I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

The Three-Body Universe, the outer reaches of the solar system, the absolute silent zone.

"The light... has stopped."

Alice's voice was no longer an alarm, but a dull, mechanical sound, as if a machine had crashed.

"A collapse in physical constants was detected."

"The speed of light in a vacuum... is returning to zero."

"All communication, radar, and observation methods... have failed."

……

"It's dark."

Sun Wukong blinked his fiery eyes.

The once dazzling starry sky now looks as if it has been smeared with ink by a naughty child.

Before the Gluttonous Leviathan, appeared... pitch-black cracks.

They are not cracks.

They are "deadlines".

These are the tracks left by the warp drive of the Zero-Returner spaceship. Within these lines, the speed of light is reduced to zero.

Any substance that comes into contact with it will instantly become completely still.

Time stopped, thought froze, and they became eternal sculptures in the universe.

"Sizzle sizzle..."

These death lines, like living black snakes, spread and proliferate disorderly in the void.

They are weaving a net.

A deadly web called the "Black Domain".

They attempted to completely trap Jiang Li and his canteen in the low-light-speed trap of the "slow universe".

……

"It's so dark."

Er Gou (Water Drop Enhanced Version) stretched out its paw, trying to poke at the black line.

"Don't move!"

Jiang Li grabbed Er Gou's tail.

"You can't touch that thing."

"Time is frozen inside."

"Once you strike, it might take until the universe is destroyed before you can retract your claw."

Jiang Li stood at the bow of the ship, watching the black lines drifting in space.

There was no fear in his eyes.

Instead, it exudes a kind of... professional scrutiny.

"Black."

"Long and narrow".

"Semi-transparent (although it is non-reflective)."

"Moreover... it's extremely powerful (because it locks in the rules of physics)."

Jiang Li swallowed.

"Isn't this...?"

"All-natural, additive-free, and incredibly chewy... wide black sweet potato noodles?!"

……

"Wide rice noodles?"

The singer, who was licking the plate, looked up, completely bewildered.

"Great... great god."

"That's the deadline!"

"That's the ultimate manifestation of the laws of the universe! It's a miracle of manipulating the speed of light at will!"

"You call it... vermicelli?"

……

"You don't understand."

Jiang Li took out the McCann chainsaw kitchen knife from his backpack.

"In the eyes of a foodie."

"Anything that is long and edible is called noodles."

"And this black one..."

Jiang Li pointed to the endless death lines.

"Perfect for making... hot and sour rice noodles."

"And it has to be...very sour and very spicy."

"Only in this way can the passion hidden behind the dead silence be ignited."

……

[Culinary Skill: Rule-Based Cooking & Lightning-Fast Defrost Technique]

"Swann! Stop the engine!"

"Tex! Go and bring out the Nurgle's Old Jar Pickled Cabbage (the kind that's been fermenting for ten thousand years)!"

"Ergou! Get your black hole stomach ready!"

Jiang Li stepped out of the spaceship.

He didn't grab the dead line with his hands.

Instead, he pulled out... the Infinity Gauntlet.

"Time Stone (Green)...Reverse!"

"Space Stone (Blue)...Stretch!"

"Buzz—"

Jiang Li activated the time rule against the nearest dead line.

Time is stopped inside the dead end.

But the Time Stone is a personification of the rules of the Marvel Universe.

At this moment, two sets of cosmic rules collided violently.

"Sizzle sizzle sizzle—"

The deadline began to tremble.

The originally stiff, static black lines.

Under the influence of the Time Stone, it actually began to... soften?

It looks like a dried rice noodle that has been soaked in hot water.

It has gradually regained its elasticity.

……

"That's right!"

Jiang Li seized the opportunity.

"Grasp!"

His hand, clad in the Infinity Gauntlet, grabbed one end of the deadly line.

"rise!!!"

Jiang Li swung it forcefully.

"Whoosh whoosh whoosh————"

That deadly line, stretching for light-years, was actually swung around in space like a giant rope.

"Slap! Slap! Slap!"

The death line lashed through the void, producing a crisp cracking sound.

……

The shock of those who returned to zero.

From a higher-dimensional perspective.

