Oh no! They all seem a bit off!

Chapter 180 Akizuki Makoto will spend his whole life atoning for his sins

"..."

Ji Yexue listened to Qiu Yuecheng's words and remained stunned for a long time.

Suddenly, she felt a warm sensation on her cheek. When she reached out to touch it, she found it was wet.

She didn't know when it started, but her eyes were filled with tears.

She watched Akizuki Makoto silently, tears streaming down her face. Although she said nothing, the sorrow and disappointment in her eyes spoke volumes.

Seeing Ji Yexue shed tears, Qiuyue Cheng also felt a pang of sadness and resentment.

He unconsciously reached out and touched Ji Yexue's tear-streaked face, wanting to wipe away her tears, but she took a step back and dodged him.

Ji Yexue tried hard to suppress her sobs and said, "Cheng, you've become so scary, so unfamiliar."

When Akizuki Makoto finished answering her question and explaining his inner thoughts, the softest part of her heart suddenly felt as if it had been stabbed, causing unbearable pain.

Her impression of Akizuki Makoto suddenly collapsed, and all the beauty was shattered.

It's hard to imagine that Akizuki Makoto would say such cruel and vile things to her because of his own selfishness.

How could she possibly agree with Akizuki Makoto's ideas?

She had already been humble enough and accommodating enough to Akizuki Makoto.

The question is, could Akizuki Makoto accept sharing her with another man?
Ji Yexue took a deep breath, suppressing the surging emotions in her heart, turned around, and said to Qiuyue Cheng with her back to him, "That's enough. Go. Go find your Shiina. From now on, I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore."

"...I'm sorry, but I won't give up on my ideas. One day, I will make you agree."

Akizuki Makoto knew that it was not the right time to continue the discussion, and he did not expect to get Ji Yexue to agree immediately. He was prepared for a long battle.

"Then I'll be going now. I'll explain to your mother later."

After saying that, Qiuyue Cheng brushed past Ji Yexue and headed towards the main hall.

As he passed by, Ji Yexue suddenly felt an impulse that made her want to grab Qiu Yuecheng's hand and talk to him again to dispel his absurd idea.

but……

She understands Akizuki Makoto.

Akizuki Makoto's mind would not be swayed by her words.

Now that Akizuki Makoto has spoken to her, he must have already made the corresponding decision.

"...Why is this happening?"

Ji Yexue stared blankly as Qiu Yuecheng walked further and further away, her vision blurring.

She couldn't help but hug herself tightly, squat down, and sob uncontrollably.

Her once unattainable dream had become within reach, but then suddenly turned into this, and this disparity tormented her.

She could still remember that these past few nights, Akizuki Makoto's gentle voice had been telling her stories to lull her to sleep.

What was Akizuki Makoto thinking at that time? What was his mindset when he used such a gentle tone to coax her to sleep?

Thinking about all this, Ji Yexue felt a wave of sorrow and disgust.

Makoto Akizuki learned a week ago that Maki Shiina's mother was seriously ill in bed, which means he has been troubled and conflicted these past few days.

Throughout the nights of this week, Akizuki Makoto's mind was filled with thoughts of other women.

That gentle tone might not have been directed at her, but rather at Shiina Maki.

He felt heartbroken for Shiina Maki's misfortune and sympathized with her plight, so he stayed with her until she fell asleep.

"Heh, heh heh, you really fooled me completely, you're really something..."

Ji Yexue laughed bitterly, but her laughter was full of self-mockery.

At that moment, she felt like a ridiculous clown.

If she had been able to confirm her relationship with Akizuki Makoto earlier, at least a week ago, wouldn't everything have been different?
Especially if, on that yacht night, the night that was interrupted by Touko's sudden appearance, he and Akizuki Makoto had been able to unite in body and soul and confirm their relationship, would Akizuki Makoto have been able to resist betraying her due to his inner moral constraints?

Unfortunately, there are no "what ifs" in this world, nor can time be reversed.

What's done is done; she couldn't stop Akizuki Makoto from running off to Shiina Maki.

Ji Yexue couldn't understand which step she had taken wrong that led to things developing to this point.

