Huayu: I'm reborn, but you still force me to be a scumbag?

Chapter 384 Oscar and Qin Shi Huang

Chen Nuo didn't like watching TV in his previous life. He spent far more time in bars, nightclubs, and hotels in places like Chinatown and Koreatown than in front of the television.

same,

At that time, he didn't know he would be reborn, let alone imagine it.
He, Chen Nuo, will one day have the opportunity to create countless firsts and become the host of the Oscars!
Otherwise, I believe he would definitely go through all the award ceremony recordings since 2000, trying his best to learn how to amuse the audience while maintaining his composure during a three-hour live broadcast, and copying every hilarious joke.

But the reality is that he didn't.

He only had a handful of examples in his mind, so he couldn't choose more even if he wanted to.

So there's no need to think about it anymore.

I can only apologize to Ellen DeGeneres.

Ellen DeGeneres, born in 1953, is a legendary figure in American entertainment. She was the first actress to publicly come out as gay on a primetime television series, pioneering a new era in television history. Her show, "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," dominated daytime ratings in the United States for 19 consecutive years and garnered 61 Emmy Awards.

She hosted the Academy Awards in 2007 and 2014.

Her hosting duties in 2007 almost ruined her career.

Seven years later, in 2014 she made a comeback and created a miracle that has never been seen before or since.

Chen Nuo watched that year's competition.

He wasn't the only one who had seen it.

It's fair to say that in 2014, netizens all over the world, whether in China, the United States, South Africa, Argentina, or even Lesotho, had seen or at least heard about these clips if they had ever been online.

That night, Ellen DeGeneres seamlessly blended the Oscars with social media.

After one year, Ellen was also hailed as "the woman who brought the Oscars to every household".

As a newly minted plagiarist, Chen Nuo couldn't help but blush after saying the words, thinking that he was about to claim such a great achievement as his own.

However, the others at the conference table couldn't help but look at each other in bewilderment.

Then, a young, beautiful, dark-haired woman sitting at the end of the conference table, with a light and graceful figure, burst out laughing.

That laugh was like a switch, making everyone at the table laugh.

Producer Donna Gigliotti smiled, with the tolerance and gentleness of an elder to a younger person, and said, "Chen, you're so kind. But the matter of ordering pizzas for the staff on set doesn't need to be discussed here. We'll have someone arrange it naturally."

Director David Hill chimed in with a laugh, "That's right, we'd prefer you to focus on the show."

"No, I meant to..."

Without blushing or skipping a beat, Chen Nuo briefly explained his idea. As an actor, Chen Nuo gets into character very quickly. After a slight initial discomfort, he immediately entered the state of a plagiarist, comfortably appropriating Allen's idea as his own, believing it to be his own.

Before he could finish speaking, the black-haired woman who had laughed first started laughing again, this time with an exceptionally loud laugh.

Then she suddenly covered her mouth, her eyes crinkling into crescent moons as she laughed, and the words squeezed out from between her fingers: "I'm sorry, I... hahahahahaha."

Chen Nuo's face darkened, and she said, "Miss Thomson, is what I said so funny?"

He knew who this woman was. Back in Toronto, Canada, when Dawn Hudson came to sign a letter of intent with him, he was accompanied by this beautiful woman in her twenties. She was Dawn Hudson's assistant as the CEO of the Oscars organizing committee, and she was representing Dawn Hudson at the first preparatory meeting for the hosting team.

Yes, a little.

Laura Thomson stopped laughing and glanced at Donna Gigliotti and David Hill. The former looked helpless, while the latter, barely suppressing a laugh, gave her a wink.

Laura then spoke frankly, "Chen, I don't know what you're thinking. You actually believe that big stars like Brad Pitt and Meryl Streep would go out dressed up to eat your greasy pizzas? That's just ridiculous."

Chen Nuo sincerely said, "Big stars are also human. After a four-hour awards ceremony, they also get hungry."

Laura chuckled and said, "No, I don't think so. I think they'd rather starve than touch that kind of thing."

"Besides, the Oscars have already prepared exquisite catering backstage, so you don't need to worry about ordering pizza on the spot."

"And think about it, Meryl is wearing an evening gown, her hands are greasy, and Brad has ketchup all over his mouth, can you even look at that?"

