Inheriting a Taoist temple, the story begins with Wu Zetian offering incense.

Chapter 151 Su Dongpo's Calligraphy! [Seeking Monthly Tickets]

On the northern grasslands of Dingxiang, the soldiers lined up to serve themselves a large pot of stew. After serving themselves, they received two steamed buns and sat down to eat.

"Gangzi mo" is a term for four steamed buns joined together. Two gangzi mo are equivalent to eight steamed buns, which is enough to fill most people up.

Huo Qubing, mounted on his horse, repeatedly addressed his men with a small megaphone used for selling vegetables:
"Don't force yourself if you can't eat. We're not leaving today, and we can eat the leftovers tonight. Don't overeat and make yourself sick."

After bringing the large pot of food over, he kept reminding them, afraid that his inexperienced subordinates would show off and end up stuffing themselves to death.

One of the team leaders asked:
"May I ask, Captain Piao Yao, is this dish truly made by the gods?"

Huo Qubing said in an annoyed tone:
"Nonsense, I wouldn't know how to do it either. My master started working on this early this morning, and I could only assist him... To make sure you all had enough to eat, I chopped almost half a cart of cabbages. It was more tiring than killing the Huns. Next time you see the Huns, you'd better kill them all. You owe me this!"

Everyone burst into laughter. Today they had eaten stew from a large pot and learned about foods such as cabbage, vermicelli, tofu, and dried bean curd. It was truly an eye-opening experience.

After everyone had started eating, Huo Qubing dismounted, took the large pot of stew handed to him by Zhao Ponu, grabbed a steamed bun, and took a bite.
"White flour buns are still the best! Let's all work hard so that in our lifetime, all the people of the Han Dynasty can eat white flour buns!"

Zhang Qian asked:

When do we set off?

Huo Qubing pointed to the wild boar spearhead he had brought and said:
"In the next two days, we'll attach long poles to the spears, conduct some training, and then head north to find the Xiongnu... If we can get saddles from Chang'an, the main force and auxiliary troops will train together."

The Xiongnu prince and others captured last time have been escorted to Wei Qing's camp. They should be held near Dingxiang until the army returns to the capital, at which point they will be escorted to Chang'an to be presented as prisoners.

Inside Hunyuan Palace, Zhou Yi took out his phone and bought ten bottles of the same type of horse spear as Huo Qubing online. After buying them, he searched for strong beer and found that the beer with the highest alcohol content actually exceeded 60 degrees, which was even more domineering than ordinary baijiu.

How about we buy two bottles and let the number one arrogant lady of the Song Dynasty experience the legendary blackout after just one sip?
Forget it, she's only sixteen. What if she gets seriously ill from drinking?
Zhou Yi ultimately chose the stout beer that Li Qingzhao had seen in an advertisement. It did look like it had very fine foam, but whether the taste was as advertised was another matter.

Wu Meiniang asked:
"Does the immortal not drink alcohol?"

Zhou Yi shook his head:

"Back in school, I would occasionally go to the night market with my roommates for a beer, but I haven't touched it much since graduation."

After buying the beer, Zhou Yi also bought a few bottles of white wine that were touted as "sweet wines," with low alcohol content and a strong sweetness, suitable for ladies to enjoy in moderation.

After buying the wine, Zhou Yi called Hu Lijun and asked him to send some internal deworming medicine to the Taoist temple.

Hu Lijun was off work today, and he immediately perked up when he heard that:
"Master Zhou, how much do you need? I'll drive it over right now."

Zhou Yi thought for a moment and said:
"The more the better, enough to feed at least 20,000 to 30,000 people. Of course, more is fine too."

Huo Qubing's troops have been active on the grasslands, so deworming medicine is essential. In addition, the water purification tablets I ordered online have arrived, and I will try my best to ensure that Huo Qubing's troops drink clean water from now on.

In addition, Li Bai's water purification talisman also needs to be made. It's difficult to rely solely on science, so metaphysics should also be put into play.

In the evening, Hu Lijun drove a small van, panting as he arrived at the Taoist temple. The van was loaded with a lot of medicine, including the deworming medicine that Zhou Yi needed, as well as some near-expiration medicines and medical supplies.

