Huayu: I'm reborn, but you still force me to be a scumbag?

Chapter 527 Have a great weekend!

The moment Chen Duling said those words, she regretted them.

She was already very frustrated because she had spent a lot of time trying to fix the computer, and then she suddenly heard these extremely unpleasant words, which made her angry.

She's always had this temper; when she gets angry, she likes to smash things. Cell phones, computers, cosmetics—she's broken them all.

But this time, she knew she had overreacted. Her own cousin hadn't said a word, so why was she in such a hurry?
Seeing that Zhang Yunfen was so frightened she couldn't speak, Chen Duling quickly softened her tone and said, "Yunyun, do you think it's fair that people online are saying these things about him? Shouldn't it be the other way around? He didn't rush back to cash in after winning the award; doesn't that show that Chen Nuo is different from others?"

"To be frank, I'm not a fan of his."

……

Ten minutes later, the four girls were back to their usual cheerful and chatty selves, acting as if nothing had happened. They went to the cafeteria for lunch together.

It was a little past 12 p.m. Beijing time, and there were quite a few people going up and down the dormitory building, making a lot of noise.

Li Qian and Zhang Yunfen walked in front, while Chen Duling and Pan Shouyi walked behind.

Pan Shouyi whispered, "You scared me just now."

Chen Duling was a little embarrassed and said, "I got a little worked up when I heard her using those stupid things she said online to talk about Brother Nuo."

Pan Shouyi said, "Don't tell my brother about what just happened."

Chen Duling was startled and asked cautiously, "Huh? He'll be unhappy?"

Pan Shouyi said, "I'm afraid he won't want me as his sister anymore, and he'll want you instead."

Chen Duling laughed immediately.

Just then, two girls walked past her on their way upstairs. Seeing her smiling face, she was instantly captivated and kept looking back as she passed by.

But this kind of thing is already commonplace for Chen Duling.

The two continued talking.

Chen Duling said, "Actually, I really didn't mean anything by it. It's just that your brother took great care of me during my trip to Venice. I've seen those people talking about me online these past two days, and I really can't stand it. I just got angry."

"Haha."

“That’s true.” As they spoke, the two had already gone downstairs and were walking on the campus road. Chen Duling leaned closer and said, “It’s obvious that Brother Nuo is busy, but some media outlets, unable to get an interview, started spreading rumors. And what’s even more infuriating is that some people, without even knowing the facts, just joined in the commotion… Hey, what are you laughing at?”

Pan Shouyi laughed and said, "Based on my understanding of my brother, he is a very petty person. I guess he just hasn't had time to deal with those media yet. Once he has time, he definitely won't let them off the hook."

"...Your brother must be very angry."

"No, he's used to being scolded since he was a child, so he's very thick-skinned. You don't know, when he was in high school in our area, back then he... never mind."

Chen Duling asked curiously, "What is it? Tell me."

Pan Shouyi shook his head and said, "No, I can't tell. If I do, my parents will definitely scold me to death."

Then, after thinking for a moment, he said, "But, well, I can tell you something else, something else I've been thinking about for quite a while, and I think it's pretty much a done deal."

Chen Duling asked curiously, "What?"

Pan Shouyi coughed, put on a confident expression, and said, "I think my brother might have an illegitimate child."

Chen Duling was taken aback and exclaimed, "Ah!?"

Pan Shouyi whispered, "It's true. When I was in Venice, I found it strange when my brother told me he was reading books. When has he ever read a book in his life, especially a book about raising children? And do you remember a year ago, there was a news report that he gave birth in Canada and was going to immigrate? Do you remember?"

Chen Duling recalled for a moment and said, "Uh, it seems so."

Pan Shouyi said, "We've known each other since we were little. He's so petty, and after being so wronged, he must be incredibly angry. But then I discovered he didn't do anything, didn't say anything. Plus, what I found out in Venice made me think, my brother, he must have a child with Fan Bingbing, Liu Yifei, or some other woman, and he's hiding it from my aunt, my uncle, and the whole world! Hahaha~"

Chen Duling: "…………"

Pan Shouyi continued excitedly, "But I never expected that I, being so clever, would see through his plan. Haha, when he gets back to China, I'm going to have a good talk with him about this. If he doesn't try to bribe me, I'm telling you, he's finished. If I tell my aunt, he's dead meat. Help me think of a way to blackmail him. Should I make him buy me a new phone, or a new laptop?"

While Pan Shouyi was speaking, Chen Duling remained silent. Then she suddenly said, "...Xiao Yi."

"what?"

"What exactly did Nuo do in high school?"

