Ming Dynasty: A centenarian madman criticizes the Grand Secretary and brings his coffin to court!

The Zhengtong Dynasty.

Outside Deshengmen.

Gu Canghai looked at the "barbecue party" trailer on the sky and couldn't help but smack his lips.

"Don't say it."

"The sweet potatoes roasted with that golden nanmu wood back then were absolutely delicious!"

"It smells like money!"

In the Hongwu dimension.

The atmosphere inside the Fengtian Hall had frozen solid!

Zhu Yuanzhang stared intently at the sky, his breathing rapid, the half-shoe in his hand almost crushed.

Nine bestowals!

These two words are like a mountain, weighing heavily on everyone's hearts!

This is the ultimate honor for a subject!

It is also the ultimate nightmare of emperors!

"Gu Canghai...received the Nine Bestowments?"

Zhu Yuanzhang's voice was terrifyingly deep:

"Wang Mang took it, but that was to usurp the Han throne!"

"Cao Cao took it so he could become Emperor Wu of Wei!"

"Sima Zhao took it; everyone knows that!"

"That madman Gu received the Nine Bestowments..."

"Does he really intend to rebel?"

The entire court, both civil and military, dared not even breathe loudly.

Everyone knows what the Nine Bestowments mean.

Those were privileges granted to the emperor, derived from rites, music, and military expeditions! Those were chariots, horses, clothing, musical instruments, vermilion doors, imperial steps, tiger-like guards, axes, bows and arrows, and black millet!

This is like wearing the clothes of half an emperor!

however.

Just when everyone thought a thrilling drama of "powerful minister usurping the throne" was about to unfold.

The chubby little boy in the sky screen picked up his pen again.

His expression was somewhat strange.

He seemed to be holding back a laugh.

then.

In the section of the exam paper titled "The Controversy over the Nine Bestowments," he wrote a passage that silenced historians, brought tears to the eyes of ambitious individuals, and made Zhu Yuanzhang question the meaning of life!

Regarding the Nine Bestowments:

Historically, those who received the Nine Bestowments were basically already on their way to work at the Golden Palace.

Gu Canghai is the only oddball!

This is a massive mudslide!

According to the "Records of the Asylum in the Ming Dynasty":

In the tenth year of the Yongle reign, Zhu Di bestowed upon Gu Canghai the Nine Bestowments to recognize his achievements (and incidentally to test his ambitions).

result……

The images flow.

The background music instantly changed from the tense "Ambush from Ten Sides" to the cheerful, silly, and even slightly rural heavy metal-flavored "People in Our Village"!

Winter of the tenth year of the Yongle reign.

Beijing, the Grand Tutor's Mansion (originally the Prince of Yan's Mansion, rebuilt with special approval from Zhu Di).

It's snowing heavily.

At the entrance of the Grand Tutor's Mansion, there was a magnificent carriage, adorned with dragons and phoenixes and inlaid with countless jewels—the Grand Lu (a carriage of imperial rank)!

That's one of the Nine Bestowments!

It was originally meant to carry powerful ministers to receive the worship of the people!

But now.

The priceless carriage did not carry the imposing Grand Tutor.

But...

It was filled with black, filthy, and still crumbling coal briquettes!

Not only that!

The chariot was not pulled by any magnificent imperial horses.

Instead, it was a panting, hair-shedding old black donkey!

"drive!"

Gu Canghai, wearing his signature tattered sheepskin coat, sat on the cart shaft, brandishing a whip, and shouted at the old donkey:

"Run!"

"The Xishan Coal Mine is waiting for this truckload of coal for heating!"

"This imperial carriage is so useful! The wheels are smooth! It can carry a lot! And it even absorbs shocks!"

"It's much better than my old oxcart!"

boom!!!

Beyond the sky.

Zhu Di (if he were still alive) would probably have had a heart attack by now.

Zhu Yuanzhang's eyes widened like copper bells:

"Holy crap?!"

"Da Lu?"

"That's a grand carriage!"

"That's a ceremonial carriage reserved for sacrifices to Heaven!"

"He...he took it to haul coal?!"

"It's pulled by a donkey?!"

"This is an absolute waste of resources! This is the ultimate humiliation of imperial authority!"

however.

The most exciting part is yet to come!

The scene changes.

The backyard of the Grand Tutor's mansion.

After unloading the coal, Gu Canghai dusted off his hands and felt a bit hungry.

"Someone come here!"

"Start a fire!"

"Grand Tutor, I want roasted sweet potatoes!"

The servants looked at each other, their faces showing distress.

"Grand Tutor... there's no firewood left in the woodshed, it's all wet from the snow..."

"That's it?"

Gu Canghai frowned and looked around.

suddenly!

His gaze was fixed on the corner of the courtyard, on the vermilion door (red lacquered gate) that had just been delivered and had not yet been installed. It was entirely vermilion and exuded a faint fragrance.

This is also one of the Nine Bestowments!

It is made of the finest golden nanmu wood!

Every inch of wood is worth its weight in gold! It's priceless!

"Isn't there firewood readily available?"

Gu Canghai pointed to the vermilion door and waved his hand:

"go!"

"Bring me an axe!"

"Chop him up!"

"This golden nanmu wood is very oily and flammable! The roasted sweet potatoes made from it will definitely be delicious!"

"ah?!"

The servants were so frightened they knelt down:

"Grand Tutor! You mustn't!"

"That's a vermilion door bestowed by the emperor! It's one of the Nine Bestowments! Cutting it open would mean execution!"

