Who would study psychology if they didn't have some kind of problem?

Chapter 608 This is also a sense of responsibility
Projection is a concept first proposed by the psychoanalytic school and is now widely used in the field of psychological counseling.

Its forms of expression are diverse.

Empathy, a common phenomenon in counseling, is a special kind of projection.

The popular online phenomenon of "virtual enemy targeting" is also a form of projection.

The line from a certain romance anime, "Because you're wearing yellow glasses, that's why you see yellow," is still a form of projection.

Generally speaking, the word "projection" often carries a negative connotation.

Pointing out someone's projection is an aggressive form of expression.

Fortunately, Nan Zhuren had already spent a lot of time laying the groundwork for Team Leader Li, establishing a relatively basic consulting relationship.

At the same time, it also led to a state of self-exploration.

……

Upon hearing Nan Zhuren's assessment.

Team Leader Li raised his head, his eyes showing no anger or defensiveness.

When Nan Zhuren uttered the word "sense of loss of control," he displayed a kind of helplessness, like a Saiyan whose tail had been grabbed.

“Throw…shoot?” Team Leader Li repeated this somewhat unfamiliar word, as if looking at flowers through a fog, confused yet with a hint of curiosity.

He gradually frowned: "You mean I'm... framing them, I'm shirking my... responsibility?"

Nan Zhuren immediately helped Team Leader Li clarify: "No, that's not what I meant."

His tone was very calm, with an explanation rather than an accusation: "It's a psychological process, an 'emergency program' that our brain automatically activates to protect itself under extreme stress."

Nan Zhuren used a neutral and easy-to-understand metaphor to further reduce the aggressiveness.

This is to avoid making visitors feel blamed and to promote understanding and acceptance.

Nan Zhuren leaned forward slightly and explained in a more vivid way: "To give an analogy—we have a container inside our hearts to hold our various emotions. When disaster strikes, this container is instantly filled with a massive amount of emotions that we cannot bear—"

"For example, the anxiety of watching people suffer without being able to solve the problem immediately; the feeling of insignificance when faced with a huge natural disaster; and... the guilt of feeling that you have not done enough or not fast enough."

Three examples.

Nan Zhuren carefully observed Team Leader Li's reaction to each of his statements.

He saw that Team Leader Li's lips were pursed even tighter, and his fingers unconsciously curled up.

“These emotions, especially guilt and helplessness, are so heavy that they can almost crush a person.” Nan Zhuren’s voice was low and full of empathy. “At this time, our psychological defense system will kick in.”

"It's like a protective filter, unconsciously 'projecting' these unbearable, painful emotions from within to the outside, attributing them to an external person or thing. Because facing an external 'bad person' is much easier to bear than admitting that you are filled with powerlessness and guilt."

It seems to be explaining the mechanism of [projection].

But given Team Leader Li's abilities, it's impossible that he couldn't understand Nan Zhuren's implied meaning.
He remained silent for a while.

After a long pause, he finally managed to say with difficulty, "So... the 'them' I found out was actually myself... unable to take it anymore?"

……

Regarding Team Leader Li's question.

“That’s one way to understand it,” Nan Zhuren affirmed.

Before Team Leader Li could react, Nan Zhuren promptly offered further support: "But this isn't your fault, Team Leader Li. This just shows how strong your sense of responsibility is, so strong that you don't allow yourself to feel powerless."

"Faced with natural disasters that you are powerless to change, your brain 'creates' a target for you to fight and be angry in order to keep you going and prevent you from being consumed by these emotions."

Nan Zhuren looked into Team Leader Li's eyes: "This 'hypothetical enemy' is another manifestation of your high sense of responsibility—although it will cause you a lot of pain."

Team Leader Li's "projection" can be interpreted as "the painful manifestation of a high sense of responsibility," rather than "shirking responsibility" or "character flaws."

The series of explanations that followed worked.

Team Leader Li's emotions hadn't even had a chance to surface before they vanished in an instant.

