I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

Marvel Universe (Earth-616), Wakanda Battlefield.

The smoke of battle had not yet cleared, but the war had already ended in an extremely bizarre way.

Thanos, the mad Titan who once made the entire universe tremble, has now become a lump of sugar in the belly of Galactus.

And in the center of the battlefield.

Jiang Li was holding the glittering golden Infinity Gauntlet, putting it on his left hand as if he were trying on a new gauntlet.

"It's a little big."

Jiang Li clenched his fist, and the Infinity Stones made a crisp clanging sound.

"But they're perfect as heat-resistant gloves for carrying pots."

On the opposite side of him.

The Avengers are in a petrified state, their worldviews collapsing.

Tony Stark (Iron Man) opened his mask, revealing a dusty and shocked face. His armor's AI, "Friday," was frantically alarming because the energy readings emanating from the purple giant (Gallopian) had exceeded the detector's limits.

"Jarvis... oh no, Friday."

Tony muttered to himself.

Tell me, it's an illusion.

"That big purple guy...did he eat Thanos like a sweet potato?"

"Yes, boss." Friday's voice was calm and ruthless. "And according to the energy analysis, that big guy's hunger index is still... at 90%."

……

"Hungry……"

It seems to be to confirm the AI's analysis.

The planet devourer in the sky lowered its mountain-sized head once more.

His eyes, burning with starlight, swept past Wakanda beneath his feet, past the Avengers, and finally settled on—Earth itself.

"This planet..."

"It smells... very crisp."

"That's the smell of life energy..."

Uncle Tun extended his hand.

That hand is big enough to cover the entire African continent.

Shadows fell over the land.

……

Hey! Big guy!

Tony panicked. He activated his thrusters and flew into the air, trying to stop the giant hand (though it was like a mosquito trying to stop a train).

"Let's talk!"

"Are you hungry?"

"I know a great shawarma place in New York! Lots of meat, huge portions! I can buy the whole place and treat you to a meal there!"

"Sawamah?"

Uncle Tun paused for a moment.

He looked at Jiang Li.

His eyes held a questioning look: "Is that also a divine dish?"

Jiang Li shook his head.

"That's a roujiamo (Chinese hamburger)."

"And the kind that's second-rate."

"cut."

Uncle Swallow disdainfully unleashed a cosmic storm, sending Tony flying three thousand meters away.

"I want to eat... something with more energy!"

"This planet... is pretty good!"

……

"Don't rush."

Jiang Li teleported (using the Space Stone) and stood in front of Uncle Swallow.

He patted Uncle Swallow's fingernails (which were bigger than an aircraft carrier).

"This planet is too dirty, heavily polluted by industry, and the food doesn't taste good."

"and……"

Jiang Li pointed to the Infinity Gauntlet in his hand.

"Now that we have this top-tier condiment box (Infinity Stones)..."

"We should go find some... higher-quality ingredients."

"More advanced?" Uncle Swallow swallowed hard (which triggered an atmospheric thunderstorm).

"For example... a pure energy body?"

A glint of light flashed in Jiang Li's eyes.

"That kind of thing... full of magic, dimensional power, and plenty of it."

……

The arrival of the monk.

Just then.

"Sizzle sizzle—"

A burst of orange sparks suddenly erupted in the air.

A rotating portal opened out of thin air.

A man wearing a red levitation cloak and with the Eye of Agamotto hanging on his chest (though it was empty, as the Time Stone was on his glove) emerged from the sparks.

Stephen Strange.

Doctor Strange.

He came to support Wakanda, though he was "a little" late.

"Where is Thanos?!"

Strange formed hand seals, with countless golden magic runes swirling around him, looking as if he were facing a formidable enemy.

then.

he saw...

Sun Wukong picking his teeth.

Nezha is feeding Er Gou a bone.

And... that planet-devouring being that blotted out the sky.

"..."

Strange's hand froze in mid-air.

His High Priestly Intuition told him that things seemed...very serious.

Thanos... is gone.

