Jinting Han people

There is a saying in the Huainanzi: "When a single leaf falls, the world knows autumn has arrived." And Liu Cong was not the only one who left Luoyang this autumn and winter.

Beginning in July, a considerable number of officials in the court requested to be appointed to outside posts. First, He Pan, the Grand Minister of Agriculture, resigned due to illness and returned to his hometown; later, Li Chong, the General Who Subdues the Barbarians, submitted a memorial to resign from office, citing the death of his brother. Countless other unnamed officials followed suit.

By September, the trend of avoiding trouble had already affected normal recruitment. Pei Wei recommended Wei Zhong of Pingyang to Zhang Hua. Zhang Hua, having heard that Wei Zhong had observed six years of mourning for his father and was a well-known filial son, recruited him as the Chief Clerk of the Minister of Works. However, Wei Zhong feigned illness and refused to accept the summons. This inevitably brings to mind the scene nearly nine years earlier when Yang Jun first took power. At that time, when Yang Jun summoned talented people from all over the country, scholars were also afraid to apply and declined the offer.

The court was so engulfed in chaos that it was almost impossible to handle state affairs properly. However, all parties involved remained silent, waiting for the other side to reveal enough weaknesses; lying low was the best course of action.

However, Liu Xian couldn't concern himself with this issue for the time being.

When Liu Xian returned home after the hunting trip, he went to visit his teacher. He was overjoyed to have obtained the Zhangwu Sword, which had been lost by his ancestors for a long time, and naturally wanted to share it with his teacher. Without even changing his clothes, he took off his boots and went straight to his teacher's sickroom. He thought this would surely comfort his teacher and perhaps even improve his condition.

But when they entered the ward, Chen Shou was still unconscious. The weather was gloomy and cold, and a brazier burned in the room, causing the smells of Chinese medicine and charcoal to mix together, making one feel dizzy. In the firelight, Chen Shou's emaciated figure was revealed. Upon seeing this, Liu Xian's pleasant mood instantly turned somber, and he sat beside him, motionless for a long time.

It wasn't until noon that Chen Shou made a sound on the bed. Liu Xian knew that his teacher had woken up. He quickly brought over a bowl of millet porridge and, as usual, waited until the porridge was about the same temperature as his body temperature before helping his teacher sit up and lean against a table. Once he was settled, he fed him spoonful by spoonful.

After feeding him the porridge, Liu Xian turned Chen Shou over and massaged him while saying:
"Teacher, I went hunting in Wan'an Mountain these past few days."

Chen Shou looked at him with tired eyes, blinked, and indicated that he was listening.

Liu Xian then told him about his experiences over the past few days, who he had met, and what had happened. He knew that for a patient who couldn't leave the house, just hearing about what was happening outside was already a form of entertainment.

Liu Xian was very long-winded, recounting everyone he had met and every place he had visited, along with his own thoughts. He specifically mentioned the respect that Prince Sima Chi of Yuzhang had shown him, hoping to give his teacher a sense of accomplishment. Chen Shou indeed smiled slightly and nodded to him gently.

In the end, Liu Xian mentioned his encounter with the tiger with Lu Ji. He recounted the harrowing experience and said he was still shaken by it. Chen Shou listened with great concern, and even though he knew Liu Xian was safe, he couldn't help but tighten his grip on Liu Xian's hand.

When Chen Shou spoke of killing the tiger, he also showed a proud expression, gently patting Liu Xian's palm with his fingers to show his satisfaction.

At this moment, Liu Xian finally took out the Zhangwu Sword and displayed it in front of Chen Shou, saying, "Teacher, Heaven is on my side! I actually managed to get this sword back!"

Chen Shou was stunned for a moment. His eyes widened and he stared intently at Zhang Wujian. He made two noises as if he wanted to say something, but then he exhaled, his eyes rolled back, and he fainted.

Liu Xian was shocked to see this. He hadn't expected his teacher to react so strongly. He quickly sent Zhu Fu to fetch a doctor, then had A Chun prepare medicine, and washed Chen Shou's body with hot water. After all that fuss, the doctor Qin, who had been summoned, examined Chen Shou's pulse and shook his head repeatedly at Liu Xian, saying directly, "Lord Chengzu is already on the verge of death. My lord, you should start preparing for his funeral."

