[Football] Bad Boy Batty

[According to reliable sources, on October 10, local time, Manchester City star Aguero and teammate Batistuta were involved in a serious car accident in the Netherlands. Their injuries are not yet known... The two had just finished a game with the team. After the accident, a reporter took photos of the two being sent to the hospital for examination. The photos showed that the two were seriously injured and could not stand or walk...] - From Daily Sports

Batty took the last bite of the apple and threw the core at the TV's power button. As the remains fell to the ground, the TV screen went completely black.

De Bruyne, who was sitting in a chair next to him reading a magazine, gave him a reproachful look. "Don't do that, the apples are hard to clean," he said.

"Whose fault is that? You heard it, it's only been less than 24 hours and the newspapers are already making up stories." Batty scratched his neck, not thinking he did anything wrong. "If I hadn't only had half an apple in my hand, I would have hit it with a stone."

"TV is innocent." De Bruyne closed the magazine, threw the apple core into the trash can, cleaned the floor, and then went to the bed and took a tissue to wipe Batistuta's mouth.

There was a sound of footsteps, and Aguero appeared at the door. He looked at the two people in the room with a sweet face, "Oh - Kevin's mother and his baby, I hope I didn't disturb anything."

Batistuta rolled his eyes, "You actually ruined everything." He deliberately said, "Get out of my sight, you annoying guy." Looking at his Argentine partner who was already able to walk freely, he showed a slightly jealous expression, and then gave Aguero a middle finger.

Aguero shrugged: "It's not my fault that I have a good physique."

They are no longer in the Netherlands. Last night, Manchester City Club and Batistuta's lawyer (Lucy) contacted the hospital and helped them transfer after understanding the injury. They flew back to Manchester two hours ago.

Aguero was barely injured, and his results were very positive, with even the doctor who handed him the report praising him as "strong as an ox". Batistuta's results were not so good, in comparison, as he had a mild concussion, was diagnosed with bruised ribs, and a shoulder contusion, and Guardiola almost sent him to Barcelona for treatment. (Guardiola has a very trusted doctor in Barcelona)

"Honestly, we were in the same car accident, why didn't you get affected at all?" Batistuta frowned and questioned Aguero, "You damn robot, tell me, where did you hide the real Kun?"

Aguero raised his hands to show his innocence, and then cooperated by lifting his shirt. "Look, my belly button is here. I am a person, not a machine." He said, "As for why I am in such good health, you have to ask my mother."

Batty made a face at him, and the two continued to argue about the car accident. At this time, Loach rushed in. The black boy came to Batty's bedside crying, crossed his fingers and clenched them, and knelt down in a posture similar to confession in church.

"This is all my fault! I will never leave you again, Buddy! Car accident, what a fucking hell!" He choked, "Thank God you're okay, I can't - I swear I'll stick with you from now on, no one can pull me away, no one!"

De Bruyne and Aguero were quite surprised by Loach's exaggerated behavior, but Batistuta seemed to be used to it. He patted Loach's head. Those black curls felt very good, just like a newborn lamb. "You should be glad that you didn't go with us, otherwise your body would be on the passenger seat." Batistuta said cheerfully, "Where's your girlfriend who only eats grass? Why can't I see her? Is it because I eat meat that she hopes I'll die?"

This was a bit of an exaggeration, but Batty did not regret it. He really did not like the fact that Niu Qiu had a typical white left-wing girlfriend. The fact that she did not ask him to break up showed that she treated him as a family member.

Loach didn't say anything to refute Batty, but just looked up and glared at him. "Next time you are going to tell me where you are going, and I will make all the preparations for you." He said, "From now on, we will return to the previous mode, whether you like it or not."

"What??"

"You heard me."

"No - I'm your boss and you should listen to me. I don't want that nanny who follows me around all day and tells me to eat more vegetables and pay attention to my image to come back!" Batty jumped up on the bed in an exaggerated manner, then pointed at Loach with a pillow, "I order you to have a relationship now. You are not my mother, so leave me alone."

Loach shook his head solemnly, then picked up another pillow from the side and confronted Batty. For a moment, feathers flew in the ward.

Aguero walked sideways to De Bruyne like a crab and nudged him with his elbow. "It seems that there is a reason for the exaggeration of the loach. When two people stay together for a long time, they will really affect each other."

De Bruyne remained noncommittal.

Just as the fighting was intensifying, the door suddenly opened, and Guardiola with an angry face appeared in front of everyone with his arms folded. The air froze for a moment, but as a feather fell on his bald head, the atmosphere suddenly became relaxed again.

