[Football] Bad Boy Batty

2020 was an extremely bad year. People all over the world were hoping that it would pass quickly. First, the epidemic caused chaos in the international situation, and then triggered a local financial crisis. As the countdown to the end of the year began, the weather began to have problems.

The extremely cold air mass escaping from the Arctic Circle moved southward to Europe, with the British Isles bearing the brunt of the disaster. The temperature in Manchester in the northwest plummeted, with the highest daily temperature at one point reaching -5°C, a new low compared to last year.

To make matters worse, Manchester was hit by a snowstorm on Christmas Day.

Although the snowstorm did not bring about a particularly serious financial or resident safety crisis, Europe's usual inefficiency still caused the entire city to be buried in snow, the deepest of which was up to an adult's thigh, and some places were frozen to a thickness of 1 foot.

For the players, bad weather means a break from play.

Soon, the English Football Association issued a statement saying that the 15th and 16th rounds of the league affected by weather will be postponed to April, including Manchester City's home game against Newcastle.

Although the game was postponed, training and activities could not be reduced. The day after the snowstorm ended, Manchester City offered double wages to the staff to clean the training ground, ensuring that the boys could play at their best in the first game of the new year. As usual, the players need to come to the club on time and are not allowed to take leave unless there are special circumstances.

"Damn snowstorm! I hate the weather in the UK. Everything is ruined." In the locker room, Neymar complained with a long face.

Due to bad weather and flight delays, his mother and sister were unable to arrive in the UK from Brazil in time, which resulted in him being alone in the villa on Christmas Eve (in fact, a large group of his friends, his father and the team were there), and Batistuta refused to spend Christmas with Neymar at his villa because of his godfather and River's visit, which made things worse.

"It happened this morning too. I had just driven less than a kilometer when my tires slipped and I was spinning on the road. It was a main road and no one was clearing the snow," Neymar continued to complain.

"You should call me and I'll send a helicopter to pick you up." Batty leaned against the cabinet, playing with an earphone in his hand. "I hate the weather in the UK, too, but dear, two seasons have passed, and I thought you had adapted to it."

"I'll never get used to this shitty weather." Neymar made a disgusted expression, then he pulled off his sweater, and the friction caused his head to explode.

Yes, he changed his hairstyle again before Christmas, but this time it was not so groundbreaking. He only shaved his temples and the hair around them, leaving only a row of horse mane-like hair on the top and back of his head. He retained the original color, but permed it into small wool curls.

When it comes to fashion, Neymar has his own theories.

Batty often laughed at him for this, but never forced him to change or anything, and sometimes even gave him suggestions to make him look more "trendy" overall.

This is not because he is a good person, but——
What fun would Neymar have if he stopped messing with his hair and hairstyle?

While Neymar was bending over to put on his shoes, Batistuta reached out and ruffled his hair. "It feels really good. It feels like I'm at a ranch."

"Right, for this effect, I specially asked the stylist to do it twice." Neymar took this as a compliment. He raised his head to cooperate with Batistuta's hand, and then winked at him, "But this is not complete yet. I have a better idea for them."

Batty deliberately exaggerated his surprise, "Really? What is it?"

Neymar was very proud. He kept his secret like a treasure and did not tell Batistuta. In the end, he put on his hat after letting Batistuta touch his hair.

"You'll know on my birthday," he said.

"I hope you can really come up with a good idea." Batty teased, "Don't just shave your head like before, I hate it (that look)."

"What!" Neymar was quite surprised. He opened his mouth and recalled the previous experience. He felt offended. "So this is why you found all kinds of reasons to refuse to go out with me during that time?"

"Yeah, that's right." Batty seemed not to notice Neymar's annoyance, and continued naturally: "I don't object to you growing a beard, that's sexy, but you can't be without hair. If you have to choose one, I would rather you move the beard to your head."

Neymar stopped talking, and his face, which had recovered a little, fell back into silence again.

B Silva happened to pass by them on his way to the outdoor training ground. He was not interested in the hairstyle, but he also heard Batistuta's "offensive remarks" about Neymar. To be honest, he thought he had gone too far.

Don't get me wrong, of course he loved Batty, but sometimes their King could be a real jerk.

Batistuta is not the kind of leader with great leadership ability and temperament. His charm is unconventional. Sometimes you love him, sometimes you hate him, but most of the time these two emotions exist at the same time.

Sean B put on his gloves and waved to the camera at the entrance. He felt that if this was a military TV series, Batty would definitely be the kind of officer he hated the most but who could follow him down from the battlefield.

"Yoho~"

A few shouts not far away interrupted B's thoughts. As the one who had suffered the most pranks in the team, he stopped vigilantly.

Not far away, several people led by Walker stood in a row, looking at this side with mysterious smiles as if they were copied and pasted.

Seat B's heart was filled with alarm.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Nothing." Walker said, trying not to laugh. "Come on, don't just stand there."

