Haikyuu!!: The Disaster of Gamers

The red pen cap snapped back onto the pen body with a "click".

The sound wasn't loud, but in the living room, it was no different from pulling the pin on a grenade.

The four "corpses" lying around the coffee table twitched simultaneously. Hinata Shoyo pulled his face out of the A4 paper covered in English words, his cheeks marked with dark pencil marks, like a groundhog that had just crawled out of a coal pile. Kageyama Tobio remained stiff in his pen-holding posture for a long time, his knuckles turning an eerie bluish-white from the excessive force.

"Sentencing him," Tanaka Ryunosuke said, lying on his back on the carpet, his eyes staring blankly at the chandelier. "Whether you drink that swamp water or commit seppuku, give me a quick death."

Nishitani Yu didn't even have the strength to speak, but she just raised a thumb, which probably meant "I'll be a hero again in eighteen years."

Lu Ren sat cross-legged on the sofa, holding four mock exam papers he had just finished grading. He didn't rush to announce the scores, but instead glanced at the half-empty pot of special vegetable juice in the center of the coffee table—the result of the previous rounds of "punishment games." The intoxicating aroma of raw celery and mustard still lingered in the air, more effective than any stimulant.

"I have to say," Lu Ren tapped the test paper on his knee, his tone flat, "you guys really have a strong survival instinct."

Sawamura Daichi and Sugawara Koji sat in a corner, both of them with cold sweat dripping down their faces. The past few hours of intensive training had been terrifying to watch. It wasn't learning at all; it was some kind of biological miracle that humans performed to survive under extreme conditions.

"Tanaka." Lu Ren pulled out the first test paper and tossed it over.

The paper fluttered lightly onto Tian Zhong's face.

"61 points."

Tanaka suddenly sprang to life, grabbed the exam paper, and nearly popped his eyes out: "Sixty-six? I'm not seeing things, am I? Not sixteen?"

"You got all the classical Chinese passages wrong, but you managed to guess one option correctly in the modern Chinese reading comprehension section." Lu Ren picked up his water glass and took a sip. "Although I suspect you didn't understand the passage at all, and just thought that option had the longest text."

"The longest word count is the ultimate truth!" Tanaka hugged the exam paper and kissed it wildly. "Kiyoko-senpai! I did it! Tokyo! City! Maid!"

"Shut up, you're so noisy." Hotaru Tsukishima turned a page of her book, but the slight sarcasm on her lips softened considerably.

"Next up is Nishiya." Lu Ren handed the second test paper to the free agent next to him who was still pretending to be dead. "64 points."

"Whoa!" Nishiya sprang to her feet with a somersault, almost collapsing back to her knees because her legs were numb. "I knew it! As long as I memorize those formulas like catching a ball, there's no problem I can't catch!"

"Although your solution steps are written like a dog's scrawl, the answer is correct." Lu Ren rubbed his temples. "The examiner will probably be driven to tears by your ugly handwriting, but as long as he doesn't want to look at the process carefully, you can get away with it."

The remaining two.

The air froze again.

Kageyama and Hinata. These are the true "final bosses of the dungeon".

Lu Ren looked at the two exam papers in his hand, his expression somewhat complicated. It wasn't relief, nor disappointment, but rather a sense of absurdity at having witnessed some kind of "system bug."

"Kageyama."

Kageyama Tobio's entire body stiffened, as if he were waiting for the whistle to sound.

"60 points." Lu Ren slapped the test paper in front of him. "Just barely passed."

Kageyama didn't move. After a full five seconds, he trembled as he reached out and touched the bright red "60".

"The last big math problem," Lu Ren pointed to the exam paper, "Although you wrote the parabola formula wrong, you did draw a graph."

The picture showed a volleyball court and a perfect ball-tossing arc.

"You interpreted 'ball launching' in the question as 'back row attack pass,' and then used your physical intuition to calculate the landing point coordinates." Lu Ren sighed. "Although the whole process was nonsense, the result was only slightly different from the standard answer. You're lucky to have encountered this kind of word problem."

