Annual Ceremony

An urgent letter came from Jinling, containing the news that Yang Jinniang was seriously ill.

Feeling that she was not able to react in time, Zhenyi hesitantly followed her elders on the journey home.

During the two years of her long journey, every letter sent back to Nanjing would contain Zhenyi's concerned inquiries about her mother's health, and Yang Jinniang's replies would always be filled with words like "everything is fine", "although there are some minor ailments, they are not a big deal", "the conditioning prescriptions have been used all the time, no need to worry", and so on.

Not only did Yang Jinniang say this in her letters home, but everyone in the Wang family in Jinling also said so. She had always been weak and sickly, but she was very patient, so except for Mother Zhao who served her closely, no one noticed the actual changes in her condition.

Yang Jinniang was always afraid of "causing trouble" to her family, and because she was concerned that Zhenyi would soon be married, she was determined to hide her illness and endure it for as long as possible...

This time I wrote to Jilin because I finally couldn't hold it in any longer and couldn't hide it anymore.

This was the most hurried journey home in Zhenyi's memory. The scenery along the way was rapidly receding, and all that could be seen were the dead leaves falling all over the sky during the Cold Dew season.

The rolling wheels crushed the fallen leaves on the road. Just as one layer was crushed, the autumn wind quickly added another layer.

On the sickbed, the camel-colored cotton quilt looked like newly covered with yellow fallen leaves, and Yang Jinniang under the quilt was like the layer of crushed leaves underneath, thin, dry, cracked, and about to break.

Zhenyi had followed her father in practicing medicine for a long time and had seen patients described in this way before. She knew very well what this meant...

The luck she had used to comfort herself on the way all collapsed at this moment. Zhenyi, who was exhausted and didn't care about her manners at all, ran into the house first and burst into tears. She knelt beside the couch and held her mother's trembling hand with both hands. She called out "mother" again and again, and her tone soaked with tears revealed a helpless and panicked plea:

"Mother, it is Zhen'er who is unfilial. It is all Zhen'er's fault... Please scold me and punish me!"

“Silly Zhen’er, my silly Zhen’er…” Tears seeped out of Yang Jin’s dry eyes, and her hoarse voice broke in and out: “Mother had thought that she would hold on until next year to see you off, but who knew that this body would be so disappointing… Mother was unable to save up a decent dowry for you, nor was she able to find a brother to support you. Now I have to delay your marriage. I am really the most useless mother in the world…”

Zhenyi shook her head with tears in her eyes. Seeing her mother's emotions fluctuating due to self-blame and her breathing becoming increasingly uneven, she hurriedly stopped her mother from saying any more and rubbed her back in panic.

With her vision blurred, she saw Wang Xichen's figure. Yang Jinniang tried her best to support her upper body, as if she wanted to welcome her husband home as she did in the past, but she could no longer do it.

She could only choke and call out "Second Master", holding onto his outstretched arm, and said with tears in her eyes: "I am sorry to you, Second Master..."

"I originally didn't have the face to see you again... I am holding on to this foul breath because I have something I want you to agree to..."

"There's no need to ask for anything between husband and wife..." Wang Xichen supported his wife and let her lean on his arms. His eyes were red and he could only say, "You say it, and I agree to it!"

Yang Jinniang said, "After I die, please make sure to marry a virtuous wife... It's my fault that I failed to continue your family line. A good man like you must not be childless. I have let you down, so I only ask you not to let yourself down again..."

Wang Xichen suddenly burst into tears and rested his forehead on his wife's hair: "Jinniang, what nonsense are you talking about..."

“No, Second Master, you must promise me…” Yang Jinniang tightly grasped her husband’s clothes, her dry branch-like fingers seemed to be embedded in his flesh and blood, just like her prayer: “Otherwise, I will not be able to rest in peace even after death, and it will be difficult for me to reincarnate!”

She looked up at her husband with difficulty, her eyes filled with guilt. Rather than guilt, it was more like sin - she seemed to have committed an unforgivable sin, and only if her husband nodded could she see the possibility of this sin being forgiven and she could be redeemed.

Wang Xichen hugged his wife tightly, and finally nodded with tears in his eyes: "Don't worry, don't worry..."

Yang Jinniang's fingers, which were clutching her husband's clothes, finally relaxed, and a smile of relief and gratitude appeared on the corners of her mouth. That smile was as illusory as a flower in a mirror. Soon, the flower in the mirror withered, and the magic mirror shattered. The dead flowers bid farewell to the dead, and the fragments of the magic mirror cut the living.

Yang Jinniang passed away just like that.

Juzi stood at the door and watched Yang Jinniang leave.