Certainly not good.

The Portuguese midfielder looked around, focusing on the ground. After a few seconds, he really found the problem - there was a small area of ​​ice on the left side of the entrance. If he didn't step on it carefully, he would definitely make a fool of himself in front of others.

"Haha, you failed." Seat B walked over with a smile on his face, shaking his index finger, "Want to see me fall? I'm afraid there's no way -"

Before he could finish his words, he slipped and the scenery in front of him suddenly made a 90-degree turn.

'Whoosh! '

'Snapped! '

"AHHHH!"
Seat B fell on his back, and the group of guys on the opposite side who were waiting to see the show laughed unrestrainedly. Walker even squatted on the ground holding his stomach.

“Hahahaha Bernardo, who’s failed now?” Stones walked over with a smile, squatted down, and hit B’s head very smoothly, “You only saw the obvious piece, but you didn’t know that the whole exit was covered with ice. No one could escape.”

"Oh!" There were more chirping birds and circling stars above Seat B's head.

"That's a good one." Walker finally got up, he came to Stones, and the two of them worked together to pull B Silva up.

Soon Zinchenko and Aguero also came to B Silva. They diligently helped him brush off the snow on his body, then put their arms around his shoulders and returned to their previous positions in unison.

"Welcome to the 'Slippery Survivor' Club." Walker extended his hand to Seat B.

"Huh?" B Sean was confused. Walker grabbed his hand and shook it, then gestured for him to look at the entrance. Only then did B Sean react, "Oh! All of you——"

You've fallen before, right?

"Shh." Walker made a gesture to silence the crowd. "Now, let's wait for the next victim."

and so.
Because I have fallen before, I have to watch others fall. It's typical that if the death knell tolls for me, then it must toll for others too. If I drag others into the water, I won't be the one who suffers the most.

The corner of Seat B's mouth twitched.

Then?

Then he happily joined the club and waited for the next unfortunate person to walk out of the passage.

At this time-

"I'm coming!"

The members of the 'Slippery Survivor' club all looked towards the door with wide eyes, only to see Neymar walking down the stairs angrily, muttering to himself. Combining what he had just seen, B席 guessed that he was mumbling about Batistuta.

Soon Neymar spotted them.

The Brazilian was stunned. "Why are you all standing here? What happened—"

'Whoosh! '

'Snapped! '

"what--"
The same scene was played out again. Neymar was even more confused than B Silva just now, and his posture was not much more graceful. The interesting thing was that his hat was tilted, revealing one of his ears. The guys watching laughed wildly, like Donald Duck who had just received money from his uncle.

"Hahahahaha ouch!" Sean B laughed until tears came out, and only then did he finally feel the fun of other people and successfully put aside the last bit of guilt in his heart.

It turns out that watching others suffer misfortune is really joyful!
"Come, hold my hand." B Silva extended a helping hand to Neymar, just like Walker and Stones did not long ago.

He put his arm around Neymar's shoulder and patted him.

"Now, let's look forward to the next contestant's appearance!"

……

Batistuta was bored and scrolling through his phone in the locker room. He knew Neymar was angry, but he did it on purpose because he had an appointment and Neymar's presence would make things 100 times more complicated. A few minutes later, just when Batistuta was about to open YouTube to watch a video out of boredom, the guy finally arrived.

"Hey." Batty put away his phone and stood up.

"Sorry, I just went to the equipment department to change my boots," De Bruyne said. "What's up?"

He acted very indifferent, as if he was very reluctant to come here, which made Batty a little unhappy. They had dated many times behind everyone's back since the new season, and he was very enthusiastic at that time, but looking at his face now, Batty felt like he had begged for those kisses and sex.

"There's no one else here, who are you pretending for?" Batty said unhappily.

De Bruyne kept a tense face for several seconds, then he relaxed, walked over with his usual calm expression and kissed Batistuta on the corner of his mouth.

"Just a joke." He said and hugged Barty again. It was obvious that he enjoyed this game of them working together to deceive everyone.

Batty rolled his eyes at him: "That joke is not funny at all."

"Okay, my bad," De Bruyne said. "What did you want to say when you called me over here?"

"I want to ask - when do you plan to finish?" Batty raised his chin slightly, "During the holiday you mentioned Christmas, and now it's the 27th, how long do you want to play until?"

"About this." De Bruyne thought for a moment, "New Year, when we get a good start... or Valentine's Day? Or your birthday."

"Ha!" Batty sneered loudly. "It's getting later and later. My birthday? Why don't you say you'll end it when I retire?"

"If you would like—"

"I won't!" Batty elbowed him in the stomach. "I'm telling you, the New Year must end. By then, even if you don't like it, I'm going to post a photo to tell the world that we're back together. There's no room for negotiation!"