Kageyama let out a long breath, feeling as if all his bones had been removed, and slumped onto the table: "We...we won."

"at last."

All eyes were on Hinata. The child was already trembling, his teeth chattering.

Lu Ren looked at the last exam paper.

59 points.

That was the original score. But next to that glaring red number, Lu Ren drew a circle with his pen and changed it to 60.

"Give...give me the juice!" Hinata shouted with her eyes closed, reaching for the glass of vegetable juice with a death-defying resolve. "I'm not afraid! To get to Tokyo! I'll drink it even if it's poison!"

"Alright, stop being so self-satisfied." Lu Ren slapped the test paper on his head. "This score is a passing grade."

"Huh?" Hinata opened his eyes, looking completely bewildered.

"English fill-in-the-blank." Lu Ren pointed to one of the questions. "This question asks, 'What sport does Mike like to play?' It's not mentioned in the article, but you filled in 'Volleyball.'"

"Because...because Mike sounds like a name that sounds like someone who plays volleyball!" Hinata said matter-of-factly.

"The logic is utter nonsense." Lu Ren rolled his eyes. "But the author of this article is a volleyball enthusiast, and he mentioned 'Net' in the hidden information in the next paragraph. Although you just got lucky, since this is a cram school for exam questions, luck is also part of the skill."

"And..." Lu Ren paused, "There's a point for neatness at the end of this test. Although your handwriting is terrible, at least you didn't tear the paper like Kageyama did. I'll give you that point."

Hinata froze for two seconds, then burst into a cheer loud enough to shatter glass: "That's great!!!"

"Shut up!" Lu Ren kicked Hyuga in the butt, sending him sprawling back onto the carpet. "Since you've all passed, get out of here. Those who should go home, go home; those who should go to sleep, go to sleep."

In that instant, the atmosphere in the living room completely changed.

The low pressure of "failing the exam" vanished, replaced by a feeling of exhaustion after surviving a disaster.

Sawamura Daichi stood up, stretched his legs which had gone numb from sitting, and a fatherly smile of relief spread across his face: "Thank you so much, Riku Ren. Really, I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything, just take these pieces of trash with you." Lu Ren pointed to the pile of waste paper on the ground and the four single-celled organisms that were still laughing foolishly.

"Definitely, definitely." Sugawara Koji laughed as he pulled the half-dead guys up from the ground. "Alright, everyone, let's not linger at Lu Ren's house. We have to get up early for training tomorrow."

"Training..." Upon hearing this word, Kageyama's eyes regained focus slightly. "Yes, we still need to practice serving."

"Are you a devil?" Tadashi Yamaguchi quipped from the side. "You've already killed all your brain cells, and you still want to torture your muscles."

After a period of chaotic tidying up, the main group finally began to move towards the entrance.

Kiyosawa Yashiki remained silent, quietly arranging everyone's shoes and packing up the unfinished meat buns for Tanaka.

"Um... Lu Ren." As she reached the door, Hinata suddenly turned back, her large eyes sparkling under the streetlights. "Even though that vegetable juice was awful, and even though you were fierce when you were explaining the problems, but... thank you!"

"Nonsense." Lu Ren leaned against the door frame, arms crossed. "If you really want to thank me, don't mess up the final exams. Passing the mock exams isn't a skill; when you're actually in the exam hall, nobody's going to give you points for this kind of 'friendship'."

"Yes!" The four of them saluted in unison, though their postures were crooked and awkward.

These guys.

Lu Ren watched them support each other as they walked down the steps. Tanaka was still loudly boasting about how brilliant his choice of "homesickness" was, with Nishiya chiming in, while Kageyama and Hinata were arguing about whose score was more valuable.

It was clearly just a passing grade, but they acted like they had won the national championship.

But that's just how these crows survive. Even when they're wallowing in the mud, they'll still try their best to make a splash.

"Feed".