"Are you hosting a ceremony or throwing a pizza party?"

Chen Nuo shook his head and said, "No, no, no, Laura, let me tell you, at an awards ceremony, especially a glamorous one like the Oscars, not a single Hollywood star will eat what you call backstage food. Do you know why?"

Laura paused, looked around, and saw that Donna and Martin were both deep in thought. Reluctantly, she asked, "Why?"

"Because of maintaining their figure. These men and women usually starve themselves for a whole day before the ceremony in order to fit their fat buttocks or flabby bellies into those gorgeous dresses, just to present a perfect figure in front of the camera."

"And after they've endured four long hours of hunger while seated to maintain their celebrity physique, what if a steaming, fragrant pizza appeared before them at that moment..."

"I assure you, there will definitely be people who want to eat it."

……

In the bustling corridor, Laura Thomson chased after Donna Gigliotti, saying with a look of resentment, "Donna, do you really believe what he said? Do you really think Leonardo DiCaprio would eat pizza in front of billions of people worldwide?"

Donna stopped and turned back, saying, "Of course, I believe you."

Laura Thomson exclaimed incredulously, "Donna!?"

Donna Gigliotti smiled indulgently. "Laura, why wouldn't I believe you? Didn't you hear him say that he's about to go to that party boy's party? The whole of America knows they're friends. He offered him pizza, why wouldn't he eat it?"

Laura's pretty face suddenly contorted into a constipated expression. "I was just giving an example, Donna."

Donna laughed and said, "I was just reminding you that he's not an ordinary host; he's a big star. So when he says that's what they think, it's hard for me to argue. Because I'm just an ordinary person who eats whatever I want."

Laura protested, “But this is just ridiculous. Ordering pizza at the Oscars? My God, I think that’s a complete joke. It’s going to be a disaster. I don’t even think his selfie idea is that bad. Although I don’t think any mobile phone advertiser would buy into it. An advertising opportunity where the logo and name won’t even be shown. Haha. Fantasy.”

Donna laughed and said, "But what does it matter?"

"How could it not be related?"

Laura said with annoyance, but then she looked at Donna's smiling face and paused, "Wait, you mean?"

Donna said helplessly, "I've known your mother for over twenty years, Laura. I never expected you to be such an honest little one."

"Huh? What does that mean?"

"Hehe, Laura, since your mother brought you into this industry, you'll have to learn how to deal with those big Hollywood stars sooner or later. You'd better learn this time, little Laura."

Chen Nuo is preparing to buy a house.

The house is located in Trousdale Estates, north of Beverly Hills. It's a Mediterranean-style property on 1.2 acres with a building area of ​​8500 square feet. Situated on a hillside, it boasts 5 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms, an infinity pool, a home theater, and a 4-car garage, among other features.

Located about a 10-15 minute drive from Leonardo DiCaprio's Bird Streets estate, and surrounded by neighbors such as Nicole Kidman, David Beckham, and Jennifer Aniston, it is undoubtedly a Hollywood mansion.

The price of $900 million was something he could never have afforded in his previous life, but now he actually thinks it's quite cheap.

"How's it going? Not bad, right?"

The house was introduced to him by Leonardo DiCaprio at the premiere dinner of "Twilight 3" after he learned that DiCaprio wanted to buy a house.

At this time, Leonardo DiCaprio also came with him, walking and looking around. "I almost chose this place before, but I didn't like its decoration style."

"No cacti planted, right?" Chen Nuo was also looking around. If he bought it, this would be his second house in America, and the first one he had ever bought with his own money, so he had to be careful.

Little Li smiled and said, "You could say that."

The cactus was a joke; it had nothing to do with that kind of greenery favored by American environmentalists. Little Li probably didn't like the glittering, gold-plated decorations in the room, but Chen Nuo thought it was quite nice. He believed that a blond, chubby guy would also find it very appealing. Inviting him to dinner here would likely earn him plenty of "good, very good" responses.

However, many of the renovations are outdated, and a major overhaul is necessary before moving in.

“By the way,” Leonardo DiCaprio continued, “I looked at my stock account today, and I’m very grateful for your recommendation of Apple stock. From today onwards, you are the only stockbroker I trust. I swear. You hold a higher place in my heart than Warren.”

