Fatal Desire

Chapter 146 Mature Love and Immature Love
"Did I say something wrong?" Song Xi looked directly at him, tears silently streaming down her face. "You love me, but whether I'm there or not makes no difference to you. And me? I love you too, but I can live a good life without you now."

She was referring to the present.

She had finally made up her mind to let go, but he insisted on trying to sway her, saying that he loved her.

Song Xi is trying hard to catch Zhao Yansen; if he can't, then so be it.

She can still live a beautiful life without him.

Zhao Yansen knew Song Xi all too well.

Once she makes a decision, there's no going back.

Song Xi turned her head away from him: "I don't need anyone to take care of me, and even if I did, it doesn't necessarily have to be you."

Zhao Yansen swallowed hard, raised his hand, and gently stroked her cold cheek with his warm palm. He called her name softly, coaxing her in an almost embarrassed manner.

“Song Xi, you can live a good life without me, but I can’t live a normal life without you.”

"That's your own business." Song Xi tried her best to suppress her emotions, but she couldn't hold back and shook off Zhao Yansen, trying to walk forward.

Zhao Yansen anticipated her actions, picked her up and carried her to the car parked nearby.

Startled by the sudden feeling of weightlessness, Song Xi cried out, kicking her legs wildly and pounding on his shoulders with her hands: "Let go! Let go of me! Let go!"

Zhao Yansen ignored her, his handsome face cold, and strode towards the car. He then put one arm around her and opened the car door with the other.

Struggling to no avail, Song Xi grew impatient and angrily bit his shoulder. Her teeth were sharp, and her bite was vicious.

Zhao Yansen didn't even frown as he carefully shoved her into the passenger seat, leaned closer, and pulled on the seatbelt to fasten it for her.

He then closed the car door, walked around the front of the car, and got into the driver's seat.

Not far away, at the restaurant entrance, Gu Beixiao stood beside the lion statue, gazing thoughtfully at the black car in the dim light.

The only license plate number in Beijing is 7777.

They were strikingly beautiful and possessed a refined and unique air, making them highly visible in the summer night, impossible to miss.

While Zhao Yansen was getting into the car, Song Xi unbuckled her seatbelt and tried to push the door open to get out, only to find that the door was locked from the inside.

She turned her head, her eyes brimming with tears, looking broken and sorrowful. She spoke, her voice defiant: "Since you know I don't want to continue this entanglement with you, what are you doing now? Brother, I hate you! I've said it so many times, I hate you..."

Song Xi said vaguely and desperately, "Zhao Yansen, you're a bastard, I hate you..."

"I love you."

Zhao Yansen gripped the back of her neck with his large hand, leaned closer, and pressed his forehead against hers: "Xixi, don't hate me."

The veins on the back of his hand bulged powerfully, but he restrained his strength in controlling her, avoiding hurting her.

Unable to break free from his hold, Song Xi's eyes welled up with tears, which silently streamed down her face like falling stars.

"So what do you want? Do you want to go back to the way things were? Let me tell you, I can't do it! Don't you understand that I can't do it? No... you do understand, you just think my thoughts don't matter, everything has to be according to your wishes... No matter how much I beg you, beg you not to send me abroad, beg you to let me go, you will not agree..."

Song Xi was emotionally distraught, teetering on the brink of collapse, tears streaming down her face.

Who can she blame?
He almost died because of her. She couldn't blame him; she could only blame herself.

Zhao Yansen felt as if a sharp needle was buried in his heart, constantly pricking him with a dull, persistent pain.

At that moment, he witnessed firsthand that he was the catalyst for her illness.

While Song Xi was pondering whether Zhao Yansen loved her, Zhao Yansen was troubled by her immature love and worried that she would pay a heavy price for it.

but……

Does being older, the older brother, mean he's always right? And being younger, the younger sister, means he's destined to be wrong?

Is mature love necessarily nobler than immature love?

Zhao Yansen, being in a high position, was rational to the point of being cruel.

He taught Song Xi very well.

But no matter how good something is, it can't be taken to excess. Once it crosses a certain line and goes straight for the extreme, it becomes a fatal flaw.

She asked him more than once, "Don't you ever think you're being unreasonable?"

Was he being unreasonable?
Zhao Yansen put his arm around Song Xi's waist, pulled her into his arms tightly, closed his eyes, and said in a low, husky voice, "What am I going to do with you?"

Song Xi clenched his shirt tightly, her knuckles turning white, her wet eyelashes trembling, and tears streaming down her face, soaking his shoulder.

People seem to experience a sudden surge of growth and enlightenment in a particular year. This sudden discovery of a truth transforms what was once a meaningless point in time into a dividing line.

For Song Xi, the turning point in her life was four years ago.

The raging fire in her heart was extinguished in an instant, leaving her soul shattered, like a small fish caught in the eye of a storm, bewildered and powerless.

She couldn't hate him.

Ultimately, it was her own fault for not being able to bear it back then, and it is her own fault for being so easily swayed now.

She could no longer yearn for Zhao Yansen.

And desire itself implies lack.

Once emotions begin to rise, whether it's anger or sadness, Song Xi's mind goes completely blank, making her prone to losing control and collapsing.

When the boiling blood calms down and certain distracting thoughts are discarded, things become simpler, making communication smoother.

“Song Xi, your thoughts are very important.” Zhao Yansen tightened his grip on her, holding her even more tightly. “But I can’t agree to you leaving.”

His voice was low, "If you don't want to get married, then don't. Your brother will stay with you for life."

Song Xi calmed down a little, but upon hearing this, her heart skipped a beat. She tried her best to push Zhao Yansen away, but he held her tightly and she couldn't budge him at all.

"don't want……"

"No one in the world loves you more than I do." Zhao Yansen interrupted her, his tone unusually pleading. "Please."

He called her name and coaxed, "Xixi, you want it."

Zhao Yansen poured all the love in his life into Song Xi.

She was his undying desire, his deepest depravity and obsession.

They knew each other's embarrassments and baseness, and possessed each other's everything.

Whether good or bad, true or false, they are each other's deepest bond, each other's other beating heart.

Song Xi's fingers curled stiffly, and a sharp, suffocating pain shot through her heart.

Her emotions were like a bomb, ready to explode at any moment.

She hated being out of control like this.

“No, brother…” Song Xi shook her head, “Don’t compromise for me anymore.”

Zhao Yansen's heart felt as if it had been doused with cold water. His chest heaved slightly, and he frowned, saying in a deep voice:

"So you want to play the villain, take the initiative to marry Gu Beixiao, and do everything you can to make things right for me so that I can marry someone else without any ties?"