Jinting Han people

After handling the funeral arrangements for my teacher Chen Shou, it was around mid-October.

The funeral was followed immediately by a joyous occasion: Fu Chang and Liu Jiao's wedding was scheduled for the Dingchou day of the tenth month. Although it sounded a bit unlucky, Chen Shou was merely Liu Xian's personal teacher and had little connection to the Anle Duke's mansion. Therefore, apart from Liu Xian's absence, the wedding proceeded as planned and was not significantly affected.

Since Liu Xian was absent, the representative of the bride's parents was naturally Duke Anle, Liu Xun. Although he was not highly regarded at home, he was, after all, a duke, and such matters naturally required his presence. It must be said that when he dressed up properly, appearing before everyone in his elegant attire and adorned with a tall hat and wide belt, he exuded the air of a renowned scholar. An uninformed person might mistake him for a scholar from the Imperial Academy.

At the banquet, Liu Xun and Fu Zhi drank and chatted amiably, engaging in lively discussions and holding their own. The guests remarked that they had initially thought the Anle Duke's mansion lacked the social standing to be a suitable match for the Lingzhou Duke's mansion, but it seemed the two families were actually well-matched!
However, some people privately speculated that the Duke of Lingzhou was hedging his bets. His eldest son married Princess Hongnong, while his second son formed a marriage alliance with the Duke of Anle's family. Wasn't this because he valued General Dangkou's favor with the Crown Prince? In the upcoming major events, whether the Empress or the Crown Prince wins, he can play both sides and protect his family.

Regardless, the wedding went smoothly. That evening, the family returned from the Duke of Lingzhou's mansion, and many were too happy to sleep, as they rarely had the opportunity to attend such a grand event. So the house was brightly lit and lively for a while, and A'Luo arranged a late-night snack. The whole family ate together, and during the meal, Fourth Uncle Liu Zan held Liu Xian's hand and thanked him repeatedly before the meal ended.

Just as everyone was preparing to return to their rooms to rest, Liu Xian stopped Liu Xun and asked him:
"Sir, do you have a moment? I have something I'd like to discuss with you."

The whole family was quite surprised. It was common knowledge that the relationship between Liu Xun and his son Liu Xian had been strained since Zhang Ximiao's death. As time went on, the two gradually developed a tacit understanding: to avoid being in the same place and to stagger their meetings. Even if they had to be together for important matters, they would treat each other as if they were invisible and would not speak to each other.

Therefore, Liu Xian had been back in Luoyang for half a year, and the two had not even had a proper meal together, let alone any conversation.

It's really strange that Liu Xian would take the initiative to speak to Liu Xun today.

Liu Xun, of course, wouldn't refuse this conversation. Though it was laughable, he was still a man of self-respect. It was precisely because that tragedy had stripped him of his voice within the family that he consciously kept to himself, avoiding any opportunity to harm him. Now that his son wanted to speak with him, he also wanted to display his paternal authority, saying to Liu Xian:
"Okay, let's talk in my bedroom then."

“Alright,” Liu Xian replied.

Liu Xian couldn't remember the last time he entered his father's bedroom. It was probably after his mother's death that he hadn't been there since, only having vague childhood memories. Because he would probably never forget the day his mother lay in a pool of blood.

Entering again, Liu Xian felt no sorrow. Holding a lamp, he looked around and found the bedroom cleaner than he had imagined; at least clothes weren't scattered everywhere, and there was no smell of alcohol.

The room layout is still the same as before: screen, wooden bed, wardrobe, table, brazier, clothes rack, all placed in the same positions as in my childhood memories. Only the furniture looks a bit old, and the room smells rather dull, filled with the scent of carbon ash.

Before Liu Xun could speak, Liu Xian opened the window himself, letting in the chilly autumn wind that instantly made the two men in the room feel cold and alert. Liu Xian gently lowered the lamp, then sat down on the wooden couch, looking directly at his father. Liu Xun also pretended to sit casually on the couch, glancing at his son with indifferent eyes. But both of them were actually somewhat stiff, as if someone else were sitting beside them.

Neither of them spoke for a moment.

Liu Xian sized up Liu Xun. In two months, the second Duke of Anle would turn sixty. Liu Xun's temples and beard were already white, and his hair was half gray and half white. His once gloomy face now appeared more amiable and kind because of the many wrinkles and age spots. However, his lips were still tightly pursed, as if he would say something harsh as soon as he opened his mouth.