"Hi, Pep, how are you doing recently? Have you come up with any new tactics?" Batty sat down with his pillow in his arms, waved to the head coach with a bright smile.

"... No, not at all, because there's a little bastard who always makes me angry." Guardiola rubbed his stubble with a headache, then exhaled and said to Batistuta: "I had prepared a lot of reasons to educate you, but now I don't want to do that. In order to live a few more years, boy, I'm informing you now-you are grounded."

Batty was stunned.

"What did you say?" he asked uncertainly.

"That's right, you are grounded. I have read your medical report. In addition to the injuries caused by the car accident, there are some other hidden dangers, so I will not put you on the roster until November." Guardiola snorted with relief. "During this period, you must eat well and exercise, strictly follow the requirements, and no partying is allowed. I will check on you at any time."

Batty was stunned.

"You have no right to do this! Mr. Guardiola!" He raised his voice and said, "You are not my father. I accept the matter of the squad. You are the head coach and you have the final say, but do you want to completely interfere in my life? I tell you, no way!"

Even 'Pep' was no longer the name. Aguero and De Bruyne looked at each other nervously. But Guardiola seemed to be fearless. He straightened his collar and slowly took out his phone from his pocket.

"I have permission," he said.

Batty: “FROM WHO???”

Guardiola: "Your godfather."

Boom!

Batistuta was retorted by this remark. A few seconds later, he frowned at the head coach in doubt.

"What evidence do you have?" he asked.

Guardiola pulled up a video and showed it to Batistuta on his phone. It was a video that Edmundo had recorded specifically for him.

"Your godfather called me. He knows about your car accident, but he's busy with a new movie and doesn't have time to come over, so he asked me to take care of you." The head coach said with a fatherly smile, "Watch this video. If you still don't believe it, you can call him and he'll tell you."

"...He called you specifically but didn't come to see me." Batistuta took Guardiola's mobile phone and watched the video that the Godfather gave him. He fell into a depressed mood. Guardiola patted his shoulder with satisfaction, then turned to face Aguero.

The big thing is bad!

Aguero's scalp tightened.

"What's the matter, Pep?" he asked stiffly, his tongue numb.

"No." Guardiola still looked like a loving father. "I'm glad you're okay, Kun. You won't miss any games. Go to the training ground the day after tomorrow. We are preparing for Chelsea."

This sentence automatically translated into Aguero's ears:

"I heard that going to Holland was your idea and you were grounded, Kun. If I find out that you are running around with Batty and getting yourself or him hurt, you know the consequences."

Seeing Guardiola patting Aguero on the shoulder and going to talk to Batistuta about his godfather, the Argentine striker looked for help at De Bruyne who had nothing to do with it.

De Bruyne said it was none of his business, and even if it was, he couldn't do anything about it.

Aguero: …

Why is he always the unlucky one?
……

英国时间10月7日下午，2017-18赛季英超第7轮的焦点战在斯坦福桥球场展开角逐，曼城做客挑战切尔西。

Batistuta watched the game in the club's lounge with a group of staff.

Before the game, some media pointed out that Guardiola had never won any game at Stamford Bridge, no matter he was the head coach of Barcelona, ​​Bayern Munich or Manchester City. Today, Manchester City lacked the sharp blade Batistuta on the right, and Chelsea had a full lineup. Perhaps Guardiola still could not conquer Stamford Bridge.

"Nonsense, of course we will win the game." Batistuta said, lazily nestling on the sofa, "No team can stop us from breaking Arsenal's winning streak, not Liverpool, not Chelsea."

"You're right, we want to break the record." Sam Eli said. He finally had some free time today. "I'm optimistic that Kevin will score. Chelsea is his old club. They had a pretty unpleasant dispute at that time. Besides, Courtois is still Chelsea's goalkeeper now. He will do his best to win the game."

On the screen, the players were walking from the tunnel to the field, and the camera just happened to be focused on De Bruyne.

"Kevin's departure from Chelsea is a problem with the head coach. He is not dealing with Mourinho, and it has nothing to do with Chelsea football club." Batty retorted, "I agree with what you said about Courtois, but I think the one who will score today will be Kun - Hey, Phil, stop practicing and come and watch the game with us."

Phil Foden, who was passing by, paused and said, "No, it's not possible." He didn't train today and didn't watch the game because he had cultural classes to attend.

"Come here, don't make me call you again." Batistuta waved at him, "It's time to start. We are guessing who will score today. What do you think?"

Foden thought about it and finally chose Batistuta over the competition. Just a few minutes after he sat down on the sofa, Batistuta found a comfortable position and leaned over. Foden felt a little uncomfortable, and then took a glass of vegetable milkshake and drank it slowly to cover himself up.

