Horse-head Wall Reflects the Qing Dynasty

Chapter 80 The Cycle of Stars and the Changing of Heaven and Earth The Osmanthus Branches Fall Like Rain, the Sun and Moon Chill

The weather is still warm, and flowers are blooming on the branches, but they are still just scattered here and there.

A cold rain falls, and two people gaze alone out of their windows.

"Miss, it's getting a bit chilly, why don't you go back to your room and rest?" Originally, the master wanted to send another capable older sister to Miss's side, but in the end, she was the one who was chosen.

The young lady stood close to the window, which, like an extremely thirsty person, opened its mouth wide to welcome the rain falling from the sky.

Although Liu Jiao'an did not make things difficult for the young girl that day, the incident was sudden, and the young girl was a little afraid of Liu Jiao'an when she first arrived—she did not know if this young lady was difficult to serve, and why she had been away from home for so long and returned to the Liu family.

But after only three to five days, the girl discovered that Liu Jiaoan was very easy to get along with.

He didn't ask for much each day, and rarely gave any instructions. Occasionally, he would ask her to make him a cup of tea, but eventually, he ended up making it himself.

"Need not."

Was her word a bit cold? Liu Jiao'an turned around and saw the little girl still standing there. She forced a smile onto her stiff face: "If you're tired, go and rest. I don't need you to stay with me."

"Miss, I'll go get you a coat to put on." The girl said, about to get to work.

Perhaps to prove herself, the young girl felt that although she wasn't as observant as her older sister, since her mistress had chosen her to stay by her side, she should at least let her mistress know that she hadn't misjudged her.

It had been a long time since I'd been this particular. Besides, the breeze wasn't cold; on the contrary, it cleared my mind, making it perfect for quiet reflection. After a moment of silence, Liu Jiao'an declined the young girl's offer: "No need."

"You should go back first." Having grown accustomed to the cold and dampness of the countryside, Liu Jiao'an knew that the little girl was still growing and shouldn't be exposed to the wind and cold. After looking the little girl over, Liu Jiao'an became the one who advised her to go back.

The young girl stood timidly inside the house, looking at her mistress, who was probably even weaker than herself, through the threshold. Her heart clenched with worry, wondering if the latter might have caught a cold and develop a fever that night.

The rain wasn't heavy; it was just a hazy, almost nighttime sky, which really dampened anyone's spirits.

Liu Jiao'an was exhausted from standing, but the drizzling rain and the wind showed no sign of letting up.

Mr. Liu was not in a hurry to arrange a marriage for Liu Jiao, even though he had mentioned finding a suitable match for his daughter when she first returned home. Perhaps because of past experiences, Mr. Liu did not dare to act rashly this time.

Liu Jiao'an was naturally delighted with this. Suddenly inspired, she turned around and was about to go downstairs, intending to wade through the rain across the courtyard and head towards her father's study.

By the time the young girl realized what was happening and grabbed her umbrella to catch up, Liu Jiao'an was already turning to disappear at the end of the stairs: "Miss, Miss, don't walk so fast..."

The little girl finally stopped Liu Jiao'an before she rushed into the rain, holding an umbrella that wasn't really that significant over her head.

"Miss, please be careful not to catch a cold."

"Father, do you think he's old..."

"What did you say, Miss?" The rain outside the window was still making some noise, and the little girl didn't hear what Liu Jiaoan was stammering about.

With Liu Jiao'an's good relationship with her, the young lady now doesn't hesitate to ask her questions to her mistress.

After hesitating for a moment, Liu Jiaoan finally decided not to repeat the question she wanted to ask: "It's nothing."

Only then did Liu Jiao'an's gaze fall on the umbrella in the little girl's hand. She glanced at the so-called rain outside the eaves, reached out to take the umbrella from the little girl, and while the little girl was in a daze, she had already stood in the rain with the umbrella in her hand: "You go back inside and stay there. I'm going to find my father. I'll be right back."

Back in the small courtyard, Guan Yin was like a child who needed constant care and attention; now, with this little girl in tow, Liu Jiao'an couldn't help but wonder if she was born to be a wife and mother in the inner quarters.

Instead of prioritizing his own momentary pleasure over his father and the entire Liu family, he even made his father a laughingstock among his colleagues!

"What are you doing here?"

