Huayu: Starting from an Unemployed Male Model

Guo Xuefu moved a chair over and sat next to Wei Jun. Wearing a sleeveless dress, she would occasionally "unconsciously" rub her fair arms against Wei Jun's arm, pretending that she was very familiar with Wei Jun and that they were having a good chat.

"Do you know what the afternoon's shooting schedule is?" Wei Jun asked, addressing the question he was concerned about.

"I don't know, we'll find out when Brother Han comes over," Guo Xuefu said in a strained voice. "But these are pretty much all the guests today, plus Qian Feng and Tian Yuan, they're with Brother Han."

"There should be five or six senior agents this time too." Wei Jun had watched a few episodes of "Mars Intelligence Agency." The senior agent team consisted of four permanent agents and two flying agents.

"There are six of us in this cohort of senior agents, including you. As for the others," Guo Xuefu looked up and gestured to the group of pretty girls on the other side, "they are all mid-level agents sitting in the second row. Brother Han sometimes calls on a few mid-level agents to speak when he's in a good mood."

Wei Jun sneered. "Only when he's in a good mood does he call on a few mid-level agents to speak?"

Do you think I believe that? Without an entertainment company backing him up, Wang Han wouldn't bother with you.

Wei Jun followed her gaze to the group of women dressed in brightly colored clothes. When he saw Wen Ya, Zhao Lusi, and Cheng Xiao, his eyes swept over Zhao Lusi and Cheng Xiao, and the two of them smiled and greeted him.

Wei Jun nodded politely in response, but his eyes unconsciously drifted to Cheng Xiao's ample chest. It was really big; it's a pity she lost a cup size after dieting.

Zhao Lusi has probably just signed with Galaxy Cool Entertainment and is officially debuting as a newcomer.

Cheng Xiao was probably brought on by Yuehua Entertainment to appear on variety shows.

That's how the entertainment industry is. Those without fame can only sit in the back, waiting for others to give them a few shots, and they have to be extremely grateful.

After the two talked about "Mars Intelligence Agency" for a while, Guo Xuefu began to pry into Wei Jun's personal information, such as his age, hobbies, and whether he had a fitness habit. She also paid special attention to his fingers, noticing that they were well-defined, long and strong, and her face turned slightly red.

Taiwanese women have a set of standards for judging men. First, they ask about appearance. If the appearance is not bad, they ask about age. If the appearance is young, that's fine. Then they ask about hobbies, preferably athletic ones, and whether the man has a fitness habit. They want to see if the man regularly maintains physical fitness.

No problem. The most important thing is to look at the man's fingers. If they are long, strong, and thick, then he is the perfect boyfriend. Guo Xuefu once heard Little S teach him the "superb finger theory for men". If a man's fingers are slender, he is about the same in that aspect. If they are long and strong, then go for it.

Guo Xuefu firmly believes in this theory because many friends have verified that it is extremely accurate.

Wei Jun had no idea what she was thinking, so he just gave her a perfunctory reply.

Guo Xuefu wanted to say something more, but Wang Han led two henchmen into the lounge. He called over several senior agents, handed the script to them, said a few polite words, and finally patted Wei Jun on the shoulder, whispering a thank you in his ear.

During the recording of "Day Day Up" on Hunan TV last time, Wei Jun witnessed Qian Feng's shameful act, which scared the other party so much that he ran away in terror.

Upon learning this, Wang Han immediately called Wei Jun, hoping he would give him face and not reveal Qian Feng's shameful deeds, as if he owed Wei Jun a favor.

After that phone call, Qian Feng brought gifts to Wei Jun's door, coaxing him and calling him "Brother Jun."

Wei Jun didn't take the matter to heart at all. If Wang Han hadn't called, he would have almost forgotten about Qian Feng.

Wei Jun looked at the script. The opening was that he would sing "Touring Beijing," and then Ying Cai'er, the "Deputy Director," would call on him to speak and make a proposal. The proposal was that "the face-holding move is more lethal than the shoulder-rubbing move"...

The six senior agents digested the script for a while, then went to rehearse. After rehearsals, they ate and rested, then continued rehearsing until the recording began in the afternoon.

......

Recording officially began at 2 PM.

Wei Jun, dressed in a suit, twirled and played with the microphone in his hand as the music of "Touring Beijing" began to play.

"I walked down the long street and listened to the actors singing about the capital."

"A chaotic scene of people, a clown playing a game, leaves turning yellow as autumn fades into the long autumn."

......

Due to time constraints, Wei Jun shortened the original 3 minutes and 45 seconds song to half its length, starting directly from the chorus.

After the song, Wang Han, the director of the Mars Intelligence Agency, appeared: "Holding meetings on Earth is the most annoying, holding meetings on Mars is the most enjoyable, because we are..."

The audience below shouted in unison: "Mars Intelligence Agency!"

"Let's welcome our new senior agents, Wei Jun and Li Feier."

After the introduction, Ying Cai'er called on Wei Jun according to the procedure and asked him to make a proposal.