"behead?"

Gu Canghai snatched the axe and sneered:

"If that brat Zhu Di dares to kill me over a few pieces of wood, I'll tear down the gates of his palace!"

Snap! Snap!

A crisp sound!

Gu Canghai raised his axe and brought it down!

That priceless vermilion door, a symbol of supreme glory, was instantly reduced to a pile of firewood!

Followed by.

Flames shot up!

The unique aroma of Phoebe zhennan wood, mixed with the sweet smell of burnt sweet potato, permeated the entire Grand Tutor's Mansion!

Gu Canghai squatted by the fire, rubbing his hands together and turning over sweet potatoes, a look of pure bliss on his face.

"Hmm~!"

"It smells so good!"

"The taste of this Jiuxi is truly extraordinary!"

"It would be even better if we had some musical instruments to add to the fun..."

talking.

He glanced at the bell (a musical instrument) next to him, which was also one of the Nine Bestowments.

"Give it to me!"

"Sit here as my bench!"

"This thing is too noisy to knock on, but the sitting height is just right!"

then.

A scene emerged that would frighten future historians into dropping their pens:

The most powerful minister in the Ming Dynasty!

He was sitting on a musical instrument bestowed by the emperor!

He was holding the imperial gate, chopped into firewood, in his hand!

Right there—roasting sweet potatoes!

How can this be considered a powerful minister?

This guy looks exactly like an old man from the village entrance!

Above the sky.

The chubby boy wrote while laughing so hard his hands trembled:

[The controversy surrounding the Nine Bestowments]:

Other powerful officials received the Nine Bestowments only to show off and pave their way to power.

Gu Canghai received the Nine Bestowments to make a living!

Carts haul coal, doors are used for fire, musical instruments are used as stools, and bows and arrows are used to shoot sparrows!

He showed the emperor through his actions:

Stop with all this fancy stuff!

This thing can't be eaten or drunk, yet we have to keep it and it takes up space!

Next time, please give me cash directly! Thank you!

【evaluate】:

The most powerful wage earner in history!

He had the script for usurping the throne, but he was doing the work of a nanny!

His contempt for imperial power was not because he wanted to be emperor.

It's because... he really didn't want that position!

In his eyes, being an emperor was not as satisfying as eating a roasted sweet potato!

—From "The Legend of the Most Ruthless Man in the Ming Dynasty"

The Hongwu Plane.

Fengtian Temple.

Zhu Yuanzhang looked at Gu Canghai in the picture, whose mouth was covered in black ash.

This time.

He did not get angry.

Nothing was broken.

He just watched quietly, his eyes filled with complex emotions.

There was shock, there was speechlessness, but more than that...

It's a feeling of relief and ease.

"Ha ha……"

"Ha ha ha ha!"

Zhu Yuanzhang suddenly laughed.

They laughed so hard they were doubled over, slapping their thighs in laughter.

"wonderful!"

"Brilliant!"

"That old madman!"

"He's using the Nine Bestowments as firewood?"

"He'd rather have sweet potatoes than the throne?"

What does this tell us?

"That shows he has a clear conscience!"

Zhu Yuanzhang pointed to the sky and addressed his court officials:

"Look at this!"

"Take a good look at them all!"

"This is Gu Canghai!"

"If he were to treat these Nine Bestowments as an enshrinement, bowing and kowtowing three times and nine times every day, then we would truly have to worry whether he is plotting a rebellion!"

"But he used it to haul coal? Or to burn as fuel?"

"This shows he didn't take this thing seriously at all!"

"He was telling the fourth brother, and also telling us—"

"I don't want your broken chair!"

"I want something practical!"

"We want money! We want food! We want sweet potatoes!"

Zhu Yuanzhang became increasingly pleased as he spoke, as if a major worry had been resolved:

"What an amazing part-time worker!"

"You'll work as long as you get paid?"

"This is a great deal!"

"Biao'er!"

"Got it!"

"From now on, when dealing with this old madman, don't bother with empty titles!"

"Just give me the money!"

"I'd give him half the national treasury!"

"As long as he doesn't rebel, and as long as he's willing to work for us, we'll pay him whatever it takes!"

Zhu Biao also had a look of bewilderment, neither laughing nor crying:

"Father... this idea of ​​converting cash... is indeed quite unique."

"However, I feel that Grand Tutor Gu is feigning ignorance with great wisdom?"

"Foolish my foot!"

Zhu Yuanzhang glared at him:

"He's just greedy! He's lustful! He just wants to slack off!"

"but……"

"That's precisely why we dared to use him!"

"A saint who has no weaknesses, is neither greedy nor lustful—that is the most terrifying person!"

"Someone like Gu Fengzi..."

"This is truly the auspicious omen that protects the nation of our Great Ming!"

The Zhengtong Dynasty.

Outside Deshengmen.

Gu Canghai sneezed.

"Achoo—!"

"Who's insulting me?"

"It's probably that old miser Chongba again."

Gu Canghai rubbed his nose, looked at the "Strongest Part-Time Worker" rating on the sky, and snorted disdainfully.

"A laborer?"

"cut!"

"I did it for the people of the Ming Dynasty!"

"If it weren't for me, this wage earner, the Ming Dynasty would have gone bankrupt and been liquidated long ago!"

"but……"

Gu Canghai looked at the sky, his eyes suddenly sharpening.

because.

The screen is about to change!

A shocking revelation about an "unsolved historical mystery" is about to be revealed!

That's a horror story about "the dead coming back to life"!