Lu Ren suddenly spoke.

The sound wasn't loud, but it was clearly audible on the quiet street.

The people walking in front stopped and turned around.

Lu Ren stood under the warm yellow light at the doorway, his loose-fitting loungewear billowing slightly in the night breeze. He wore an extremely gentle, extremely domestic, even extremely "virtuous" smile.

That kind of smile usually only appears in the prelude to the climax of a horror movie.

"The same time next week."

Lu Ren raised her hand and waved gently, her movements as elegant as a young wife seeing her husband off to work.

"Remember to come back for special training soon!"

That instant.

The four people, who had been having a lively time, were instantly petrified as if they had been caught in Medusa's gaze.

A chill ran up my tailbone and straight to the top of my head.

That wasn't a gentle reminder.

That was the whisper of the devil. It was the nightmare of endless reincarnation. It was the trailer for a sequel called "Tutoring Hell".

"Alas--!!!"

Hinata let out a short, mournful cry, reacting first. He grabbed his bicycle, turned, and ran, pedaling so fast the chain seemed to spark.

"Run! Run!" Tanaka screamed, pushing Nishiya as they ran. "It's a trap! It's a gentle trap!"

Although Kageyama didn't shout, his escape was not slow at all; he even used the sprinting footwork he used in the game.

Even Sawamura Daichi and Sugawara Koji, who were walking behind, couldn't help but shiver and quicken their pace.

"Lu Ren..." Tsukishima turned around and glanced at the figure standing at the door, pushing up his glasses. "You really have a twisted sense of humor."

"Thank you for the compliment," Lu Ren replied with a smile.

In less than ten seconds, only a cloud of dust remained on the street; the group had run faster than if they had encountered Godzilla.

"puff."

Ya Zhi, who had been standing behind Lu Ren, finally couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"The expression you made just now really resembled that of a wicked housewife who 'confiscates her husband's salary card and then makes him smile and say thank you,'" Ya-zhi complained as she closed the door.

"That's to keep them in a sense of urgency." Lu Ren turned and walked into the house, his smile instantly vanishing, replaced by his usual lazy demeanor. "These guys have memories like goldfish. If we don't leave them with some psychological trauma, they'll definitely forget all the formulas when they come back next Monday."

Back in the living room, looking at the mess on the floor, Lu Ren sighed deeply.

"I'm exhausted." He slumped into the sofa. "This is more tiring than playing a full five-set match. My brain cells are dying on a massive scale."

Yazhi picked up the empty cups from the coffee table and glanced at Lu Ren, who was slumped over there: "But you seem quite happy."

"Happy?" Lu Ren raised an eyebrow. "I felt pleasure watching these idiots get tortured. It's the thrill of a high-IQ player dominating a low-IQ NPC."

"Yes, yes, yes, big player." Yazhi picked up the pitcher containing the green liquid and shook it. "So what should we do with the rest of the 'All Attribute Boosting Potion'? Throw it away?"

Lu Ren stared at the pot of dark green liquid for a while.

"Keep it."

He rolled over, found a comfortable position, and closed his eyes.

"Put it in the fridge. If they dare forget even one formula next week..."

Lu Ren's lips curled into a very faint smile.

"This is the initial reward for the second playthrough."

Outside the window, the night was deep.

Although the process was full of various frustrating bugs and logical inconsistencies, the team called "Kanasano" finally managed to obtain their ticket to the Tokyo instance, albeit with many stumbles.

Even if it's only temporary.

As for the final exams next week...

Lu Ren silently calculated in his mind. If he replaced Kageyama's mathematical formulas with volleyball tactical diagrams, and turned Hinata's English words into rhymes... perhaps he could squeeze out a few more points of potential.

After all, isn't the purpose of a strategy guide to turn the impossible into the possible?

Goodnight, strategist.

Goodnight, housekeeper.

The lights went out. But this was only a brief respite before dawn.

Because the real battle, whether in the exam hall or on the sports field, has only just begun.