Chen Nuo smiled smugly and said, "Don't say that, it's just good luck."

Leonardo DiCaprio sighed and said, "Right now, I just wish I could go back to that time and buy it all with all my money."

Then, he looked at Chen Nuo with a curious expression and asked, "How much did you make? You didn't buy it around the time of the Berlin Film Festival, did you?"

Chen Nuo said, "Me? I bought it last year."

"last year?"

"Yep, February."

How much did it cost back then?

"$2.7."

"What?!" Leonardo DiCaprio immediately yelled.

"Keep your voice down. The economic crisis had just ended. That's all it was worth."

"My God, how much...how much did you buy?"

"Haha, you really want to know?"

“Tell me quickly, Motherfucker, I’ve made a 50% profit on my $10 million investment since February. I feel like I’m the king of the earth. What about you? How much have you made?”

Seeing Leonardo DiCaprio's impatient look, Chen Nuo smiled and said, "I...I won't tell you."

"Fuck!" Leonardo DiCaprio grabbed him by the neck and choked him. "Will you talk or not?"

"I won't talk!" Chen Nuo grabbed his arm, ready to throw him over his shoulder.

But Leonardo DiCaprio's weight gain over this period has been quite effective. He didn't even wobble; instead, he shifted his center of gravity and dragged Chen Nuo towards the edge of the pool.

As a result, Chen Nuo's flat shoes slipped on the smooth tiles, and he almost fell into the water with them.

Leonardo DiCaprio quickly let go, and the two of them lost their balance and fell to the ground on the lawn next to the pool.

They looked at each other and laughed together.

"Damn it, I just bought those Versace pants," Leonardo DiCaprio said breathlessly. "Tell me, fcuk, satisfy my curiosity."

Chen Nuo glanced at the real estate agent standing at the door, and, thinking the agent couldn't hear him, said with no small amount of pride, "I bought it for 2000 million."

Little Li was stunned for a moment, then asked, "So now? How much have you earned?"

Chen Nuo chuckled and said, "Not much, I made about 5000 million."

Little Li was stunned.

Then she glared at him through gritted teeth, feeling as if she wanted to pounce on him and bite off a piece of his flesh.

Seeing Leonardo DiCaprio's envious expression, Chen Nuo decided to stop talking about how his Berkshire Hathaway shares, which he bought for over $4 each, have now soared to $12 each.

Although it can't compare to Apple's 270% increase, the 50 shares bought for $2000 million are now worth $6000 million.

In other words, after two years, the US stocks he bought for $4000 million are now worth more than $1.3 million, more than doubling in value.

Be a friend of time.

Others might be talking nonsense, but Brother Nuo is serious.

Because he knows where time is going.

Haha.

Otherwise, given his current financial situation, where he's still taking out loans to buy Facebook shares, how could he possibly think a $900 million house is cheap?
Little Li seemed to be insanely jealous, pleading with Chen Nuo to take him along to get rich in the future.

In fact, Chen Nuo knew that this guy was also a savvy investor, owning properties all over the world. And in ten years, when his wealth was calculated, it would probably be comparable to that of some founders of small technology companies.

However, the rate of property appreciation is nothing compared to that of stocks.

After Chen Nuo agreed, Leonardo DiCaprio patted his chest and said, "From now on, you'll be my best friend besides Toby."

Chen Nuo chuckled and said, "Really? That's perfect. As one of your best friends, let me ask you, are you busy on February 27th?"

"No. What? Fuck, no no no. You want me to go to the Oscars and be humiliated by you? Sorry, I'm not going."

"My friend, do you still want to win an Oscar in the future?"

"What does this have to do with whether I win an Oscar or not?"

"Please, you don't even actively participate in award ceremonies, why should the academy give you an award? There's a Chinese saying, 'The longer you stand in front of the camera, the sooner or later you'll be the star.' Do you understand what I mean?" Chen Nuo coaxed patiently.

Leonardo DiCaprio laughed and said, "Don't tell me you became a host because of this!"

Chen Nuo chuckled and said, "Otherwise what? What do you think I'm doing here, skipping Chinese New Year to celebrate with you Americans? Am I crazy?"

