing a farewell that could not be spoken.

"What are you doing?" Jiang Zhiyang suddenly looked up, his eyes instantly filled with tears.

"Take her away. Once my spiritual power dissipates, this Dream-Seeking Tavern will collapse."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" the man behind me asked timidly, his hands clenched into fists, his nails digging deep into his flesh. He wasn't sure if he still had the right to care, yet he couldn't help but move closer.

"Yes."

When Jiang Zhiyang left the Dream Chaser Tavern, it was late at night. He stood there, holding the sleeping Yu Qingjun in his arms.

Behind them, the swaying seven tails resembled a gardenia bud about to bloom. In the instant of its bloom, it exuded a dazzling brilliance, and the scattered spiritual energy was like a silent firework that ignited the vast sky above.

In an instant, the light scattered and the petals fell.

He looked up, hot tears falling, and his vision finally cleared. Countless petals fluttered and swayed, like a snowstorm, so moving, so sorrowful and desolate, their unrestrained grandeur foreshadowing a silent end.

Pure white petals fell on his face, leaving a warm sensation. Jiang Zhiyang could no longer hold on, his arms gave way, and he knelt on the ground, the letter he was holding between his fingers fluttering to the ground.

The envelope was not completely sealed, and several sheets of paper were unfolded in front of him. Jiang Zhiyang carefully bent down and picked up the papers with trembling hands. The words on the papers were crooked and were still wet with a few drops of undried tears.

……

Yu Qingjun, my friend,

By the time you read this letter, I will probably have turned back into a powerless fox. Unfortunately, I can't just walk away cleanly. I still have to use this frail body to carry the core of the Dream God and support the entrance to the beautiful dream.

Don't rush to pity me, because once you know the truth, you'll definitely regret not killing me with your own hands.

A hundred years ago, I found a fragment of spirit in Linmeng Abyss. It would have vanished in no time, but its faint light was extraordinary. I not only nurtured it with the spiritual power of the Nightmare Beast, but also found it a human girl's body. I even changed its body every hundred years, disregarding its wishes.

So you, once the lofty God of Life and Wish, have been reduced to a nightmare beast, detached from life and death, tormented by nightmares every day, unable to find peace.

The days in Linmengyuan were torture for me. Loneliness and solitude tormented me from an innocent little fox into a cold-blooded demon. I killed all the Nightmare Beasts that escaped into Linmengyuan and used their spiritual power to create a dream world of my own to record that past that I was unwilling to accept and could not let go of.

I'm really embarrassed to let you see my painful past.

I saved you not because I am inherently kind, but to use you to capture the Nightmare Beasts that have escaped to the human world, to fill that endless void.

But I couldn't give up my hypocritical facade, nor could I bring up that past with anyone. So I lied to you again, asking you to untie the knots in the hearts of those Nightmare Beasts, so that they would willingly perish under the Bone-Eating Blade, to appease my few remaining consciences. I killed them, refined them. Not a single Nightmare Beast that died under your blade survived; they all became nourishment for me to raise my dreams, without exception.

Wandering through the nightmare beast's dream consumes your spiritual power, blurs your memories, and torments you with nightmares, yet you can't remember its full picture, forever immersed in inexplicable pain.

To be honest, seeing you like this, I can't bear it. But how can the truth end what started as a lie? You're in so much pain, even contemplating suicide, all because of me.

How about it? I look quite ugly now that I've torn off my fox skin, don't I? But I feel shamelessly relieved to tell you these truths. Being with you every day is like boiling a frog in lukewarm water, burning my skin, yet I still pray that silence can maintain the current stability.

I accompanied you on every adventure, watching you struggle to escape the loves and hates of the masses, and personally experiencing the bitterness and suffering of those nightmare beasts. I realized more and more that I had made one mistake after another, and that my sins were unforgivable.

It was me. I severed all their chances of rebirth, cutting off their cherished past lives. I was cold-blooded and insane. I had my own unresolved past, yet I deprived others of their precious things.

Yet, I lack the courage to tell you my sins in person, nor do I dare to ask for your forgiveness. Now, I am willing to give up my most precious possession in exchange for a chance to escape. With my seven-tailed life, I will shatter the illusion, reunite the spirits of the Nightmare Beasts, and guide those Nightmare Spirits I have harmed to their next life. Of course, I know that this is far from enough. I will atone for my sins in this life and for all eternity.

My friend, Qingjun, may you successfully fill the void left by nightmares, let go of the past, re-enter the cycle of reincarnation, completely escape the current mess, and become an ordinary person, peaceful and joyful, with good fortune, and a happy autumn and winter.

In this life, or perhaps in all the future lives, if fate allows, we will meet again...