Ming Dynasty: A centenarian madman criticizes the Grand Secretary and brings his coffin to court!

The Zhengtong Dynasty.

Ministry of Works Warehouse.

Gu Canghai was directing a group of eunuchs and craftsmen to move out those dusty, hollow wooden barrels, as if they were moving house.

"Be gentle!"

"Don't break it!"

"This is a 'grand set of tableware' prepared for the Oirat people!"

Just then.

The sky above us flashed with dazzling light once again.

The rousing background music of "Huo Yuanjia" slowly faded away.

Instead.

It was a... eerie, shamanistic-sounding version of "The Grand Funeral Procession" (crossed out)... it was "The Sacrifice to Heaven"!

[Ding! The Prequel to Madness: Metaphysics (Fake)!]

[Famous Scene 14: Physical Meteorology!]

At the beginning of the Jingnan Rebellion, in order to cover up the noise of weapons forging and to infuse this "mad dog" team of only eight hundred men with a sense of purpose.

Gu Canghai decides—to teach God a lesson!

[Zhu Di: Sir, can't we forge iron secretly?]

[Gu Canghai: Sneaking around? I'll have this thunderous accompaniment for us!]

The image freezes.

In the first year of the Jianwen reign, the scorching sun blazed down in the seventh month.

Beiping, the Prince of Yan's Mansion.

Despite the "oil pot oath-taking ceremony," the morale of the eight hundred soldiers was soaring.

But Zhu Di faced a fatal problem!

weapon!

Eight hundred men were still armed with pitchforks and rusty iron knives. How could they possibly fight against the imperial court's regular army?

We must forge weapons!

but……

The clanging sound of blacksmithing as weapons was so loud that it could be heard three streets away!

The area outside the Prince of Yan's residence is teeming with spies and agents of the imperial court!

Once the sound gets out, it means premature exposure, which is a dead end!

"What should we do, sir?"

Zhu Di was so anxious that his mouth was covered in blisters, and he paced back and forth in his study.

"To cover up this clanging sound, unless..."

"Unless a torrential downpour occurs and thunder roars!"

"But it's so hot outside, and there's not a cloud in the sky, where's the rain coming from?"

Zhu Di looked up at the scorching sun outside and sighed in despair.

"Who said it's not raining?"

Gu Canghai, sitting in a grand chair, was whittling a bamboo skewer.

He looked up at the window and felt the oppressive humidity in the air.

Then I looked at the ants in the corner who were busy moving house.

A mysterious smile curled at the corner of his lips.

"Your Highness."

"I observed the celestial phenomena last night (actually, I watched ants moving house), and then I did some calculations (actually, I calculated the humidity)."

"This rain has to come today!"

"Not only must we launch an attack, but we must launch an earth-shattering attack! An attack so deafening that all those spies will be rendered deaf!"

"Sir... do you know magic?"

Zhu Di's eyes lit up, as if he had grasped a lifeline.

"Spells?"

Gu Canghai stuck the bamboo skewer into the table:

"This is what I call—scientific cultivation of immortality!"

"Walk!"

"Set up an altar!"

"I'm going to borrow the east wind! To blow up the Dragon King!"

The scene changes.

On the high platform in the backyard of the Prince of Yan's mansion.

The altar was now filled with incense, a pig's head, candles, and all sorts of fancy talismans.

The atmosphere was incredibly feudal and superstitious!

Gu Canghai was wearing a red and white Taoist robe, holding a peach wood sword in his hand, with disheveled hair and bare feet.

They were performing an extremely bizarre, mesmerizing, and electrifying dance on stage!

He was muttering to himself:

"Heavenly spirits! Earthly spirits!"

"May the Supreme Lord Laozi command this swiftly!"

"Give me rain! If it doesn't rain, I'll poke a hole in the sky!"

under.

Zhu Di, with eight hundred soldiers, knelt on the ground with a look of piety (and bewilderment).

"Your Highness... what is the Grand Tutor dancing?"

Zhang Yu asked in a low voice.

Shh! Don't speak!

Zhu Di said with a serious expression, "This is called...invoking the gods! Look at the Grand Tutor's convulsions, he must be possessed by a deity!"

however.

Actually.

Gu Canghai jumped up and down while cursing under his breath:

"Damn it! Why isn't the kite in place yet?"

"The wind speed is just right, the humidity is off the charts, and although the clouds are thick, they just won't condense!"

"We need to give it a little push!"

During a break from his sword dance, Gu Canghai secretly made a hand gesture to several trusted bodyguards hidden in the shadows.

The few assassins understood immediately.

Immediately, one was pushed out from the corner...

A gigantic kite painted with hideous faces!

On the back of the kite.

It was tied with a whole bundle of gunpowder!

There's also a long lead wire!

"take off!!!"

Gu Canghai shouted, pointing his peach wood sword straight at the sky!

call--!

A gust of wind swept by.

The giant kite, laden with gunpowder, looked like a demon bursting out of hell, wobbling as it soared into the sky!

Soaring higher and higher!

Soaring straight into the sky!

The soldiers below were dumbfounded.

"Th-what is that?"

"Is that the Grand Tutor's mount?"

"The gods have appeared! The gods have appeared!"

Just as the kite disappeared into the thick cumulonimbus cloud.

Gu Canghai's eyes narrowed.

The time has come!

He suddenly bit his tongue (actually, he bit the blood sac hidden in his mouth), and spat a mouthful of blood onto the peach wood sword!

