Who would study psychology if they didn't have some kind of problem?

Chapter 607 Powerlessness and Projection
In psychological intervention, we are not afraid of difficulties, but we are afraid of no difficulties being presented.

After thinking for a while, Nan Zhuren decided on the strategy to be used next.

His posture changed from leaning slightly forward to leaning completely back in the chair.

The serious expression on his face, which had been focused on discussing the issue, softened, replaced by a smile that conveyed understanding and helplessness.

This is done by changing one's posture and expression to convey a shared stance to the visitor, thereby quickly reducing the visitor's defensiveness and vigilance.

“Team Leader Li, you are very perceptive.” Nan Zhuren’s voice was calm. “Indeed, if we followed the standard procedure, I would most likely have asked those questions next.”

Nan Zhuren did not deny Team Leader Li's hypothesis, but directly admitted it.

This avoids getting bogged down in pointless trust arguments and steers the consultation in a more controlled direction.

"This shows that you have thought very deeply about your situation and how others might respond."

Of course, besides choosing the direction of the conversation, Nan Zhuren also used a few other tricks. His voice became low and deep, carrying the ability of [emotional soothing].

Team Leader Li clearly hadn't expected Nan Zhuren to respond in this way, as it didn't match the style of "conversation" he had envisioned.

He thought Nan Zhuren would refute or cover up, or choose to change the subject—just like those who had spoken to him before.

Extreme emotions come and go quickly. Once the anger at its peak cannot find a suitable target, it is quickly released, allowing the emotions to subside.

Team Leader Li's tense lips softened slightly, but the furrow in his brows remained. He tilted his head and clicked his tongue: "What's the use of thinking? Thinking changes nothing."

“Thinking may not have changed the external facts for the time being,” Nan Zhuren continued, “but it has made you clearly see the dead end that our conversation might be heading down. That in itself is valuable, at least it has saved us at least... fifteen minutes of ineffective dialogue.”

"And the time saved, just like you said when you first came in, can be used for serious things, such as disaster relief coordination or expediting the supply of materials."

Nan Zhuren continued to take responsibility for the "ineffectiveness of the standard process" and transformed this negative situation into a positive feedback that could "save time".

At the same time, he continued to build an alliance between himself and Team Leader Li by using the phrase "the two of us".

Team Leader Li paused for a moment.

Although Nan Zhuren mentioned "getting down to business," Team Leader Li was indeed eager to "get down to business" when he entered the room.

But when Nan Zhuren brought up the matter again, he no longer showed any signs of being in a hurry to leave.

He simply sat down in the chair, picked up the mineral water, and took another sip—this sip was smaller than the previous one.

Nan Zhuren knew that his response had worked, so he continued his efforts.

He spread his hands, making a slightly mocking gesture of surrender: "Look, you've pointed out the route I was planning to take. So I'll just have to be honest and take a different route. To be frank, your situation is one of the more tricky ones I've encountered in the textbooks I've studied."

To engage in self-disclosure once more, while simultaneously downgrading one's identity.

After that sentence, Nan Zhuren was no longer a psychological expert who came to talk to Team Leader Li with a mission; he was now an ordinary person with psychological knowledge who came to communicate with Team Leader Li, or even to discuss a certain matter together.

Of course, if the visitor is more rude, the other party might take advantage of the situation and directly use a high-handed attitude to pressure Nan Zhuren.

But Team Leader Li is clearly not that kind of person.

Li Ming raised his eyelids and looked at Nan Zhuren seriously: "Troublesome?"

He inadvertently followed Nan Zhuren's lead and began to discuss the issues together.

“Yes, it’s tricky.” Nan Zhuren nodded. “Not because your problem is that serious, but because you’re too smart and too clear-headed. Ordinary advice and guidance are like scratching an itch through a boot, or even, as you said, just nonsense.”

Nan Zhuren continued to thoroughly analyze the current situation, as if he were genuinely discussing a certain issue.

Furthermore, they tried to invite Team Leader Li to—solve the "problem".

Nan Zhuren paused deliberately to observe Team Leader Li's reaction.

