Ming Dynasty: A centenarian madman criticizes the Grand Secretary and brings his coffin to court!

Images flow across the sky.

That absurd and historically significant "donkey cart welcoming the emperor" spectacle has finally reached its climax!

【Ding--】

[Time: August of the first year of the Jingtai reign.]

Location: Outside Dong'anmen, Beijing.

[Event: Two generations of Ming Dynasty emperors are about to stage a drama here—]

[An epic meeting ostensibly based on brotherly affection, but in reality, each harboring their own ulterior motives!]

on the screen.

The autumn wind is bleak.

The "funeral procession" led by Minister of War Yu Qian and personally overseen by Grand Tutor Gu finally arrived at Dong'an Gate.

"Whoa—"

Old Wang, the driver, pulled on the reins.

The donkey, somewhat excited from pulling the Emperor Emeritus all the way, raised its head and brayed:

"Mmm—ah! Mmm—ah!"

The braying of the donkey resounded through the sky, instantly drowning out the already off-key sound of the suona.

In the car.

Our "returned student" Zhu Qizhen was wrapped in that tattered straw mat, huddled in the corner of the car.

His face was ashen.

His body reeked of an indescribable stench, a mixture of donkey dung and sweat.

For him, those hundreds of miles were a nightmare!

There were no flowers.

There was no applause.

All that could be seen were the stares of the locals who looked at him like he was a monkey, and the dilapidated car that was practically shaking him to pieces!

"arrive……"

"We've finally arrived..."

Zhu Qizhen looked at the majestic Dong'an Gate before him, and at the familiar red walls and yellow tiles.

Tears streamed down my face uncontrollably.

I……

I'm finally back alive!

Just then.

"The Emperor has arrived—!!!"

A sharp, eunuch-like voice rang out.

The city gates are wide open!

The current emperor, Zhu Qizhen's younger brother, was Emperor Jingtai, Zhu Qiyu.

He was dressed in a brand-new bright yellow dragon robe, wearing a winged crown and a jade belt.

He strode out, surrounded by a group of imperial guards and eunuchs.

The atmosphere is full!

Majestic and imposing!

Where is this the same cowardly prince who was forced to wear a dragon robe by Gu Canghai with an axe?

After a year of experience, Zhu Qiyu now possessed a certain imperial majesty in his eyes!

The two met.

The air froze instantly!

One is the current emperor, high above and glamorous.

One was a disheveled former emperor, riding in a donkey cart.

This is like a successful person driving a Rolls-Royce running into a poor relative who has just escaped from a pyramid scheme.

awkward!

That's so damn embarrassing!

"Brother!"

Zhu Qiyu was the first to break the silence.

He strode forward and grabbed Zhu Qizhen's dirty hand.

A glimpse appeared on his face—

Extremely saddened!

Extremely excited!

Yet, something about that expression seemed off!

"My royal brother!"

"You've suffered!"

"I...no, your younger brother has been longing for your return day and night!"

"Look how thin you've gotten!"

As Zhu Qiyu spoke, he squeezed out two tears.

Zhu Qizhen was trembling all over, looking at his younger brother who had usurped his throne, his heart burning with hatred, but he still had to put on a grateful face.

"My dear brother..."

"Your brother misses you too!"

"Brother, in the desert, thinks of the Ming Dynasty every moment, and misses you!"

The two embraced and wept.

The cries were deafening.

The scene was so heartbreaking that it brought tears to the eyes of anyone who heard it.

in case……

If it weren't for that old man causing trouble next to us!

on the screen.

Just as the two brothers were hugging each other and crying, and were really getting into their acting,

Gu Canghai.

He pulled out two bamboo clappers (clappers) from somewhere.

Standing next to the two of them.

"Slap! Slap! Slap!"

The crisp sound of clappers rang out abruptly!

While keeping time, Gu Canghai, like a storyteller, launched into a tirade that was enough to make the two of them utterly bewildered—

Live commentary!!!

"With that clap of the bamboo clappers, we won't praise anything else!"

