Disciplining Emperor Gaozu of Han

"Uh..." Liu Ying watched the whole process with disbelief on her face, making a strange sound.

Liu Bang's insults were intolerable; logically, Sui He and his followers should have rebelled collectively. However, Sui He was tricked and provoked, accepting this difficult task.

If this were in later generations, this would certainly be the outcome. However, this was the end of the Qin Dynasty, less than twenty years after the end of the Warring States period. The Warring States period was characterized by chivalry and righteous indignation, and people were most susceptible to provocation. Once provoked, some would draw their swords and kill, while others would try to make you look at them with new respect.

Just like the modern meme, if you looked down on me before, I'll make you regret it.

boom.

Bing grabbed the wine cup with his right hand and slammed it to the ground. Pointing at Liu Bang with his right hand, he shouted, "Liu Bang, listen up! I'll take this on. So what if I go to Jiujiang County? Even if it's a mountain of knives and a sea of ​​fire, I won't flinch."

Bang bang bang.

The group of advisors smashed the wine vessel with all their might, as if the vessel had killed their fathers. They all held their heads high, patted their chests, and were determined to accomplish this and let Liu Bang know how powerful they were.

Having successfully provoked him, Liu Bang was still not satisfied. Pointing at He Bing and the others with his right hand, he cursed them, spitting everywhere: "You bunch of good-for-nothings, all you do is talk big. Anyone can talk big, but you can't do anything great."

Sui He drew his sword from his waist, gripped the hilt with his right hand, and pulled the blade with his left, cutting his palm and drawing blood. He opened his left palm and said to Liu Bang, "King of Han, see this clearly. Sui He cut his palm to swear that if he cannot accomplish this, he will not live in this world."

"If this fails, I will not live in this world." Bingru followed He's example, drawing his sword and cutting his palm as a solemn oath.

The same applies to the staff.

"King of Han, if you want us to accomplish this, you must grant me three requests," Sui He said.

"Speak." Liu Bang was pleased with himself for successfully provoking him, but he did not show it.

"The most important thing is that if we succeed, the King of Han must publicly admit that we are not even as good as dogs. Otherwise, we will not be able to vent our hatred." Sui He proposed the conditions.

"Great! Lucky!" Bing and the others echoed.

Liu Bang insulted them, saying they were worse than dogs. So Liu Bang should be made worse than a dog; otherwise, the hatred in their hearts cannot be satisfied.

Liu Ying glanced at Sui He, thinking to herself, "Can't you guys make something more difficult? Does that old rogue Liu care about that?"

As long as the matter is accomplished, there will be no problem in getting Liu Bang to admit that he is not even as good as a dog, let alone that he is not as good as any animal.

"Agreed!" Liu Bang readily agreed.

Bing and the others stared at Liu Bang, as if to say, "Just you wait and see, you'll be worse than a dog."

"Secondly, we need a letter from the King of Han," Sui He added.

"This is easy," Liu Bang said, waving his right hand. "Brother, write a letter to Ying Bu for me."

"Yes, sir." Lü Ze accepted the order.

"No," Sui He tried to stop him, saying, "Nothing can be accomplished without a letter personally written by the King of Han."

"I want to write it myself?" Liu Bang's eyes widened, clearly displeased. "What's wrong with my elder brother writing it for me?"

"This matter is of utmost importance and cannot be taken lightly. It must be written by the King of Han himself," Sui He insisted.

"You brat, don't push your luck!" Liu Bang roared in fury, grabbing a wine cup with his right hand and smashing it heavily against Sui He.

A strong wind was blowing, and it was quite powerful.

He lowered his head, deftly dodging the question, but still insisted: "It must be written by the King of Han himself."

"You..." Liu Bang gritted his teeth.

"It's just a letter, why don't you just write it?" Liu Ying was speechless.

"You unfilial son!" Liu Bang slapped Liu Ying on the back of the head, his anger blazing.

"What's wrong with you?" Liu Ying rubbed the back of her head, completely bewildered.

"Since the King of Han is unwilling to write it in his own hand, let's find someone more capable." Sui He clasped his hands in a fist and was about to leave.

"I...I'll write it." Liu Bang gritted his teeth, as if asking him to write it by hand would cost him his life.

"Thank you for your trouble, King Han." Sui He clasped his hands in a salute.

"Serve me with pen and ink," Liu Bang spat out through gritted teeth.

Immediately someone brought over writing brush, ink, and yellow silk.