For example, Hu Lijun said that the prices of alcohol, gauze, iodine, hydrogen peroxide, and other items for treating external injuries are very cheap. If Zhou Yi is interested, he can get some more.

Without saying a word, Zhou Yi transferred 200,000 yuan to him, telling him to make more money.

After unloading the truck, Zhou Yi asked:

"How have you been lately?"

Hu Lijun patted the peace charm hanging around his neck and said:

“Everything is going very smoothly. Everything is going well. The two kids are also more studious now. Ever since they visited the martyrs' cemetery last time, they have become noticeably braver and are not as easily frightened as they used to be.”

With the support of martyrs, it's hard not to be bold... Zhou Yi then inquired about the mental hospital:

How is the hospital doing lately?

Mentioning this, Hu Lijun became even more enthusiastic:
"Several patients have recently recovered... Of course, strictly speaking, it's not a complete recovery, but rather that they haven't had a relapse. The hospital's reputation has also grown, and sometimes you have to wait in line to get admitted. In the past, hospitals always felt very oppressive, but now I don't feel that way anymore. Both doctors and patients are sunny and cheerful, always smiling."

It seems that the blessed land is even more powerful than imagined. The more Zhou Yi thought about it, the more he felt that bestowing the title of blessed land was a good thing.

Moreover, geographically speaking, not only mental hospitals will benefit, but also funeral homes. In the future, bodies transported to funeral homes, regardless of whether they have resentment or regret, will be resolved under the influence of good fortune, truly returning to dust and ashes, and will not linger in the mortal world to harm others or themselves.

After chatting for a while longer, Hu Lijun got up to say goodbye.

"Master Zhou, if someone wants to request a peace talisman or a deity statue, can I just bring them over here?"

Zhou Yi nodded:

"Sure, you're welcome anytime."

After Hu Lijun left, Zhou Yi was too lazy to cook, so he rode his motorcycle down the mountain to town with Wu Meiniang on the back. They bought two meat buns, took them to the appliance store next door, and each ordered a pot of potato noodles.

Wu Zetian loved this refreshing and smooth food, and on the way back she kept talking about the texture of the potato noodles.

Zhou Yi said with a smile, "Since you like it so much, I'll just buy some wholesale online and bring them back for Li Mingda to try. That way, she'll be more attentive to growing potatoes."

Wu Meiniang smiled gently, feeling that the immortal hadn't quite figured it out yet.

Li Mingda's enthusiasm for growing potatoes isn't for eating, but because those potatoes were given to him by you, Immortal Master... However, the potato flour can still fool Little Sizi when he takes it back:
"The immortal personally selected the potato noodles from the store, and repeatedly emphasized that they were only for you to eat. Tell me, aren't they delicious!"

The next day was the day Li Qingzhao was to visit Hunyuan Palace.

Early in the morning, the girl arrived at the Wenxuan King's Hall on time. After bowing to Confucius, she eagerly went to the courtyard and handed a piece of paper to Zhou Yi:
"The above are the foot lengths of my father, my stepmother, and my younger brother. I would be extremely grateful if you could help me purchase suitable shoes!"

She bowed and then presented Zhou Yi with a beautifully framed scroll of calligraphy and painting:
"This is a copy of 'Nian Nu Jiao: Reminiscences of Chibi' handwritten by my master. When he was demoted from the capital, he gave it to my father. My father was grateful for the care he received from the immortal and had no way to repay him, so he asked me to present this calligraphy to the immortal. I hope the immortal will not find it offensive."

Wu Zetian said with a smile:

"It's just a few pairs of shoes, and your father is actually willing to part with them?"

“He has a whole bunch of them in his study. Recently, the court has forbidden discussing the Master, and his poems and articles are not allowed to be circulated. It would be safer to send them to the Immortal Master.”

Zhou Yi put on disposable gloves, unfolded the scroll, and looked at Su Shi's calligraphy. It was indeed very grand and complemented the poem perfectly.

After reading it, he asked about the incident where Liang Shicheng was struck by lightning.

Li Qingzhao briefly recounted the story, which infuriated Wu Meiniang.

"How dare a eunuch humiliate the fairy of my Hunyuan Palace like this? He should be skinned alive, chopped into mincemeat, and fed to the dogs... Your father sent this calligraphy because he was worried that the immortal master would blame Su Dongpo, right?"

