My absurd experiences in North America over the years

The female employer lives in the suburbs of Los Angeles.

In China, housing prices are higher the closer to the city center, while in the United States, it's the opposite; in Los Angeles, housing prices are higher the closer to the suburbs.

After all, what truly wealthy people want is not extravagance, but tranquility.

The farther away from the city center, the farther away from the army of homeless people and drug addicts.

Li Fu roughly calculated that the average house price in the area where his employer lived was more than a thousand times his current net worth, so he must be extremely wealthy and powerful.

It's possible that she spends two hundred dollars a day hiring a bodyguard, which is about the same as an ordinary person buying a cup of coffee.

Thinking about this, Li Fu suddenly felt that he had agreed too readily and should try to persuade him; perhaps the daily wage could be increased to five hundred US dollars.

On his way to his employer's address, he was still somewhat uneasy.

He had absolutely no experience as a professional bodyguard, and the few days he spent filming the video were just for fun. It's impossible for an employer to expect him to have all the qualities of a high-level bodyguard.

But things are different now. Employers are either rich or powerful, they pay real money, and their demands are definitely higher.

He tried out several expressions in front of the bus window, including a serious smile and a cold one...

In the end, he decided it was better to be ruthless.

In movies and TV dramas, characters are generally portrayed as cool, taciturn, and professional.

The bus crossed half of Los Angeles.

The bus was packed with Mexican laborers heading home from get off work and students just out of school, and the air was thick with the smells of tortillas and cheap perfume.

Fortunately, most of these people got off the bus in the city.

He leaned against the car window, watching the street scene outside slowly transform from the kimchi signs of Koreatown to the palm trees and neon lights of Hollywood, and finally to the brightly lit mansions on the hillside.

He finally got off the bus in the suburbs.

Li Fu walked for about five minutes according to the address and stopped in front of a white apartment building.

The apartment building wasn't very tall, about five or six stories. The exterior was made of marble, and there were two tall shrubs trimmed into spherical shapes at the entrance, as well as two uniformed doormen.

The security guard stopped him because he was a stranger and asked him to show his identification or contact the homeowner before letting him in.

This is the norm in affluent neighborhoods; security personnel are armed, and if someone forces their way in, other armed security personnel stationed around the community will immediately come to their aid.

As for the homeless people sleeping on the streets, they can't even get into this area.

What documents did Li Fu have? He had no choice but to call his employer to explain the situation. Soon after, the security guard received instructions over his walkie-talkie to let Li Fu through.

Li Fu successfully entered the apartment building. There was a huge mirror in the elevator, and he checked his appearance one last time in front of it.

His beard was clean-shaven, and his skin was a healthy wheat color without any acne marks or scars. Apart from a not-so-obvious scar at the corner of his eye, although his body had been ravaged, his face was still quite good-looking.

In network terminology, the modeling was a bit over the top.

When the elevator reached the sixth floor, he took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. The doorbell rang three times, and the sound of high heels on the floor came from inside.

Li Fu had prepared all his lines.

Phrases like "Hello, I'm the bodyguard you booked on YouTube" and "It's my pleasure to serve you"... but all these lines got stuck in his throat the moment he opened the door.

The person who opened the door was a young girl, or more precisely, a European or American girl who looked like she had stepped out of a magazine cover.

The other person was probably not even twenty years old, with long golden hair draped over their shoulders. It wasn't the kind of bleached, fake gold, but rather had a real texture, like the color of winter sunlight shining through the clouds.

Her eyes were also beautiful; her light blue pupils shone like phosphorescence in the deep sea under the light.

In reality, Li Fu had never seen such a beautiful European or American girl before, and coincidentally, she was dressed very sexily at the moment.

She was wearing only a black slip dress, the length of which was just to mid-thigh, with a small piece of lace decoration below her collarbone, which was faintly visible under the light, and her skin was so white that it almost glowed.

Li Fu preferred the cool and delicate ivory white.

To be honest, after he traveled to Los Angeles, he saw many white girls on the street, including some beauties, but seven or eight out of ten of them wanted to tan themselves to the color of a Maine lobster.

This girl was clearly not among them. She was leaning against the door frame, holding a drink that looked like a mix of vodka and Red Bull, with a straw sticking out of the rim.

He was tilting his head and looking Li Fu up and down, his gaze slowly sweeping from Li Fu's face to his feet, and then back from his feet to his face.

The whole process lasted about three seconds, like a customs officer inspecting a suspicious passport.

"You're that... Chinese bodyguard on YouTube?" The blonde girl's voice had a heavy southern accent.

The voice was soft and gentle, like a marshmallow soaked in honey, but the speaking speed was quite fast, and the last syllable of each word seemed to be swallowed up.

"It's me," Li Fu nodded slowly, trying to make his voice sound deep and professional, "Twenty dollars a day is a promotional price, now..."