Thor walked over, patted Strange on the shoulder, and looked at him with a complicated expression.

"It was...eaten."

"Eaten it?" Strange looked at Galactus in the sky. "By that... cosmic being?"

Not entirely.

Thor pointed at Jiang Li.

"It was cooked by that... cook... and then fed to that god."

……

Shifting the blame eastward.

Strange took a deep breath, forcing his sanity back to normal.

He looked at Jiang Li.

They saw the Infinity Gauntlet in Jiang Li's hand.

"That's... the Time Stone."

Strange felt the resonance of the gem.

He was about to speak.

Jiang Li spoke first.

"Oh, the monk has arrived."

Jiang Li looked Strange up and down.

"You've come at the perfect time."

"I was just worried about not being able to find my way."

Jiang Li pointed to Uncle Tun behind him.

"This old man isn't full and wants to eat something high in calories."

"I've heard that you mages... know a lot about entrances to other dimensions?"

"For example... something like a dark dimension?"

……

Upon hearing the words "Dark Dimension".

Strange's expression changed instantly.

That's Dormammu's territory, his old nemesis.

"What do you want to do?" Strange asked warily.

"I don't want to do anything."

Jiang Li shrugged.

"I just wanted to... borrow a light."

"By the way... can I borrow a pot base?"

Jiang Li pointed to Uncle Tun's gaping maw.

"You saw it too."

"If we don't take him out for something nice to eat..."

"He's going to eat the Earth like it's a snack."

"As guardians of the Earth."

"Your Excellency, Supreme Master."

"Are you willing to watch the Earth be eaten?"

"Or are you willing to... sacrifice your old neighbor?"

……

Strange glanced at Galactus's greedy eyes.

He glanced again at the group of Avengers behind him who were still in shock.

This is an easy question.

Better to die for your fellow Daoist than for me.

Moreover, Dormammu is Earth's mortal enemy.

"it is good."

Strange gritted his teeth.

"I'll take you there."

"but……"

He glanced at the gloves in Jiang Li's hand.

"You have to promise that you'll leave once you've eaten your fill."

"no problem."

Jiang Li snapped his fingers.

"Our Deep Blue Cafeteria values ​​reputation above all else."

"Ergou! Dasheng! Get in the car!"

"Master, open the door!"

"What's the Wi-Fi password... wait, what's the incantation again?"

……

A hot pot party in the dark dimension.

Strange sighed helplessly.

He moved his hands, drawing an extremely complex magic circle filled with a dark aura.

"A path to...the Dark Dimension."

"boom!"

Space is broken.

A bizarre world filled with psychedelic colors, where countless planets and rocks float in the void, and where there is no concept of time and space, is revealed to everyone.

This is Dormammu's home ground.

It was also the dark empire he built after devouring countless universes.

"Walk!"

Jiang Li piloted the Gluttonous Leviathan (Tree Demon), carrying Uncle Devourer, and plunged headlong into that dark entrance.

……

"This is... the Dark Dimension?"

As soon as I entered.

Uncle Tun let out an excited roar.

He smelled it.

This place is filled with... endless magical energy.

Every stone and every wisp of mist here is a high concentration of dark energy.

"It smells so good..."

"Is this place... a buffet restaurant?"

Galactus reached out and grabbed a floating planet (a remnant of Dormammu's possession), then tossed it into his mouth like a grape.

"Crunch."

"Hmm...it has a slightly aged smell."

……

"Who?!"

"Who dares to trespass on my territory?!"

A roar that shook dimensions came from the depths of darkness.

Purple clouds churned, and an enormous face made of energy lines emerged in the void.

[BOSS: Dormammu.]

[Identity: Dark Dimension Lord / Dimensional Demon God]

[Level: Multiverse Level]

[Status: Enraged.]

Dormammu looked at the two enormous creatures that had broken in.

One is a purple giant (Uncle Devourer) radiating endless hunger.

One is a human (Jiang Li) who pilots a strange spaceship and holds an Infinity Gauntlet.

