[Football] Bad Boy Batty

In the stands of Stamford Bridge, the home team fans were silent, but the visiting team fans who came from afar were celebrating. The real-time score was displayed on a big screen not far away - Chelsea was trailing 0-3 at home.

Since the new year, the British government has divided England into three risk areas: high, medium and low. Each area has a different number of fans allowed to enter. Stamford Bridge was fortunately divided into the medium-risk area, allowing 2000 fans to enter, of which the home team fans accounted for the vast majority.

But unfortunately, Lampard's team was badly defeated. Havertz and Werner, who were brought in at a huge cost last summer, performed poorly. Kante, the soul of the team, also performed unsatisfactorily. The players fought on their own and fell behind by 50 goals in just 3 minutes.

Seeing that the overall situation was decided, Guardiola replaced some of the main players in advance to ensure that they had sufficient fighting power in the upcoming tense February.

Batistuta, who was substituted before he had played enough, was a little unhappy at first, but in the 73rd and 86th minutes, Foden received passes from B Silva and Cancelo to score twice and ran to the bench to celebrate with him, Batistuta's mood improved.

Aguero returned from injury and his performance in this game was surprising. He not only perfectly executed Guardiola's tactics but also scored a goal. Before this, the Argentine star said in an interview that he was still uncertain about his fate next season. Many fans believed that Aguero would definitely leave Manchester City next season. After this game, many fans called on him to renew his contract and stay, hoping that he would finally hang up his boots in Manchester City.

In the end, Manchester City defeated Chelsea 5-1 away from home, making a good start in 2021, and also extended their winning streak in the league this season to 17 rounds.

Lampard was dismissed after this painful defeat, and Chelsea officially announced that former Paris coach Tuchel would be his successor. Chelsea is currently ranked 8th in the league, 6 points away from the Europa League zone. With the season halfway through, Tuchel needs to familiarize himself with the team in a short period of time and lead the team back to the Europa League or even the Champions League zone. The burden on his shoulders is not easy.

But no matter what, for Manchester City, everyone can have a happy New Year's Day.

"The chairman said we're going to have a dinner party tonight, and I need to count the number of people in advance. Are you coming, Batty?" In the locker room, administrator Brian asked with a tablet.

Batty had just finished taking a shower and changed into casual clothes. He brushed his wet hair behind his head, nodded, and then shook his head.

"Of course I'll go. Wherever there's a party, I'll be there," he said. "But I have to go home first. Qiaolin wants to see me about something, and it seems urgent, but she's very secretive and won't tell me what it is."

"Okay, got it." Brian gestured and left with the tablet.

Neymar heard the conversation between the two and walked up to Batistuta. "What's wrong? Do you want me to go back with you?"

"No need." Batty thought for a moment and waved his hand to refuse. "No one knows what's in Qiaolin's head. It might be a surprise. You go first. I'll be there soon."

Neymar wanted to say something, but Walker rushed in with his cell phone like a madman (he was injured, so who knows how he could jump so high).

"Big news, big news!" the England defender shouted, "Real Madrid lost 1-4 to Valencia. Why? Because in the second half they gave their opponents three penalties and an own goal! You can't imagine how outrageous it is!"

Ok?
Three penalties and an own goal?
This immediately attracted Batistuta's attention. He stood up and moved over. On Walker's phone, he saw a picture of Courtois kneeling in front of the goal and screaming in despair.

"Three penalties and an own goal, how did Real Madrid do it?" Batistuta did not hide the gloating in his words. He tapped Courtois' face on the screen and joked, "What's going on? Could it be that all four defenders in front of this guy have turned out to be traitors?"

"Ha!" Walker burst into laughter. "Congratulations, you guessed Batty correctly!"

Batty's eyes widened.

He was just joking.

"Really?" Batistuta asked, "Real Madrid's four defenders gave the opponent three penalties and an own goal? Did Zidane send all the new players in?"

Walker raised his eyebrows at him. "No, it's just a newcomer." He said, "The right back is a kid from Brazil. What's his name--" He found another piece of news and flipped through it for a long time before finally finding the other person's name. "Mario Nascimento, from Real Madrid's youth training, is said to be very much liked by Zidane."

Batistuta is not very interested in the Brazilian kid that Walker mentioned. He just wants to watch the fun of Real Madrid. Of course, it would be best if the kid with the same surname as the football king Pele can play well, but he would not be surprised if not.

At this time, Qiaolin sent him another message.

Batty glanced at his phone and said, "I'm leaving now. I'll be there on time for the dinner party tonight. Wait for me. If you don't wait for me to start, you're done."

……

When Batty returned home, opened the door, and saw the walls covered with fan fiction and fan art of him and Augustus, he regretted it.

I shouldn't have come back for this so-called 'surprise'.

Batty rolled his eyes, then he pulled one off the wall.

