Super Hero Monk: Hormones Journey to the West

Chapter 325 The February 8th Women's Day, the Yuanyang Longevity Festival

"What did you say? Tang Sanzang actually led all his men to break through the encirclement unscathed? How is that possible?!"

"Four hundred thousand anti-demons, without our restraint, couldn't even contain that rabble? Are they all useless?!"

Inside the Demon-Slaying Army's command tent, a pair of incompetent father and son stared blankly, furious and exasperated.

……

Tang Xuanci crossed the Tongtian Pass four times and returned victorious.

The news quickly shook the three realms, and from then on, in addition to the titles of Poet Immortal, Singer Saint, and Beauty Queen, he was also honored as God of War.

His incredibly cool footage on the battlefield has been edited into videos by countless cultivators, demons, and bloggers, going viral on Douyin (TikTok). Any frame of his video can be used as a screensaver or wallpaper.

Among them, the most frequently used popular background music is called by netizens from all realms:

"The March of the Beauty Queen"

As soon as you hear this catchy rhythm playing on someone's phone, you know without even looking that they've definitely seen a mashup video of the Holy Monk.

At the same time, Tang Xuanci's reputation among the immortals of the Qingliu School soared once again.

The Ministry of War reported the victory to the Heavenly Court, where all the immortals in the Lingxiao Palace praised it. The Great Heavenly Venerable and the Four Emperors had no choice but to smile and agree, bestowing upon Tang Xuanci the title of:
Sandalwood Merit King.

(Rank 4. Li Jing was granted the title of Heavenly King when he became an immortal, but he is now the Grand Marshal of Demon Subduing, rank 3.)
赐：
The Minghong Treasure Blade, the Auspicious Beast Head-Swallowing Chain Armor, the Phoenix Feather Purple Crown, the Heavenly Net Startling Cloud Boots, and the Red Brocade Myriad Elephant Robe.

He was ordered to reorganize the independent army and garrison it in the territory of Wuji Kingdom. After a few months of rest, he was to launch a second western expedition to quell the rebellion against the demons in one fell swoop!
In addition, the Heavenly Court basically agreed to the pardons of the demons and monsters by Tang Xuanci, simply because it urgently needed to maintain stability.

The precious armor sets that were once confiscated from Sun Wukong and Zhu Wuneng were moved out of the warehouse and returned to them as a reward for their repentance, reformation, and new life.

To demonstrate... the boundless grace of Heaven.

Although the monkey grumbled and cursed, its body language betrayed its words. In a second, it changed into its old skin and even asked Chen Xiaoke to film it reminiscing about its glorious past.

Zhu Wuneng didn't even touch the Tianpeng suit that had accompanied him through countless battles. Instead, he looked at the Jiawu God who had come to convey the will of Heaven and suddenly brought up the matter of the sudden and complete defeat of the Demon Subduing and Demon Slaying armies.

Even a fool could see there was something fishy going on. The conclusions drawn by the Ministry of War's investigation couldn't possibly be normal, could they?

Tang Xuanci had actually guessed what his second disciple, who was obsessed with his mother, wanted most when he volunteered to lead troops with him to quell the rebellion.

His expression immediately changed, and he casually tossed aside the celestial talisman symbolizing his status as a Heavenly King, echoing:
“Wuneng is right. We went deep into enemy territory and they suddenly withdrew. Thousands of comrades were killed on the spot, and tens of thousands of troops were almost surrounded and killed. This matter must be investigated thoroughly!”
"The truth is actually very simple."

"I can crush this rabble of demons with just one regiment, so why can't we defeat 300,000 heavenly soldiers and generals?"

"Because there are bad people in the allied forces who deliberately colluded with the anti-demon to prevent the heavenly army from winning, so they want to kill us."

"Now that the traitor has come forward, Tianyou, that bastard, is definitely one of them, and the Grand Marshal of Subduing Demons is also highly suspicious."

"Let me tell you, if this traitor isn't found, neither my apprentice nor I will be going to our deaths again."

"As for the other soldiers, you can go out and ask around in each camp."

Ah this?

The Jiawu Divine Lord's expression changed, and he truly realized that Tang Sanzang and his disciples had become arrogant and self-important.

After all, the independent army that returned from the sea was built up by their own hands from three thousand to fifty thousand. Even if their control was not as good as that of the elite troops, it was probably not much worse.

After probing and trying to gauge the true intentions of Tang Xuanci and Zhu Wuneng, the Jiawu Divine Lord had no choice but to agree to a thorough investigation.

After he left the Independent Army's garrison, Tang Xuanci and his disciples packed up and returned to Mo Shengdu.

When the women saw that Tang Xuanci had returned unharmed, their hearts finally settled down. That afternoon, they had a big argument over trivial matters at the celebration party and parted on bad terms.

That evening, a crescent moon hung in the sky, and it was Qing'er's turn to be on duty as a concubine.

In fact, long after Tang Xuanci rescued Huang Yao from Lu Dingkui, Green Snake had already come up with a clever plan to strengthen her bond with her sister through marriage.

However, at that time, she and the White Snake had both gone out to avoid trouble, so they could not carry it out.

Now that Tang Xuanci is back, and he won't be disturbed by other beakers tonight, it's the perfect opportunity.

So, she decisively ran to Tang Xuanci's side and told him:

My sister had already secretly fallen for my husband and was determined to marry him. She had even promised him that if he could rescue Yao Yao, she would repay him with her body. However, my sister was too shy to speak of it, so she asked her to come and propose marriage.