"Let me praise the Ming Dynasty imperial family; they have two Oscar-winning actors!"

"Slap! Slap!"

Gu Canghai pointed at Zhu Qiyu:

"Look at this little brother, is his crying real or fake?"

"He calls me 'brother' with his mouth, but secretly he wants him to crawl on his back!"

"Once you're wearing the dragon robe, who would want to take it off?"

Then, pointing at Zhu Qizhen:

"Look at this guy, he's really homesick!"

"It's a pity I lost the throne; my mind is in turmoil!"

"Tears flow like a river, all from crocodiles'... you know!"

"Slap! Slap! Slap!"

After Gu Canghai finished his performance, he shouted loudly to the stunned civil and military officials around him:

"My lords!"

"Let's be the judge!"

"How was his acting?"

"Isn't it incredibly moving?"

"In my humble opinion, the Oscars... no, the Peking Opera world, would be a tremendous loss without these two gentlemen!"

"We should award them a solid gold statuette!"

boom!!!

The entire room fell silent!

The crying of Zhu Qiyu and Zhu Qizhen stopped abruptly.

The two stood frozen in place, unsure whether to embrace or let go.

The expression on his face was as interesting as if he had swallowed a dead fly!

Especially Zhu Qiyu.

His face turned green!

Grand Tutor!

Can you give me some face?

I am the emperor now! How can I continue this act if you expose me in public?

And outside the sky.

The Hongwu Plane.

Seeing this, Zhu Yuanzhang laughed so hard he slid off the dragon throne!

"Ouch! I can't take it anymore!"

"My belly!"

"Ha ha ha ha!"

Zhu Yuanzhang clutched his stomach and pointed at Gu Canghai, who was playing the clapper in the picture:

"That old madman..."

That's so mean!

"That's absolutely outrageous!"

"While those two brothers were putting on a show, he was just playing the clappers?"

"An award-winning actor?"

"Well said! Those two little brats, they're obviously up to no good!"

Zhu Di's lips twitched violently.

Although I feel ashamed.

But we have to admit...

The lyrics for this fast-paced ballad are... actually quite rhyming?

……

on the screen.

After Gu Canghai's commotion.

This hypocritical charade of "brotherly love and respect" simply can't continue.

"Cough cough..."

Zhu Qiyu awkwardly released his hand and wiped away the single, still-damp crocodile tear:

"Um... Your Majesty must be tired from your journey."

"Let's go back to the palace and rest first."

"Grand Tutor."

Zhu Qiyu looked at Gu Canghai, his eyes pleading for help:

"Shall we...go to the palace?"

"Enter!"

Gu Canghai put away his clappers and waved his hand:

"Walk!"

"Drive this donkey cart into the Forbidden City!"

"Let the Emperor Emeritus see for himself that this Ming Dynasty... is no longer the Ming Dynasty under his rule!"

……

Fengtian Temple.

Magnificent and resplendent.

This was once the place Zhu Qizhen knew best.

He once sat on this dragon throne, receiving tributes from all nations.

But now.

When he stepped into the hall again.

Everything has changed.

His younger brother, Zhu Qiyu, was already seated on the dragon throne that symbolized supreme power!

And he.

He could only stand at the bottom of the steps, like a subject, looking up at the place that originally belonged to him.

This sense of disparity.

It's a million times worse than eating lamb leg in the Oirat region!

"Brother, please sit down."

Zhu Qiyu sat on the dragon throne, and although he spoke politely, he didn't move an inch, showing no intention of giving up his seat.

He pointed to a grand master's chair on the right side of the main hall.

That's for the courtiers to sit on.

Zhu Qizhen stared at the chair, his face turning ashen.

sit?

Or not to sit?

To sit down is to acknowledge oneself as a subject!

Not sitting? Standing would be even more awkward!

Just as he was hesitating.

"Bang—!!!"

A loud bang!

Gu Canghai kicked the armchair away!

"Why are you sitting in a grand master chair?"

"That's for meritorious officials!"

Gu Canghai walked up to Zhu Qizhen, looked him up and down, and looked at him with disgust:

"You dare to challenge me?"

