Ming Dynasty: A centenarian madman criticizes the Grand Secretary and brings his coffin to court!

"You...you dare?!"

Upon hearing Gu Canghai's words about "warming the bed," Wang Zhen was so frightened that his scalp tingled.

Although he was a eunuch without testicles, he wasn't stupid!

Where is that coffin?

That's for dead people to sleep in!

Moreover, it's the "sliding version" specially made by that old madman. If he were to put the lid down, wouldn't he crush his old bones into mincemeat?

A strong will to survive allowed Wang Zhen to instantly overcome his fear.

He suddenly sprang out from behind the pillar like a wildcat whose tail had been stepped on, his delicate fingers trembling as he pointed at Gu Canghai and screamed shrilly:

"Gu Canghai! You old scoundrel!"

"My family is the Grand Eunuch of the Directorate of Ceremonial! We are His Majesty's attendants! We are His Majesty's family!"

"You dare touch a single hair on our head?"

"Help! Help!"

"Are all the Imperial Guards dead? Didn't you see this crazy old man holding a weapon? Slash him to death! Kill him!!"

Wang Zhen shouted this with all his might.

however.

The imperial guards outside the palace looked at each other, then turned their heads away, pretending to admire the scenery.

Kill Gu Canghai?

Stop messing around!

That's a living fossil of the Ming Dynasty who ate at the same table as the founding emperor and squatted in the same burial pit as the emperor!

Who dares to touch him?

Aren't you afraid that your great-grandfather will appear in your dream in the middle of the night and take your whole family away?

Seeing that the Imperial Guards did not move, Wang Zhen panicked completely. He turned to look at Zhu Qizhen on the dragon throne, tears streaming down his face.

"Your Majesty! You must do justice for me!"

"This old scoundrel isn't just bullying me, he's slapping you in the face!"

"You have to consider the owner before you beat a dog..."

Snapped--! ! !

Wang Zhen hadn't finished speaking.

A dark shadow struck like lightning!

Those are Gu Canghai's hands!

This hand, though withered and calloused, seemed to contain immense power at this moment!

A hard slap landed squarely on Wang Zhen's face, which had just begun to recover from the swelling!

This one was ten times worse than the last one!

"ah--!!!"

Wang Zhen let out a bloodcurdling scream, like a pig being slaughtered.

He was like a spinning top with its string cut, completing a perfect 360-degree Thomas Flair in the air.

then.

boom!

It crashed heavily onto the gold brick ground three meters away!

Half a mouthful of broken teeth, mixed with blood, sprayed all over the ground!

"Should we consider the owner before beating a dog?"

Gu Canghai took a step forward, his boot sole slamming down hard on Wang Zhen's meticulously maintained face, grinding it forcefully:

"You dare call yourself a dog?"

"The big yellow dog I used to raise in Yingtian Prefecture would wag its tail at everyone it saw, and it always knew how to guard the house!"

"What are you?"

"A spineless dog that only barks at its master and pushes the Ming Dynasty into a fire pit!"

"Still dare to yell?"

"I'm holding a funeral! Can't you see?"

"Such a solemn and respectful moment, how dare you, a castrated dog, interrupt?"

quiet!

A deathly silence!

As the court officials watched the powerful eunuch Wang Zhen being trampled underfoot, they all felt a chill run down their spines, yet an indescribable feeling welled up within them…

Cool!!!

That was fucking awesome!

Normally, Wang Zhen was arrogant and domineering, and all the officials in the court had to bow their heads and call him "father-in-law".

now?

Under Grand Tutor Gu's feet, he was nothing but a dead dog!

Above the sky.

The thirteenth year of the Hongwu reign.

Seeing this scene on the screen, Zhu Yuanzhang was so excited that he took off his other shoe and slammed it hard on the table!

Snapped!

"Well played!"

"This is called physical salvation!"

"This is our Great Ming's Grand Secretary! This is a true man of our Great Ming!"

"This kind of eunuch who wreaks havoc on the court deserves to be beaten like this! Beat him to death!"

Crown Prince Zhu Biao, who was standing to the side, felt that the scene was too violent, but he couldn't help but cover his face and peek through his fingers, his lips curving upwards in a crazy smile.

This old Grand Tutor is truly a role model for us all!

Back to Fengtian Hall.

Gu Canghai didn't seem to have gotten over his anger yet.

He bent down, grabbed Wang Zhen by the collar like a chick, and lifted him off the ground.

Wang Zhen's face was swollen like a steamed bun, and his eyes were filled with terror:

"What...what do you want to do...?"

"What are you doing?"

Gu Canghai chuckled, a smile that Wang Zhen found more benevolent than the King of Hell.

"His Majesty did not want to try that coffin just now."

"I am very disappointed."

"This is the culmination of my hard work; how can it go unused?"

Gu Canghai dragged Wang Zhen along as they strode toward the massive, black coffin.

"Since His Majesty won't try, then you, his trusted companion, will give it a try in his place!"

"This is what they mean by 'a subject dies for his lord's disgrace!'"

"Go, Pikachu!"

Done.

Gu Canghai exerted force with both arms and swung them violently!

Whoosh-!

Wang Zhen's body, weighing over 100 pounds, traced a beautiful parabola in the air.

Precisely and without error—

Boom! ! !

It crashed into that large coffin made of Phoebe zhennan wood!

"Ah! Help! Help me!"

Wang Zhen struggled desperately inside the coffin, trying to climb out using both his hands and feet.

The coffin was chillingly cold, as if it truly led to hell.

"Want to get out?"

"No way!"