The title reads: Winner's Party
Classification: nc-17
Pairing: Augustus/Bati; Mbappe/Bati; Manchester United locker room/Bati, the slash is meaningful
Summary: Unfortunately, Manchester City lost to Manchester United in the derby for the first time in three years. What's more unfortunate is that Batistuta made a harsh statement before the game that the loser would send one player to the winner's locker room to be deployed by the other team. He was chosen and became the first sacrifice.
Batistuta looked down and read the text in a low voice: "Augustus came to collect the spoils. He carried Batistuta up. In order to preserve the atmosphere of the game, he forbade him to change his jersey. Batistuta's face became even more sour. Everyone believed that he had torn Augustus to pieces in his heart. Soon, Augustus learned this from the mirror. He patted Batistuta's butt, deliberately making the sound very loud. 'Don't worry, we will take good care of you.' He whispered, and then gloriously, carried the spoils through the passage of Old Trafford. Waiting for Batistuta, there will be dozens of..."

The reading came to an abrupt halt.

Batistuta took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. Three seconds later, he gritted his teeth and crumpled the paper in his hand into a ball. With a long string of Portuguese swear words, he threw the ball into the toilet.

Qiaolin’s text message came at the perfect time.

Qiaolin: Hey, baby boy
Qiaolin: Do you like the New Year's gift that Claire and I gave you?
Qiao Lin: I wrote the article while working overtime, and I asked a big shot in the industry to get the pictures.
Qiaolin: It cost 300 dollars.

Batty: (Middle finger)
Batty: (Middle finger)
Batty: (Middle finger)

(Countless middle finger emojis omitted below)

Batty: You know how much I hate that lunatic
Batty: But you did it anyway
Batty: You just want to piss me off, right?

Qiao Lin: Yep
Qiaolin: I like to see you angry but helpless.
Qiaolin: Very cute
Batty: ...
Batty: (Middle finger)

Just when Batty was so angry that he wanted to go behind the network cable, grab the bridge's neck and shake it hard, a prompt sound came from the elevator.

Batty backed out of the room to see what was going on.

He first saw a potted plant floating in the air, and then Courtois' face appeared from behind the potted plant.

"Hi Batistuta, Happy New Year." The Belgian goalkeeper smiled particularly warmly. He waved at Batistuta and said, "Would you like to invite me in to sit down?"

……

Batty didn't let him in, but only allowed him to put the new potted plants at the door.

"Looks like you got my doorman back," Batty said, crossing his arms. "I told them I'd fire them if they let anyone in again. Tell me, how did you do it?"

"I promised that guy that I would persuade you not to fire him, and if you insisted on doing that, I would let him join my team," Courtois replied with a shrug.

"Really?"

"Most likely not."

Batistuta let out a sarcastic laugh. Among the people he knew, only Courtois could say such words, and he said it with a smile on his face, as if that was how things should be done.

"Okay, let's change the subject. What are you doing here today?" Batty asked. "Just to give you a gift?"

"No, I want a breakup shot." Courtois was very frank, or rather, he was too frank, so frank that even Batistuta was stunned.

After a moment of silence, Batty couldn't help laughing.

Is this guy serious?

"We've never been together, so how can there be a breakup?" Batty said with a sneer.

"That's right." Courtois nodded, not seeming to care about Batistuta's words at all. He thought for a moment, "Then the Christmas cannon? Or the first cannon of the New Year. I believe there is always a reason for us to have it once."

Batty pursed his lips.

He wanted to smile and frown at the same time.

Everything Courtois said was ridiculous yet damn reasonable. Batistuta seemed to hear the sound of gears in his head being stuck and unable to turn.

There are not many people who can make his brain crash, and the Belgian in front of him is definitely one of them.

"I heard that you just conceded three penalties and an own goal from your own defender." Batistuta said lightly, "And you are not in Madrid now, and you are not thinking about the game but being me." "It's not my fault that I lost the ball, I don't need to practice more." Courtois answered indifferently, as if the man who collapsed and roared in the photo was not him, "I am the best. If it weren't for me, they would have been beaten into a sieve long ago. I deserve to enjoy it."

Batty was speechless.

To some extent, he quite appreciates Courtois' attitude.

"Come on, I know you want it too." Courtois said as he quietly moved towards the door. He pushed open the half-open door of Batistuta and fixed his eyes on the cabinet in the entrance hall.

Remember he almost did it with Batty during the holidays.

He was unlucky that day and his calculation was wrong, otherwise he would have definitely made Batistuta lose consciousness in front of someone.
Or it could be even more fun to force that guy to join in, and to block Batty's mouth while he grabs Batty's waist and thrusts forward, which is exciting just to think about.

"I've been thinking about you ever since that game." Courtois tried to pull Batistuta's hand, and seeing that Batistuta did not refuse, he became more presumptuous and quickly picked up Batistuta and put him on the cabinet.

