Inheriting a Taoist temple, the story begins with Wu Zetian offering incense.

Chapter 152 Li Bai and Li Qingzhao Join Forces to Scold Kuang Heng! [Seeking Monthly Tickets]

Upon hearing Chen Tang's words, Gan Yanshou's anger immediately subsided:

“Young Master, don’t do anything reckless. What was originally just detention could turn into an immediate execution because of your actions. There’s no one here to collect our corpses.”

The Commandant of Yumen was startled and quickly stated his position:

"General Gan, rest assured, even if the court demotes me to a commoner, I would never dare to do anything to harm a hero."

The border generals were well aware of the magnitude of the surprise attack on Zhizhi Chanyu, and it was already very difficult for them to detain the two men; no one would carry out the execution order.

Chen Tang had long since figured out Emperor Yuan's lack of a backbone, and said with a smile:

"Don't worry, the more intense my words are, the faster we'll get back to Chang'an; otherwise, we'll just waste time on the road."

Historically, the two traveled on the road, stopping and starting, sometimes detained, sometimes investigated, and wandered for more than a year before finally returning to Chang'an. By then, Zhizhi Chanyu's head had been completely cured and turned into a dried pig's head.

At that time, Kuang Heng disliked Chen Tang, believing that such a person who disrespected foreign lands was simply a disgrace to civilization, while Shi Xian, the Grand Secretary, disliked Gan Yanshou. The two joined forces to constantly create obstacles.

This time, Chen Tang didn't give them a chance and started cursing directly. He said to Gan Yanshou:
"Old Gan, didn't you want to rest? Stay at Yumen Pass for the next couple of days. I'm going back to my teacher's place to ask Brother Li Bai and Fairy Osmanthus to help me polish my memorial. I'll try to condemn all these treacherous officials and scoundrels in one fell swoop."

Gan Yanshou asked in confusion:

Were Li Bai and the Osmanthus Fairy good at cursing?

Chen Tang chuckled:
"Li Bai is alright; he didn't leave behind many poems that insult people. But the Osmanthus Fairy, she spent her whole life either drinking, gambling, or arguing with people. She's known as Li the Argumentative. If she helped polish his poems, I believe it would make Kuang Heng's blood pressure soar."

The two men led their entourage into the pass, where a large courtyard had been prepared for them to stay in. There would be food and drink provided, but they could not move around freely.

The Commandant of Yumen also sent a lot of meat, including ten sheep, which could be slaughtered and cooked at any time.

He didn't know how to express his respect, so he could only arrange as much food as possible. In addition, the governor of Dunhuang also sent a lot of fine wine to reward the hero.

This shows that during the reign of Emperor Yuan, conflicts had already arisen between the central government and the local authorities in the Han Dynasty.

The people whom the imperial court tried so hard to deal with were highly respected by the local people... As this contradiction deepened, the turmoil in the Western Han Dynasty began.

Chen Tang asked for several blank bamboo scrolls, waved to everyone, and then disappeared into thin air.

The Commandant of Yumen was startled:
Where has General Zigong gone?

Gan Yanshou said:
"I went to the cave of the Immortal Master Yiyuan, who is very considerate of the people of Han. There is air conditioning and watermelon there. It is much more comfortable than here."

He took out two packets of salt and handed them to the Commandant of Yumen:
"This is snow salt that Master Zi brought from Immortal Yiyuan. Here are two packets for you to try. You've worked hard guarding the border for the Han Dynasty."

The Commandant of Yumen could not believe his ears:

"Do you really know any deities?"

Gan Yanshou said with a smile:

"It's because of Master Zi that I know him; I'm just benefiting from his connections."

Inside the Hunyuan Palace, Chen Tang emerged from the doorway and happened to run into Li Qingzhao:

"Fairy Osmanthus, I have a request for you, please do not refuse."

Li Duidui was a little curious:
"General Zigong, please give your instructions if you have any needs. I just don't know how I, a mere woman, can be of any help to you."