The main writing tools of this era were bamboo slips and wooden tablets, in addition to cloth. Ordinary people could write on hemp or silk. As the King of Han, Liu Bang certainly couldn't be so shabby, so he had his own special cloth, namely yellow silk.

The yellow silk was as bright and shiny as gold, giving it a luxurious look. Furthermore, the workmanship was excellent, the quality was high, and the feel was superb.

Xiahou Ying ground the ink, and Lü Ze helped spread the yellow silk on the long table. Liu Bang picked up the brush, dipped it in the thick ink, and wrote on the yellow silk, "Bang informs Brother Bu..."

His handwriting was illegible; even kindergarten kids could write better.

Liu Ying finally understood why Liu Bang was so reluctant to write by hand: the handwriting was simply too ugly to bear.

"Pfft." Liu Ying couldn't hold back any longer and burst out laughing.

Liu Bang glared at Liu Ying, cursed him as a rebellious son, and continued writing.

Old Liu was most skilled at cursing. He turned a letter into a classic of cursing, using insults like "Xiang the scoundrel," "a mere brat," "worse than a dog," and "the courage of a commoner" throughout.

They vilified Xiang Yu to the point of being inhuman, even calling him some kind of immature animal.

Finally, there's the line, "Xiang Yu's strength is all in his muscles, so he's weak in the groin and can't enjoy so many beauties. He can only favor Yu Ji."

Xiang Yu deeply loved Yu Ji and regarded her as a treasure, which became Liu Bei's insult.

Liu Ying thought to himself, if Xiang Yu were to read this letter, he would be so angry that he would vomit blood.

After Liu Bang finished writing, he put down his brush, looked at it with wide eyes, and was extremely satisfied. He beckoned to Sui He, "Come and take a look. This is absolutely a masterpiece, even better than Li Si's 'Memorial on Expelling Foreign Guests'."

At that time, there were many famous articles, but the most famous was Li Si's "Memorial on Expelling Foreign Guests," which was not only brilliantly written but also had a great political influence.

"Your Majesty, what fine writing!" Sui He exclaimed with delight, then hurried over, his eyes widening in astonishment. "Your Majesty, you call this a letter?"

"No literary talent whatsoever! But when it comes to cursing, he's unmatched in the world!" Bing strode over, finished reading Liu Bang's letter, and grinned mockingly.

"King Han, this matter is not to be taken lightly; it must be rewritten." Sui He was very dissatisfied.

"You brat, if you want me to write it in my own hand, then so be it, take it or leave it!" Liu Bang roared.

Old Liu, a complete scoundrel, has never read a book in his life and is utterly ignorant. Asking him to write a proper letter is simply impossible; that would be asking too much of him. Even if he wrote it ten times, it would be the same; there would be no change.

"Such an important matter cannot be treated lightly," Lü Ze said to Liu Bang. "Have Sui He and the others draft a document, and you can simply copy it once."

"Good." This is a good idea, so they readily agreed.

Liu Bang was very dissatisfied. He rolled his eyes, his gaze flashing with a fierce light: "How could I, the King of Han, be allowed to engage in such petty official duties?"

Liu Bang could eat meat and drink wine a thousand times without getting tired of it, and he could write letters, even just copying them, and he would never get tired of it.

"You..." Lu Ze was furious.

"Actually, this is quite good," Liu Ying suddenly said.

"Ying'er, look at these wild and insolent words! What's so good about them?" Lü Ze glared at Liu Ying.

"Ying'er has a discerning eye." Liu Bang was overjoyed, stroking Liu Ying's head with his right hand, his face full of affection.

"It would be even better if it were modified," Liu Ying added.

"How should it be modified?" Liu Bang asked, puzzled.

Liu Ying picked up a brush, dipped it in thick ink, and began to scribble on the letter, erasing numbers with each stroke. After a certain distance, he would erase more numbers. He continued like this, and in no time, Liu Bang's letter was completely smeared.

"You unfilial son, how dare you ruin my masterpiece?" Liu Bang was furious and slapped Liu Ying on the back of the head with his right hand.

"A stroke of genius!" Sui He's vision cleared, and he reached out his right hand to grab Liu Bang's hand, overjoyed.

"What divine inspiration?" Bing asked, puzzled.

Lü Ze and Xiahou Ying were equally puzzled.

"A stroke of genius!" Liu Bang's eyes lit up, his face beaming. "Well done, Ying'er! What a brilliant plan!"