Zhenguan: I, Dou Fengjie, will not be the first cuckold.

With a whoosh, the medical students, acupuncturists, massage therapists, and spellcasters of the Imperial Medical Bureau of the Court of Imperial Sacrifices followed the head steward Dou Fengjie into the Sifang Hall.

"Who's sick?"

Ju Wentai, Yuchi Fuxin, Fei Tingdanji and others were very curious.

Even if a messenger or chieftain falls ill, at most two medical workers will be dispatched.

If it can be cured, it can be cured; if it can't be cured, the Court of State Ceremonial will bury it.

Otherwise, why would the professional funeral service be under the jurisdiction of the Court of State Ceremonial?

Murong Xiaojun, who was walking around the room, suddenly lay down on the couch, and a white felt blanket was quickly covered over his body. His originally smug face turned haggard.

Who among those who have held official positions for many years isn't a master of acting?

Murong Xiaojun forgot that he was still wearing a thick leather coat, his body was hot under the white felt, and drops of sweat moistened the roots of his hair that he had just washed ten days ago.

Oh no, this is early spring, when the weather is gradually warming up!

Murong Xiaojun felt itchy all over and wished he could immediately lift the white felt blanket and pour a bucket of cold water over himself.

Normally, I don't feel this bad even if I don't shower for a month!

"Oh no! The King of Gaochang has been infected with a pathogenic wind; his body is trembling, his face is pale, and he's covered in foul sweat!"

"Quick! Add more blankets, three blankets! They have to sweat it out!"

Dou Fengjie shouted in a panic.

The clerk from Sifangguan immediately carried the satchel into the room and covered Murong Xiaojun, who had a bitter expression, with it. He also carefully pressed down the corners to ensure that there was no draft.

The doctors had a lot to say but nowhere to vent.

Shangguan, are you trying to smother someone to death?

Even if it is indeed a case of wind-cold syndrome, one should still ventilate and dissipate heat, and take herbal medicine as an adjunct!

"Shangguan, he's sweating from being covered up. If he keeps doing that, something bad will happen."

"It's not really sweat or dirt, it's just that I haven't been washing myself properly, and grime has accumulated on my face and neck."

A doctor with his arms crossed.

He didn't even consider whether he would offend Dou Fengjie; he knew what to do and what not to do, only then could he cure the disease and save lives.

Coming from the bitterly cold Tuyuhun, Murong Xiaojun didn't bathe very often, so it was normal for him to accumulate some "stretching leg and staring eye pills" on his body.

Dou Fengjie wasn't angry. He explained, half-jokingly, "Young man! This is a method passed down from the older generation. What's your name?"

Before time travel, when I was sick as a child, I had been given "love-induced sweating" by my family.

Of course, family members often treat illnesses haphazardly, using herbal remedies for all kinds of ailments, and love to boast that "doctors are not as good as me," which is also a traditional characteristic.

To be honest, Dou Fengjie felt incredibly lucky to have survived until he was killed before he transmigrated.

The doctor responded earnestly: "What my student Liu Shenwei said was all learned from the Shennong's Classic of Materia Medica, the Suwen, and the Huangdi's Acupuncture Classic, plus his own experience of accompanying doctors on house calls for six years."

After six years of study, I'm about to complete the required years of training in physical therapy.

Physical therapy, simply put, is internal medicine; it takes seven years to complete the training.

Hmm, why does the name Liu Shenwei sound so familiar?

Seeing that Murong Xiaojun was almost out of breath, Dou Fengjie immediately changed direction: "Move away the bedding and white felt, and take off your clothes!"

"Doctor, when you're making the herbal decoction, add more Coptis chinensis!"

"Needle master, give him acupuncture! How many needles? All over!"

"Keep using the horn technique! Don't be clumsy and burn his skin! If the horn doesn't stick properly, switch to a small ceramic pot!"

"Massage therapist, didn't you eat? He hasn't eaten at all!"

"The curse is forbidden, let's begin the Yu Step!"

Inside the house, it was bustling and noisy, filled with shouts and screams, while the messengers outside tried their best to suppress their laughter.

Poor Murong Xiaojun, he's really messed things up.

Even healthy people would be exhausted after undergoing this treatment.

Besides, these are all students, so it's normal that their skills aren't up to par.