"I..." Team Leader Li's throat moved, as if he wanted to say something.

Nan Zhuren stared at Team Leader Li's face.

At this point, the other party's reaction is very important.

If the other party accepts your explanation, then the intervention can enter the formal healing phase and begin to have a positive effect.

And if the other party continues to defend themselves as before, they will be provoked...

Then Nan Zhuren should consider temporarily ending today's intervention, retaining only the gains from the "psychological assessment".

Fortunately.

Then we heard Team Leader Li let out a long sigh.

No words were spoken.

【silence】

No reaction—that's the biggest reaction you can expect!
Nan Zhuren breathed a sigh of relief and pressed on. He asked in a very gentle tone, "If it's convenient, could you tell me if there was a moment during this disaster relief process that made you feel... that sense of helplessness? Like, no matter how hard you try, it seems like you can't change the outcome?"

This question seems to have flipped a switch.

Team Leader Li took a deep breath, making his whole body swell up a bit.

His gaze wasn't on Nan Zhuren, but rather fixed on the air in front of him; it seemed as if an invisible image was gathering in that small space.

"...Tsk." Team Leader Li picked up the mineral water bottle in front of him and took a big gulp. "Remember that waterproof tarpaulin I told you about before, the one that was three days late?"

“Of course,” Nan Zhuren said. He remembered the visitor’s statement as if it were ingrained in his mind. “I remember you also emphasized that ‘if the things had arrived earlier, more people could have been saved.’”

Nan Zhuren looked inquisitive: "Was your last accusation directed at this matter?"

“Yes.” Team Leader Li nodded. “Back then… the flood was still very fierce, much fiercer than what you see at the camp now. There was a low-lying urban village in our area where the water had already reached the second floor. At that time, I was coordinating the evacuation of the last batch of trapped people.”

He spoke slowly, each word seeming to be retrieved from a heavy memory. "Most people evacuated, but in one self-built building, according to the neighbors, there was still an elderly person living alone. They were hard of hearing and probably didn't hear the evacuation announcement. The water was too strong; our inflatable boats couldn't get through, and the firefighters' rescue ropes couldn't be thrown that far. We watched as the water level slowly rose towards the third floor..."

Team Leader Li paused, swallowing hard. He clenched his fist so tightly his knuckles turned white.

"Later, a more powerful rescue boat was finally dispatched. My two teammates, a local guide, and I risked our lives to rush over. Furniture, debris, and... sigh. We finally got close to the building, but the water had already reached the third-floor windowsill."

He paused for a long time, as if gathering the courage to continue.

Nan Zhuren stared intently at Team Leader Li's expression.

“We broke open the window and searched the flooded room… Finally, we found him in the attic. The old man was curled up on an old box, the water up to his chest. He was clutching a cloth bag tightly in his hand, inside which was a photo of him and his wife, and some yellowed documents… As we lifted him onto the rescue boat, he kept murmuring ‘thank you,’ saying he was sorry for causing us trouble…”

The story seems to be progressing well; so far, the situation can only be described as a close call.

But the turning point came unexpectedly.

"We safely delivered him to the resettlement point. But... just as we were heading back to the next location, a message came through the walkie-talkie... cough."

Team Leader Li cleared his throat forcefully.

He is not only conveying a message to Nan Zhuren, but also engaging in a form of self-healing venting.

"Just as we were rescuing that old man, a section of the temporarily reinforced river embankment in the neighboring area breached, and several young team members who were plugging the seepage... three were swept away... only one was found..."

“I keep thinking… if we had more rescue resources back then, if the dispatching had been more perfect… if that powerful rescue boat had arrived ten minutes earlier… could we have rescued that old man faster? And then that boat, those people, could they have gotten there in time to support the riverbank? Would those three young men have been spared…”

Team Leader Li paused here, or rather—choked up.

Compared to other visitors, Team Leader Li is much more restrained. Whenever extreme emotions surge, he chooses to remain silent to suppress and process them.

Nan Zhuren expressed optimism about the situation.