"I know, two hundred a day," the blonde girl turned and walked into the house, her high heels clicking crisply on the marble floor. "Come in! Don't stand at the door like an FBI agent. I haven't broken any laws, at least not tonight."

Li Fu followed her inside, then stopped in his tracks. The apartment was ridiculously large; the living room was about five or six times the size of his entire rented apartment.

Outside the floor-to-ceiling windows is the night view of Hollywood Hills, with the Griffith Observatory in the distance lit up by a white dome light, looking like a pearl embedded in the mountaintop.

The sofa is genuine leather, and the TV is about sixty inches... A sixty-inch TV in 2006, the price of that thing was enough for him to pay more than two years' rent.

However, the room was quite messy. Several pieces of clothing and shopping bags were thrown on the sofa, and three or four empty cups and a half-empty bottle of Grey Goose vodka were on the coffee table... There was also a small mirror and a folded credit card.

When Li Fu saw that, his pupils contracted slightly. As perceptive as he was, he immediately noticed that there seemed to be some suspicious powder on the bank debit card.

Could this girl be a drug addict?

That would be such a shame, such a beautiful girl.

"Don't get me wrong," the blonde girl noticed his gaze, picked up the credit card and shook it, "I don't touch that stuff, this is for scraping candle wax."

"How could I be? I'm a professional, I don't get nervous under any circumstances." Li Fu shrugged, pretending to be relaxed.

"You must be nervous," the blonde girl turned around and tapped his shoulder with her index finger. "Your shoulder shrugged up by about two centimeters just now. That's too high; it looks like you're deliberately trying to hide it."

Li Fu looked down at his shoulder and realized that he had indeed used too much force just now.

He had to admit that this slightly tipsy girl had a much better eye for observation than he had imagined.

However, he wasn't really nervous; it was more like he was feeling regretful.

The blonde girl tilted her head back and poured the remaining liquid in the cup into her mouth, her expression suggesting she was swallowing some bitter medicine.

Then, she put the empty cup on the coffee table, took out a lipstick from her small handbag, and skillfully applied a layer in front of the phone's front camera.

Mobile phones with cameras already existed in 2006. Although the screens were pitifully small and the pixel counts were incredibly low, they were still considered cutting-edge technological products.

"Let's go, the car is downstairs," the blonde girl said, pursing her lips to distribute her lipstick evenly.

"Where to?" Li Fu asked.

"Of course we're going to have fun. Do you think I paid two hundred dollars to invite you here just so you could stay home and watch movies?" the blonde girl said humorously.

Li Fu found himself unable to refute.

A black Cadillac Escalade, a typical luxury SUV, was parked downstairs, its body gleaming coldly under the streetlights.

The license plate frame was printed with a Latin motto that he couldn't understand, probably from some expensive private university.

Los Angeles has many prestigious universities.

"Can you drive?" the blonde girl asked.

Li Fu knows how to drive, but he doesn't have a local driver's license.

"We only discussed bodyguard work, not drivers..."

"I'm asking if you can drive?"

"Of course, but if it's for part-time driving..."

The girl with golden hair frowned slightly. "What will happen?"

"It'll cost extra," Li Fu replied decisively, knowing he was driving without a license and taking a huge risk.

"OK, double pay, okay?" The blonde girl thought it was some kind of request.

Li Fu opened the car door and got in. He was fearless. What did it matter if he drove without a license? He was still an unregistered resident!

The car quickly drove out of the apartment driveway and soon merged into the traffic on Hollywood Boulevard.

The neon lights outside the window cast long trails of light across the car window, with red, blue, and purple lights overlapping and separating on the glass.

The girl in golden hair leaned against the car window, looking at the brightly lit signs outside, appearing somewhat silent.

Li Fu secretly glanced at her in the rearview mirror.

The employer didn't seem like someone going to a nightclub to party; he seemed more like someone who thought, "I'm going to die anyway, might as well have a couple of drinks to bolster my courage," before heading to the execution ground.

This is most likely a sign of nervousness.

"Your name is Li Fu, right?" the blonde girl suddenly asked.

Li Fu nodded, but quickly realized that the other party shouldn't know his real name; they must have investigated him beforehand.

"You can call me Lucy, but only in private."

She didn't like the old-fashioned name, but her father liked its meaning—a person who brings light and wisdom.

"Okay, Miss Lucy," Li Fu said, not understanding why he could only address her privately, but he didn't ask any further questions.

Lucy looked out the window and stopped talking.

After about twenty minutes of driving, Li Fu, following Lucy's instructions, drove through the heart of Hollywood and then turned into a small alley.

Finally, it stopped in front of an iron gate near Sunset Boulevard.

The alley was narrow, the walls on both sides were covered with graffiti, and there was a strange smell in the air that was a mixture of urine and barbecue.

In North America, urinating or defecating anywhere is still too authoritative.