"You're such a spendthrift!"

"He's a jinx who squandered his family's fortune and still has the nerve to come back!"

Gu Canghai came from behind—or from the coffin he carried with him.

He pulled something out.

He threw it into a corner of the main hall.

That was a...

It was dilapidated and even had some paint chipping—

Small stools!!!

"The Retired Emperor".

Gu Canghai pointed to the small stool and said with a smile:

"The dragon throne is too cramped; it can't fit two people."

"The armchair is too high; you might fall."

"Please bear with it."

"Squat here."

"Squat in the corner!"

"This is a great location!"

Gu Canghai was talking nonsense with a straight face:

"Having my back against a wall makes me feel safe!"

"The cold winters and hot summers can temper the mind!"

"And because it's close to the door, I can even hear the eunuchs sweeping outside!"

"How down-to-earth!"

"Don't you like reminiscing about past hardships? This stool... is perfect for you!"

boom!!!

This is outrageous!

To make the dignified retired emperor, the former emperor, squat in a corner of the court? On a small stool?

This is worse than killing him!

Zhu Qizhen looked at the small stool.

Tears welled up again.

This time.

She really cried!

humiliation!

anger!

"Grand Tutor!"

Zhu Qizhen pointed at Gu Canghai and cried out:

"You...you've gone too far!"

"I...I am, after all, the Emperor of the Ming Dynasty!"

"They are also the late emperor's flesh and blood!"

"Are you going to humiliate me like this?"

"I used to be the king, but now I'm relegated to sitting on a stool?"

"Waaaaah..."

Looking at Zhu Qizhen's pathetic appearance.

The smile on Gu Canghai's face vanished instantly.

Instead.

It was a suffocatingly violent force!

"cry?!"

"You still have the nerve to cry?!"

Gu Canghai rushed forward, grabbed Zhu Qizhen by the collar, and lifted him up!

that moment.

The centenarian's imposing presence actually made the young emperor feel suffocated!

"Do you feel wronged?"

"Do you feel humiliated?"

"Do you even know?!"

Gu Canghai pointed north, his voice booming like thunder:

"At Tumu Fortress!"

"Those two hundred thousand Ming soldiers who were killed because of you!"

"When they died..."

"Did you cry?!"

"Did you complain about being wronged?!"

Their remains are still lying exposed to the elements in that wasteland!

"It was eaten by wild dogs!"

"You culprit, now you have food and drink, and you're even back alive!"

"What right do you have to cry?!"

"Shut it up, you bastard!!!"

That shout.

He roared away all of Zhu Qizhen's tears!

He was so frightened that his face turned pale, his whole body trembled, and he didn't dare to utter a sound.

I had no choice but to obediently walk to the corner.

Amidst the disdainful, mocking, and indifferent gazes of the entire court.

A thud...

He sat down on that shabby stool!

They curled up into a ball.

She looked like a wronged little wife.

It's like a...

Abandoned mascot!

It's not an auspicious one at all!

Zhu Qiyu, seated on the dragon throne, watched this scene unfold.

I felt so good!

It's even more refreshing than drinking ice water on a hot day!

Grand Tutor...

Well done!

As long as the brother's authority is lost, as long as he becomes a joke.

So, this throne...

It’s stable!

Zhu Qiyu glanced at Gu Canghai furtively, his eyes filled with gratitude and... awe.

That old madman...

It's scary.

But just hold on tight to his leg (or his coffin lid).

The Ming Dynasty's territory is as solid as iron!

……

Beyond the sky.

Zhu Yuanzhang looked at the great-grandson squatting in the corner of the wall in the picture.

He let out a long sigh.

"well……"

"Although it looks a bit pitiful."

"But that madman Gu is right!"

Two hundred thousand lives!

"What's a little grievance to him?"

"If it were us..."

A hint of murderous intent flashed in Zhu Yuanzhang's eyes:

"Let's just skin him alive and stuff him with straw!"

"Can we really let him sit on a small stool?"

"Dream on!"