[Football] Bad Boy Batty

[Forum - Manchester City's King was robbed while on vacation, the guard dog helped the thief and seriously injured him, and he wanted to sue Batistuta for excessive self-defense]

1
(Doraemon is shocked.jpg)

2
Are all the news about Manchester City so outrageous?
3
Too explosive
4
Good guy, the thief turned the tables and sued BBB for excessive self-defense. If he wins the case, BBB will pay him money. No matter how you look at it, he will make money.
5
This wave of thieves in the atmosphere
6
Live in Bengbu (laughing and crying)
7
BBB has been in Mercury retrograde in the past two years. First they lost the America's Cup, then lost the British Triple Crown, and then they broke their bones. After a lot of effort, the fracture healed. Hey, my house was robbed, and the thief bit back.

8
A blessing in disguise, you thought BBB lost, but in fact BBB was trying to save his reputation for the World Cup. He already had a few trophies and a metatarsal bone, and he had to pay a little more money to exchange for the World Cup. BBB won.

9
You guys at Manchester City are really outrageous. The last video I watched was of a player who hadn't had any outstanding performances in one season. He didn't even play in the Champions League final, but he became famous when he celebrated with a shake.

10
Hahahahahaha the shaker is also famous
11
My city seems to like buying nightclub stars in recent years. Except for Ake, they gather at night almost every time they win.

12
Started from BBB
13
I'm in Manchester, and I'll tell you, I often run into BBB outside nightclubs at 4am. Friendly reminder, it's best to ask for BBB's autograph and take a photo while he's drunk, but the handwriting is hard to tell at that time, but he will shake off the bodyguards and actively approach you to get close, and if you're lucky, you can even get a kiss, I've personally tested it
[Photo-2 photos of the host and BBB]
[Photo-BBB kisses the corner of the host's mouth]
[Photo - Drunk BBB's signature looks like a crawling bug]

14
I admire you.
15
BBB is really nice. We are both in Manchester. I met BBB jogging and walking his dog in the morning.
[Photo-BBB was photographed jogging in the morning, waving]
[Photo: BBB’s three guard dogs]

16
The picture above is the dog that bit people in the news. It is usually very well behaved.

17
What the hell, a thief broke into my house to steal things and was bitten by my dog. Do I have to pay compensation?

18
In the UK, it is not necessary. Isn't it said that European and American countries have a strong sense of territory, and it is okay to shoot and kill anyone who breaks in without permission?

19
That's an American specialty, the British probably won't

20
Families, the latest news is that BBB has hired a lawyer!

……

Manchester - Batty's apartment.

"How dare they sue me? I'm the victim! They stole my information and broke into my house when I wasn't at home. My dogs were acting in self-defense. No matter how badly that guy was injured, I shouldn't be asked to pay compensation. I won't give them a penny!"

The next day after learning about the incident, Batistuta took De Bruyne back to Manchester in a hurry and called Lucy, the helper designated by his godfather, to help resolve the matter.

"In theory, it is self-defense. But according to their statements and your surveillance footage, your dog didn't let them go even when they retreated to a territory that didn't belong to you. This gives them a loophole and grounds to sue you." A dark-haired man in a well-tailored suit sitting on the sofa opposite them across a coffee table explained to Batty while holding a folder.

De Bruyne had not seen this man many times, but this was the first time he was less than 5 meters away from him. He was absent-mindedly browsing his phone beside him, while keeping his ears open to keep an eye on what was going on over there.

"God - I called you here to solve this." Barty crossed his legs and fiddled with his hair in annoyance. "Do something, Lucy, at least you have to be worthy of the salary Dudu gave you!"

Ha! Salary?

The devil in a suit laughed twice, his voice full of mockery and teasing, but he stopped quickly because there was no need to explain this to Batty.

"Don't be impatient, boy, there are solutions." Lucy also raised his feet. De Bruyne glanced at him and wiped his leather shoes with his sleeves. He knew in his heart that this man was not someone who followed the rules.

"If we follow the formal process, we can set up obstacles at every stage and delay it as much as possible," the man said. "This lawsuit is very expensive. Unless they use a public prosecutor, they can't afford it."

"I don't understand." Batty said confidently, "Don't use jargon, just tell me the solution."