These words deeply saddened Liu Xian, who was also utterly bewildered. It was clearly a good thing, so why would his teacher react this way? Was that just the last time the teacher and student would see each other?
He was somewhat unwilling to give up, and stayed up all night waiting by his teacher's bedside, hoping that his teacher might wake up again.

He waited until midnight. Liu Xian had come all the way back from Wan'an Mountain and hadn't had a proper rest yet. In the dim light, he lit a lamp. The quietly burning flame made him feel lonely, and he began to doze off. His head drooped down several times, only to suddenly lift up again.

Suddenly, Chen Shou shouted and woke up. The voice was so loud that Liu Xian was instantly awakened as well; his teacher could speak! He quickly leaned against the headboard and whispered, "..."

"Teacher, teacher."

Chen Shou, his hair disheveled, grabbed Liu Xian's outstretched hand and cried out hoarsely, "The Great General has died in battle, and our country has fallen! The world is now unified, what's wrong with me serving him?! My teacher said long ago that the Mandate of Heaven belongs to Jin!"

He didn't know where the strength came from, but he gripped Liu Xian's hand tightly. Then tears streamed down his face again. He sobbed, "It's not my fault. It's fate, it's destiny! Don't blame me, don't blame me..."

“Now that the king has surrendered, what’s wrong with me wanting to reunite with my family…” Chen Shou murmured. “Ayun, Tianbao, why didn’t you wait for me…”

Liu Xian knew his teacher was talking nonsense. Although he had never heard him mention it before, it wasn't hard to guess that this must be his teacher's wife and children. Who had he been talking to before?
However, Chen Shou was still not fully conscious, and he called out loudly, "General, what brings you here?!"

"Don't blame me! Don't blame me! I've really tried my best! There's no way out at all, what am I supposed to do?"

"I don't want to die! I want to live! I want to be a human being, not living in hiding, but living with dignity!"

At this point, he burst into tears again. The sixty-year-old man wailed like a child, saying, "I will never forget that day..."

Liu Xian thought he was having a nightmare, so he quickly broke free from his teacher's hand, placed his hands on his shoulders, and tried to shake Chen Shou awake, saying in his ear, "Teacher, wake up! It's me, Huai Chong! It's me, Huai Chong!"

There was no response for a long time. Upon closer inspection, it was discovered that Chen Shou had fallen asleep again, still crying.

Almost another hour passed before Chen Shou finally woke up. He recognized Liu Xian, called for him to come closer, and grabbed his hand tightly.

Chen Shou's tears had dried, and he said in a hoarse voice, "Huai Chong, I'm going to die!" As he said this, his face was withered, but the sorrow in his eyes touched Liu Xian, causing a tear to slowly roll down his cheek.

Chen Shou said, "I have no son, only you as my student. To me, you are my child. You must live well, even if you don't achieve anything, it doesn't matter, understand?" Liu Xian nodded, wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes, and replied to his teacher, "Teacher, I remember."

Chen Shou sighed and said, "In the past, I taught you many outdated principles, hoping that you could become a virtuous person. But now that I think about it, I haven't even been able to do it myself. In this world, it's too difficult to be a person who stands tall and upright! Don't have too many concerns. If you can't do it, then don't do it. Only by surviving can you have the possibility of making a comeback."

He muttered to himself, "If I hadn't learned these principles, would I have had so many troubles in my life?"

Chen Shou then said to Liu Xian, "I have some handwritten books in the backyard of my mansion, hidden in the woodshed. Please burn them for me."

Liu Xian nodded in agreement.

Chen Shou stroked his disciple's hand again and said to him, "Although you didn't tell me about the political situation outside, I know that the current situation must be very tense. I don't have much to advise you, only two points."

"Don't trust anyone except yourself; no one is truly trustworthy."

"Don't think about restoring your country and becoming emperor, that will ruin you. Like I said, look forward and be kinder to yourself."

Upon hearing this, Liu Xian was almost speechless and did not nod.

With his last breath, Chen Shou grasped Liu Xian's hand and whispered to him the insights he had pondered for many years. These were things he had repeatedly considered while traveling throughout the country and compiling history. He didn't know if his thoughts were correct, but he was determined to share them with his disciple.