……

……

Chen Nuo was unaware that his cousin had begun to delve into the biggest secret of his life besides his rebirth, but even if he did know, he couldn't care less about it right now.

After all, his live stream was cut off in mainland China for some inexplicable reasons, forcing Chen Duling, Pan Shouyi and others to give up.

However, his uninhibited performance on SNL was not over yet.

"...Although you are very bad to us, we are very friendly to you."

Chen Nuo took a drag of his cigarette. Something seemed to be floating on the teleprompter, but he ignored it. He exhaled a puff of smoke and said, “For example, in my elementary school geography or history textbook, when introducing America, the first paragraph said, ‘In 1492, an American white man named Columbus discovered a new continent, which is now America.’ Then, the next paragraph said, ‘Millions of Native Americans originally lived on this land.’”

“I was about nine years old at the time. I was looking at my textbook and thinking, ‘Wow, so this is called discovery.’”

A burst of laughter erupted in the room.

"So after that class, I went and took some money from my deskmate."

"Then the teacher caught me and said I stole money. I said I didn't steal it, I just noticed it."

"Hahahahahahaha!" The whole audience burst into laughter.

Chen Nuo laughed as he said, "So see how good we are to you. What you did is like someone stealing someone else's car after the party."

"The police said he stole the car, but he said no, it wasn't stealing, he just found someone else's new car."

"Hahahahahahaha~"

"The police officer was a bit angry and asked him what would happen to the original owner of the car. He said that the original owner could live in the trunk of the car. Of course, if they didn't like the name 'trunk,' they could change it, such as calling it the Indian Reservation."

Hahahahahahahaha—

Throughout Chen Nuo's narration, his expressions and gestures, combined with his storytelling, kept the audience laughing non-stop, culminating in a burst of laughter, applause, and cheers.

Actually, although SNL has always been quite risqué, it is somewhat inappropriate for a foreigner to tell such a joke about American dark history on SNL, as it could very well trigger a reaction in Americans.

But in the SNL control room, Lorne Michaels and director Don Roy seemed unconcerned, arms crossed and smiles on their faces.

At that moment, a staff member nearby reported with great excitement: "Lorne, Don, just got the data from Nelson, and we've surpassed 1700 million for this game!"

Lorne nodded, then turned and asked, "What are the current comments on social media about this opening segment?"

Someone said in an exaggerated tone, "They love him to death. I bet even their own parents have never heard those words before."

Tang said, "Report any problems to me immediately."

“No problem. But I don’t think there will be any problems, except for the KKK.” The man continued exaggeratedly, “I’m serious, I think the last foreigner who was this popular in America was probably Diana.” “Hahahaha.” Lorne and Don both laughed.

But Lorne immediately stopped smiling, sighed regretfully, and said, "It's almost over."

……

Yes, it's almost over.

On the monitor in the control room, Chen Nuo had finished his cigarette. Although he hadn't inhaled it and had smoked very slowly, the cigarette had still burned to the end.

He stubbed out his cigarette, stuffed it into his pocket, and then suddenly plopped down on the steps.

"Excuse me, let me sit for a while, I'm tired right now." He sighed, looked at the audience in front of him, and said, "I don't even know what's wrong with me."

“You know what? I just got back from Venice yesterday. Because of the time difference, I didn’t sleep a wink last night. I’m dizzy and my head is spinning, and yet I still have to come up here to tell you jokes. Seriously, the more the Indians didn’t want to be discovered by you motherfuckers, the more I fucking didn’t want to come here.”

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."

“But after Lorne called me a few times, I still came. You know why? Because I wanted to make money off you… no, it’s because I like you.”

The camera panned across the audience, and everyone in the audience was laughing. This atmosphere was even transmitted to countless television viewers through the screen.

Susan was one of them.

She stared wide-eyed at the screen as the guest, lounging lazily on the steps, became the first person in history to host the SNL opening show while sitting on the floor.

His hair, now dyed black and neatly combed, framed his deep-set eyes with a nonchalant smile and a slight upturn at the corners of his lips. His tall, slender figure leaned casually against the stage steps, exuding an air of languid arrogance.

At that moment, Susan truly felt that there was no man in the world more handsome than him.

She also made a vow in her heart that after entering university, she would definitely, definitely, definitely find a Chinese boyfriend as her first boyfriend.

Chen Nuo's shameless demeanor made the short-haired black man living in the big house chuckle.

“He’s very funny and popular with young people. I think you could invite him to our house sometime,” the Black man said.

The middle-aged Black woman next to him hesitated and said, "But he is Chinese."

“He is, but I don’t think it’s a problem for him. In fact, such a background might be more appealing to swing voters.”