So he's gotten old, Liu Xian thought with a sigh. Is this still the same father who used to get angry at him and the servants so easily? He wondered if his mother would be relieved or saddened to see him like this.

Liu Xian finally spoke, pretending to look around, and said:

"Some of the furniture is a bit old; you can replace it with some new ones."

He made small talk, trying to create a relatively normal father-son conversation. Liu Xun clearly understood, and while playing along with his son's tone, he also wanted to preserve his own dignity, so he replied:

"Everything is still usable. If anything is missing, I will buy it myself."

"At your age, you shouldn't stay at home all the time. Go out and get some exercise, or you'll get sick from being cooped up."

"I'm just afraid of embarrassing you if I go out like this."

The cautiousness with which these words touched Liu Xian's heart, simultaneously filling him with a pang of resentment. It was as if he, in the past, had truly cared about his son's feelings. But he ultimately said nothing more, only turning his head away and saying:

"Just take care of yourself and don't cause trouble for others."

The father and son chatted idly for a while, building up the atmosphere, before Liu Xian finally got to the point and said to him:

“When I was suppressing the rebellion in Qinzhou, I led my troops to Qiuchi. There I met some people who claimed to be former subordinates of Zhuge Zhan. They told me that when the country fell, the general left behind a remnant army. They left when the country fell, and although they were constantly pursued by the Jin army, they eventually escaped and disappeared without a trace. Are you aware of this?”

As soon as he uttered those words, Liu Xian secretly glanced at Liu Xun's expression. He saw Liu Xun's originally sallow face gradually flush red. His eyes, which had already become somewhat timid, now revealed the bloodlust of Liu Xian's childhood memories. Liu Xun's breathing also became unsteady. When he spoke, he didn't immediately answer whether he knew or not, but instead asked in return:
"What does this have to do with you?"

This is essentially a tacit answer that he knows about it.

Liu Xian replied, "I am the heir of the Duke of Anle, a descendant of Liu Bei, so of course I am related to him. I have already secretly recruited those people and sent them to a place unknown to others, to wait for my news. I promised them that I would give them an explanation."

This answer clearly stung Liu Xun; his flushed face deepened, taking on an oily, purplish hue. He said:
"Mind your own business! Is this something you should be concerned with?!"

Seeing his reaction, Liu Xian knew he was unwilling to answer. But now that his teacher Chen Shou and his teacher Li Mi had both passed away, his father was probably the only person who knew the answer. How could he possibly look for the answer elsewhere?
Moreover, his father's reply was rather heartless, and Liu Xian felt a surge of anger. He said:

"What are you saying? How much has our family wronged them? Let's not even talk about how many people were harmed when my grandfather surrendered in Chengdu. Now there are still people from our homeland who are holding on. Shouldn't we repay that debt of gratitude? When I was a child, I didn't understand. When I saw someone die in front of me, I didn't know whether to cry or laugh. Don't you understand either? Can't you recognize who that is?"

These words were like knives, slashing straight at Liu Xun's heart. He stood up angrily and said:
"I thought you were all grown up and knew a thing or two about the world. How come you still seem so ignorant!" "How many years has it been since the country fell? Almost forty years! You weren't even born then! How could you know the situation back then, or the difficulties your grandfather faced? And yet you're here criticizing him. You've simply listened to some of Chen Shou's words, gotten carried away, and started having these nonsensical dreams. Do you know how difficult it is to kill someone? Do you know how cruel the battlefield is?"

"Of course I know," Liu Xian replied casually. "Over the years, I have experienced countless life-and-death situations, and more than a hundred people have died by my sword."

These words left Liu Xun speechless. In his eyes, Liu Xian was still the son who used to talk back to him when he was a child. The success and recognition he had gained in the outside world were like a legend and did not feel real to him.

So when the argument started, he subconsciously forgot about all of that. But when he saw the scar on Liu Xian's face and his calloused hands, he finally had a real impression of him and couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed.

But he couldn't admit defeat and couldn't help but belittle them, saying, "So what? They're just fighting some petty thieves. Can they be compared to Zhong Hui and Deng Ai back then? What do you care about these people? Your grandfather surrendered back then to save more lives. They didn't cherish their own lives, so how can we be held responsible?"