And there's another one... who's his least favorite, Strange.

"It's you again! Strange!"

Dormammu roared.

"You're trying to negotiate again?!"

"No."

Strange stood on the ship's deck and shrugged.

"It wasn't me this time."

He pointed to Jiang Li behind him.

"It's him."

……

Dormammu.

Jiang Li stepped forward, the six gems on the Infinity Gauntlet shining brightly.

"I'm not here to negotiate."

"I'm here to...cook."

Jiang Li looked at Dormammu's enormous face, which was made of pure energy.

I looked again at this vast, dark space, which resembled a thick soup.

"This place..."

"It's practically a natural... old soup."

"Such a good broth, it would be a shame not to cook some things in it."

……

"Cook?"

Dormammu was taken aback.

He then burst into laughter.

"Ha ha ha ha!"

"Mortal! You think you can challenge me with just a few broken stones?"

"This is my world!"

"I am invincible!"

"Go to hell!!"

boom!

Dormammu opened his mouth wide, and a wave of purple dark energy surged toward Jiang Li and Thun like a tsunami.

This energy is enough to instantly assimilate a universe of a real dimension.

……

"It's overcooked."

Jiang Li shook his head.

He did not dodge.

Instead, he raised his gloved left hand.

"Time Gem (Green)...Activate."

"Time...rewind."

hum-

A green light flashed.

The energy wave that had just surged out instantly retreated back into Dormammu's mouth, as if a video had been played in reverse.

Dormammu: "???"

"What happened?"

"Again!"

boom!

The energy wave erupted again.

"Time...rewind."

hum-

It shrank back again.

"Again!"

"Backtracking".

"Again!"

"Backtracking".

……

This cycle repeated more than ten times.

Dormammu is going crazy.

"Enough!!!"

"Another time loop?!"

"Strange! Is that all you know how to do?!"

"No."

Jiang Li interrupted him with a smile.

"This is not a cycle."

"This is called... [testing the fire]."

"I'm testing... whether you're cooked long enough to thoroughly cook yourself."

……

[Deep Blue Infinite Loop Cooking Method - Activated]

"Now that it's almost done."

"Let's begin then."

Jiang Li turned to look at Uncle Tun.

"Uncle Tun, prepare the bowls and chopsticks."

"This dish is a little hot."

"good!"

Uncle Swallow took out a huge black hole gravitational field and used it as a bowl.

……

Step 1: Ingredient processing (Dormamun itself).

Dormammu.

Your body is made of energy.

"That is... fluid."

"Fluids are best suited for..."

"It's... [Mala Tang] (a type of spicy hot pot)."

Jiang Li raised the Infinity Gauntlet.

"Reality Gem (Red)! Change reality!"

"Take this dark energy... and turn it into... [red oil]!"

hum-

A red light swept across.

Dormammu was horrified to discover this.

His pride and joy lay in the dark energy, that terrifying, originally purplish-black substance.

It was actually due to the distortion of the Reality Gem.

It turned into... a bright red, scalding hot chili oil, floating with chili pepper pieces and Sichuan peppercorns.

"Ah!!! So spicy!!!"

Dormammu screamed.

He felt his body burning.

It wasn't burned by fire, but by spiciness.

……

Step 2: Side dish (Dark Planet).

"Soup alone isn't enough."

"We need to have meatballs."

Jiang Li looked around at the floating planetary debris.

"Space Stone (Blue)! Compression!"

A flash of blue light.

Thousands of planetary debris were instantly compressed into... huge, compact, colorful... [Planetary Meatballs].

"Put it in the pot!"

Pfft!Pfft!

Planet Dumpling fell into the red oil soup that Dormammu had turned into.

It splashed up a huge amount of oil.

……

Step 3: Stewing (time accelerated).

"Now is the crucial moment."

"The key to stewing soup is...time."

"But in reality, stewing for ten thousand years is too slow."

Jiang Li turned the Time Gem again.

But this time it's not a retrospective.

Instead, it's... [local time acceleration].