The collective consciousness of those who returned to zero fell silent.

[Observational anomaly.]

[The target entity (Jiang Li)... is neutralizing the light-speed blockade of the deadlock by introducing an external timeline.]

What...what is he doing?

Is he... making noodles?

Those who returned to zero couldn't understand.

The death line is a tombstone used to seal off civilization.

It's not for... ramen performances!

……

"This is way too long."

Jiang Li shook it for a while, then found it a bit tiring.

"It needs to be cut off."

He picked up the chainsaw cleaver.

"McKahn's Divine Power...Slice!"

"Clang, clang, clang!"

Jiang Li's hand speed was so fast that it became a blur.

That seemingly endless, deadly line was quickly cut into even, palatable segments... of rice noodles.

Each segment retains that translucent blackness, exuding a chilling aura of nothingness.

……

Preparation of the soup base.

"The powder is ready."

"Where's the soup?"

Jiang Li looked at the deck of the Gluttony.

There was a large vat of old, grime-ridden pickled cabbage there.

There's also the Dark Dimension Red Oil I got from Dormammu before.

"One thing is still missing."

Jiang Li touched his chin.

"Hot and sour rice noodles, hot and sour rice noodles."

"We have the spice (chili oil) and the vegetables (pickled cabbage)."

"Is it sour?"

Jiang Li's gaze.

It landed on... the singer.

……

"Great... great god..."

The singer felt a chill run down his spine from being stared at so intently, and even his whiskers twitched.

"I...I'm caviar...not vinegar..."

"No."

Jiang Li shook his head.

"You're not jealous."

"But your heart... is filled with bitterness."

"I think……"

"You should be able to sing...sour songs, right?"

……

"Sing!"

Jiang Li lifted the singer up.

"Sing me a... one of those tragic love songs about someone who's worked for thousands of years without a raise, has to clean up trash every day, and finally gets rejected by their crush!"

"As sour as you can get!"

"It has to be so sour...it'll make this soup bring tears to your eyes!"

……

The singer's concert.

The singer was stunned.

This requirement is...too technical.

He recalled his long and humble career as a sanitation worker.

He recalled that distant hometown, the seed of his unrequited love.

An indescribable sadness welled up in my heart.

He opened his vocal organs.

"Waaaaah~~~~~"

"Oh oh oh~~~~~"

A ballad that is extremely desolate, extremely melancholic, and filled with cosmic negative energy.

Wandering in space.

……

[Cooking Technique: Sonic Seasoning - Sad Vinegar]

With the singer's voice.

That pot of what was originally an ordinary Void Broth (water liquefied from star steam).

It actually... turned sour.

Moreover, it's a kind of acid that strikes straight to the soul.

It evokes feelings of heartbreak, like a failed first love, failing an exam, or having your salary docked.

……

"Perfect!"

Jiang Li took a sip of the soup.

A tear even welled up in the corner of her eye.

"It's too sour!"

"This is... the taste of life!"

……

Add the powder!

"Glug glug—"

The sour soup is boiling.

Red oil is poured in.

Add the dried vermicelli to the pot.

"Sizzle——————"

When the death line, representing "absolute stillness," meets the hot and sour soup, representing "extreme emotions."

A violent reaction occurred.

The surface of the dead line began to absorb the soup.

The original jet-black color has become crystal clear, with an alluring red glow.

……

"Out of the pot!"

Jiang Li filled a huge bowl (as big as a planet).

It was topped with pickled cabbage, chili oil, and crushed peanuts (from Xiaohuasheng173).

There are also singers (who continue to serve as embellishments).

……

"The Zero-Based One!"

Jiang Li held up this bowl of [Cosmic-level Deadline Hot and Sour Noodles].

Shout into the void.

"Stop peeking from the tenth dimension!"

"I know what you're up to!"

"You want to reboot the universe, right?"

"You want to start all over again, huh?"

"Get down!"

"Finish this bowl of noodles!"

"Whether it's resetting to zero or restarting..."

"You need to be well-fed to have the energy to work!"

……

A god-like being descends.

The void remained silent for a long time.

finally.

An indescribable radiance condensed before Jiang Li.