"Let me ask you, who do you think can score a goal today?" Sam asked.

"Well, I don't know," Foden's brain and tongue melted together by the rapidly rising temperature, "Maybe-"

Before he could finish his words, Manchester City scored a goal, and the scorer was Kevin De Bruyne.

Sterling passed the ball back from the right, Aguero drew the attention of two defenders, and the Belgian midfielder made a beautiful arcing shot from 25 yards, the white football spun straight into the dead corner, and Courtois was out of reach.

"Ohhhh! Kevin!" Batty jumped up. "A world-class goal, beautiful!"

Sam nodded in satisfaction: "I told you this kid could score today."

"Hey, everyone, look! What is Kevin going to do?" Someone pointed at the screen. "Is his boring goal celebration finally going to change?"

Batty stood on the sofa and looked over.

De Bruyne ran to the sidelines and held up a jersey that seemed to have been prepared long ago, with the number 9, Batistuta, printed on it.

'Wait for you to come back.'

When seeing De Bruyne lip-syncing this sentence to the camera, Batistuta had already thought about what tricks they would play next time.

"He's so sweet." Batty blew a kiss to the TV screen.

Foden next to him felt his shoulder losing its temperature, looked at Batistuta, and then looked at the replay of De Bruyne's goal on the screen.

One day he will score a beautiful goal like this, and the cheers will belong to him. …

Beat everyone and you are the best.

Manchester City this season perfectly illustrates this sentence. After 7 league rounds, they topped the list with 21 points and 38 goals, far ahead of other teams.

At the end of October, Manchester is about to enter winter, the temperature is getting lower, and people put short-sleeved shirts in the closet and put on thicker windbreakers. The Premier League has reached the 10th round, and Manchester City still has a perfect record, leading the standings with 10 points, but due to Batistuta's absence, the efficiency of scoring has decreased, and Kane has caught up with the scorer list, and now it has dropped to 30th place.

But it’s not a big problem. Batistuta will return soon and Manchester City will usher in another wave of goals.

But before that, they still have a festival to celebrate.

"Don't play silly pranks on me, or I'll make you regret it." After the last day of training before Halloween, Batty found Kyle Walker and warned him, "And jump scare is bad. If you want to scare me, be prepared to get beaten."

Kyle Walker waved his hands. "Your glare at me has no deterrent effect, dear Batty, I'm serious." He said, "Since it's Halloween, it must be something scary, and - I really want to know how you will make me regret it."

"Once you find out there's depilatory cream in your shampoo and beeswax in your body lotion, you won't find it interesting anymore." Batty crossed his arms and sneered. He stroked his still pink hair and said, "They call me BBB for a reason. If you dare to offend me, I'll let you taste the bullying of South America."

Everyone in the club knew that Battie had a bad temper and was very good at fighting, but with such an innocent face, he had no deterrent power. Walker shook his head nonchalantly and made a provocative hook to Battie.

"Hiss—" Batty gave him two middle fingers, then put on his bag and strode out of the locker room. "If you don't believe me, try it."

As soon as he closed the door and turned around, Sam Eli suddenly appeared, and Batty almost couldn't hold back his fist.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked angrily.

The translator said nothing, but dragged Batty to a corner mysteriously, then smiled strangely: "This is very important."

"You're laughing like a psychopath who's using candy to kidnap children." Batty commented mercilessly, "What's the matter? Tell me now. I have to go home and prepare for Halloween. I have an appointment with Kevin."

SAM: ...

"Don't say that to me. I'm just a little excited." Sam said helplessly. Batty impatiently tapped his feet, so the translator sped up and said, "To make a long story short, tomorrow is Halloween, and the club plans to shoot a special show that fits the atmosphere."

Batty: So what?

"So, I need your cooperation." Sam took out a monster mask from his bag. "According to an online survey, people like frightening shots the most. Come early tomorrow morning and get ready on the top floor. When others go up, you can suddenly jump out and scare them. There will be a photographer to follow and film their reactions the whole time."

Batty raised an eyebrow, paused and said, "Why should I come?"

"I thought you would like it, and you have the most fans in the club." Sam Eli said. Seeing that Batty didn't say anything, he shrugged and said, "Forget it, I won't force you. If you don't want to do it, I'll find someone else. Walker is also very popular."

As he said this, he was about to walk past Batty towards the locker room.

"Come back. I didn't say no." Batty got angry when he heard Kyle Walker's name. He reached out to pull Sam back to his eyes, then snatched the monster mask. "I will cooperate with you to shoot that stupid video, but I have a condition."