Leonardo DiCaprio was stunned for a long time before shaking his head and saying, "Motherfucker, you really have a knack for this. No wonder you've won so many awards... Speaking of which, if you're so talented, why were you treated like that at the Golden Horse Awards...?"

Damn it, this is exposing someone's past!
However, in the end, Leonardo DiCaprio, who was not nominated for Best Actor for his role in "Shutter Island," still agreed to the role.

In this way, he has one more person to joke with without restraint on the spot.

Hehe, just thinking about how many jokes he could make with this chubby plum would give Chen Nuo a tiny bit more confidence in his hosting success.

Afterwards, while chatting with Leonardo DiCaprio, we toured the entire house.

"Hey, come here." Chen Nuo waved to the real estate agent.

Wait for the middle-aged man with a hopeful and excited expression to come over.

Chen Nuo asked directly, "The house's renovation is too old, and I'll have to spend a lot on renovations. Could you ask the landlord if they can lower the price?" The middle-aged real estate agent paused for a moment, then gave a professional smile and said, "Mr. Chen, you're right. This house is indeed quite old, and renovations are inevitable. However, in the Trousdale area, 900 million is already the bottom price after the financial crisis. I can call the landlord now and try to negotiate a discount, but honestly, the landlord's expectations are quite firm. How much lower do you want to go? I'd like to know your bottom line."

"We'll lower the price as much as we can."

"Okay then."

After saying that, he immediately took out his phone, walked to the side, and dialed a number. He lowered his voice, but Chen Nuo could still hear a few words: "Hey, Ms. Theron, this is William..."

Leonardo DiCaprio then whispered to himself, "Did I ever tell you that this used to be Charlize Theron's house?"

"what?"

“Yes, she’s made a few bad movies in the last two years and lost a lot of money in the stock market.” As he spoke, Leonardo DiCaprio winked at him and said lecherously, “I bet if she knew what you were capable of, she would do anything you asked.”

Chen Nuo laughed and said, "Is that so? Then I want her to kick you in the butt."

Little Li laughed and said, "Don't do that, that's too easy on her. By the way, how's your preparation for hosting coming along?"

"It went very smoothly, much smoother than I expected..."

The two chatted for a while, and William finished his call. He then said that Theron was in a hurry and if Chen Nuo could pay in full after the house inspection, he could get a further reduction of $20.

Chen Nuo wasn't good at bargaining, and he thought 20 was a good price. He readily wrote a check for $3 as a deposit.

Speaking of a house of this caliber, it's definitely not something he and Little Li could just look at together; a professional home inspector had to be hired before paying the full amount. The process was quite complicated, taking about 20 days from full payment to the transfer of ownership.

With renovations and repairs in place, we probably won't be able to move in until after the Oscars.

……

……

When Leonardo DiCaprio asked him how his Oscar preparations were going, Chen Nuo indeed felt that things were going quite smoothly.

Moreover, he is not too busy at the moment. Apart from attending a meeting every two days, he doesn't have much to do. It's much easier than he thought.

However, by the time he booked the house, 10 days had passed since he first discussed his ideas with the production team, and the framework of the normal awards ceremony was gradually taking shape.

After discussing the first draft of the opening monologue, Chen Nuo remembered the things he had been told before and asked about them.

Then... he realized something was wrong.

These motherfuckers seem to be just going through the motions with him!

I asked if they had found a pizza place, and they told me about Domino's (the largest pizza chain in the United States).

When asked if they had been able to contact the phone brand, they were told they were still trying. However, Samsung was clearly the biggest spender on this ABC advertising campaign. Ten days have passed and they still haven't been able to reach them?

I believe in your ghost.

Chen Nuo didn't believe for a second that these foreigners were serious about their work.

After the meeting, in the car, Allison Graham overheard his suspicions and said bluntly, "...They are indeed just giving you the runaround. It's simple, they don't think you're serious, or rather, they think you're like other Hollywood people who will change your mind quickly. So, they agree first, and then drag it out until you change your mind. And that's what I usually do."

Chen Nuo said, "Then why didn't you remind me, Alison?"

Allison smiled a little sheepishly and said, "Because I think the same way they do. I'm sorry, Chen. But now I know your determination. What do you want me to do?"

Chen Nuo felt a little helpless.

After accompanying him to the Golden Horse Awards, Qi Yuntian returned to the mainland and will not come over until he finishes the recruitment work.