Orange couldn't help but recall that since the first time he saw Yang Jinniang, she was lying on this bed. At that time, she had just given birth to Zhenyi and had been in confinement for a very long time. Orange also thought that humans were really fragile.

Later, Yang Jinniang became pregnant again. Having witnessed the difficult birth, Juzi could no longer make ignorant and fearless remarks about humans being too fragile. On the contrary, he felt that humans who gave birth in this way were terribly strong. Yang Jinniang, who had survived the ordeal, was eager to promise to have another child after she recovered.

Afterwards, Yang Jinniang kept her word and gave birth to Jingyi. That premature birth was said to be very dangerous, but in this matter, the timid Yang Jinniang seemed to have never felt afraid.

Recalling this now, Juzi suddenly realized that Yang Jinniang had spent her entire life either giving birth to children or preparing for having children.

So, Juzi thought of the mountain that the old lady had told Zhenyi about, which weighed on women. Thinking about it now, childbirth seemed to occupy most of the mountain - and Yang Jinniang, this extremely weak woman who treated herself extremely cruelly, was finally crushed by this mountain. She was flattened like a rotten leaf and never struggled until her death.

Although Yang Jinniang was pitiful, Juzi felt that her departure was a kind of relief. If one could see the souls of dead people, Yang Jinniang would surely be feeling light at this moment.

At the end of the Cold Dew Festival, the bunch of yellow chrysanthemums blooming in the corner of the courtyard is the brightest color in the entire autumn. As the autumn wind blows, the faint fragrance of chrysanthemums floats in the air, as if bidding farewell to the hostess of this courtyard.

Zhenyi only cried loudly on that day. With the passing of her mother, all the trivial matters of the funeral, as well as the affairs in the second house courtyard that were previously handled by her mother, suddenly and naturally shifted to Zhenyi's shoulders.

In addition, there was the frightened Jingyi. The five or six-year-old child had only a vague understanding of death, and she cried for her mother every day, especially after dark and before going to bed.

Only after losing her mother did she truly realize what it meant that an elder sister is like a mother. Zhenyi was busy with other things during the day, and at night she comforted her younger sister and fell asleep while hugging Jingyi, who was as frightened as a little animal.

On the seventh night, Jingyi cried again, but was finally calmed down by Zhenyi, who held her in her arms and patted her gently.

Cold Dew had passed, and the night was cold, but Jingyi was weak, and after crying, she was sweating all over. Zhenyi took the quilt to wrap up her still sobbing younger sister, and hugged her tightly. Zhenyi patted her younger sister and gently rested her chin on the top of her sister's head. Suddenly, she thought, my sister is weak and irritable. Did my mother often hold my sister like this in the past, and also rest her chin on the top of her sister's head? Of course, so this soft hair clearly still has traces of my mother's breath.

The emergence of this thought blew open the door that Zhenyi had closed, and the longing hidden behind the door suddenly rushed out and turned into a tide of tears.

Zhenyi was afraid that her tears would fall on her sister, so she quickly turned her face away. She couldn't free her hands to wipe away the tears, so they could only flow down her cheeks until a furry head came close to her.

Orange placed his two soft front paws on Zhenyi's shoulders and used his head to wipe away Zhenyi's tears, while making a purring sound - in addition to feeling comfortable, cats also make such sounds when they are injured or in pain, and this frequency of vibration can have a certain soothing and healing effect.

Orange's snoring therapy method really worked. Zhenyi soon stopped crying and even laughed. Although she felt a little funny because Orange rubbed her face with cat hair, it did not stop Orange from lying on his side with satisfaction, slowly wagging his tail proudly from time to time and continuing to snoring.

At night, Jingyi had a nightmare and was sobbing. Juzi jumped to her side, raised one of his front paws and gently placed it on the girl's forehead. Jingyi seemed to be comforted, and her sobbing slowly stopped. As soon as Juzi lifted his paw away, Jingyi sobbed again. Juzi quickly put the paw back, and Jingyi became quiet again... After doing this again and again, Juzi, who had been playing with children and had always worked, felt that he seemed to have mastered some incredible acupoint-pressing skills.

On a night in late autumn, a ray of moonlight squeezed in through the cracks in the window lattice. A big orange cat lay at the head of the bed, and together with the moonlight, it watched over this cottage and the two girls, one big and one small, who lived in this cottage.

This late autumn, the Wang family was busy dealing with Yang Jinniang's funeral. In addition, Wang Jie still failed to pass the imperial examination this autumn, which cast a layer of frustration on the hearts of everyone in the Wang family.

Wang Jie had achieved the title of scholar when he was young, but this year he was over twenty and had failed the imperial examination three times. The hopeful eyes he had in the past turned into deep sighs, making him so ashamed that he dared not look up, let alone collapse.