"God—" the black-haired man rolled his eyes elegantly, "Compared to your godfather, you are just a fool, little fool."

"You insulted me twice with one sentence." Batty raised his middle finger, "I will send a message to Dudu. I hope your bonus will still be there at the end of the year."

bonus?
You have no idea what form his 'bonus' takes.

The black-haired devil wanted to taunt again, but considering that it would make things more complicated, he chose to skip the topic. He cleared his throat and said, "To put it simply - you don't have to do anything. Leave it to me, and I will solve it cleanly."

"You should have said this earlier." Batty made a few irritated nasal sounds. "If you had told me this on the phone, I wouldn't have brought him back so soon."

De Bruyne was a little uncomfortable at being suddenly mentioned, but he relaxed after realizing that it was nothing to the lawyer (let's call him a lawyer) not far away.

"If you want, you can go back with your boyfriend now." Lucy suggested modestly, "But for safety reasons, I don't recommend you leave the UK, because sometimes negotiations require you to be present in person."

Batty frowned: "Do I have to go?"

"You have to go," Lucy said. "This is the shortcoming of procedural justice. It's quite troublesome." He put down the information and leaned back on the sofa. "The law can only protect you to a certain extent. When this is over, they can write a book about how to break into your apartment and get bit by a dog, and make a fortune."

Batty's eyes widened, and his voice could not hide his surprise: "They can still do this?"

"Uh-huh." The man knocked on the armrest of the sofa and smiled at Batty. "Remember when Kim Kardashian was robbed in Paris a few years ago? The robber did this. It is said that his book sales are very good."

"Unbelievable." Batty snorted coldly and crossed his arms. "What else can I do? I mean - I don't want procedural justice. I just want those two thieves to pay the price."

"In that case you'd better call Batman." Lucy made a joke.

Batty responded with a smile that couldn't be more fake.

"I'm serious," he said. "Can we throw them into prison? This is the method I use most often in Brazil. The prisoners are best bribed, followed by the prison guards."

"Have you done this in a Brazilian prison?" De Bruyne couldn't help asking.

"Yeah, when there's internal fighting among gangs." Batty waved his hand to indicate that it was no big deal. "Sometimes the police department needs results and we need to deal with traitors. It's a win-win situation."

After saying that, he looked at the man again: "Can you do it?"

"Of course, as long as you want." Lucy seemed very satisfied with Batty's choice of non-procedural justice. "Go ahead and have fun. I will help you solve everything. You will see the result the day after tomorrow at the latest."

……

Batistuta had great confidence in Lucien Favre's abilities. After making sure that he didn't have to worry about it anymore, Batistuta drove De Bruyne back to his house in Manchester.

If this unfortunate incident hadn't happened, they should have spent the night in a small town in Belgium (he didn't remember the name of Kevin's hometown), maybe they could have visited someone's room when they lived in adolescence and have sex or something.

Although it’s not too late to go now, the atmosphere is different after all.

Soon they arrived at the finish line. Batistuta parked the car in the garage, then grabbed De Bruyne's collar one second before he got out of the car, and with a little effort he pulled him back into the car.

"Bati?" De Bruyne looked over in confusion.

Batistuta did not make any response. Under the puzzled gaze of the Belgian midfielder, he unbuckled his seat belt, then supported himself by the backrest of the driver's seat and rolled over.

"Varied……"

Before De Bruyne could react, the scene in front of him was replaced by the pattern on Batistuta's T-shirt, which was a black cat wearing sunglasses, looking very cool. The sudden closeness made De Bruyne lean back subconsciously, and at the same time reached out to the side to adjust the passenger seat to the maximum. "What do you want to do?" he asked, looking up.

Batty spread his knees as wide as possible and rested them on the relatively soft backrest of the passenger seat. Then he stretched his back, raised his hands and supported them on the roof, adjusting them up and down at the same time so that the two of them could be closer in a more comfortable way in the limited space in the car.

"What else can I do?" The Manchester City king pressed De Bruyne's beating heart through the fabric of his shirt, lowered his head, put his lips close to his temples and transmitted his words and breath to him, "I am - making it up to you."