If he were there, Chen Nuo believed this situation would never have occurred. The misunderstanding between Alison and him now illustrates that in interpersonal relationships, sometimes ability isn't the most important factor; mutual understanding is.

At the same time that he and Allison were talking in the car,

Two women in the conference room he had just left were discussing the same thing.

Donna shrugged and said, "I really didn't expect him to bring this up again."

Laura chuckled, "Me too. I thought his team had stopped his ridiculous ideas. But look at him now! He wasn't exactly happy when he left. Okay, Donna, what would you do in this situation?"

Donna glared at her, annoyed, and said, "Don't be so naughty, Laura. Okay, I'll wait for him to come to us now, and then... I'll tell him we don't have enough manpower and to make him wait a little longer."

"Oh~" Laura exclaimed in sudden realization, "So it's just procrastination?"

"Yes, delay, let him give up on his own, instead of rejecting him outright."

However, to their surprise, Chen Nuo did not contact them until the next meeting, and did not mention the matter again during the meeting.

The two met again afterward.

"He must have given up, right?"

"I suppose so."

"Finally... God, finally I don't have to deal with those absurd ideas anymore. I contacted Samsung through ABC these past two days. They were initially quite willing, but when they heard that there was no logo or name, and they needed to pay extra... Ha, let alone $500 million, they wouldn't even pay $10 more."

“Okay, Laura. So, did you learn something? See, he gave up on his own now, didn’t he? Doesn’t that save us a lot of trouble? So, if you encounter something similar in the future, you don’t need to argue with the other party at all. Just stall, and 99% of the time they will change their minds on their own.”

"Understood, Donna, thank you. I've learned it."

……

……

Shenzhen, China.

Section B of the company headquarters building.

It was 8 p.m., but strangely, the company's office area was still brightly lit.

As the head of the Brand and Communication Department of the Marketing Department, Li Yaoming was sitting at his desk, staring at a PowerPoint presentation on his computer screen.

This is his promotional report for the new product, prepared for the CES exhibition in Las Vegas, USA, which will be held in two weeks.

CES, or Consumer Electronics Show, is one of the world's largest consumer technology industry events and the preferred platform for major global brands to launch new products. It is held annually in January in Las Vegas.

Their company will also release a new mobile phone called U8800 at the CES conference in 2011.

This is their company's first mid-range phone, a crucial step in their transformation from low-end OEM manufacturing to an independent brand, and it also embodies the company's hope to gain a foothold in the global mobile phone market.

Therefore, everyone in the company attaches great importance to this.

Tomorrow, he will present this U8800 brand promotion plan for the European and American markets to the head of the mobile phone business group.

He heard that not only the mobile phone business group, but even higher-level group leaders might come. This forced him to be extra cautious, fearing that something might go wrong, so he worked overtime until this point.

However, since he joined this company, has he ever worked overtime a single day of the year? His wife and children are probably used to it by now. In any case, all complaints are silenced by the numbers on his monthly paycheck.

Li Yaoming rubbed his temples, picked up the coffee cup on the table, took a sip, and frowned slightly—the coffee had gone cold. Just as he was about to get up to get a cup of hot water from the tea room, the phone on the table suddenly rang.

Li Yaoming glanced at the caller ID; it was an unfamiliar number, but he answered anyway: "Hello."

A crisp voice came from the other end of the phone: "Hello, is this Manager Li Yaoming?"

"Yes, that's me. Who are you?"

"I'm from Beijing Renewal Company, and my name is Gulnazar."

The woman's voice on the phone carried a hint of pride, which sounded somewhat familiar to Li Yaoming. People from his company often used this tone when discussing business, referring to themselves as coming from xx.

However, he had never heard of Huanxin Company before. He could assure him that it was definitely not a company in their industry or a well-known company in the field, which seemed quite contradictory to the girl's tone.

And the name Gulnazar... well, she must be Uyghur.

Despite his various doubts, Li Yaoming skillfully concealed them, smiling and pretending to be very familiar with the company, saying, "Oh, so this is Huanxin Company. Ms. Gulnazar, right? May I ask what brings you here?"

"Well, I just checked and I heard that your company is about to launch a new mobile phone, so I wanted to contact you to ask if you'd like to advertise it?"

