First, then, love.

He Zheng frowned deeply upon hearing the word "death".

His heart felt like it was being gripped tightly by an invisible hand, the pain making it hard for him to breathe.

He buried his head in the crook of her neck, took a deep breath, and greedily inhaled her clean, sweet scent.

This taste made him feel alive again after three days and three nights of hellish torment.

"I am not dead, but the evil will live on for a thousand years."

He rubbed his chin against the side of her neck, the stubble of his beard tickling her skin.

"When we went there, there was an emergency mission. As soon as we boarded the helicopter, we were all required to shut down our phones and hand over our communication equipment. This was a strict order, and no one could disobey it."

He began to explain to her, revealing himself bit by bit.

"Later, when the mission was over and I got my phone back, I didn't turn it on."

Shu Yao was startled and stopped sobbing.

"Why isn't it turning on?" she asked, puzzled.

He Zheng remained silent for two seconds.

His large hand slid down her neck and patted her back reassuringly.

"Because I don't dare."

These words, spoken by a tough guy who had survived countless battles, carried an incongruous vulnerability.

Shu Yao opened her eyes wide and looked at his face, which was so close to hers.

Don't dare?

Does someone like He Zheng even have the word "dare" in his dictionary?

"The abandoned factory was full of desperados armed with submachine guns."

He Zheng's voice was low, as if he were recalling something from a distant past.

"I led the team in the main attack, charging ahead at the forefront."

"At that time, I couldn't have any distracting thoughts or be even slightly distracted."

He looked up, his gaze fixed intently on her.

"If I turn on my computer and see you throwing a tantrum, seeing you yelling at me, or..."

He paused, his Adam's apple bobbing laboriously.

"I heard you cry."

"I get distracted."

He Zheng stared into her eyes and said, word by word.

"On that kind of battlefield, if my hand trembled even a millimeter, it could mean the death of my comrades, or even my own."

Shu Yao's breathing stopped.

She never considered the issue from his perspective.

She only knew that she was afraid and felt wronged, but she didn't know how much pressure he was under when facing a life-or-death situation.

"and."

He Zheng's gaze shifted downwards, landing on the thick medical gauze wrapped around his left shoulder.

"I was shot and bled a little."

He briefly summarized the harrowing experience of being wounded.

"Field first aid, the gauze was wrapped very roughly, and he was covered in blood."

He looked at her again, a hint of awkward helplessness flashing in his eyes.

"You usually cry even if you prick your finger with a rose thorn."

"If I reply to your messages, you'll definitely ask all sorts of questions. If I don't answer the video call, you'll be even more scared."

He gently pinched her soft earlobe with his fingers.

"If I answer the phone, you'll see me looking like this, covered in blood, while you're alone at home, hundreds of kilometers away."

He Zheng sighed, his voice so low it was almost inaudible.

You'd be scared to death, crying your eyes out.

He would rather she be angry with him, he would rather she call him a bastard, he would rather she think he was cheating on her.

He didn't want her to be alone in the empty house late at night, worrying about his injuries and crying her heart out.

This is He Zheng.

Four days and four nights of fear, the grievance of being alone in an empty house, and the despair of watching the bloody and gruesome images on the news.

At this moment, everything has a place of origin and a place of destination.

She always thought so.

This marriage was nothing more than a partnership.

She held firm to her principles.

He lived a life of constant danger and peril.

No interference.

But this barbarian, this caveman who doesn't even recognize a face wash that costs 2,800 yuan.

He would rather bear her misunderstanding and anger, and endure her barrage of insults.

He didn't want her, who was hundreds of kilometers away, to worry through his phone screen.

Shu Yao stared intently at the man pressing down on her.

Looking at his sunken eye sockets, the thick red blood vessels under his eyes, and the hideous wound on the left side of his face covered with a thick scab.

My vision gradually became blurry.

Moisture gathered wildly in my eyes, condensing into large, hot teardrops.

A tear rolled down without warning.

The water droplets fell onto the gray cotton pillowcase, quickly spreading into a small, dark stain.

Then came the second drop, and the third drop.

Once the floodgates were opened, the tears flowed like beads from a broken string, impossible to control.

Shu Yao bit her lower lip until it turned white, her chest heaving violently, and tears silently and surging down her face.

He Zheng looked at her like this.

A hint of panic flashed in his dark eyes.

He faced vicious criminals outside without even blinking, and even with a submachine gun barrel pressed against his forehead, his hand didn't tremble.

But now, looking at the woman beneath him, crying silently with red eyes.

The SWAT captain's heart, which was as hard as iron, was completely thrown off balance.

"Why are you crying?"

He spoke, his voice hoarse, his hands and feet at a loss.

"I've returned unharmed, haven't I?"

He Zheng raised his hand and slowly covered her face, clumsily wiping away her tears.

"Don't cry."

The gun cocoon brushed against Shu Yao's delicate, fair skin under her eyes.

It feels like fine sandpaper, and it hurts a little.

Shu Yao tilted her head, trying to avoid his touch.

"What are you hiding from?"

He Zheng gave a low shout, and his hand slid down to grab her small chin.

With a light touch, he forcibly turned her face back to face him.

"Look at me," he commanded.

Shu Yao was forced to open her teary, peach-blossom eyes and look directly at him.

"You bastard."

She sobbed as she forced out those three words through clenched teeth, her voice thick with nasal tone.

"What gives you the right to make decisions for me? Who do you think you are, a superhero?"

Tears flowed even more fiercely, streaming down his cheeks and across the base of his thumb.

"Do you know how I got through these four days? I didn't even dare to sleep. I was afraid that if I closed my eyes, that white sheet on TV would be covering you."

"I ate and vomited, vomited and ate again. This dilapidated house is so big it's like a haunted house. Even the God of War doesn't eat."

"And you, you come back with a deadpan expression, complaining about being dirty. What gives you the right...?"

The more she talked, the more aggrieved and angry she became.

She broke free from his grasp, and her two small, white fists rained down on his broad, hard chest.

He Zheng did not dodge, letting her vent her anger.

She even straightened her back slightly to make it easier for her to hit it.

"Smash it then." His voice was deep, his chest vibrating slightly as he spoke. "Smash it however you want, as long as it helps you calm down."

Shu Yao slammed the fist a few times, her hand bones aching from the hard muscles.

She stopped what she was doing, sniffed, and glared at him with red eyes.

"Do you think I'm being particularly unreasonable and immature?" She bit her lip, her voice revealing a hidden vulnerability.