Chen Tang waved his hand:
"Do what you do best—help me scold Kuang Heng!"

When it comes to swearing, Li Qingzhao immediately becomes as spirited as a keyboard warrior, but remembering that she is in Hunyuan Palace, she restrains herself somewhat:
"I'm not very good at the art of cursing, but I can discuss it with General Zigong and we can improve together!"

Li Duidui loves to criticize pedantic scholars.

Chen Tang said:

"Fairy Osmanthus, please wait a moment. I need to take a bath first. I've been traveling in the desert lately and I'm covered in sand. We can discuss how to curse after I've finished bathing."

After saying that, the guy jogged to the courtyard, went into Li Bai's room, took out the basketball jersey Zhou Yi had given him from the wardrobe, and excitedly went to the bathroom.

Li Qingzhao sat in the pavilion, enjoying the mountain breeze and eating crispy snacks, and began to devise a way to criticize pedantic scholars.

As she was thinking, Li Bai's famous poem "Mocking the Confucian Scholars of Lu" suddenly flashed into her mind. Kuang Heng was from Shandong, which is part of the Lu region, so it matched the poem perfectly.

As for the content of the poem, such as the opening line "The old man of Lu talks about the Five Classics, his white hair dies from reading the chapters," it is a true reflection of Kuang Heng's governance of the country.

The lines “When asked about economic policies, I was completely bewildered, as if lost in a fog” also coincide with Kuang Heng’s view of “civilized conduct for the country” when he was prime minister.

Hmm, you ask about economic policy, I'll talk about idealism, the old tricks of pedantic Confucian scholars governing the country. The more Li Qingzhao thought about it, the more she felt that this poem was practically tailor-made for Kuang Heng... In that case, let General Zigong copy it and give Kuang Heng a good scolding.

Just as Li Qingzhao was figuring out how to incorporate the entire poem into her essay, she saw Li Bai, the copyright holder of "Mocking the Confucian Scholars of Lu," walking out of the Wenxuan King's Palace with his schoolbag on his back.

She quickly greeted them:

"Mr. Qinglian, General Zigong and I have created a group chat. Would you like to join?"

"What group? Has Sister Meiniang joined it?"

Li Qingzhao pointed to the small courtyard and said:

"My sister is studying, let's not disturb her... This time it's about criticizing pedantic scholars, is Mr. Qinglian interested?"

Upon hearing this, Li Bai immediately joined the insult group, afraid of missing out on a spot.

After Chen Tang finished bathing, the three of them huddled together and, following the format of Han dynasty prose, discussed the entire text from beginning to end, even incorporating famous lines of criticism from Du Fu, Li Bai's number one fan:

"Your bodies and names will perish, but the rivers and mountains will flow on forever!"

As for the title, it was the same one Zhuge Liang used when he scolded Wang Lang: "White-haired scoundrel, gray-bearded old thief." This title might not seem like much to ordinary people, but for Kuang Heng, who liked to act superior because of his age, it was definitely a critical blow.

When Zhou Yi returned from the foot of the mountain after buying groceries, the trio had already prepared the memorial.

Chen Tang wrote the script, with Li Bai and Li Qingzhao analyzing it word by word, and also incorporating famous lines like Mi Heng cursing Cao Cao. In short, it was all about making it as groundbreaking as possible.

After the memorial was written, Li Bai asked with some concern:
"General Zigong, will submitting this document bring you death upon yourself?"

Chen Tang waved his hand:

"No, once the laser pointer that Lao Gan and I sent to Chang'an through the post station appears on His Majesty's desk, we will definitely be summoned back to Chang'an. Immortals are much more important than Kuang Heng. His Majesty definitely wants to seek immortality."

Li Qingzhao asked:
"Then why did you write this memorial? Won't it backfire and offend Kuang Heng?"