Hearing her father's familiar voice, Liu Jiao'an stopped in her tracks, only then realizing that she had been in a daze and had unknowingly walked to the outside of her father's study.

"I've come to see Father." Liu Jiao'an answered readily, as if her father had truly said that everything that had happened in the past few years had never occurred. "How has Father been lately?"

Mr. Liu cared about this daughter. He put down his pen and looked at the top of Liu Jiao'an's head: "Okay."

Perhaps it was because Liu Jiao'an's figure was rather thin, or perhaps it was because Liu Jiao'an came into the rain, but her father frowned, his tone filled with worry and reproach: "What are you doing here in this weather? If you miss your father, you can just ask someone to come and call him... Why didn't the people around you stop you?"

Liu Jiao'an was about to open her mouth to explain to the little girl beside her, but then she remembered that she hadn't asked the question before she left, so she let her father continue.

After all, it wouldn't be good for the little girl to speak ill of her father to her. How could her father give her the truth in this matter?

“I remember you chose that person yourself. Don’t be fooled by appearances again and easily believe their words of ‘loyalty’.”

Mr. Liu began writing long passages at his desk again, only glancing up at his daughter for a moment when he opened his mouth.

"What Father said is true..."

Suddenly, Liu Jiao'an thought of someone and, while pacing towards the round stool opposite her father, opened her mouth and said, "Actually, sometimes it's hard to believe what someone does. Who knows if they did it against their conscience?"

"Of all evils, lust is the worst. Judge by actions, not intentions; if you judge by intentions, no one in the world is perfect." Liu's father said without looking up, carefully adding the last stroke to the line of text.

Liu Jiao'an did not respond to her father's words. She just listened to the rain and looked at her father who was bent over his desk. In a daze, she returned to her childhood.

Back then, my father's study wasn't as spacious as it is now, but it was much cleaner.

Liu's father's behavior just now still failed to answer the question that Liu Jiao'an wanted to ask, but he said "judging by actions, not intentions." Liu Jiao'an sat opposite him, like a naive child wanting to watch an elder make the same naive mistake, carefully watching the person in front of her.

"Father, what matters are judged by intention, and what matters by deeds? And who decides these matters?"

"Hmm?" Mr. Liu looked up at his daughter, seemingly not having heard the question clearly. "Jiao'an, say it again. I didn't hear what you said clearly."

“Father, what I mean is, is there no one in this world who is without fault in terms of both heart and deeds?” Liu Jiao’an put the question back into her mind and asked it again.

“That’s something even a saint couldn’t do,” Liu’s father replied.

"What if we say it the other way around? I don't believe there's no one in this world who can do it... It's just an excuse for not being able to do it."

"Those who could do it would have already driven themselves to their deaths."

In an instant, Liu Jiaoan felt the hairs on her body stand on end.

Although her father's words seemed more understated than many of his previous statements, even his official documents and actions in the bureaucracy, Liu Jiao'an inexplicably felt a chill run down her spine and wanted to quickly change the subject. "Father, I heard..."

"Ok?"

"I heard that Lingxiao, that girl from the music academy, has a sweetheart and is going to the capital to take the imperial examination. She has a good chance of passing."

“Oh, that’s normal. There are plenty of scholars and even top scholars in our village… What’s wrong? My son, are you interested…”

"No, I just suddenly remembered."

Liu Jiao'an couldn't think of any topic to escape the oppressive feeling brought on by the previous topic.

“If my son is interested, I can find out where he lives and send someone to propose marriage.”

"No need, I don't want any more girls from the music academy."

His daughter was heartbroken. Fortunately, she turned back early. Mr. Liu smiled with relief and didn't put any more pressure on his daughter. Instead, he called her to his side and showed her the pile of official documents on his table.

“My son, sometimes I really regret that you are not a man, otherwise I could have taught you all my skills.”

Liu Jiao'an nodded, but her heart suddenly trembled—her father's words just now were calm and ordinary, but they left a sinister feeling in people's hearts, and she still felt like a poison that was clinging to her bones.

Such skill is truly terrifying; it's better not to learn it.

“You are a daughter, so of course you don’t know how many helpless things there are in this world… If you were a boy, having seen so much life and death, and so much blood and tears, you wouldn’t find what your father just said so frightening.”

