[Football] Bad Boy Batty

【Welcome to the Manchester City Level Challenge program sponsored by BT SPORTS. Let us welcome today's two guests, Batistuta and Phil Foden! 】

Due to the postponement of the League Cup final, after returning from Germany, Manchester City had a rare chance of having nearly a week of free time in April when the schedule was busy with games. So, taking advantage of the break in training that day, Batistuta took Foden to participate in the recording of the club's YouTube program.

The host brought them to a whiteboard, which was divided into several levels from high to low, with the highest being GOAT and the lowest being POOR. There was also a table below with headshots of all Manchester City's first-team players on it.

According to the requirements of the program, the host will give them several questions, such as "Who has the best skills", and Batistuta and Foden will rank everyone according to their ideas.

Host: [First, let's see who stays in the locker room the longest after the game? ]

"Neymar." Batistuta crossed his arms and put Neymar's face on the POOR column without hesitation. "I swear there is no one slower than him. He always wastes time on blowing his hair and looking in the mirror. And he plays music after taking a shower, and then blows his hair and dances while listening to music. Of course, I have no problem with this (listening to music and dancing). Sometimes I do that too. The terrible thing is that the songs he plays are all sloppy songs. The taste is terrible."

It can be seen that he has been resentful of Neymar's music for a long time. The host smiled and looked at Foden.

"The one who's been there the longest, eh - Kevin?" Foden said, unsure. "He's always got to deal with all the interviews and questions. I think he likes being on camera."

"Yes." Batty agreed, "That's why I always give him interviews. I noticed that some people online said it was because I was lazy, but that's not the case. I let him go because Kevin likes it. Now you understand, it's all because of love."

"As for the one who leaves the fastest, it's Ederson." Foden picked up Ederson's face and put it on top.

"Ah! Eddie! That's right!" Batty clapped his hands. "He never stays for even a minute. He goes into the house, takes a shower, grabs his things, and goes out. He never stays on his own initiative. Last time, it happened to be on my playlist, and I called him over before he agreed to stay for a few more minutes to finish the dance with me."

"And Bernardo." Foden pointed to the photo of B Silva with a silly smile on the table, then turned his head to look at Batistuta's profile. "He also walked very fast. Except when celebrating, we didn't see him in the locker room most of the time."

"Because Bernardo never goes to physical therapy." Batty twitched his eyebrows at him. "Of course, it's also possible that he's afraid of being thrown into an ice bath by Kyle. He suffered this loss last season."

Host: What about you two?

"Normally, there's nothing much I can do, not fast or slow," Foden said. "But Batistuta - you should be considered slow, like Neymar, Kevin, and Ruben."

"No, no, I'm not slow." Batty refused to admit this. "I have interview tasks, physical therapy, sometimes I take a 15-minute ice bath, and I have to clean up the lockers, so I don't walk as fast as Eddie and Bernardo."

"You don't need to clean up your closet." Foden touched his nose and added, "Usually after we finish the game, our team will pack up everything for you. If you don't want to take a shower, you can basically just pick up your backpack and go."

“…That’s only rarely the case.”

"Yeah, most of the time you sit there and check your phone for a long time after taking a shower or doing physical therapy. At first I thought you were waiting for someone, but then I found out that you were not." Facing Batistuta's warning eyes, Foden continued to ask, "So what are you doing?"

"...Looking for songs." Batty said slowly, "I need to find the right music, otherwise my ears will protest. Sometimes I also read the news, and sometimes I chat with friends."

After saying that, he gave Foden a look that said, "Just wait, you're done with training today," and then pretended to kick him in the calf as the price for ignoring his warning.

After going through questions like "Who's the funniest?", "Who's most likely to be late?", "Whose celebration is the most creative?", Batistuta and Foden finally got a heavyweight answer.

Host: [Who is the worst dressed and the most out of touch with fashion? ]

On this issue, not only Batistuta and Foden, but almost the entire team chose the same person.

"Bernardo." Batty said affirmatively, "I have never seen anyone with worse taste in clothes than him. He doesn't even meet the standard of POOR. If it is possible--"

He picked up the photo of Seat B, showed it to the camera, and then put it on the ground.

"This is where you should be, Bernardo." Batty smiled sweetly at the camera, "I'm sorry, but this is the truth."

……

"What do you mean by not meeting POOR standards? I know my outfits aren't as fashionable as yours, but they're not that bad."

After lunch, many players gathered in the lounge waiting for the afternoon training. B席 heard from someone what Batistuta said about him on the show, and he started complaining as soon as he came in.

B Seat: "To be fair, is it really that bad?"

"It's true." De Bruyne said mercilessly. He was sitting on the sofa playing a single-player game. Batistuta squeezed next to him and fiddled with the straps of his sweatshirt, swinging his legs back and forth. Hearing B席's complaint, he raised an eyebrow and looked over.