She couldn't understand why Akizuki Makoto could make the decision not to give up either of them, which made her feel extremely unfamiliar and frightened.

Clearly, Akizuki Makoto isn't that kind of person. His inner sense of morality and guilt would restrain him and prevent him from making such a decision.

Sure enough, people do change, especially when it comes to their own interests.

Ji Yexue couldn't understand Qiuyue Cheng. Just as Qiuyue Cheng said, she only sensed his selfishness and greed.

No matter how noble or unavoidable Qiuyuecheng's reasons may be, they cannot conceal the fact that he deeply hurt Ji Yexue.

Ji Yexue didn't know if Shiina Maki would accept it, but that was none of her business.

She would rather sever ties with Akizuki Makoto than compromise; this was her bottom line and her pride.

She wanted to prove to Akizuki Makoto that she could live without him.

"Cheng, I will live on with this love and hate for you until the day I die, and I will always hate you..."

Ji Yexue murmured to herself, her feelings for Qiuyue Cheng becoming even more complicated.

Hate is an extension of love. The more you hate, the more sad and painful it is, the more you can feel how deep and clear your love is.

The beautiful and sweet memories of the past shattered in an instant, turning into unforgivable hatred.

From that day on, when Qiuyue Cheng betrayed her without her consent, Ji Yexue never truly forgave him.

……

……

After leaving the side hall, Akizuki Makoto went to the main hall and found Lady Himeya seeing off the guests.

"I'm sorry, Auntie, I probably won't be able to attend the dinner tonight. Something has suddenly come up."

"Yeah……"

Upon hearing this, Mrs. Ji Ye was somewhat surprised and puzzled, since Qiu Yuecheng had come alone and she hadn't seen Ji Yexue.

However, given the current situation, it was not appropriate to discuss it in detail. She simply nodded and indicated that she would be welcome to visit her home anytime she had time.

Goodbye, Auntie.

Akizuki Makoto bid farewell to Mrs. Himeya, bowing deeply with remorse and apology before turning and leaving.

On his way back, he did not ride in the car that Ji Yexue had arranged for him.

This isn't about drawing a clear line; it's just that I feel things are no longer appropriate.

He is no longer qualified to ride in Ji Ye's car.

He hailed a taxi and took it home by himself, feeling incredibly heavy-hearted.

Next, he would have to face Shiina Maki and explain his thoughts to her. He also didn't have much hope that Shiina Maki would accept him; after all, Shiina Maki had her own pride and self-respect.

In particular, he would take responsibility for Shiina Maki's life, not out of love, but out of his inner sense of responsibility and compassion.

Therefore, he did not hold out any hope that Shiina Maki would accept his pity.

"Maybe in the end, I won't be able to save any of them..."

As Akizuki Makoto gazed out the window at the scenery rushing by and the bustling traffic on the street, he muttered to himself, the possibility of this idea uncontrollably surfacing in his mind.

He couldn't think of a way to get Ji Yexue to agree, but he was somewhat confident about Shiina Maki. He believed that as long as he persisted and pursued her relentlessly, there was still a possibility, albeit a small one.

However, this approach doesn't work on Ji Yexue. She doesn't buy into it, so the possibility of the three of them being together is extremely slim.

But no matter how slim or impossible the chances are, he will not give up.

Although he wasn't confident he could do it, he was confident he could dedicate his life to Himeyasu and Shiina Maki to atone for his greedy desires.

……

After a long drive home, Akizuki Makoto pushed open the front door, but didn't hear the usual welcoming greeting.

"Speaking of which, Dongzi did go to her friend's house to play, just as I told her to..."

Akizuki murmured to himself, recalling that a few hours earlier, Dongzi had messaged him, telling him that she had gone to the Fengling sisters' house to play.

So, Akizuki Makoto went outside again, went to the neighbor's house, and rang the doorbell.

Since Fuyuko wasn't there, there was only one thing he needed to do: talk to Shiina Maki and share his thoughts.

He didn't want to procrastinate any longer; it was something he had to face sooner or later, so he should do it as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, he rang the doorbell and waited for several minutes, but there was no response and no sound from inside the house.

It seems that Shiina Maki is not at home right now.

The only place she'll probably go is the hospital where her mother works.