What's even more terrifying is that her father noticed her emotions. Liu Jiao'an lowered her eyes and belatedly realized what "fear after the fact" meant.

"Don't be afraid, Father only uses these to scare outsiders. Otherwise, how can Father gain a foothold in the officialdom?"

"As long as it doesn't have much impact on the Liu family, your father will let you do it."

"You are, after all, my daughter!"

These words pressed down on Liu Jiao'an, and she suddenly felt that her father might have seen through all her plans long ago—or rather, the moment she suspected her father and decided to come back to find out more information, wasn't she already three-tenths like her father?

"What's wrong? Did you catch a cold?"

Even though her father's caring words were right beside her ears, Liu Jiao'an felt as if she had fallen into an ice cave. It wasn't that her face was stiff from the wind earlier, but rather that she was so shocked by those few words that she couldn't open her mouth.

It's as if once she opens her mouth, she'll reveal the truth about her return home, or even a blunt interrogation.

"Father, I'm alright."

The words she spoke relieved Liu Jiao of the immense weight that had been pressing on her heart. Finally, she had temporarily escaped.

"Father, I'm a little sleepy. If there's nothing else here, I'll head back now."

Mr. Liu didn't speak immediately, but simply nodded, indicating to Liu Jiao'an not to forget to hold the umbrella.

Only after the latter had already stepped one foot over the threshold did Liu's father speak. His words, carried by a gust of cold wind, reached Liu Jiao'an's ears, sending chills down her spine.

"If anything happens, remember to tell your father. You are my daughter."

"Okay," Liu Jiaoan murmured.

Okay, how can it be okay?

No, this is not good!
In the quiet of the rain, Liu Jiao'an's inner cries had long since drowned out the light drizzle, and were even loud enough to reach Guan Yin's ears at the same time.

"On such a day, it's no wonder the ancients said, 'Leaving one's country and longing for home, worried about slander and ridicule, seeing only desolation, one is overwhelmed with sorrow.'" The students were still copying books when Guan Yin stood close to the threshold, gazing at the clouds and rain outside.

Such weather is perfect for sleeping. If Guan Yin were still at her job, and if it happened to be the weekend, she would probably be lying in bed right now, with a hot cup of milk tea and a phone that she can charge anytime, surrounded by warmth and happiness.

Now, Guan Yin is forced to stand alone behind a group of students, watching the seemingly endless rain outside, shrouding the endless mountains, endlessly completing... an unknown life in this era that does not belong to him.

"Teaching is everywhere; it takes ten years to grow a tree, but a hundred years to cultivate a person."

Guan Yin mentally encouraged himself.

Right and wrong are not the "responsibility" that another person leaves on themselves in life. After a few days of quiet reflection, Guan Yin recalled the words that each teacher had said to him.

"Some lawyers, even when their clients have given up hope, still persevere in their efforts, not for the sake of winning, but out of respect and love for the profession."

"Some doctors, some teachers..."

Guan Yin knew that his first priority was to teach well.

"Teachers must understand the principle of 'putting themselves in others' shoes and setting a good example.' Otherwise, are they expecting their students to teach them how to be good people?"

"To put it bluntly, you're waiting for the students' parents to complain to the education bureau and teach you a lesson. To put it nicely... isn't it shameful to let the students teach you how to be a person and how to do things?"

"I'm not telling you that you can't admit that students are better than you, but you have to put into practice what you say and the principles you read in books."

Guan Yin was very fortunate to meet a truly caring mentor, and thus learned a great deal about being a teacher and a person from her mentor.

“It’s not for her, it’s for…the right thing,” Guan Yin gazed at the rain, each drop seemingly reflecting the teacher’s image, muttering to himself. At the same time, Guan Yin felt that he had probably figured it out.

Hearing a rustling sound behind him, Guan Yin turned around sharply. Taking advantage of the students' quietness as if they were watching a commotion, he quietly walked up to the side of the mischievous student and caught him red-handed.

"What is this?" Guan Yin knew without even opening it that it was a cheat sheet.

"Yes, yes, yes..." The child blushed.

Guan Yin didn't say anything, but silently picked up the small crumpled piece of paper and put it on his desk without ever opening it: "Fifteen minutes. In fifteen minutes, I will check your dictation of yesterday's assigned homework."

This gives the child a last-minute opportunity to cram.