As an aside, in 2018, San Francisco Mayor London Breed spearheaded a landmark project. The government spent $750,000 hiring six sanitation workers and two trucks to patrol and clean up excrement on streets and sidewalks around the clock.

Yes, it's actually quite common to see feces on streets and sidewalks.

Later, the non-profit organization "Open The Books" created an app based on publicly available government data to mark the location of feces. The result was an extremely large amount of data, with city maps filled with markers, creating a strong visual impact.

Los Angeles is a bit better than San Francisco, but it doesn't seem to be much better.

Nightclubs can manage what's in front of their own stores, but they can't manage the surrounding streets. There are too many rude people and homeless people, and everyone has gotten used to it.

The nightclub that Li Fu and Lucy came to had a black iron gate and a not-so-bright sign. Next to the doorknob was a small silver sign with a logo that Li Fu couldn't understand, which looked like two letters stacked together in an artistic style.

When Lucy got out of the car, she suddenly leaned close to Li Fu's ear and whispered a few words. There was a hint of alcohol in her breath, but her voice was very clear and unambiguous.

"Once inside, I'll call you Little Cake, don't call me Lucy," she said, glancing at the burly man in a black suit standing by the iron gate. "Also, if anyone asks, tell them you're my boyfriend."

Li Fu raised an eyebrow. "There couldn't possibly be such a clause in the bodyguard agreement, could there?"

"An agreement?" Lucy laughed, her laughter echoing through the alley, as crisp as if someone had tossed a handful of coins onto the ground.

The burly man in the black suit next to the iron gate turned his head and looked over. His gaze lingered on her for a moment, then shifted to Li Fu, and he began to look him up and down.

"You're still talking about agreements? Can you sign a formal contract? Do you have a tax ID?" Lucy asked in a low voice.

With each word she spoke, she patted Li Fu on the chest. The force wasn't strong, but each pat landed on the hardest muscle in his chest, making a soft "thump" sound.

"You have nothing, brother," Lucy withdrew her hand, tilted her head to look at him, and said, word by word, "You and the name Little Cake are both fake."

Li Fu was silent for about two seconds, then he spoke expressionlessly, "OK, I can agree to that, but..."

"But what?" Lucy tilted her head and looked at him.

"I'm a respectable man from a respectable family. I'll have to pay extra to play your boyfriend," Li Fuyi said sternly.

Lucy was clearly taken aback for a moment, then suddenly burst into laughter, the kind of laughter that made her double over.

She bent over, one hand on her knee, the other covering her lower abdomen, her blonde hair falling down to cover her face, her shoulders trembling.

"Who in their rightful family is an unregistered resident?" She straightened up and wiped away the tears that had welled up in her eyes with the back of her hand. Her light blue eyes seemed to be sparkling at that moment.

"I'm talking about matters of the heart," Li Fu replied earnestly without backing down.

"Really a decent guy? No messy relationships, past or present?" Lucy was clearly a little skeptical.

She's so good-looking, even if she were poor, it wouldn't be a problem.

"Absolutely genuine," Li Fu nodded. The person he transmigrated into was completely clueless about romance.

"Okay, I'll give you a raise. Three times your salary should satisfy you, right?" Lucy didn't hesitate at all when she heard him say that; she wasn't short of money at all.

"OK, from this moment on, I will obey your orders." Li Fu smiled and bowed.

Triple pay means a daily wage of $600.

"Let's go, my boyfriend," Lucy said, reaching out to take his hand.

Li Fu felt that her fingertips were icy cold, like a spoon just taken out of the refrigerator, but her palms were slightly damp.

She was probably sweating, which means she was very nervous at the moment.

"Relax a little, don't be nervous," Li Fu said, his fingers tightening slightly as he held her cold hand, half-jokingly, "You're squeezing my fingers so hard they're about to break."

"Shut up," Lucy glared at him, but didn't let go.

Behind the iron gate was a narrow corridor with walls painted a deep red that looked like congealed blood under the overhead spotlights.

Every three meters there is an abstract painting that I can't understand, probably the work of some art student.

At the end of the corridor was a velvet curtain, wine red in color, as heavy as a theater curtain, from which came low electronic music and a noisy buzzing sound.

Lucy paused in front of the curtain, took a deep breath, and slightly raised her shoulders before letting them fall again.

Li Fu felt her hand clench in his palm, as if she were making a major decision.

Then, she pulled him through the curtain.

The music suddenly blasted.

Li Fu felt the vibrations of the bass guitar coming up from the floor, passing through his shoes, ankles, and shinbones, all the way to his teeth, and even the back of his head was buzzing.

The lighting was so dim it was as if someone had replaced all the light bulbs in the world with 30-watt bulbs. Only a few rotating colored spotlights cast changing spots of light on the ceiling, with various colors switching in turn, making everyone's face look like a Halloween mask.

The air was filled with the scent of perfume and some cloyingly sweet cocktail.

Li Fu had never been to such an occasion before.