He created a time bubble around Dormammu's body (the cauldron).

The flow rate of time inside the bubble is... a hundred million times that of the outside world.

"Dormammu, I'm here to cook!"

Jiang Li shouted at Dormammu's still screaming face.

"Give me...stew it!!"

Buzz————

From the outside, it seemed like just a moment.

But inside the time bubble.

That soup has been simmering for a full ten thousand years.

The chili oil sizzles, and the meatballs are tender and flavorful.

Dormammu's will, in these long years, simmered like a soup base.

I'm completely... devastated.

Or rather... it was overcooked.

He no longer thinks about how to rule the universe.

All he wants now is... to smell a little better.

……

[Dish Name: Dark Dimension - Infinite Loop Mala Tang (Spicy Hot Pot)]

[Level: Multiverse Level]

[Ingredients: Dormammu (broth), planetary debris (meatballs), Infinity Stones (seasoning).]

【Features: Simmered using the Time Gem, achieving a "millennial-old braising" level of quality. Every sip of the broth is an essence of a different dimension.】

Taste: Spicy! Extremely spicy! It's the spiciness transformed from Dormammu's endless rage. But after the spiciness comes an endless aftertaste of sweetness (energy).

……

"Dinner's ready!!"

The time bubble has been deflating.

An intense fragrance, so rich it made the void tremble, burst forth.

Uncle Tun couldn't wait any longer.

He picked up the black hole bowl and scooped a large spoonful directly onto Dormammu's body (the Red Sea).

Soup and meatballs together.

"Gurgle————"

Swallow in one bite.

"boom!!!"

Two purple pillars of fire instantly shot out from the two horns on Uncle Swallow's helmet.

"Cool!!!"

"This flavor... is potent!!"

"It tastes way better than eating a planet raw!!"

Uncle Tun was moved to tears.

"I've eaten raw food for so many years... but I never knew... cooked food could taste this good!"

……

Strange stared at the surreal scene before him.

Dormammu, the one who killed him over a thousand times before finally forcing him to retreat.

just now……

It turned into a pot of soup.

It is being devoured by the planet devourer.

"Is this... the mysterious power of the East?"

Strange muttered to himself.

"I think... I should learn to cook."

……

end.

This meal lasted for three whole days.

Dormammu is said to be immortal.

But even that couldn't stop Uncle Swallow from being a bottomless pit.

Finally, the Dark Dimension was almost completely drained.

All that remained was a small, transparent, trembling Dormammu core.

"Stop eating."

Jiang Li stopped Uncle Tun, who was still trying to lick the plate.

"To leave a seed."

"Let it grow a bit more, then we can come and eat it again next time."

(Dormammu: ??? Is this even human language?)

……

We were full and satisfied.

Uncle Tun patted his belly with satisfaction.

"Chef Jiang."

"I've decided to be your friend."

"From now on, in the Marvel Universe, if anyone dares to mess with you, just say my name."

"I went straight to devour his planet."

Jiang Li smiled and put away the Infinity Gauntlet.

"No problem."

He looked at Er Gou.

Er Gou was lying in the corner, munching on an Infinity Stone (the Power Stone, which he had snatched away like a candy).

"Don't eat that! That stuff is hard to digest!"

Jiang Li retrieved the gemstone.

Sudden.

His movements stopped.

Because it's inside the Power Gem.

He saw a line of tiny, non-existent text.

[Note: Ingredient collection progress... 80%.]

[Next stop coordinates: ???]

[Warning: Precursor to a [two-dimensional foil] attack detected.]

[Warning: The gaze of... [The Zeroer] has been detected.]

……

Jiang Li's pupils contracted.

"A two-dimensional foil?"

"The Zero-Based One?"

"That's... the Three-Body Problem universe?"

Jiang Li looked up at the unknown starry sky.

"It seems..."

"We haven't finished eating yet."

"And... even tougher dishes are waiting for us."

"for example……"

"Can a water droplet be made into... glutinous rice balls?"