"We are not reconciled at all." De Bruyne exaggeratedly covered his stomach, "You hurt me, I will sue you, you have to compensate me--"

Barty rolled his eyes again.

Just then, the door opened.

"Bati, Batti! You actually signed a contract with Fortnite without telling us! I just saw that your character will be launched in next week's update, my God! I absolutely must get it. It's a pity that this game doesn't allow costume changes, otherwise I would definitely let you try out my collection!"

Lucas rushed in happily waving a towel, and when he saw Batistuta and De Bruyne standing together, he was stunned for 2 seconds.

"Hi, Luki," Batty greeted.

Lucas' brain didn't react. He looked at Batistuta and then turned his attention to the Belgian: "Christmas is over, you - are you going to ask him out in the New Year?"

"What?" De Bruyne didn't expect Lucas to think that way.

"I'm telling you, he doesn't have time. We agreed in advance on New Year's Day that he would play games with me tonight." Lucas walked over quickly and hooked his arm around Batty's neck. "Don't try to cheat and take it from me. Find another time."

Batty: ...

He couldn't help rolling his eyes for the third time today.

De Bruyne was amused. "I wouldn't have a chance if I robbed you," he said in French.

Lucas' French was not as good as his, and he only understood half of the short sentence, "Arrogant Belgian, I'm being very polite." Out of some strange tendency to compare, he switched to Spanish.

"At least I didn't rush in and interrupt other people's conversations, and then criticize them based on my own imagination and release inexplicable hostility." De Bruyne said that he changed three languages ​​in one sentence, including Batistuta's native language. Perhaps he is indeed talented in languages. Over the years, he has been able to use Portuguese fluently.

So naturally, Lucas—furious.

Batty: ...

About 5 minutes later, Batty was annoyed by them and had a headache, so he shook off Lucas' arm and walked straight out. Between the cold wind and the headache, he chose the former.

"You guys continue." He turned his back and waved impatiently, "I'm leaving."

The two people behind him stopped in tacit understanding.

Lucas shrugged at De Bruyne unfriendly, then quickly chased after him, "Wait for me Batistuta!"

Tsk tsk.

De Bruyne spread his hands and followed closely.

"Barty, your interior project is not finished yet. I remember you have an interior project, do you have one?"

……

At the entrance of the training ground.

The members of the 'Slippery Survivor' club were a little discouraged. They hadn't waited for the next lucky person for a while. The waiting process was always long, and it was no exception anywhere.

"Hey! Someone's coming!" Aguero jumped up and held Neymar's shoulders and shook him back and forth, "It's Batistuta, hurry up, hurry up!"

Oh hoo!

When they heard that Batti was coming, everyone immediately perked up.

If they could see the King wrestle miserably, they would be happy to get beaten. A beating in exchange for being a laughing stock in the locker room for the next few months, is there any more worthwhile deal than this?

A group of people blocking there to watch a joke were quite conspicuous, and Batty noticed them as soon as he came out of the passage.

Not right.

The king narrowed his eyes, something was very wrong.

"What are you planning?" He slowed down his pace and asked loudly, "I'll give you a chance to confess. Otherwise, if I find out later, you might--ah!"

"I'm coming!"
"look look look!"
"Wahahahahahahahaha!"
"How miserable, Barty!"

Unlike the others just now, Barty did not fall on his back. He was the one who reacted the fastest. However, the fate of those who reacted quickly and those who reacted slowly was the same on the ice. After dancing a few ghost steps, he still couldn't keep himself steady and sat down on the ground.

The vibration spread from the bottom of the buttocks all the way to the top of the head.

Batty looked at his teammates who were pointing at him and laughing at him. There was a blank look on his face for a few seconds, and then it turned into annoyance: "You guys——"

But before he could get up, he heard Lucas's exclamation from behind.

"Bati! Are you okay?" The French defender ran towards Batistuta at full speed. "Don't worry, I'll help you up right away."

At the same time, De Bruyne also appeared from the passage, almost parallel to Lucas and walked towards Batistuta. The two of them were on the left and the right, as if continuing the childish dispute that had just occurred in the locker room.

Batty felt something was wrong.

"Stop, stop, stop! There's—"

Obviously they couldn't stop, and Batistuta watched Lucas and De Bruyne rush to him at the same time, then take off at the same time, and fall on both sides of him in a similar posture, like twins.

"——There is ice." Batty finished his words dryly.

The players on the training ground were silent for a second, and then burst into thunderous laughter. From Walker to Neymar, no one could stand upright on the grass.

"Hahahaha this is amazing! This is fucking amazing!"
"Camera! Is there a camera? We must save that footage!"
"Help, hahaha, the three of them, hahaha!"

Batty: ...

He stood up from the ice, rubbing his butt, and clenched his fists at the guys who were laughing loudly over there.

"Tell me who comes first."

Ouch.
No one is laughing now.

(End of this chapter)