He said, "Never before in history has there been such a collapse of social order and morality as today, which is destined to be a chaotic era. But chaotic eras are different from one another. At the end of the Han Dynasty, there was the legacy of the four hundred years of the Han Dynasty, so after the war, people still longed for stability and tried to restore unity. But the Sima clan's usurpation has even unified the world, and people's hearts are in turmoil! Everyone wants to take their place, and this will probably not be stabilized in just a few decades. It is possible that the world will be filled with strife, and the disaster will last for hundreds of years!"

"Sima Yan enfeoffed various princes, thinking that he could preserve the dynasty. However, in reality, the princes lacked vision, and their households were full of people who liked chaos and gloating. This only exacerbated the fratricide."

"There are so many barbarians in the world, almost tens of millions. And they are young, unlike the Jin dynasty which is so old and decadent. Could someone possibly kill all these barbarians? Perhaps they will even establish many states."

At this point, Chen Shou looked directly at Liu Xian again and said to him, "So don't think about becoming emperor. It's an extremely difficult thing to do well. If you take even half a step wrong, you might bring disaster to your whole family! Huai Chong, believe me, manage your family well, form marriage alliances with various powerful clans, and cultivate talents for your descendants. This is the right path."

Liu Xian held his teacher's hand but did not answer.

Chen Shou knew that he probably couldn't persuade Liu Xian; he was just giving his disciple a final lesson on his deathbed.

Chen Shou felt his breath growing weaker, and he whispered, "After I die, you don't need to transport me back to my home in Bashu. Just bury me in Beiman, next to my mother's grave. Huai Chong, do you still remember that spot?"

Liu Xian certainly remembered it; it was his first period of schooling, a time that was both lonely and carefree.

"In my life, there's really nothing to regret. I lost my father at a young age, and my teachers didn't like me. Later, I came to Luoyang with a few friends to take up official positions, but we mostly went our separate ways. My career in officialdom wasn't smooth either. Not only did I not have a wife, but my mother also left me. I struggled alone in this world for a long time. What was I doing all this for? I'm so lonely..."

At this point, Chen Shou suddenly had nothing more to say. Was he truly alone? He had actually experienced a period that was both arduous and joyful, but he had never dared to recall it, silently telling himself that he had long forgotten it. Yet, in the autumn wind of Didao, by the flowing water of Longshan, he once believed he possessed the whole world. But in the end, he became a traitor, a deserter.

He didn't choose that kind of life because it was too hard, so he didn't want to leave, and he believes most people in the world wouldn't want to either.

But at this moment, he felt deep regret. He had said so much to Liu Xian, but there was one question he hadn't asked: If he hadn't left back then, would everything have been different?
He recalled the question Liu Xian's disciple had asked him when they first met: "Does a person live on after they die?"

He was always afraid to answer this question directly: if people have spirits after they die, how should he face those people? It was because of this that he persevered and did not die.

Now, Chen Shou no longer spoke. He looked up at the ceiling, and before he knew it, his final moment had arrived. Liu Xian felt the warmth slipping away from his teacher's body. At some point, Chen Shou's breathing stopped, and he passed away as quietly as a feather falling to the ground at the age of sixty-seven.

For the next month, Liu Xian was busy with the funeral arrangements for his teacher, Chen Shou. Just as Chen Shou had said before his death, he was a lonely man, and no one cared about his passing. Liu Xian held the funeral for his teacher, but not a single one of his close friends came to visit.

In accordance with Chen Shou's last wishes, Liu Xian did not send his coffin back to Bashu, but buried him at the place where he had built his hermitage in Mangshan. At the same time, he wrote to the Chen clan members in Anhan County, Bazhou Prefecture, to inform them of this matter.

After finishing these matters, Liu Xian went to Chen Shou's old residence, intending to burn his belongings according to his will.

Entering the dilapidated mansion, he opened the dusty woodshed, and as his teacher had said, there was a wooden box underneath. Liu Xian opened it and was surprised to find more than twenty volumes of manuscripts, the title of which was clearly "Continuation of the Book of Han." However, these twenty-odd volumes were actually all the same volume; his teacher had only written the beginning of the first volume each time before discarding it. This process had been repeated more than twenty times, resulting in so many discarded manuscripts.

Facing these discarded drafts, Liu Xian recalled his teacher's words and was overwhelmed with emotion. After much deliberation, Liu Xian burned most of the manuscripts, but kept one scroll, placing it together with the "Collected Works of Zhuge Liang" that Li Mi had left him.

He thought: I can't live according to my teacher's wishes; I still want to take the most difficult path. (End of Chapter)