"I've found that for girls, a face-cupping gesture is more effective than a shoulder-rubbing gesture," Wei Jun said, reading the proposal aloud from a blue folder.

Qian Feng immediately chimed in, standing up: "So it's just a trick for picking up girls, right?"

Wei Jun put down the script and walked up to Guo Xuefu as he had rehearsed, his hands seemingly about to cup her face: "It's this kind of... face-cupping kill."

The audience immediately erupted in chorus of croaks, and Guo Xuefu, true to her carefully crafted innocent and naive persona, covered her mouth and laughed shyly.

Qian Feng jumped out and blocked Wei Jun from getting close to Guo Xuefu. After a struggle, Wei Jun successfully cupped Guo Xuefu's face in his hands.

Wei Jun cupped Guo Xuefu's chin in his hand, pinched her cheek with his fingers, and said with a smile, "So cute."

Guo Xuefu followed suit, pinching Wei Jun's cheek and giggling.

Upon seeing the two so intimately, Qian Feng immediately collapsed to the ground, heartbroken.

Then the agents unleashed a variety of "kills," including the "table kill," the "wall slam kill," and the "head pat kill"...

During the conversation, Wang Han called on Cheng Xiao once and asked her what kind of "kill" she liked. She replied that she liked it when a boy turned around and winked.

After chatting for a while, Wei Jun began to show another kind of "face-holding kill". He stood in the center of the exhibition hall, facing the camera from the side, and stretched out his right hand with his palm facing up, indicating that Guo Xuefu should put her chin on his palm, forming a kind of "face-supporting kill".

The senior agents found it interesting and followed suit, lining up to place their chins on Wei Jun's right palm.

After the senior agents finished their performance, Wang Han spoke up, continuing to direct the camera at Wei Jun: "I've noticed that Wei Jun has a knack for flirting with women. I'd like to ask, if it's a married couple, how does the husband flirt with his wife?"

"Yes, as long as a guy puts his heart into it, romance is as simple as breathing," Wei Jun raised his hand. "Now I'll demonstrate. Who here would like to be my wife?"

In an instant, all the girls in the room raised their hands, and some of the boys followed suit. Wei Jun glanced at the girls and pointed at Cheng Xiao: "I'll choose one intermediate agent, and that's you."

When Cheng Xiao learned that she had been chosen, she shouted and skipped over to Wei Jun.

The other girls who were not selected sighed, and Guo Xuefu's eyes revealed a hint of resentment.

In a couple's family, there's bound to be a son, so they'll let Qian Feng be their son. From now on, when he goes out, people will call him Wei Jun's son. That's a good deal for him.

"Wife, do you believe I have two flowers in my hand?" Wei Jun clenched his left fist and held it in front of Cheng Xiao.

Cheng Xiao shook his head: "I don't believe it."

"Then hold this rope for me." Wei Jun drew a "rope" with his right hand for her to hold, "I'll tie this flower."

Wei Jun pretended to actually have a rope and tied it to the flowers in his left hand: "Do you believe I have flowers in my hand now?"

Cheng Xiao gripped the "rope" tightly, her face resolute: "I don't believe it."

Wei Jun made a startling remark: "Then why are you holding the rope?"

Now, the croaking of frogs filled the air, and Cheng Xiao covered his mouth and chuckled.

"Hold these two flowers for Dad." Wei Jun handed the two flowers in his left hand to his son Qian Feng. "They're tied in a knot here. Dad will straighten them, and you can pull them, son."

Qian Feng stupidly tugged at the "rope".

"Son, you're weak in your hands, you hold the rope for Mom." Wei Jun asked Qian Feng to hand the "rope" to Cheng Xiao.

Cheng Xiao caught it, and after a moment of confusion, asked, "Should I pull hard?"

Wei Jun nodded.

Cheng Xiao gave a strong tug, and Wei Jun, who was holding the other end of the "rope," was pulled by the "traction" and immediately kissed him.

Of course, Wei Jun wouldn't actually kiss her, but the effect was already there: the whole audience screamed, and Cheng Xiao smiled shyly.

Wei Jun continued the story, reaching his hand to Cheng Xiao's sleeve: "You used too much force; you broke the rope."

Wei Jun pretended to look for a "rope," but secretly pulled a gold necklace from his sleeve and gave it to Cheng Xiao.

This is the gold necklace that Wei Jun wore at a Chow Sang Sang event.

......

And so, "Mars Intelligence Agency" was recorded intermittently until midnight.

It's not a continuous recording process. If any jokes don't work or there's a problem, that part will be re-recorded. You could say that everyone on set is an actor, including the "audience" in the back row.

Before leaving, Wei Jun added Cheng Xiao's WeChat account using one of his personal WeChat accounts. As for the others, he told them to add her work account if they wanted.

There were some gains from recording this variety show; I learned a term from Cheng Xiao: "Dance Master".

[Dance Master: The host is proficient in all dance abilities, dancing with fluidity and natural ease]