That is not a physical entity.

It is a collection of mathematical laws.

It looks like a perfect sphere, or an infinitely extending plane.

It is constantly changing dimensions.

The projection of the zero-returner.

Has come.

……

You... are very interesting.

The Zero One's voice was devoid of emotion, like the background radiation of the universe.

You used our weapons (the death line)... to make food.

You use the emotions of a lowly civilization (the singer)... as seasoning.

Have you... grasped the true meaning of the universe?

……

"The true meaning?"

Jiang Li slurped up a mouthful of rice noodles.

"Slurp—"

Q bomb.

Powerful.

It has a tangy and spicy flavor.

"I don't understand any true meaning."

Jiang Li handed the bowl over.

All I know is...

"The universe is like a lump of dough."

"You want to put it back to its original state (reboot)."

"And me..."

"I want to stretch it into noodles (for cooking)."

"Different paths, same destination."

"Here, have a taste."

……

The bewilderment of the rebooters.

The Zero-Based Person looked at the bowl of hot and sour noodles.

His core logic revolves around frantic calculations.

[Analysis Components: Light-speed death line + negative entropy emotion + chaotic red oil.]

[Conclusion: This is a...miniature, seasoned...microcosm.]

The Zero One extended a... conceptual tentacle.

Dipped in a little soup.

"Sizzle..."

……

【! ! ! 】

The projection of the Zeroer trembled violently.

This feeling...

Sour? Spicy? Painful? Pleasant?

Is this... the taste of life?

In our attempt to reboot the universe, we have wiped out far too much life...

So this is what life tastes like?

The one who returned to zero fell into deep thought.

They were pursuing a perfect, idyllic era (ten dimensions) in the universe.

But that perfect universe...

Does this bowl of hot and sour noodles really exist...? Does it even taste good?

……

Transaction: Old-fashioned starter.

a long time.

The one who returned to zero spoke.

We'll accept this bowl of noodles.

In exchange...

We will no longer use deadlines for you.

【and……】

From the projection of the Zeroer, a clump of... gray, inconspicuous, mud-like stuff floated out.

This is... matter left over from the last cosmic reboot.

We call it... "Zero-point energy."

Or... in your own words...

This is... [the ancient prelude to the universe].

……

"Old-fashioned starter?!"

Jiang Li's eyes lit up instantly.

He took the lump of gray mud.

Although it looks ordinary.

But he could sense the... creation-level fermentation power contained within.

"Even a tiny bit of this..."

"It can make any ingredient..."

"Fermentation produces a delicious flavor on par with the Big Bang!"

……

"make a deal!"

Jiang Li carefully put away the "old dough starter".

"This is a good deal!"

"Come eat noodles here often!"

……

The projection of the one who returned to zero gradually dissipated.

But they took the bowl of hot and sour noodles with them.

And left behind a sentence:

We'll be waiting for you... at the end of time.

[If you could turn that...final monster...into a dish.]

【perhaps……】

We could consider... not restarting the universe.

Instead... it was transformed into a large dining hall.

……

Epilogue: New Goals.

"The end of time?"

Jiang Li looked in the direction where the Zeroer had disappeared.

"The final monster?"

"Could it be...?"

Jiang Li took out the system panel.

The task progress has reached 99%.

Only one coordinate remains.

[Ultimate Mission: ???]

[Location: Azathoth's Dream Throne.]

[Target: The God of Blind Folly]

[Note: Don't wake him. Or... cook him into a dish that you can't wake up.]

……

"Azathoth..."

Jiang Li took a deep breath.

That is the supreme god in the Cthulhu Mythos.

The universe was just a dream of his.

If he wakes up, the universe will be gone.

"We're going to cook him..."

Jiang Li touched the Occam's razor in his hand.

He then looked at the old dough starter in his backpack.

"It seems..."

"I need to make one..."

"A calming and sleep-inducing tonic... Supreme Buddha Jumps Over the Wall."

……

"Two Dogs! Swann! Men!"

"Pack your things!"

"last Stand!"

"We're going to..."

"To the Creator of this universe..."

"Delivering takeout (The Last Supper)!!"