Focus your energy in your dantian!

He let out that roar that would be etched in history:

"Thunder God!!!"

"Help me!!!"

"Bomb it!!!"

Accompanied by his roar.

The fuse connecting the kite to the kite's fuse finally burned out!

High in the sky.

Deep within the cumulonimbus clouds.

Boom—!!!!!!

A deafening, earth-shattering roar, as if the sky itself had been torn apart, suddenly exploded!

A dazzling burst of light erupted from the clouds!

that moment.

The entire city of Beiping trembled!

Countless people were so frightened that they hid under their beds, thinking it was divine punishment!

The cumulonimbus clouds, which were already saturated, were further disrupted by the violent shockwave from the explosion.

The water vapor that hadn't wanted to come down condensed instantly!

Splash! ...

Only three breaths had passed.

The torrential rain poured down like a celestial river overflowing its banks!

Crackling sounds!

The raindrops were as big as coins, and they stung when they hit people's faces!

It was accompanied by thunder and lightning.

The whole world was instantly shrouded in rain!

"It's...it's raining?!"

"It's really raining!"

Zhu Di knelt in the rain, letting the rain wash over his face.

He was shocked!

I was utterly shocked!

He looked at Gu Canghai on the stage, who was still pointing to the sky, as if he were really commanding thunder.

The awe I felt was simply beyond the heavens!

Is this something a human being could do?

Does pointing to the sky and cursing make God cry in fear?

"Master Gu!"

"Long live the immortal Gu!"

"The Mandate of Heaven rests with the Prince of Yan! The Mandate of Heaven is with us!"

Eight hundred warriors revelled in the rain, kowtowing wildly.

Morale reached its peak at this moment!

Under the cover of the deafening thunder and rain.

The arsenal beneath the Prince of Yan's mansion is in full swing!

The clanging of blacksmithing was perfectly drowned out by the thunder and rain; even if you pressed your ear against the wall, you couldn't hear a thing!

On the stage.

Gu Canghai wiped the rain off his face.

Looking at the torrential rain, I chuckled.

"mock up."

"Trying to play coy with me?"

"As long as the air pressure is right, I'd blow a hole in the sky and you'd still pee your pants!"

He jumped off the platform and walked up to the dumbfounded Zhu Di.

He winked and said:

"Your Highness."

"See that?"

"This is what you call—scientific cultivation of immortality!"

"If God doesn't cooperate, I'll teach him a lesson with gunpowder!"

"Now, isn't the rain heavy enough?"

"Enough! That's way enough!"

Zhu Di was so excited that he hugged Gu Canghai tightly and shouted:

"Sir! You are truly a remarkable person!"

"From now on, if anyone dares to call you a madman, I'll be the first to chop him down!"

"This is divine magic! It's a great supernatural power!"

Gu Canghai curled his lip.

"Divine magic my ass."

"This is physics."

"but……"

Gu Canghai glanced at the fanatical soldiers:

"Sometimes, physics combined with a little bit of acting skills can be more effective than divine magic."

Above the sky.

This "artificial lightning and rain" operation left everyone dumbfounded.

The Hongwu Plane.

Fengtian Temple.

The book "Basic Physics Knowledge" (although it was blank) in Zhu Yuanzhang's hand fell to the ground again.

"Blown down... by the explosion?"

"They used gunpowder to blast the rain down?"

Zhu Yuanzhang felt that his brain was no longer capable of handling things.

"This...this actually works?"

"All we've ever known in our lives is that we have to kowtow and burn incense to pray for rain."

"That madman Gu is something else, he just threw a bomb into the sky?"

"This is threatening God!"

"If it doesn't rain, I'll blow you up?"

"this……"

Zhu Yuanzhang suddenly burst into laughter, laughing so hard that tears streamed down his face:

"Hahaha! That's pretty arrogant!"

"This is the true bloodline of our Great Ming Dynasty!"

"What's God to us! If you piss us off, we'll blow you up too!"

"Biao'er! Write it down! Write it down quickly!"

"If any region in the Ming Dynasty experiences a drought in the future, don't even bother praying for rain!"

"Send it to the Ministry of Works! Take gunpowder with them!"

"Fry it up! Fry it until it's scalding wet!"

Zhu Biao: "..."

Father Emperor, are you trying to promote scientific cultivation of immortality?

What if we blow up the wrong thing and kill the Dragon King?

The Zhengtong Dynasty.

Ministry of Works Warehouse.

Gu Canghai looked at the heavy rain in the sky, a slight smile playing on his lips.

"Back then, it took a lot of effort to get even a little bit of gunpowder."

"But now..."

Gu Canghai looked at the piles of high-purity gunpowder newly developed by the Ministry of Works (although he had forced it out).

And those hollow wooden barrels.

The murderous intent in his eyes grew stronger.

"Artificial rainmaking is child's play; I'm already tired of it."

"This time."

"What I'm going to give the Oirat people isn't rain."

"But—"

Gu Canghai suddenly slapped the coffin lid beside him:

"It's not 'golden juice'! It's chili powder! It's lime powder!"

"It's a biological storm that could truly wipe out their lineage!"

"Wang Zhen!"

"Yes, sir!"

"Go! Pass on the order!"

"Get that 'heartless cannon' mounted on the city wall!"

"Wait for Li Jinglong... oh no, wait for that grandson of Esen to arrive."

"I'll let him know."

"What is meant by—the hospitality of the Ming Dynasty!"