This is the advantage of having a height difference.

The vibration and air flow caused several articles and pictures on the wall to fall off.

Courtois glanced and saw the content above, but he didn't care. He focused all his attention on Batistuta who was a little dazed in front of him.

"You have your life, and I have mine, but Batistuta, there are only two of us here at this moment. Isn't this a destined fate?" Courtois rubbed the corner of Batistuta's mouth with his thumb, then reached out and gently tucked a few strands of hair behind Batistuta's ears.

fate?
Batistuta looked at Courtois' lips so close.

Wasn't it you who broke into the apartment on your own initiative?
But despite his thoughts, Batistuta did not say those sarcastic remarks. Even if he did, I believe Courtois would have reasons to explain it.

"After the game that day, you were so proactive—"

Courtois whispered in Batistuta's ear what happened after the game. He described it in great detail, even embellishing some parts. Batistuta thought that if he were asked to write fan fiction, at least in terms of in-depth communication, he would make a large number of authors feel inferior.

The Belgian goalkeeper's fingertips slowly slid down along the ear, passing the chin, collar, waist, all the way to Batistuta's knees.

He separated them.

near.

"Now tell me, Batistuta." Courtois put his ear close to Batistuta's chest, "Do you really want to drive me away against its will?"

Half a minute later.
Batty's slacks were thrown to the ground.

'Boom—'

As the door closed, the room fell into darkness, with only some small sounds proving that there was someone inside.

……

About 20 minutes later, the door reopened and Courtois was thrown out.

"Thank you for your New Year's gift. Now you can go away."

Batistuta leaned against the cabinet to tidy up his messy hair and collar. After saying that, he waved to Courtois, turned around and slammed the door.

Courtois stared at the closed door for almost 3 minutes, smiled, stood up and dusted himself off.

"It's so cruel to just throw it away after use," he said.

but--
He had gotten what he wanted.

Courtois waved to the monitor on the door and left the apartment whistling a tune.

This is a good start.

He believed that Batty would fall in love with him.

……

Batistuta went to take a shower, then called Brian to say he couldn't go to the party. He then sent a message to Manchester City's operations officer asking him to send some posts at a certain time. Finally, he called De Bruyne who was at the party.

"Hey Kevin," was the first sentence.
"Thibau Courtois just came to my house." This was the second sentence.

De Bruyne's breathing stopped for a moment. He paused for a long time and repeatedly confirmed that he was not drunk.

"You said just now——"

"Courtois came to my place just now and wished me a happy new year," Batistuta answered first. "He stayed for 20 minutes and has left now, leaving a potted plant as a gift."

"Why are you telling me this?" De Bruyne's voice already sounded angry. He didn't understand why every time he and Batistuta had a quarrel and made up, the relationship could not last long. There was always something disgusting happening.

"I don't want to lie to you, and I don't want to quarrel," Barty said. "I don't want to hurt you, I want--"

The call was hung up before I could finish my sentence, and when I called again, I was blocked.

Buddy lay down on the sofa and opened a bag of snacks. Hearing the sound of the bag, the black cat Jam ran out of the room and squatted on Buddy's belly to look at him.

"Oh, little cutie." Batty held the cat in his arms, "Dad Kevin is angry, I'm sorry, but--"

The cat didn't know what was going on, he just wanted a snack.

Batty held a corn chip in his hand to tease the cat, "What do you think Kevin's father will do?" He asked Jam, "How can I win his heart back?"

The little black cat called out in response.

Buddy broke the corn flakes into small pieces and gave them to the cat. He didn't need anyone to answer him because he already had the answer in his mind.

Not long after, the sound of fingerprint unlocking was heard at the door.

De Bruyne rushed in like a tornado, his face full of determination to find fault, but compared to his previous angry moments, he was obviously much calmer this time.

"Hey, here he comes!" Batty picked up the cat in a pretentious manner and held up his front paws to welcome him. "We thought of many ways to apologize, but in the end we didn't know which one would be best."

De Bruyne remained unmoved and stared at Batistuta angrily.

"I was wrong, and I want to make amends." Batty sat up obediently and said with a long tail: "Please teach me how to do it well, Kevin Dad."

Uh huh!

De Bruyne seemed to be hit all of a sudden, cracks appeared on his cold mask, his eyes flickered, and his breathing gradually became heavier.

Then——

A piece of writing titled "Angry Sex" fell from the wall, and Cat Jam had a whole bag of cornflakes scattered around the living room to himself, ignoring the noises of his owners high up in the rooms.

At the same time, Batistuta posted a photo of him and De Bruyne on his personal social account. Manchester City officials reposted it and launched a lottery, officially announcing that their king and the midfield core had reconciled.

The fans were so excited that they burst into tears.

No one knew what happened in the room.

(End of this chapter)