My Love Disaster Notes

[Fourth recording - "Lin Chuan... I might not be able to hold on much longer. The surgery hurt so much. The doctor made a hole in my chest. They said my heart is failing and my condition is worsening. I might not make it to the day I can see you again."]

I've lost count of how many years it's been since I left you. Maybe it's the first year, or maybe many, many years have passed. Sometimes I really think that if I just close my eyes... it won't hurt so much.

But I can't do it. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is your face. There are so many things we haven't done together. I still want to be like before, lying in your arms in a tank top on a hot summer day, with us drawing the curtains and secretly watching movies in the room. In winter, I want to hide under the covers, secretly hugging your pajamas and giggling, watching you writing a book intently by the window.

I really want to sleep, I really want to have a good, comfortable sleep... but it hurts so much, the bed is so cold, it's burning my back, waaaah, Lin Chuan, it hurts so much, can you come and hug me?

Lin Chuan: "..."

Since things have come to this, let's vent our anger by cursing the system.

The fifth audio clip.

"Lin Chuan, Lin Chuan, I have good news for you. I saw your idol... that basketball star called Black Mamba. He's so dark-skinned, even darker than you, but his teeth are quite white, even whiter than yours."

Don't worry, when I get to that world, I'll definitely get you an autograph from him, hehehe, I'll give it to you as a birthday present, and then I'll appear in your dream to give you a surprise.

Lin Chuan, do you know what? You don't understand girls at all. Hmph, that Xiao Mei, I knew it the moment I saw her. She had designs on you. But I'm smart. The reason I offered to help her was to tell her that you and I are childhood sweethearts, and she's just the other woman.

Lin Chuan, I regret it so much. I shouldn't have argued with you in high school. If I had agreed to your request back then, we could have had so much more time to do romantic things.

Hmph, you really don't understand me at all, you blockhead, you brooding type... But it's alright, I didn't really think that much about it at the time. I always felt that life was long and we could be together for a long, long time. You know, I liked the feeling of you pursuing me... Hehehe, if it weren't for that girl, I would have let you pursue me for several more years.

Please forgive my little bit of willfulness, okay? You know, we were young then, we didn't know the weight of life, nor the preciousness of time... Don't be angry, you're not allowed to be angry, do you hear me? What did I do wrong? How can you bear to blame a poor, innocent, and beautiful little girl?

Hehehe, you definitely wouldn't have the heart to do that. You're the kindest person. I discovered this when we were little. No matter how much I teased you, after you sulked for a few days, you would happily follow me around and then steal my milk.

Hee hee hee~ That's right, you're the culprit behind my tablet's malfunction.

The voice in the audio grew weaker and weaker. Although it seemed cheerful and optimistic, Lin Chuan could still hear deep fear and forced nonchalance in it.

Two messages.

Barring any unforeseen circumstances, his basketball idol, the Black Mamba, will also die within the next decade.

I don't know why... but that's not important.

The important thing is that Jiang Yao is dead.

Even without experiencing the future in the dating simulation, Lin Chuan still felt indescribably sad when he suddenly learned that his childhood sweetheart would die ten years later.

Lin Chuan knew that Jiang Yao's mother had a history of cancer, but the fact that cancer has a genetic predisposition does not mean that she will definitely get cancer; it just means that the risk is higher than that of ordinary people.

Moreover, Jiang Yao's family is well-off; her father is the captain of the criminal investigation team, and he undergoes regular physical examinations every year and intentionally reduces lifestyle habits that may lead to cancer.

But she still got it. What was the reason?

If it is detected early, intervened early, and treated early... is it possible to reduce the probability of death, or even avoid getting the disease altogether?

Lin Chuan frowned. This disease, which traditional medicine could not cure, would be a nightmare for any ordinary person.

But he has a grooved system.

Through repeated simulations and searches for solutions, perhaps a chance can be found for Jiang Yao to survive.

If all else fails, what if the system suddenly generates an advanced medical skill? Although Lin Chuan hasn't seen any sign of the skill yet.

Lin Chuan suppressed the myriad emotions in his heart and looked at the last audio suicide note.

[In the audio, Jiang Yao's voice grew weaker and weaker, like a breeze blowing past your ear.]

[July 4, 2027: Surgeries are becoming more and more frequent. I'm either sleeping or in the emergency room every day. I have a feeling that I might not make it to autumn.]

Lin Chuan, this should be the last time I record for you. I... sob sob sob... I can't bear to part with you... I really want to see you one last time...

I've thought about so many things these past two days, but when I turn on the recorder, all I can say is... I'm so lucky to have been with you for so long, and to have met you at the perfect time of my life.

I heard Xiao Mei is pregnant, that's great. It's a pity that I didn't get pregnant with your child before I left. Lin Chuan, will you miss me in the future? You should remember your childhood sweetheart, right? Do you still remember the days when we went to drink milk tea together and studied together?

Forget it, let's just forget about it. I don't want you to remember me, and I don't want you to be sad forever. Let me play the villain in your life and just stay in your memory.

Lin Chuan, forgive me for this last act of stubbornness. I know you hate it when I'm headstrong. You always say I don't know how to take care of others, that I keep things to myself and don't tell anyone. But... but... but I just don't want to tell you. I want to keep it from you. I want you to be happy. I don't want you to be sad forever. If you knew all this, and had to relive this memory every morning when you woke up, how heartbroken would you be...?

I just hope you live well and live happily.

Goodbye, Lin Chuan, the surgery is about to begin again.

The sudden arrival of six cassette tapes shattered your peaceful life.

You flew to the United States overnight, but saw nothing but an empty hospital bed and parents weeping uncontrollably.

A month later, you attended Jiang Yao's funeral, wearing a chrysanthemum on your chest and holding a marriage certificate in your hand. It was a forged marriage certificate, made by a colleague at the Civil Affairs Bureau at Jiang Yao's father's request when you divorced. It was stamped with a carrot. This was Jiang Yao's last possession.

On the marriage certificate, Jiang Yao nestled in your arms, her eyes red from crying, tears blurring her makeup.

You recorded all of this in your diary, and every day afterward, when you looked through it, tears would involuntarily fall.

From that day on, your life became a blur, filled with melancholy and despair.