A few needles missed their mark and didn't reach the acupoints, causing tiny beads of blood, about the size of rice grains, to seep out.

Murong Xiaojun's body bounced back and forth like a fish on a chopping board, his muscles twitching slightly, and the clenching of his teeth could be clearly heard in the noisy room.

Zhou Jinsheng danced the Yu Steps, chanting obscure and difficult incantations, making it unclear whether he was curing illness or cursing.

The medicinal soup, which made him frown just from the smell, was poured into Murong Xiaojun's mouth as if it were free.

"Come on, finish this bowl, there are three more left."

Dou Fengjie almost started singing.

Hold up the big bowl of tea!

Dear guest from afar, please stay...

The officials accompanying Tuyuhun and Murong Xiaojun's personal servants wanted to intervene but didn't know where to begin. They couldn't very well claim that the King of Gaochang was faking illness, could they?

Bringing medical workers to treat the envoy is the duty of the Court of State Ceremonies' Bureau of Foreign Affairs, as clearly stated in black and white!

Murong Xiaojun's eyes were filled with tears.

My goodness, I'll never pretend to be sick again!

Two hours passed.

Murong Xiaojun dared not move, for if he did, he could hear the bubbling of the medicinal soup in his stomach.

He dared not think about it; the thought of needle torture and burning alive made him want to urinate.

I dare not close my eyes, for as soon as I close my eyelids, I recall the beautiful image of Zhou Jinsheng dancing the Yu Step.

"King Gaochang, the Court of State Ceremonial Affairs has shown the envoys meticulous care for their health."

"If they don't feel well, I'll bring them back tomorrow."

"Also, I learned a miraculous medical remedy from India: cow urine cures all diseases. You could give it a try."

Dou Fengjie's eyes were full of kindness.

"I'm all better now, no need for further treatment, thank you!"

Dou Fengjie's eyes flashed with unease, and he spoke with trembling lips.

He even has to say thank you!

Dou Fengjie led his students out of the Sifang Hall in a swaggering manner.

Liu Shenwei finally couldn't help but speak up: "Shangguan must have seen through his faking illness long ago, right?"

Dou Fengjie dusted off his blue official robes and looked at Liu Shenwei, who was about the same age as him, with a smile: "Otherwise, why do you think I wouldn't hire a medical worker, acupuncturist, masseur, or spellcaster?"

Liu Shenwei said with some displeasure, "Has Shangguan considered whether we, the students who are not yet qualified to practice, can bear the responsibility should anything happen to the envoy?"

It must be admitted that Liu Shenwei's words made some sense.

"Therefore, all your actions were arranged by me, and I, as a duke, can take full responsibility for them."

"So, tell me, did you enjoy your practice today?"

Dou Fengjie chuckled softly.

Once the discussion of responsibility was dropped, the students immediately relaxed, their chatter filling the imperial city.

Being able to escape the supervision of doctors, acupuncturists, massage therapists, and spellcasters, and to have a free-flowing operation, is indeed very exciting.

"To help the messenger recover as soon as possible, I added a little croton powder to the medicinal soup so that he could expel the wind and evil as soon as possible."

"Don't think that only you doctors are good at this. I will perform the 'purifying and abstinence-reducing acupuncture' on the messenger so that he can strengthen his body and restore his vitality as soon as possible."

The debates were incessant, which broadened Dou Fengjie's horizons.

It turns out that even people who study medicine have so many cunning schemes.

Well, when Murong Xiaojun was a jetpack soldier, he could only suffer the humiliation of being an official in the Sifang Pavilion and have to grit his teeth and bear it.

Liu Shenwei frowned: "Shangguan, do the Indians really drink cow urine to cure diseases?"

This question is absurd, yet it has spread widely in India.

Dou Fengjie thought for a moment and said, "Perhaps the Indians have been drinking it for a long time, so they can't be defeated by ordinary diseases."

Cow urine itself has certain medicinal effects, but it is not a universally applicable remedy.

Traditional Chinese medicine also has the concept of "human urine white," but it doesn't mean that people should drink human urine every day.

Moreover, in the magical land of India, even physically strong athletes have to withdraw from competitions due to excessive levels of E. coli.

Dou Fengjie made a promise to Liu Shenwei and the others that they could ask him for a favor in the future.