You mean they're stupid?

"They're definitely fools!" Liu Xun said harshly, then immediately regretted it. He quickly changed the subject, pointing at Liu Xian and saying, "We're not talking about other issues. What are you trying to achieve by saying all this? Are you planning to restore your kingdom?!"

It was only at this moment that Liu Xian suddenly realized that all these years, he had never told his father his thoughts and wishes, and his father knew nothing about him, just like two strangers. He felt a little sad and all his anger disappeared.

He gazed at Liu Xun and slowly said:
"Yes, I am prepared to restore my country."

Upon hearing this, Liu Xun fell silent. The two stared at each other for a long time, and the cold wind outside the window stopped, leaving only the sound of the oil lamp burning quietly.

Liu Xun said slowly, "Do you know what you're saying?"

Liu Xian said, "Of course I know what I'm talking about."

Liu Xun said, "I think you're talking in your sleep."

Liu Xian said, "I'm not talking in my sleep. I've been thinking about this for over ten years, day and night. I wouldn't care even if it meant death."

Upon hearing this, Liu Xun flew into a rage and slammed his fist on the table, saying:

"What do you mean 'it doesn't matter'! Let me ask you the simplest question: if you're planning to restore your country, what are you going to do with me? What about your uncles, brothers, sisters, and your wife?!"

"The court is only willing to let you serve as an official because they are being held hostage, isn't it? You want to restore your kingdom and rebel! Do you think you can take your entire clan with you? Even if you succeed, all of us who remain in Luoyang will die! Have you thought about these things? Or are you already prepared to have your entire clan buried with you in order to achieve these things?!"

Liu Xian had certainly considered these things, but he also knew it was a dead end, and there was no perfect solution. At least, he hadn't thought of one yet. He could only try his best to calm himself down and attempt to persuade his father.
“I will try my best to find a way, but this is the sin of our family! In order to atone for this sin, we must be prepared to make sacrifices.”

"I disagree!"

Liu Xun answered decisively:

"I will never agree to this."

Without waiting for Liu Xian to continue, he continued calmly:
"Don't you know? The State of Jin has a tradition of mutilating corpses. If you are caught, even the corpses of your grandfather, your second uncle, and your mother will be dragged out and executed. Do you want your mother to not have peace even after death?"

Liu Xian was speechless. He never expected that his father, whom he considered unreasonable, would respond with such an impeccable reason. He was even somewhat convinced; if Zhang Ximiao were still alive, he would be willing to give up the whole world for his mother.

But he instinctively didn't want to be persuaded by his father; Liu Xian didn't think his father had the right to say these things to him. He didn't continue the discussion on this topic, but changed the subject, saying, "The follower I brought back isn't actually named Zhu Yan. He calls himself Zhuge Yan and is the son of Zhuge Zhan."

Liu Xun's eyelids twitched, but he didn't reply.

Liu Xian continued, "He has never seen his father since he was a child, nor does he have a mother. He doesn't even know his father's real name."

“That wasn’t my fault.” Liu Xun seemed to have lost interest in speaking to Liu Xian. He stopped looking at Liu Xian, sat on the edge of his bed, in the corner where he had killed his wife years ago, and replied in a low voice:

"Who do you think you are? A reincarnation of Buddha? Even Emperor Zhaolie couldn't do it, so do you think you can? Huh? You can't even convince me. Take a good look at yourself. When you really have the ability to restore the country... then come and talk to me."

Having said that, he waved his hand, signaling Liu Xian to leave quickly. Liu Xian knew that tonight's conversation would be fruitless.

As Liu Xian went out, he thought to himself, "I'm sick too, yet I actually wanted to have a heart-to-heart talk with this kind of person. There are so many bad people in the world, but there are very few who deserve to die like him."

From then on, he completely gave up the idea of ​​communicating normally with his father, and the two returned to that cold relationship, which even worsened.

The family members had hoped to see the two reconcile, but the outcome left them anxious. However, no one knew what they had talked about, so they had no way to offer any advice.

However, Liu Xian couldn't worry about family matters for the time being. Three days after this conversation, he received a message from the Crown Prince, instructing him to secretly go to the Eastern Palace and not to mention it to anyone. (End of Chapter)