"...Let's not rush over there. Let's try to contact them first."

After thinking for a while, Akizuki Makoto decided to call Shiina Maki first to ask if she was free, so they could meet up, chat, and have dinner together.

He felt it wouldn't be appropriate to suddenly go looking for Shiina Maki without even saying hello.

Akizuki Makoto acted immediately, taking out his phone and dialing Shiina Maki's number.

"……Hey?"

After waiting for a short while, the phone suddenly stopped ringing and was replaced by Shiina Maki's voice coming from the receiver.

Akizuki Makoto perked up and immediately asked, "Shiina, are you free right now? Are you at the hospital?"

"Um...what's wrong?"

Shiina Maki's response was somewhat cold, and her tone sounded a little absent-minded.

Clearly, she was still thinking about what happened a week ago. They hadn't seen each other or exchanged any messages or even a single word since.

Makoto Akizuki didn't know if Maki Shiina had really given up on him or was disappointed in him, but none of that mattered. At least Maki Shiina was still willing to answer his calls, which meant that there was hope for them to meet and talk.

"Hey, Shiina, are you free right now? Would you like to have dinner together? I have something I'd like to talk to you about."

"No need."

Unexpectedly, Shiina Maki immediately refused his invitation, and then said, "Akizuki-kun and I... have nothing more to talk about. I will return the money to you as soon as possible, I'm sorry."

"Shiina, I really want to talk to you. Can you give me a chance? I beg you to give me a chance."

Akizuki Makoto pressed on relentlessly, feeling that Shiina Maki had some misunderstanding about him.

Perhaps Shiina Maki thought he wanted to persuade her to reconsider living with her mother, or perhaps there were other reasons.

"Akizuki-kun, I've already made myself clear, haven't I? Stop being gentle with me and stop caring about me. I don't need Akizuki-kun who can't choose me or respond to me."

really.

Shiina Maki has misunderstood something.

"Shiina, what if I said... I could reciprocate your feelings and choose you?"

"Eh?!"

Shiina Maki froze for a moment, and after a long while, she stammered in disbelief, "W-what? What do you mean? Akizuki-kun, what did you say?"

"I said……"

Akizuki Makoto took a deep breath and said, word by word, "I can respond to your feelings and choose you."

"real?!"

Shiina Maki immediately shouted excitedly, her loud voice making the phone's earpiece mode sound like it was on speakerphone.

Akizuki could sense the overwhelming joy and surprise on Shiina Maki's face on the other end of the phone, but he himself felt no joy at all.

because……

He didn't say that this came with conditions, and those conditions were extremely distorted and morbid.

If Maki Shiina knew, how would she feel? Would she still be as happy and excited as she is now?

"Shiina, let's talk in person. I'm coming to find you."

"I'm at the hospital, I'll wait for you at the entrance!"

"Okay, I'll be right there."

After agreeing to this, Akizuki, with a heavy heart, hung up the phone and set off for the hospital, feeling his steps grow heavy.

The thought of destroying Shiina Maki's anticipation and joy made him want to run away, and he felt pain because of it.

He couldn't help but reflect on whether what he was doing could truly bring salvation to everyone, or whether only he himself would be happy, thus sacrificing the happiness of the two women.

"I really... can't figure it out."

Akizuki wavered countless times, but in the end, he hypnotized himself countless times, constantly telling himself that only by doing this could he be right.

He will forever remember this torment that felt like torture, for it was his sin.

The pangs of conscience he is now experiencing are all deserved, and it is what he owes to Shiina Maki and Himeyasu.

In this short day, Akizuki Makoto is about to hurt two girls who love him, doing the cruelest and most ruthless things to them.

He can never wash away this sin, because he will continue to hurt both of them.

Just as Ji Yexue said, if you put yourself in her shoes, how would he feel if Ji Yexue told him that she wanted to share her with someone else?

It's definitely unacceptable; no matter what, it's unacceptable.

That is why Akizuki Makoto could understand Himeyasu's hysteria and breakdown, and felt pain because of it.

If it were him, he would probably react in the same way and wouldn't understand Ji Yexue either, no matter how high-sounding her reasons were or how helpless or burdened she felt.

(End of this chapter)