After all, it was their first conversation, and it wasn't realistic to expect such a tough man to burst into tears in front of her.

Nan Zhuren waited quietly, giving Team Leader Li ample time to release his long-suppressed emotions.

During this process, he did not try to comfort her with words, but simply waited quietly.

This time it took an exceptionally long time, enough for more than a dozen deep breaths.

Team Leader Li finally looked up: "The supplies that were delivered three days late... were actually waterproof tarpaulins."

He chuckled self-deprecatingly: "Waterproof tarpaulin, hmm, it doesn't seem to have anything to do with that accident, right? Even if it were delivered early, it wouldn't have helped much, would it?"

Nan Zhuren did not respond, and this question did not need to be answered.

Nan Zhuren simply frowned and responded with a bitter smile befitting the current situation.

Sure enough, Team Leader Li answered his own question the next moment: "Yes, I actually know that this matter has nothing to do with logistics and supplies. The situation on the river embankment is more urgent, and resource allocation has a higher priority. I understand that."

"But...but I keep thinking about 'what ifs'...and in the end, I feel like there's a huge rock stuck in my chest, making it hard to breathe, and then...I always want to find something or someone to blame...it's like that makes me feel a little better..."

Nan Zhuren listened quietly.

At this point, he actually adopted a neutral stance.

Because the next question is crucial.

This is the last question.

Nan Zhuren asked, "Did you start to feel that 'them' was slowing down the allocation of supplies after that incident?"

Team Leader Li, who was still struggling with his emotions, was suddenly pulled out of his shell.

He thought for a moment, and after three breaths, he finally spoke: "I... don't remember that clearly. Maybe. I complained about the slow speed of resource allocation before because of this, but I could understand... maybe it's because of this that I started arguing with people so often..."

Team Leader Li pondered for a moment, as if he had made up his mind: "...Yes, you could say it was after this incident, you could say that, that's right."

He let out a long sigh of relief, as if he had removed a thick layer of armor.

He looked much more relaxed.

However, in Nan Zhuren's eyes, Team Leader Li, having lowered his guard, was even more dangerous when facing the outside world.

The reason it's called "defense" is because it does indeed have a protective function.

Even if such protection is harmful.

What Nan Zhuren needs to do next is to teach Team Leader Li how to deal with external dangers and how to protect himself.

The wound has been cleaned and it's time to suture it.

……

"Thank you for telling me this."

As is customary, Nan Zhuren first offers a series of "unconditional positive regards" to give the visitor positive psychological energy.

Looking into Team Leader Li's eyes, Nan Zhuren said earnestly, "Bearing such memories and carrying such a heavy burden, you still manage to stay at your post and coordinate countless tasks... Team Leader Li, this goes beyond simply being 'responsible.' It requires immense courage and perseverance—"

"—So," Nan Zhuren's expression turned serious, "please understand. The situation you're facing now, this 'searching for a hypothetical enemy,' is absolutely not because you're a bad person or want to shirk responsibility. On the contrary, it's precisely because you're too responsible, too moral, and unable to accept your powerlessness in reality that your mind is triggering this self-protection mechanism."

Nan Zhuren tried to soften all negative language: "This situation is not a failure of you as a coordinator, but a tragic struggle of you as a flesh-and-blood, conscientious and responsible person under extreme pressure."

It was visible to the naked eye that Team Leader Li's expression changed little by little as Nan Zhuren recounted his story.

"—But," Nan Zhuren then changed the subject.

“Team Leader Li, we must also recognize that while this protection mechanism may have helped you in the short term, it is also continuously draining you, causing insomnia, anxiety, irritability, and strained relationships with your colleagues.”

"More importantly, it makes you waste your precious energy and wisdom on an imaginary enemy, which may affect your efficiency and judgment in solving real problems."

As he spoke, Nan Zhuren took out an A4 sheet of paper and laid it on the table.

"What we need to do now is not to deny your sense of responsibility, but to find a healthier and more sustainable place for this sense of responsibility."

(End of this chapter)