“I suggest you ask Joanna for her opinion. She’s your campaign manager, you can talk to her. This is the final stage, we can’t afford to make any mistakes. Besides, I know he’s very close to that awful Donald, and I think he might not be as close to us as other Hollywood stars.”

The Black man nodded and said, "Then I'll have someone inquire about it, and we'll see what happens later."

"Ok."

Before them, on the television hanging on the white wall, the handsome young man with dark hair suddenly made a face as if he had heard something, frowning and shaking his head, saying, "No, no, no, I said from the beginning that I didn't want to talk about this..."

"...Do you really want to tell me?"

"Sigh, alright, it seems you weren't driven away by my scolding. So I can reveal a little bit. Remember, I didn't want to say this, but you forced me to."

"Ryan Reynolds said on The Tonight Show the day before yesterday that he chatted with me at XJ's hotel."

"No, there was no chatting. He was crying like a sissy, begging me to comfort him."

"And in order to hear him gossip about his ex-wife, I had to hold my nose and listen to his nonsense."

"Yes, that's right. I'll repeat it again. There was no chatting. Ryan Reynolds was crying and begging me to comfort his wounded heart. Although I don't want to use that analogy, I was probably like his father to him at that time."

"Remember, this is something I didn't originally intend to say."

"Hahahahahahaha~"

Although not everyone watched The Tonight Show the day before yesterday, Chen Nuo's vivid expressions and voice, coupled with his hilarious lines, made it feel like a comedy movie, making people laugh without even realizing it.

This time, Chen Nuo did not interrupt them. Instead, he waited until they finished laughing before smiling and saying, "But Ryan Reynolds did not lie about one thing: we did become friends after that."

"An American and a Chinese man were chatting and exchanging heartfelt words in a hotel in Xinjiang, China. In the end, we became friends."

"Sounds amazing, doesn't it?"

"I think this might show that there aren't actually that many barriers and obstacles in this world, just like the TV series I just filmed, when it was released on Netflix on September 15th..."

Before he could finish speaking, he was interrupted by laughter and boos from the audience.

Chen Nuo laughed, "Since you've figured it out, I'll be frank: I am indeed advertising. Let me be clearer: promise me, Americans, that in three days, you'll log onto your computers and watch my show on Netflix. I'm so tired, yet I'm here on this show to tell you jokes, and I haven't even been paid... Remember, watch my show; it's what you owe me."

"Hahahahahaha." Laughter erupted from the audience again.

After they quieted down, Chen Nuo said, "When you watch my TV series, you'll find that it's filmed in Chinese. But it will be dubbed, subtitled, and broadcast to you and people all over the world."

"That's what I wanted to say."

"Actually, whether we speak Chinese or English, French or Italian, we all live on the same earth."

"Just like the Venice Film Festival I attended before, there were directors from more than 80 countries who made different films in their own languages. But in the end, all that's needed is to add subtitles, and people from any country can sit in, watch, understand, and enjoy them."

"Because we are all human beings, our joys and sorrows are the same."

"Often, the so-called barriers and obstacles are just things in our imagination. As long as we have more goodwill and sit down to talk, we may be able to become friends."

"No matter who you are or where you come from."

As he spoke, the SNL band behind him began to play a gentle and soothing melody, and the scene gradually fell into tranquility.

After he finished speaking, there was still no sound.

Chen Nuo pointed to a person in front of him, "What's your name? Where are you from?"

The camera panned to a white girl, who looked to be in her early twenties. When Chen Nuo pointed at her, she looked so nervous that she almost fainted. She stood up with her face flushed, took the microphone, and said, "My name is Ollie, and I'm from Denver."

“Denver.”

Chen Nuo said, "Look, I think we might be able to be friends, Ollie."

"Really?" the girl asked incredulously.

Chen Nuo nodded and said, "Of course, let's exchange phone numbers later. I like Denver. I went there last year on vacation. It's a beautiful Canadian city with absolutely stunning scenery."

"Hahahahaha..."

Amidst the enthusiastic laughter, Chen Nuo finally smiled and stood up.

At the same moment, colorful spotlights suddenly lit up overhead, sweeping across the entire venue, and the band began to beat dynamic drumbeats, while the melodious saxophones resounded loudly.

He straightened his clothes and said, "Thank you everyone for coming to 'Saturday Night Live,' goodnight, have a great weekend!"

After speaking, he bowed slightly, loosened his grip, and the microphone fell to the ground with a thud. He then turned and left.

Behind him, hundreds of people in the audience stood up and applauded enthusiastically.

(End of this chapter)