When Li Yaoming suddenly realized what was happening, he frowned to himself.

It's not surprising that advertising companies call him.

Strangely, in his more than ten years in the industry and countless interactions with various advertisers, what professional advertising agency's salesperson would speak like that?

What, are you guys trying to advertise?

That's unprofessional, so unprofessional.

His first reaction was that he didn't want to say anything more and wanted to hang up the phone.

But just before hanging up, Li Yaoming hesitated again, because the Uyghur girl named Gulnazar had a nice voice, which gave him some relief from the stress of the PowerPoint presentation.

Finally, he patiently said, "Yes, we do have relevant promotional plans. However, unfortunately, we are not planning to do domestic advertising at the moment; we are currently preparing to target overseas markets."

Li Yaoming was not lying.

The U8800 will be released in China in the second half of the year. Their company has already reached a cooperation agreement with China Unicom, and will follow the example of the iPhone 4 by becoming a contract phone for Unicom. Unicom will handle the promotion, so they don't need to worry about it much.

He originally thought his words would make the other party back down, but to his surprise, the young girl on the other end of the phone said happily, "Then that's right, Manager Li. I'm here to talk to you about overseas promotion."

Li Yaoming smiled silently, a little skeptical. "Oh? Then may I ask which countries you can promote to?"

"Which countries? Just a moment, Manager Li, let me check."

The voice paused for a moment, then Li Yaoming heard the sound of a keyboard on the other end; clearly, the girl was looking something up on the computer.

It's ridiculous, but now that things have come to this, Li Yaoming isn't in a hurry anymore. He picked up the cup of cold coffee and slowly sipped it.

after awhile,

The voice came back, as if reading from a product manual: "It covers a total of 225 countries and regions worldwide..."

"puff."

Li Yaoming suddenly spat out the coffee in his mouth.

"Cough cough cough."

It took me a long time to recover from coughing.

At this point, even the most pleasant voice couldn't stop Li Yaoming from continuing.

Because this is fucking ridiculous, this is definitely a scammer, and a scammer who treats him like an idiot.

"A total of 225 countries and regions? Are you the Oscars?" Li Yaoming said, and before anyone could reply, he clicked the phone down and got up to make coffee.

But when he returned, the phone on the table was still ringing incessantly.

Li Yaoming was speechless and had no choice but to pick up the phone again.

Sure enough, it was that same female scammer calling again.

"Manager Li, why did your connection drop?"

Judging from the woman's ignorant tone, Li Yaoming thought she was either a shrewd con artist pretending to be young, or a girl who was probably just over 18 years old and was so ignorant that she didn't understand any social etiquette.

But he felt the former was almost 99% likely.

He immediately replied irritably, "I hung up. So what?"

"Huh? Why? Don't you want to cooperate?"

"What the hell? What are they cooperating with?"

"Oscar, didn't you already know?"

"Hahahahahahahahaha." Li Yaoming hadn't laughed like this in a long time. He laughed so hard that tears were almost streaming down his face. Between laughs, he said, "Oscars? Hahahaha, Oscars, which country's Oscars? I'm impressed, hahahaha. I just said Oscars, and you really became Oscars, right?"

The girl's voice sounded a little anxious, which Li Yaoming interpreted as panic after being exposed.

"No, what are you laughing at, Manager Li? I'm from Huanxin Company, it's like the Oscars in America, wouldn't you like to advertise in it?"

Li Yaoming was laughing so hard his stomach hurt. He thought the swindler was just too cute and wondered which scam company would send such a novice swindler out to cheat people.

What kind of people are the ones who can be fooled by her?

I guess only Chef Fan can do it. Seven monkeys riding in the tree, one monkey on the ground, how many monkeys are there in total?

He recalled a scam text message he had recently seen online and couldn't help but laugh, saying, "You're Oscar? If you're Oscar, then I'm Qin Shi Huang."

This offhand joke caused Li Yaoming to regret it for a very long time afterward.

From then on, he had a new nickname at the company.

Moreover, it was Ren Zhengfei who shouted it out at the company's year-end internal summary meeting, which immediately made his name as Qin Shi Huang resound throughout Huawei.

Ps:

Bonus chapter for 2000 monthly votes.

(End of this chapter)