Sam nodded: "You go ahead."

"In addition to the photographer, I also need more hidden shots." Batty said, raising his chin proudly, "I want to take all-round shots of Kyle and other cowards, and then select the most beautiful frame and frame it and hang it in the locker room."

This idea is quite vicious.

Sam couldn't help laughing.

This kid never expected that this was equivalent to digging a big hole for himself.

"Sure, no problem." The translator smiled meaningfully and said, "Good luck tomorrow."

……

Manchester City did plan to make a collection of scare videos, but what Batistuta didn't know was that everyone had received the same task - to scare others.

The only difference was the time they arrived at the club on Halloween morning.

At 8 o'clock in the morning, Loach drove Batistuta to the Etihad training ground. In recent times, the black boy has kept his word and really followed him as his little brother and nanny like before.

"Go to the locker room and put my bag there for me." Batty threw the backpack containing his and De Bruyne's cosplay costumes to Loach and sent him away very naturally. "I have to go to the meeting room. Pep wants to see me for something."

Yes, he didn’t even tell Loach that he was going to dress up as a ghost to scare people.

"Okay." Loach nodded, not noticing anything unusual. "The analysis meeting should be at 9 o'clock, right?"

"uh-huh."

"Then I'll go to the restaurant and prepare some food for us, and then I'll come find you." Loach threw his backpack on his back and wrinkled his nose at Batty. "Don't be picky about food today. You have to eat whatever I give you, or I'll tell your head coach."

When he thought about the other party being so scared that his expression would go out of control, Batty felt sincerely sorry and decided to be nice to Loach.

"I know." He said, "I won't be picky about food today, I promise you."

Loach was a little surprised. He didn't expect Batty to be so cooperative. "What are you planning?" he asked.

"No, I'm just a little hungry, go ahead."

Batty pushed Loach to urge him. The black boy looked at him suspiciously for a while, but didn't find anything wrong. He left doubtfully. As soon as he left, Batty immediately turned around, took out his mask and went up to the top floor.

'Sorry, guys, I'm about to catch each of you by the hair,' he thought.

only--

Something seemed to be going wrong.

The top floor was dark, with no lights or natural light. Someone had drawn all the curtains before leaving. Batty tried to turn on the light, but there was no response after pressing the switch several times.

What are you doing?
Batty stood in the darkness with his arms folded and blinked.

Did he read the time wrong? He took out his phone and saw it was just five minutes past eight. The time was correct.

Photographer Anna didn’t come either. Did they forget about this?
Or did I get the wrong floor?

Something doesn't feel right.

Batty vaguely grasped the edge, but before he could fully react, a strange laugh reached his ears -

"Ahahahaha!! I'm going to tear you into pieces!"

He turned around, and a clown with sharp teeth, a tattered body and blood, staring with scarlet eyes and laughing ferociously, jumped out of the darkness onto Batty's face.

"Aaaaaaaaaaa!"

All the blood in Batti's body froze, his heartbeat instantly soared to 180, and he could hear nothing in his ears, which were completely filled with his own breathing and screams.

then.

Almost at the same second, he subconsciously punched the clown in the face.

"Get away!!!"

[puff--]
Slow-motion replay showed that the actor who played the clown was knocked to the ground by Batty's punch. The heavy mask made him fall backwards in a funny posture like in some Disney cartoon, and he even slid back a short distance on the floor.

The confused clown sat on the ground, with the mask hanging crookedly on his neck. For some reason, there was a hint of pity on that eerie face.

Immediately afterwards, a painful groan came from under his hood.

"My nose! Hiss! It's bleeding! Barty, you hit me so hard, God! I can't feel my lips."

Batty was still in shock, but he remained in a defensive posture. As his heartbeat gradually recovered, he could hear some sounds, and the chattering clown sounded more and more familiar.

Just before Batty could find out the truth from the list of people in his memory, the Joker took off his mask, revealing a normal human face underneath.

Bernardo Silva.

"Jesus, I have to offer my nose for a video, that's too bad, don't ask me to do that next time," he muttered.

"Bernardo?" Batty's eyes widened. "How do you know I hate clowns?"

"I don't know... Hey, you're really strong, Barty. My nose is bleeding." Seat B complained while looking for a tissue to plug his nose. "Really, I shouldn't have agreed to do this with Sam. You... wait!"

The Portuguese midfielder paused, then looked at Batistuta in surprise: "You are afraid of clowns!"

Batty: ...

Oh good, now everyone knows he hates clowns.

(End of this chapter)