Gu Canghai shouted and grabbed the huge sliding coffin lid with both hands.

Give it a hard push!

Snap! Snap!

The machine is activated!

The heavy coffin lid slid over in an instant, sealing the coffin opening perfectly!

Wang Zhen's terrified and desperate face was completely sealed in darkness!

"Your Majesty! Save me! Save me!!"

"It's so dark and crowded inside! There's a ghost!!!"

From inside the coffin came Wang Zhen's muffled, heart-wrenching screams, accompanied by thumping sounds.

The sound echoed through the hall, sending chills down one's spine.

however.

Gu Canghai, however, seemed to hear some heavenly music.

He leaped and jumped directly onto the coffin lid!

Stand firmly on it with both feet!

Boom!Boom!

He even stomped his feet on it twice, as if he was clapping!

Listen to this!

"Listen to everything!"

Gu Canghai pointed to the coffin at his feet, and laughed loudly at the assembled officials and the pale-faced Zhu Qizhen:

How festive!

"How melodious!"

"This isn't screaming; it's clearly music played before the Ming Dynasty sets off on its campaign!"

"This is much more exciting than the ditties sung by those women in the brothels!"

madman!

abnormal!

All the ministers, watching Gu Canghai standing on the coffin laughing wildly, had only two words in their minds.

Locking the most powerful eunuch of the dynasty in a coffin and then having him stand on it as a stage?

This is unprecedented and will likely never be repeated!

Zhu Qizhen's lips turned purple as he watched this scene.

That was his companion!

That's Mr. Wang, who grew up with him!

"Gu...Gu Canghai..."

Zhu Qizhen mustered his last bit of courage and said in a trembling voice:

"You...you must let him go..."

"If you don't release them, someone will die..."

"Let him go?"

Gu Canghai stopped what he was doing, stood on the tall coffin, and looked down at Zhu Qizhen.

That look in his eyes was filled with disdain, a sense of vicissitude, and even more so with disappointment in this good-for-nothing descendant.

"Zhu Qizhen, are you heartbroken?"

"You feel sorry for this castrated dog, but have you ever felt sorry for the people of the Ming Dynasty? Have you ever felt sorry for the 500,000 soldiers you are about to send to their deaths at Tumu Fortress?"

Gu Canghai pointed to the coffin at his feet, his voice suddenly rising eight octaves:

"You ask why I dare to touch him?"

"I'll tell you!"

"When I was rolling around in mountains of corpses and seas of blood with Zhu Chongba! When I was fighting the Yuan soldiers with a kitchen knife!"

"Don't even mention it, it's Wang Zhen!"

"That means going back eight generations!"

"Your ancestors were just liquid!"

"They're probably still wriggling in who-knows-which mother's womb!"

boom!!!

The whole place exploded!

液体？

What kind of insolent and lewd words are these?

Although the ministers didn't quite understand the exact biological meaning of "liquid," they could guess from the context that it was probably some kind of extremely insulting adjective!

Is it true that someone would insult the emperor's ancestors as liquid?

Under heaven, who dares to challenge Gu Canghai?

Who is qualified?

Zhu Yuanzhang's lips twitched on the screen above the sky.

"Cough cough...liquid..."

"That old bastard, his mouth is still so sharp!"

"But... good for you! As long as you don't insult us, you can insult anyone!"

Gu Canghai did not stop outputting.

He slammed his heel against the coffin lid and shouted at the fading screams coming from inside:

"Wang Zhen! Didn't you want to lead the troops?"

"Don't you think of yourself as Zhuge Liang reincarnated?"

"OK!"

"I'll give you a chance!"

As the art of war says: "Place them in a desperate situation, and they will survive!"

"If you want to be a great general, you must first learn how to die!"

"You'll stay in this coffin for me!"

"I'll only consider releasing you when this 500,000-strong army sets off!"

"If you're still alive after three days..."

A bloodthirsty glint flashed in Gu Canghai's eyes:

"I'll make you the vanguard! I'll send you first to charge into the Oirat camp and die!"

"If I die..."

"That would be even better!"

"Just nail it shut! No need to move it! Drag it to Tumu Fort and bury it, saving the Ming Dynasty the cost of a cheap coffin!"

ruthless!

Too bad!

This is so scary it'll suffocate or scare people to death inside!

Zhu Qizhen stared at the coffin that had stopped shaking and fell completely silent.

He didn't know if Wang Zhen had fainted or was already...

All he knew was that...

The 108-year-old man in front of me is definitely not joking.

There was real murderous intent in his eyes!

That murderous aura—the kind that comes from someone who has killed tens of thousands of people and crawled out of piles of corpses!

Zhu Qizhen huddled on the dragon throne like a plucked quail, not daring to utter another sound.

He fears.

He was afraid he would say another pointless word.

Gu Canghai would simply open the coffin lid, stuff him, the emperor, inside as well, and have him and Wang Zhen buried together as "ruler and subject in the same grave"!

He cowered before the emperor and submitted to the officials.

Gu Canghai sneered and jumped off the coffin.

He patted the dust off his hands.

"One done."

"Next..."

He turned around, his hawk-like eyes scanning the entire hall.

finally.

The rain fell on the rows of military nobles and dignitaries, who were all wearing armor but had their heads bowed, looking like wilted eggplants.

Especially those dukes and marquises standing in the front row.

Gu Canghai grinned, revealing devilish fangs:

"We should talk about the war now."

"Have the Ming Dynasty's military generals lost their backbone?"

"Why are they all acting like women?"

"Come!"

"Let our ancestors set your bones!"