Li Qingzhao then realized that this was indeed the case.

The Book of Changes says:

"Since he's already been struck by lightning and died, then so be it. But if there's a next time, he can be struck a few more times. I can still afford this loss."

Li Qingzhao was initially worried that Zhou Yi would be angry at her for summoning divine lightning to strike people so casually, but to her surprise, he felt that the lightning strikes were too few, and she immediately beamed with joy:

"I knew the immortal was the best! So, if I encounter a treacherous minister next time, can I still chop him down?"

Zhou Yi nodded:

"If there's a reason, then chop it; if there's no reason, then find one. In short, you can handle it as you see fit."

With so many treacherous officials in the Song Dynasty, you could kill ten of them by throwing a brick into the air on the streets of Bianjing (Kaifeng). Li Qingzhao could have killed a single one even if she had just thrown a brick at them.

After breakfast, Zhou Yi went to each of the halls, offered the last stick of incense to the peace tablets, then put them away, wrapped them one by one in yellow silk cloth, wrote their names on them, and drove them to the project site.

Jia Siwa's remains have been cremated again and buried in the village's designated cemetery yesterday, finally finding peace in the afterlife.

After Zhao Wei's excavator was switched to lead the earthwork project, the project proceeded smoothly without any problems and progressed quickly. For this, Lao Huang even gave Zhao Wei a red envelope containing 1,500 yuan.

This can be seen as a way of making up for the money spent on buying the Ping An license plate.

In addition, Zhou Yi was given an extra 3,000 yuan... 2,000 yuan was the service fee, and 3,000 yuan was the labor fee.

Zhou Yi was very pleased and said to Lao Huang:

"If anything strange happens at the construction site in the future, you can call me to handle it."

Such an opportunity to both earn money and accumulate merit is rare and should be seized firmly.

Meanwhile, in the world of Emperor Yuan of the Western Han Dynasty, Chen Tang and Gan Yanshou marched eastward day and night, finally arriving at the most famous pass in the northwest region—Yumen Pass.

The two men, covered in dust and dirt, stood at the entrance of Yumen Pass, took a selfie with their phones, and Gan Yanshou even made a peace sign.

Having narrowly escaped death while traversing the desert, they now felt reborn upon entering the true territory of the Han Dynasty. So, disregarding their image, the two immediately took photos to commemorate the occasion.

Just as they were busy working, the Commandant of Yumen rode up on horseback, bringing with him the latest imperial edict:
"Gan Yanshou, Cavalry Commandant of the Protectorate of the Western Regions, and Chen Tang, Deputy Commandant, have launched an attack on a friendly nation. The Prime Minister has ordered that you two be temporarily detained at Yumen Pass until the court has thoroughly investigated the matter and released you back to Chang'an."

Chen Tang: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
Gan Yanshou:? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
I worked so hard to wipe out the Northern Xiongnu, and not only did you not claim credit, but you even imprisoned us. Kuang Heng, do you have no shame at all?

Gan Yanshou was so angry that he cursed incessantly on the spot. Yumen Commandant was also speechless. He had been looking forward to this day and night, and finally the heroes of the Han Dynasty had arrived. Before he could even hold a welcoming banquet for the two of them, the Prime Minister actually ordered them to be detained. Anyone would be furious in this situation!
Chen Tang was already mentally prepared, and calmly pulled Gan Yanshou aside, saying:
"Old Gan, calm down. Even if you curse until you vomit blood, Kuang Heng won't hear you... You Imperial Guards are no match for this kind of thing. Let me handle it. I'm a scholar, and my specialty is cursing!"

After saying that, he waved to the Commandant of Yumen:

"Prepare writing materials and bamboo slips. I'm going to expose Kuang Heng's true colors and show the world what he's really like!"

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My health is getting worse and worse. I'm sensitive to cold because of diabetic neuropathy, and I've also developed diabetic spots on my legs. I probably won't be able to update more frequently for the next few months. I can only maintain an update of 6,000 words for now. I'm really sorry, brothers. Please don't give me any rewards. You can vote with your monthly tickets as you wish. I'll talk about adding more updates once my health has improved.

(End of this chapter)