Wang Jie locked himself in his room and spent all his time in self-reflection and reading.

On this day, Zhenyi knocked on her second brother's door which had been closed for many days, and brought the letter left by Chen Ningtian.

Chen Ningtian's handwriting was elegant and fresh, and the few words that revealed her true feelings showed her determination to risk everything on one throw. It was like a vow, and also like a request - asking him to come and propose marriage. She didn't care whether he could pass the imperial examination or not. As long as he was willing to ask, she would try to get his family to agree. As long as he asked...

Wang Jie lowered his head to read the letter, half of his face submerged in light and shadow, and the knuckles of his slender fingers holding the edge of the letter had turned white at some point.

After an unknown amount of time, or how many times he had read those lines, he finally handed the letter back to Zhenyi, and said in a calm and hoarse voice: "The words in this letter are detrimental to a woman's reputation. This letter... please destroy it, my second sister."

Zhenyi held the letter and couldn't help but look up: "Second brother..."

"A moth flies into a flame without caring whether it will be burned or not. It is certainly courageous..." Wang Jie tilted his head slightly and looked at the cold candle on the desk: "But the fire can't help but not care. It doesn't want to become the evil flame that devours the moth, and use this moment of brightness to trick the moth into flying into the grave."

Moreover, this fire also has self-esteem. His self-esteem not only belongs to him, but also to his family. He cannot accept that his family will be despised and picked on. The Chen family may reluctantly nod and agree for the sake of decency and the friendship between the two families, but marriage is a good relationship between two families, and it should not be the humble begging of one party and the helpless charity of the other party.

Now that things have come to this, it is his incompetence that makes him shouldn't selfishly drag both families into this awkward situation and drag her into his uncertain future.

It was still early and the morning mist had not yet dissipated. The courtyard was covered in white. The spider webs hanging on the inner corners of the eaves under the corridor were also covered with a layer of cold dew and frost. When the wind blew, the spider webs trembled, shaking off a few grains of old dust.

When Zhenyi was staring at the spider web in a daze in the corridor, a figure walked out of the white mist and called softly, "Second sister."

Zhenyi looked over and saw that it was her older sister.

This was the second time Zhenyi saw her elder sister after returning to Jinling.

Shuyi walked forward and held her sister's cold hand. She couldn't hide the pain in her eyes, and even blamed her: "...Why do you look thinner than last time? Didn't you promise to eat well? Do you have to make me feel so distressed?"

Hearing her elder sister's gentle and caring voice, Zhenyi felt so touched that tears welled up in her eyes as soon as she blinked her eyelashes.

Shuyi saw this and immediately felt that her words were too harsh. She felt even more distressed. She held her sister's hand with one hand and patted her shoulder with the other hand: "Okay, okay, I won't talk about you anymore... How could Big Sister not know that our Zhen'er is upset? If you have anything to say, tell Big Sister today, okay? Come on, it's foggy outside, let's go inside."

The two sisters went to Shuyi's former embroidery room to talk.

Juzi listened from the side and heard Shuyi caring about her second sister who had lost her mother, about little Jingyi's health, about her brother who had failed the imperial examination, about her parents' mood, about her eldest mother and everyone in the family. However, when Zhenyi asked about her own affairs, she mostly glossed over them in a few words, saying that everything was the same as before and everything was fine.

Shuyi asked about the family matters over and over again, but she hesitated to talk about one thing, for fear of asking something she shouldn't.

What made Shuyi hesitate to speak was the marriage between Zhenyi and the man from the Dong family.

By the winter month, after the two families exchanged letter after letter, the marriage was finally broken up.

The Dong family did not mention the cancellation of the engagement; it was Old Lady Dong who took the initiative to bring it up.

Zhenyi had to observe mourning for her mother for three years, and Dong Xiu's mother firmly believed that her son must get married next year, otherwise he would encounter ten years of bad luck. Although the elders of the Dong family strongly condemned this statement, Dong Xiu's mother did not dare to make a fuss about it. But Mrs. Dong did not want her granddaughter to be stained with such an unclear reputation. If everything went well for Dong Xiu in the future, it would be fine. However, if there were any setbacks, people would be worried.

There is always a need for adjustment in life, and the old lady was prepared to let her granddaughter go in for adjustment, but the adjustment in normal life is to patiently grind away the rough stone on the outside and reveal the beautiful jade on the inside.

In such a situation, no matter how much you try to get along, prejudice and suspicion will only sharpen the stubborn stone into a sword that can kill people.

In the middle of winter, it snowed in Jinling City. Old Mrs. Dong sat at the head of the bed and sighed: "Man proposes, God disposes... We are not destined to be together, so we can't force it." (End of this chapter)