The Evil Thoughts of Hogwarts and the Genie

Edmund had owned fortresses he built himself several times, so he found the magnificent sight before him rather ordinary. But the young wizards' reactions were genuine; the children spontaneously let out a gasp of amazement… even Edmund found it quite endearing.

The tall, burly man seemed to be anticipating this scene as well. He burst into laughter, and Edmund seized the opportunity to squeeze next to him, patting the burly man—well, patting his thigh.

"You're very tall, sir."

Edmund then noticed that James had somehow joined the man's side and was now winking at him.

"Yes! Good heavens—I've never seen anyone taller than you before!" James Potter exclaimed enthusiastically. "When you look at other wizards, do you only see the top of their heads? I can't even imagine how good you are at Quidditch, I can't even imagine what it feels like to be hit by your Quaffle!"

Upon hearing this, the burly man scratched his face, whether out of embarrassment or annoyance was unclear. His expression was obscured by his thick, unkempt beard, and even his voice was muffled:

"I am Rubeus Hagrid, the key keeper and gamekeeper of Hogwarts."

He didn't explain the meaning of his height, but after introducing himself in a low voice, he raised his voice again.

"Four people per boat! First-year students, listen up—I'm not a good swimmer! If you don't want to swim in the lake, don't move around! Don't exceed the capacity!"

Edmund didn't understand what was so funny about that remark, but Potter seemed amused and laughed to himself for a while. He only stopped laughing when Hagrid scratched his face again in exasperation and shoved Potter onto Black's boat, who was waving to him.

"You too, freshman," Hagrid sighed. "Hurry up and get on the ship; nobody wants to miss dinner at Hogwarts!"

It seemed he wouldn't be able to get any information out of him this time. Edmund obediently found a small boat and sat down. To his left sat a short, stocky boy with shifty eyes, and to his right sat the tall, thin boy with the scar on his face whom Edmund had met when he first boarded the train.

Edmund had spent most of his conversation on the train, so he just sat there with a forced smile. After a while, the shorter boy began to mutter under his breath:

"Sigh, unless you go too, Remus, unless you go to Hufflepuff, I really don't want to be in the same house as my parents..."

The boy he called "Remus" simply smiled and offered no words of comfort. He turned to look at the castle, his expression extremely serious, as if he wanted to etch this scene into his heart forever.

In this slightly anxious atmosphere, the first-year students of Hogwarts sailed into the underground docks of Hogwarts. After disembarking, they passed through a long tunnel, crossed a grassy area, and climbed a set of stone steps, finally arriving at a huge oak door.

With three knocks, Hagrid opened the door to Hogwarts. A tall witch in a turquoise robe solemnly surveyed the group of little kids before her and nodded to Hagrid.

"Thank you, Hagrid. I'll take them from here."

Hagrid responded and addressed the witch as "Professor McGonagall." It was only after that Edmund learned she was the Head of Gryffindor, but at that time he still firmly believed in his own color-matching principles, thinking McGonagall should be from Slytherin.

Professor McGonagall first welcomed the new students, then briefly explained the roles of sorting and colleges, and finally asked everyone to wait a moment as sorting was about to begin—and thoughtfully reminded some people that they could still tidy up their appearance.

This caused another wave of unease, and the short boy closest to Edmund trembled comically. Fortunately, the Sorting Ceremony began soon, or Edmund suspected he would turn into a mole and burrow underground to escape.

Professor McGonagall led the new students into the Great Hall. Even Edmund, with his discerning eye and tired of ancient castles, had to admit that the Great Hall at Hogwarts looked very grand. What's better is that the style of the decorations, from the dancing candles to the ceiling that simulated the sky, was very "wizardy" and unique enough for him.

Edmund was still quite engrossed. He watched as Professor McGonagall produced an old, pointed wizard's hat, which split open and sang a song that was full of meaning but extremely unpleasant to listen to.

You might not think I'm pretty, but don't judge a book by its cover!

If you can find a magic hat that's smarter than mine,

Then I'll eat myself!

You can make your top hats jet black and shiny.

Make your top hats smooth and crisp.

But I'm a top hat specially made for Hogwarts Sorting House.

Nature is far superior to your hats!

The deep thoughts and wild ideas in your minds,

The thoughts one wants to hide, the flaws one wants to avoid.

Just like their heads, none of them could escape the cover of my magical top hat.

Try it on me and I'll tell you.

Which college should you be assigned to?

You may belong to Gryffindor.

There lies the courage of warriors and heroes.

May you inherit the courage, boldness, and generosity of your ancestors!

May Gryffindor continue to be great.

You may belong to Hufflepuff.

Honesty and loyalty are always commendable.

Hufflepuff students are persevering, honest, and undaunted by hardship.

They can always go against the current!

If you are smart,

Perhaps we should go to the wisdom of Ravenclaw!

A wise and learned person

Perhaps we will eventually find a solution to the problem.

Perhaps you will enter Slytherin, a place of honor and glory, but also of cunning and daggers!

The fire of ambition will slowly cook you.

Perhaps you will need friends who would die for you, or perhaps you have goals that you must achieve.

May you become the glory of Slytherin!

Come on, put me on! Don't be afraid!

Don't panic!

You are absolutely safe in my hands (even though I don't even have one hand).

Because I am a thinking magic hat!

"When I call someone's name, that person should sit down on the stool, put on their hat, and listen to their sorting."

Professor McGonagall looked down at the student list in her hand and frowned slightly.

Professor McGonagall vaguely remembered a name that wasn't in alphabetical order, having appeared on the admissions list five years ago when the child suddenly appeared on the list.

She read aloud:

"Edmund Soman!"

Edmund laughed triumphantly, while Lily gasped in surprise.

Edmund affectedly spread his arms and nodded to the upperclassmen on either side and the teachers' seats in the distance, behaving as if he were being invited to the stage to receive an award. This earned him some good-natured hisses and disdainful snorts, and for a moment, he met Dumbledore's eyes again.

But soon, they all looked away. Edmund stepped forward, nodded obediently to the stern-faced Professor McGonagall, and sat down on the stool. Edmund carefully picked up the brim of the tattered hat and reluctantly put it on his head.

【You really look down on me, you naughty boy! ——'A tattered old hat,' that's the clearest thought in your head, how rude of you!】

A faint voice arose in Edmund's mind, like that of an old child. Then it mumbled:

[Not very clear, not very clear, what's going on? Let me see you properly, don't be shy. Heaven knows, earth knows, you know, I know... Oh, oh! Godric above!]

The Sorting Hat exclaimed in surprise, then burst into laughter as if coughing. His tone then became mischievous and respectful.

Good heavens, this is unbelievable!

Even Godric couldn't have imagined—I actually had the chance to decide a demon god, no, a demon lord? ...Oh no, a servant of the gods...uh, hiss, tsk! Never mind, I don't recognize any of these people!

In short! It's an honor for me to decide which house you'll be sorted into—tell me a story, tell me about it! Edmund, the man of many backgrounds, which house do you want?