Who would study psychology if they didn't have some kind of problem?

Chapter 275 "Sensible" and "Obedient"

She wasn't "sensible," she was "obedient."

Upon hearing Nan Zhuren's conclusion, Weng Pingting slowly turned her head back and focused all her attention on driving.

Dr. Chen was taken aback.

"Aren't 'obedient' and 'sensible' the same? How are they different..."

As mentioned before, this is not a psychological consultation, and Dr. Chen is not a client.

He came to "consult" Nan Zhuren with questions. As Nan Zhuren spoke, Dr. Chen's mind began to race.

After subconsciously raising questions based on common sense, he quickly began to try to understand the meaning behind Nan Zhuren's words.

His voice also began to gradually soften.

Nan Zhuren pursed her lips, giving Dr. Chen some time to think.

After silently counting to about five breaths, Nan Zhuren changed the subject, as if she had switched to a different topic.

"When I looked at the materials before, I saw that your spouse is also a doctor, Dr. Chen, right?"

Dr. Chen nodded: "Yes, I'm from the emergency room, and my wife is from pediatrics. We met at a hospital-organized event..."

Emergency department and pediatrics department.

Nan Zhuren took a deep breath.

What I’m about to say may be based on some empirical speculation. If there’s anything wrong, you can correct me or interrupt me at any time.

Nan Zhuren spoke very politely.

However, based on his understanding, whether intentional or unintentional, this "guess" can actually be considered a "fact".

It's just that saying it this way is more euphemistic.

Nan Zhuren asked, "Are you usually busy at work?"

Dr. Chen nodded: "It's been better in recent years. A few years ago, I was practically on call 24/7. Even during my rest time, I could be called back home at any time. My wife is a little better off, but she's also basically never home."

"The work pressure must be very high, right?"

Dr. Chen didn't even want to say anything this time, just smiled. But remembering that she was still talking to Nan Zhuren, she still added, "Well... it's big."

The tone of the answer was almost a sigh.

"Are there any good ways to relieve this pressure? Have you ever... brought it home?"

Nan Zhuren said this.

With Dr. Chen's comprehension skills, by this point he already understood what Nan Zhuren meant.

He gave a self-deprecating laugh: "Of course it exists. It's not just us, it's common for all doctors. The various pressures at work make us either unwilling to talk when we get home, or we explode over the smallest things—and if there's a major accident, or some tedious meetings or messy reports, the situation will be even worse."

"Besides work pressure, we often argued because we couldn't balance work hours and family life... But that was a few years ago. Recently, either we've gotten used to it, or we've been promoted, so the pressure has decreased somewhat..."

Nan Zhuren nodded and asked a crucial question.

"When you two were arguing, did you do it in front of Xiao Jie?"

……

In response to Nan Zhuren's question, Dr. Chen instinctively replied, "No, we all..."

But the next moment, he doubted himself once again.

“We all…deliberately avoided arguing with her. But that's something we only noticed later; when she was little, we probably didn't pay attention…”

“Even after she got a little older, the most we did was stop arguing in front of her.” Dr. Chen lowered his gaze: “But we were all in the same house. Even if we avoided Xiao Jie, to say that Xiao Jie never heard anything... that’s just self-deception.”

Dr. Chen did not engage in any defensive or denial tactics.

After his initial instinct to defend himself, he quickly gained a deeper understanding and presented the most objective facts possible.

If you encountered such a visitor in the consultation room, you could imagine how much less effort it would save, and how happy Nan Zhuren would be.

But at this moment, Nan Zhuren could only sigh inwardly.

Dr. Chen's eyes became somewhat helpless: "Teacher Nan, Xiao Jie has been diagnosed with depression. Is it because of the arguments I had with her mother in the past, which left Xiao Jie with psychological trauma?"

Nan Zhuren did not confirm this.

Instead, he asked an even more tricky question: "Did your argument involve Xiaojie? For example, her education, which school she should attend, which tutoring class she should enroll in, and who should pick her up today..."

"Have you ever argued about these issues that require parents to spend time and energy on their children, and was it even possible that Xiao Jie could hear them?"

Dr. Chen fell silent for the second time.

This time, the silence is no longer a thoughtful silence, but rather an evasive silence that has finally emerged.

Nan Zhuren observed Dr. Chen's expression and confirmed that although the other party was avoiding the issue at the moment, he was still able to receive information from the outside world.

He took a deep breath.

"In my report at that meeting, I analyzed Xiao Jie and said that she has a 'pleasing social style' or a 'people-pleasing personality'."

"The formation of any personal characteristic is ultimately shaped by the dual influence of 'innate genes' and 'acquired environment'."

"And in the initial stage of the formation of any individual's personality, the environment they first come into contact with—the family—has the greatest influence on them."

"The people Xiao Jie initially tried to please and flatter were actually—you."

Nan Zhuren knew that what he was about to say would be somewhat cruel, but he had to say it.

"That's why I say she's 'obedient' rather than 'sensible.' There's a fundamental difference between the two words."

“In a sense, ‘obedience’ is the opposite of ‘sensible’.”

“‘Being sensible’ means that she is reasonable, knows what her current situation means, knows how to make choices, and knows what the consequences of those choices will be.”

“And ‘obedience’ actually means that she—” Nan Zhuren slowed down her speech, almost word by word, “doesn’t understand anything.”

Nan Zhuren's voice was almost a sigh.

"Or to put it another way, she does 'know' something; she knows she needs to make you happy and put your minds at ease."

"And what's scary is—that's all she knows."

……

The air was silent.

Even the entire car became quiet and stopped vibrating.

As the red light ahead slowly turned green, Weng Pingting, who had remained silent, gently pressed the accelerator, and the car started moving again.

The surroundings had just begun to show signs of life.

Dr. Chen then seemed to come to his senses and slowly began to speak:

“We…have always felt very lucky, lucky that Xiaojie is so… ‘obedient.’ We’re so busy at work every day, and she makes things so easy for us.”

"But actually, isn't that the wrong way of thinking, Professor Nan?"

(End of this chapter)