"Those clothes you have don't look like what modern people would wear." Batistuta pointed at the clothes the Portuguese was wearing. "Take a look at this vest, for example. I clearly remember seeing it on an old man on a match day two years ago."

Seat B looked down at the vest on his body. He had been wearing this vest for several years and it was very practical.

“Well, maybe I am,” he shrugged. “I accept that, but I don’t understand why you don’t mention Rodri, who also has terrible taste in clothes.”

"He's a different kind of bad," De Bruyne said bluntly.

"Yes." Batistuta snapped his fingers. "Rodri dresses like a poor student, but that's just his personality. He still doesn't have a formal social media account. Sometimes I can't find him when I post photos and want to tag him. But you're different, Bernardo. You're pretty interesting, but the way you dress - I can't comment on that."

"It's quite interesting. Is that a compliment?"

"of course."

"Well, thank you Batistuta." B Silva was very easy to coax. He scratched his newly cut hair (although it was the same as before) and threw some jellies to Batistuta. "What about Zinchenko? It's hard to judge his dress." "His clothes are not as bad as his music taste." De Bruyne hit the nail on the head again, "He dresses like a young boy. I stopped dressing like that 7 or 8 years ago."

Batty has a different opinion on this.

"I think his musical taste is okay, as long as he doesn't sing it himself," Batistuta said, tugging at De Bruyne's pocket.

"That's because your music taste is not that good," De Bruyne said. "Apart from those annoying nightclub singles, do you listen to anything else?"

"Hey!" Feeling offended, Batistuta found the right position and pinched De Bruyne's chest hard.

"Hmm--did I say something wrong?"

“That’s so wrong!”

De Bruyne grabbed Batistuta's wrist and shoved his hand under his butt to hold him down. Batistuta turned over, pulled his hand back and pressed him down on the sofa. Their coats and several round Manchester City logo pillows were squeezed down, and one of them rolled and rolled until it landed at B's feet.

Seat B picked up the pillow and looked at the two people who were quarreling over there, and the corner of his mouth twitched.

That's enough.

……

After a while, Walker and Zinchenko came to play billiard, and B Silva went over to join them. Batistuta was not interested in billiards but he liked to watch others play, so he sat on the back of the sofa and deliberately pressed De Bruyne's head to look in that direction.

"Get ready, everyone, Pep is going to have a meeting," Manu walked in and announced. "It's about the League Cup final. We don't know much about Tuchel's Chelsea, and he wants us to watch more videos."

"What about the starting lineup?" Batty asked.

"That'll probably have to wait a while," Manu said. "It might be announced the day before the game at the latest. I heard he's still struggling with it - where are the others? I have to notify them all."

"Reuben is in the gym, that's for sure, he's convinced that it works," Walker joked, then he tucked the pool cue under his armpit, "Jesus and Rodri are doing physiotherapy, there are two more in the restaurant, and the others -"

At this time, Foden suddenly leaned half of his body in from the doorway and said: "Has anyone seen Stones? Here is his package?"

"Oh, our Johnny baby asked for leave." Walker raised his hand exaggeratedly. "It was a last-minute request. He received a phone call after lunch, and then went to see Pep. Not only this afternoon, he may also be absent tomorrow morning."

Batty frowned when he heard this.

"He's missed several practices this month." He jumped off the sofa and said, "I feel like his heart isn't with us lately."

Kyle Walker shrugged and did not comment.

"That's none of our business," he said.

Seat B raised his phone and shook it: "Hey everyone, listen to this——"

[Meeting, now, go to the meeting room.]
He clicked on the latest voice message in the group, and Guardiola's voice immediately filled the entire lounge.

"Meetings, meetings, countless meetings every day." Walker threw down the pool cue and complained, "Why don't we just change the name to Manchester Meeting City?"

"Ha!" Batty jumped off the sofa and jeered loudly, "You should tell Pep that."

"I didn't say it was bad." Walker quickly tried to make amends. He made an eye-to-eye gesture to Batty, "And even if I did, you have to go."

"Why should I go?"

"He'd be mad at me if I complained about it, but not at you."

"Nonsense."

"You still don't believe it." Walker pouted and shook his head. "How about we make a bet? When we have a meeting later, you can complain that the name has been changed to Manchester Meeting City and see if he will get angry."

"Okay, I'll bet with you."

……

Batistuta seemed a little absent-minded on the way, and he didn't even notice that De Bruyne smoothed out a strand of hair behind his head.

It's not because of the bet with Walker, but——

He took out his mobile phone and opened Stones' social media account. Judging from his recent posts, he still had that curly hair and that not-so-clever smile. Interspersed among the large number of game photos were videos of him dancing in various places, which was no different from usual.

What is going wrong?
Batty twitched the corner of his mouth slightly. He thought it was necessary to have a good talk.

(End of this chapter)