Chen Tang chuckled:
"We must offend him. After reading the memorial, he will be furious and rack his brains to prove how noble and resourceful he is. He might even get his acquaintances, the great scholars, to join him. Once I return to Chang'an, he will start impeaching me. At that time, I will expose his land theft... A perfect person praised by all the officials, actually doing such a thing behind the scenes. Tsk tsk, I can't even imagine how explosive that scene will be!"

This guy went through all that trouble just to ruin Kuang Heng's reputation.

Of course, Kuang Heng himself had too many stains, so there was no need for much maneuvering. Just telling the truth about what he had done was enough to make this corrupt scholar lose all face.

During lunch, Zhou Yi admired the memorials written by a great general of the Han Dynasty and two literary giants of the Tang and Song Dynasties, and felt that they were giving Kuang Heng too much credit... He thought that he was using a bunch of magic tools to exorcise evil spirits, which was like using an anti-aircraft gun to kill a mosquito, but he did not expect that Kuang Heng could also enjoy such treatment.

Today's lunch was Zhajiangmian (noodles with soybean paste). Diced pork belly was stir-fried with soybean paste and served with side dishes like shredded cucumber, along with hand-pulled noodles. Everyone ate until they were stuffed.

Li Bai described the changes in the Kaiyuan era and revealed that Li Longji would soon change the era name to Kaiyuan... almost half a year earlier than in history.

"After the coup, the power of the retired emperor and Princess Taiping was completely eradicated, and His Majesty completely took control of the court. The next step is to purge the military and local areas, which will probably continue until the end of the year."

Wu Meiniang asked:
"How is Taiping?"

“I spend my days reciting the Taishang Ganying Pian to expiate my sins and pray for blessings. Occasionally I look at the books my sister gave me and ask about the situation here. There are some new faces among the soldiers in Daozheng Ward. They seem to be from the Wanqi. His Majesty probably wants to keep an eye on them. This was expected, so we didn’t pay too much attention to it.”

After the meal, Zhou Yi talked about the plans for tomorrow:
"We're going to the Earth God Temple in Sanlizhuang tomorrow to consecrate the Fude Zhengshen (God of Fortune). You should all go and share in his good fortune."

Li Qingzhao recounted meeting Zhang Shuye at the Buddhist assembly:

"Is he a proponent of war? Who else advocates resisting the Jin? I'll keep an eye out for them."

Zhou Yi thought for a moment and said:
"Zong Ze should be serving as an official in a local area now. He's a staunch advocate of war. When you get to know Zhao Xu, be sure to mentor him. Also, there's Li Gang, but he won't pass the imperial examination for another ten years. As for Yue Fei, he won't be born for another four years..."

One thing, planned more than 20 years in advance, seems to have plenty of time, but we cannot be careless. After all, there is the Mongol after the Jin Dynasty, and before these obstacles, we must destroy the Western Xia and Liao Dynasty to clear the way before we can wholeheartedly resist the Jin.

In the afternoon, everyone had free time. Wu Meiniang led Li Qingzhao to go shopping in town, Li Bai sat in front of the computer practicing typing, and Chen Tang, shirtless, helped Zhou Yi clean out the bricks of the first main hall.

After finishing his work, Zhou Yi sat on the threshold of the Sanqing Hall, holding his phone and checking messages in various groups to see if there were any new business opportunities.

While I was looking at it, a rainstorm warning suddenly popped up on my phone screen:

"Due to the impact of the typhoon, the southwestern region of our province may experience record-breaking heavy rainfall in the coming week. The public is advised to prepare for flood prevention, waterlogging prevention, and the prevention of natural disasters such as landslides..."

I didn't take the Book of Changes seriously at first; I just skimmed through it and started browsing other news.

But as he was scrolling, he suddenly remembered Grandma Ji's warning not long ago, saying that natural disasters might occur in the Yunwu Mountain area in the next month, and that he should be careful.

Could the natural disaster she was referring to be this historic torrential rain?

(End of this chapter)