Seeing that the other person leaned forward slightly, showing interest in listening, Nan Zhuren introduced the key turning point:

"So, can we refrain from judging 'who's right and who's wrong' for now? And let's not argue about whether the logistics department has any problems. Can we just have a hypothetical discussion?"

Li Ming hesitated for a moment, then nodded: "Suppose? You... tell me."

……

We finally pulled it back.

Nan Zhuren breathed a sigh of relief.

“Okay.” But Nan Zhuren’s expression remained unchanged. He leaned forward slightly and looked intently at Team Leader Li. “Let’s assume—just an assumption—that the operational efficiency of the logistics department, like the terrible road conditions and weather in this disaster area, is an objective, massive, and malfunctioning ‘system problem’.”

Nan Zhuren pointed out the key point: "It is slow, but it is not targeted at anyone. It is slow for everyone because it inherently carries capabilities beyond the design."

"It does have problems, but the problems lie with those 'designers'."

The difference between this and previous conversations between Team Leader Li and the instructor is that Nan Zhuren did not try to resolve the issue, but instead shifted the focus away from it.

In this situation, the logistics department responsible for allocating supplies was placed in a relatively neutral position.

Team Leader Li still had a target for confrontation, a clear target of his anger—but it was no longer the logistics department.

really.

Hearing this, Team Leader Li found it much easier to accept. His brows furrowed again, but this time he didn't immediately refute it; instead, he listened patiently.

Nan Zhuren continued to guide the process, using a different approach to continue today's original intervention plan.

“So, under this assumption,” Nan Zhuren continued, slowing his speech and asking carefully, “I was thinking, could we focus on how you feel about this matter?”

"The department you are responsible for has changed. Has your feeling changed accordingly?"

In a normal conversation, they would definitely ask Team Leader Li to directly accept the assumption that "the mistake may have been made by someone else."

But Nan Zhuren disagrees; the focus of this intervention is on feeling and reflection.

By examining hostile targets, we can begin to examine ourselves.

This approach brings the consultation back to the framework of the Socratic method of questioning, and belongs to the category of "logical inquiry questioning".

The difference is that the logic is buried much deeper this time.

……

To the naked eye, Team Leader Li was stunned.

[Tight chin, prominent chewing muscles.]

Slight nasal wing widening.

[Aggressive.]

But...his lips were tightly pressed together, and his gaze averted.

Is this restraint, and... bewilderment?

"I……"

Team Leader Li's gaze lingered for a moment before he said, "Regardless of whose fault it is, it caused a problem, and that problem must be solved. Someone has to take responsibility." "The allocation of resources can't be this inefficient; it's too slow. I still need to find a way to report this to higher authorities, otherwise the problem won't be resolved."

Nan Zhuren nodded, affirming Team Leader Li's statement: "Yes, the problem must be solved."

“But the situation is a little different now,” Nan Zhuren added. “Before, you could take every opportunity to call and express your dissatisfaction. But now it seems you can’t do that anymore, because this is a matter of ‘planning’ and ‘scheming,’ something with a much larger framework.”

"Even if it makes a mistake and it is pointed out during this disaster relief process, it cannot correct it immediately."

Nan Zhuren spoke at length, and seeing that Team Leader Li was becoming increasingly silent, Nan Zhuren added a concluding remark for interaction: "I think I haven't misunderstood, have I?"

Team Leader Li subconsciously gave a professional answer, deepening his involvement in the topic of Nan Zhuren: "...Yes, it's true that it can't be corrected in a short time."

Nan Zhuren said, "Okay, let's continue along this line of thought—in this situation, in your subsequent work, will you try your best to make up for the losses caused by this problem, such as speeding up the allocation of supplies, or—"

Nan Zhuren's words were interrupted.

Team Leader Li quickly added, "I will definitely adjust my own work, and I am already making efforts in this regard."

Team Leader Li took a deep breath: "But I will definitely find a way to report this to higher authorities and change the current situation... even if I haven't thought of a solution yet. After all, things can't go on like this; the current situation is definitely not acceptable!"

……

Nan Zhuren felt no dissatisfaction at being interrupted, nor did she have any negative thoughts.

There was even some joy.

Team Leader Li's reaction was exactly what Nan Zhuren needed.