He knew that this trip to Belgium was an opportunity for the other party to be alone, created deliberately by the other party, and was also intended to satisfy him, but the trip was really not smooth. Every time they wanted to do something or the atmosphere was just right, there would be annoying guys jumping out to disrupt the situation. After finally getting back on track, there would be this thief incident again.

and so.

"Don't you like it, Kevin?" Batty touched his other brain. "Hey, I already have the answer. He's more honest than you."

"Are you sure you want to stay here?" De Bruyne held his waist.

"Why not?" Batty straightened up and leaned back, and with difficulty took out a small bottle from the drawer of the co-pilot seat. "I prepared it specially for you. It's edible and fragrance-free."

"Who was it last time that I complained about the small space in the car and my back and waist ached after work?" De Bruyne pinched his knee and teased, "Do you remember who it was?"

"No." The little king said with a scoundrel look, "It's not me anyway."

The Belgian's smile deepened. "Okay, it's not you. But remember, this was your suggestion. Don't blame me if it hurts later."

"Don't worry," the Manchester City captain said disdainfully, "Even if it hurts like hell, I won't let you hear it."

De Bruyne is skeptical.

But just as he was about to reach out to help the other person fix his clothes, his hand was slapped away by the little king and he was slapped on the jaw.

"Hey!"

"Don't move." Batty said condescendingly, "I said I'm going to compensate you, so just lie down. I'll serve you the whole time today."

"Really?" De Bruyne couldn't believe his ears. "You don't want me to take the initiative?"

"Why, incredible?" Batty fixed his pants, then picked up the bottle of edible unscented liquid and poured it into his hands.

Wait, it seems like there's a step missing.

De Bruyne, feeling the chill, called out to Batistuta: “Did you forget something?”

"What do you mean?" Batty helped him apply the cream slowly and evenly like applying sunscreen. He was equally skilled even on his backhand. After all, he was already very familiar with this big guy and knew every line on it.

"I mean..." De Bruyne tried not to let his other brain take over his thinking. He moistened his throat and said, "That little thing called a condom."

"Oh, that." Batty acted completely unconcerned and kept moving. "We won't use it today."

De Bruyne:!
"You - Batistuta?" The shocked expression of the Belgian midfielder was so funny that Batistuta gave him another kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"Don't make a fuss like a country bumpkin." The little king ran his thumb over his entire lower lip. "I said I'd make it up to you. It's nothing new to do it only in the car."

"But, but——"

"Oh, you're tongue-tied, that's cute." Barty finally helped him apply sunscreen, which was the last step. "Are you ready, Kevin? It's coming!"

As he finished speaking, the distance between the two finally reached an extremely intimate level.

De Bruyne's brain has lost the ability to think.

Of course, here I am referring specifically to the one above.

……

A lot of interesting things happened in the car later, and De Bruyne doesn't remember them clearly, but there are a few fragments that he still retains intact in his memory even after many years.

For example, Barty's skin that melted like honey under the dim light, and the difficult movements due to the lack of condoms, such as the trophy and his name on his back in front of him and his thumb covering his name, and the backs of their hands clasped together on the car window.

Of course, there is also what he remembers most.

That was after he reached the top, and Barty lay there, sighing while making a nice sound: "...God, you're cool."

He asked, "What's cool?"

"Your stuff," Batty said. "I felt it slipping out, so clearly, this is the first time I've ever felt this way since I was inside."

Yes, this is it.

He still remembered that he foolishly asked again: "Haven't you ever felt it before?"

"No," Batty replied. "I've used fake simulations before, but they didn't—"

At this point, he finally realized the true meaning of that sentence. This was the first time for Batistuta.

He allowed him full access and also allowed him release there.

Trying to figure this out made his head hot and confused, and the other part of his brain was about to explode.

And what did he do next?
As most people thought, he jumped up like a madman, tore up the agreement and took over the entire movement, and without saying anything, dragged the little king who was almost asleep from exhaustion to continue.

This is Batty's first time.

Just thinking about this would make his brain explode several times.

"No, Kevin, no—"

He ignored Batty's pleas for mercy, holding his wrist and staring at that place. They had known each other for 6 years, and until this day, he finally had an advantage that others could never catch up with.

The little king didn't understand why he did this, but out of tiredness he finally (was forced to) allow him to do so. If his memory serves him correctly, De Bruyne thought, they probably did it until dawn the next day.

(End of this chapter)