Tang Xuanci knew his charm was irresistible and had no doubts, thinking it was just too much like a beaver.

Then, thinking about Bai Suzhen's slender waist and ample bosom, I really couldn't find a reason to refuse.

So, seeing that Qing'er was sincerely pleading with him for her sister's happiness, he reluctantly agreed.

Qing'er was overjoyed. She immediately took his arm and invited him into her carefully decorated new room, where she prepared fine wine and snacks for him to wait a while. Then she ran off to find her sister as fast as she could.

When she reached the White Snake's side, she used the same trick again, pretending to say:
My husband has long harbored feelings for my sister. During this western expedition against the demons, he faced danger several times, and his thoughts were always with my sister. Last time, my sister said that if he could rescue Yao Yao, she would repay him with her body. My husband was indeed moved, but he did not want to take advantage of her, so he held back and did not speak.

She had inadvertently brought up the matter during a conversation, so her husband readily admitted it and now specifically asked her to propose marriage.

Upon hearing this, the White Snake felt a mixture of astonishment, shame, and an unconscious joy.

Although still somewhat suspicious of her sister, she questioned, "You're not making this up, are you?"

But hearing Green Snake's vehement denial, she still didn't investigate further. Like burying her head in the sand, she convinced herself with the promise of "repaying him with her body" and agreed.

Qing'er was overjoyed and immediately pulled her blushing sister to bathe and change clothes. She carefully dressed her up and even took out a brand new set of clothes from her own wardrobe, telling her that her husband liked it.

Finally, she brought the white snake with its head covered by a green gauze veil into the bridal chamber.

A perfect couple, they finally became husband and wife.

……

For the next few days, Tang Xuanci continued his shameless life in the desert capital.

However, besides putting pressure on the Ministry of War, what he cared about most was the massive amount of life energy sealed in the bottomless pit of Lady Earth Surge.

After all, according to the white rat spirit, her supernatural powers could only be preserved for a short period of time.

If we don't quickly come up with a way to use it, or another way to preserve it for a long time, then it will be useless.

However, Tang Xuanci tortured Sai Taisui, consulted Zhenyuan Daxian, and also asked Si Xuange and Ying Wo, but he still had no idea how to preserve and use it.

The beaker couldn't reseal it back into the magic circle.

Seeing that he was about to waste such a precious resource, Tang Xuanci had no choice but to resort to a less desirable option.

Based on the experience gained in the Zimu River Ancient Cave, female creatures can directly absorb the energy of immortality. Even if the effect is not as strong as that of a well-refined golden elixir, as long as the quantity is large, it will still be enough to satisfy their hunger.

Moreover, the woman named Pilanpo who ate... uh, refined this thing back then said that in addition to increasing the primordial spirit, it also has the miraculous effect of strengthening divine consciousness, and its effect in this respect even surpasses that of the peaches of immortality.

So, Tang Xuanci decided to hold a "Yuanyang Longevity Ceremony".

It directly releases a massive amount of life energy, allowing the women in the household, the female leaders of the community, and the female soldiers and generals in the army to eat their fill.

If any escape, let all the female demons who participated in the construction of the Desert Holy Capital share in the spoils.

This is also a good opportunity to announce to the world that the Buddhist sects who covet the longevity fruit should give up their hopes, and to make Buddha and Guanyin furious.

So he first arranged for all the women in his household, both married and unmarried, to come to the city.

Then, he secretly summoned females from the gang and the military.

Finally, the news was released at the perfect moment from all the major demon mountains, causing a stir throughout the entire state of Azhou.

When the auspicious time arrived, the longevity energy in the bottomless pit poured out in a VIP box of Pengchao Gymnasium.

Having failed to heal his wounds last time, the Scorpion Demon no longer cared that he was sitting in the bald thief's harem. He immediately began to frantically absorb the thick, misty life energy from the bottom up, starting to repair his primordial spirit.

The mistress of the house had no time to question her husband about why there were so many beakers she had never seen before in the suite, in addition to the other concubines... and began to refine the life energy.

Chen Xiaoke didn't know how to inhale at first, but suddenly felt a familiar sensation surging in her meridians. The thick light mist around her began to gather frantically towards her "Zhongji acupoint," and then circulated along the Ren and Du meridians, resonating with her primordial spirit.

Its absorption speed was even faster than Si Xuange's; and it absorbed a greater amount than her.

It turns out that although Whale is hermaphroditic, it benefited greatly from Chen Xiaoke, who had also cultivated the "Heaven-Devouring Creation Technique".

The other women in the room were also concentrating on absorbing energy, but the surging life energy was far beyond what they could absorb.

Before long, a thick fog of light overflowed and enveloped the entire Pengchao Gymnasium.

The female comrades in the guild and the female soldiers and generals in the Independent Army ate until they were full, their vitality was fully restored, and even their cultivation levels made breakthroughs to varying degrees.

Even with the entire army of several divisions from the Women's Kingdom, they still couldn't absorb that massive amount of life energy.

Gradually, a thick fog of light began to spread from the city center, enveloping all the towering buildings and crisscrossing roads of the Desert City.

That day, all the women in the city were in high spirits.

Even the cleaning ladies who sweep toilets seem to have gained a lot of lifespan, as if they have been reborn and are radiant with glory.

It was the eighth day of the second month of the year Guimao.

Later, this day in spring was called "Returning to Spring Festival" every year, and the female demons would commemorate their youth by indulging in unrestrained shopping and dating.

Also known as: February 8th Women's Day.

(End of this chapter)