Nan Zhuren continued to support Team Leader Li, saying, "Very good, I understand your thoughts now. Can you tell me how you feel now? Is it the same as before?"

Team Leader Li nodded: "Yes, the same, no change."

Nan Zhuren stretched out his hand and made a pressing motion in front of him, indicating that the rhythm could be slowed down: "You can first carefully feel yourself."

At this point, Team Leader Li had developed a certain degree of subconscious cooperation with Nan Zhuren.

He didn't close his eyes, but took two deep breaths, his gaze fixed on a single point. After three breaths, he nodded and said, "Yes, no change."

Nan Zhuren nodded: "So what are the components of your feelings?"

This time, however, Team Leader Li lacked his previous decisiveness.

He paused for a moment, then said, "...I'm very angry."

He hesitated a bit, clearly not saying everything.

Nan Zhuren nodded, then deliberately asked, "Is there anything else?"

Team Leader Li did not answer. He neither denied nor agreed.

He seemed about to open his mouth, but quickly closed it again.

This suggests that he seems to have an answer in his mind, but for various reasons, he hasn't said it aloud.

Nan Zhuren knew that since the counseling relationship was not yet firmly established and the client was not very cooperative, he needed to act as the client's mouthpiece to say what the other party wanted to say but did not say.

It can't be too direct; it must be precise.

Recognizing emotions is precisely what Nan Zhuren excels at.

Of course, Nan Zhuren cannot directly use the other person's micro-expressions as a basis for judgment. Things that are too far beyond common sense can sometimes give people the impression that "I don't understand, so I don't have to believe it."

Nan Zhuren needs to use a more consultative approach.

Nan Zhuren first confirmed, "You seem to have other emotions?"

Team Leader Li's gaze darted around for a moment: "Maybe..."

Nan Zhuren nodded: "You seem to be unclear about this emotion yourself, that's okay. People's perception of their own emotions can't be 100% accurate—would you like to hear my judgment?"

Team Leader Li looked into Nan Zhuren's eyes.

No rejection.

Nan Zhuren said, "In your statement just now, there was something that has always existed—"

Nan Zhuren also looked into Team Leader Li's eyes, and the two stared at each other without any obstruction.

Nan Zhuren took a deep breath: "—That is 'disaster'."

This statement made Team Leader Li blink in confusion; wasn't this the background of their conversation?

Pointing this out is like saying something pointless.

Nan Zhuren explained, “When your topic is only ‘disaster,’ you don’t feel ‘anger’ but rather another kind of emotion that causes you pain.”

Nan Zhuren held up one finger: "When you first came in, you said you were short on time and had a lot of things to do. At a time like this, all you show is this kind of attitude."

Nan Zhuren held up a second finger: "Then, when you mentioned the slow coordination of supplies and the inability to respond quickly, you initially had the same emotion, and only later did anger emerge."

Nan Zhuren held up a third finger: "When you said 'the tarpaulin was three days late, causing even greater losses,' your anger reached its peak, and that emotion also reached a climax. But what's interesting is—"

"At this time, this emotion arrives before anger; at the same time, its peak is also higher than your anger."

Nan Zhuren stretched out his other hand and gestured in front of him.

"It seems as if your anger was actually fueled by it."

……

At some point, Team Leader Li avoided eye contact with Nan Zhuren.

He stared at the mineral water bottle on the table, but his ears remained perked up.

Nan Zhuren said slowly, "It would be difficult for me to describe this emotion precisely; it seems to encompass many things—"

Nan Zhuren listed them off as if they were his own treasures: "Sadness, helplessness, frustration... and so on."

"But if you put them together, it seems there is an answer."

Nan Zhuren said, enunciating each word clearly, "That's a 'sense of loss of control,' or rather—a sense of powerlessness."

……

Right after Nan Zhuren uttered those three words.

It was visible to the naked eye that Team Leader Li's nostrils flared open and closed forcefully.

He inhaled large amounts of oxygen into his abdominal cavity to provide strength.

Before Nan Zhuren could finish speaking, he slowly said, "Team Leader Li, in psychology we have a term called 'projection'."

"It refers to the unconscious attribution of an individual's unacceptable, threatening, or painful emotions, impulses, or thoughts to the external world or others."

(End of this chapter)